Theoretical Romance Scholar
Theoretical Romance Scholar
Day 2 of the northern migration.
Yuzel, who had sprung up in the morning, dressed formally and went to work at the Official Residence.
But the Official Residence was quiet.
"...."
Not knowing what to do, the bewildered Yuzel saw a door slightly ajar.
As she cautiously approached and peeked inside, Yuzel's cheeks turned bright red.
'Oh my! Good heavens!'
Beside the lying Piel, Hildea and Rebecca were diligently pressing and massaging him with their hands.
At the sight, reminiscent of favored concubines attending the Emperor's nightly service, Yuzel's heart pounded fiercely.
'So that's it...! The Colonel-nim was already the man of the two commanders...!'
She also saw Luna floating in midair, sleeping soundly.
'Not two, but three? Kyaak!'
***
Yuzel waited demurely in the reception room until Piel woke up.
A few hours later, Piel finally emerged from the bedroom, stretching.
"Huh? Yuzel?"
"Yes! I've arrived for work!"
"Why are you sitting so rigidly? When there's nothing to do, just rest comfortably."
"Understood!"
"I slept in late today. I'm going to eat brunch, so you get ready too."
"Brunch?"
"You call a meal that's both breakfast and lunch, brunch."
"Aha!"
Piel and the ladies finished their preparations to go out and left the Official Residence.
The soldiers were waiting, having prepared the fully serviced Palanquin.
"Today we're just quietly escorting the commanders-nim, so I'll have HIMARS pull the Palanquin."
"Yes! I'll go get HIMARS!"
Yuzel tilted her head inwardly.
'What's HIMARS?'
A moment later, a small-bodied foal came bounding over, full of excitement, with a thud-thud-thud.
It was entirely ash-gray, with patches of pure white fur sprouting here and there.
Yuzel was startled by the foal's forehead.
"A horn! There's a horn on its forehead!"
"It's a Unicorn. You must have heard of them?"
"Huh? That's a Unicorn? That's absurd!"
Yuzel nearly lost strength in her legs.
Unicorns, mysteriously, only awaken in the Northern region, but because the imperial family or nobles occasionally imported them, they could be seen a few times in the Empire as well.
However, the Unicorns Yuzel had seen so far....
"The Unicorn horns I've seen were never that big!"
"That's because they were starved."
"St-starved?"
Yuzel recalled the Unicorn her father had raised with utmost care.
He provided unlimited hay and always gave it boiled beans at least once a day.
She couldn't forget the sight of the Unicorn doing nothing but stuffing itself all day long.
'Abeoji really fed the Unicorn diligently. But in the end, it died of malnutrition....'
How heartbroken the Emperor had been because it died of malnutrition despite eating all day long.
"We're moving. Yuzel, you get on the Palanquin too."
Yuzel carefully climbed onto the very back seat of the Palanquin.
Piel sat in the center, with Hildea and Rebecca sitting glued right to his sides.
"HIMARS, let's go."
-Heeheeheeng! Purrurr!
The Unicorn's horn emitted a glow.
The Palanquin floated up about 2 meters and began to move.
Luna, also floating in the air, moved alongside the Palanquin.
"Colonel-nim, what is the Unicorn eating right now?"
"Ah? That's called an apple."
"Excuse me? Apple?"
"Want to try one?"
The Unicorn was continuously chewing on an apple taken from a feed bucket floating in the air.
It looked delicious, but Yuzel still had some human dignity left and couldn't bring herself to share food from it.
Fortunately, Piel took out separate apples from the Subspace Bracelet and handed them out to the ladies, including Yuzel.
Crunch.
The moment she bit into the apple, sweet fruit juice spread softly through her mouth.
Yuzel was moved to the point of tears.
"It's delicious! So delicious! I've never tasted such a sweet and delicious fruit before! Oh my, what do I do!"
As she devoured the apple in an instant, Yuzel praised herself once again.
As expected, she had made the right choice staying in the north.
The Palanquin arrived at the frequently visited picnic hill.
Piel prepared to grill Samgyeopsal.
'That's? The thing I ate at the banquet!'
Yuzel's eyes widened, and she quickly tried to help, but Piel shook his head.
"First, watch how it's done."
"Yes, yes!"
On the grill plate placed over the Kerosene burner, the meat sizzled appetizingly.
Yuzel waited, swallowing her saliva repeatedly.
The smell of meat tickling her nose madly stimulated her hunger.
"Actually, the Samgyeopsal at the banquet wasn't perfect."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Since they only put out a few vegetables and ended it, it couldn't be called perfect. True Samgyeopsal is eaten by grilling kimchi, bean sprouts, chives, garlic, onion, and king oyster mushrooms together with it."
Various vegetables were added onto the grill plate.
At the unfamiliar appearance, Yuzel's eyes started spinning even more.
Hildea, Rebecca, and Luna watched from the side, giggling.
Piel carefully placed meat and grilled vegetables onto a lettuce leaf to make a wrap, then offered it to Yuzel.
"Here, open your mouth."
"Ah...."
"Good. That's it."
As he placed the wrap, made into a suitable one-bite size, into her mouth, Yuzel chewed without hesitation.
The fatty taste of the Samgyeopsal wrapped in the thin leaf of lettuce.
The intense taste of garlic that offset it.
The sweet taste of grilled onion that gently caressed her tongue.
The refreshing taste of the red bean sprouts that crunched crisply.
A whirlwind of all sorts of fantastical flavor combinations swept through Yuzel's mouth.
Yuzel's eyes, having devoured the mouthful of ssam in an instant, grew moist and glistening.
"What I ate at the Buffet... was just meat."
"Indeed. The knights who kept inhaling it without getting sick of it are really something. If it were me, I'd get tired of it after a few bites and put my fork down."
And so, the brunch Samgyeopsal party began.
Yuzel, who was eating frantically, eventually had to stop mid-way because her stomach was full.
She was so envious of the two Masters who kept inhaling food without pause.
'How can he be so caring...?'
Only when her stomach was too full to eat any more, did she finally start to notice her surroundings.
Piel was diligently grilling meat, wrapping ssam, and feeding it into Hildea's mouth.
Rebecca, instead of making wraps, kept eating the meat by lightly dipping it in sauce.
The mage Luna also soon felt full, put down her fork, and licked her lips.
Piel himself didn't eat very much, but his hands grilling the meat never stopped.
At last, only when the two Masters' stomachs were full did the meat grilling come to an end.
Everyone finished the meal together with Melona.
"Yuzel, I'm going to do the dishes. Follow me."
"Yes!"
Yuzel busily started preparing to gather the dishes.
"HIMARS, listen up."
-Heeheeheeng!
The Unicorn, which had been chewing on apples throughout the meal, flashed its horn brightly.
Yuzel was able to move comfortably to the stream without having to carry the dishes.
"Normally, the two Master Commander-nims did the dishes. From now on, you, as their handmaiden, will take over."
"Understood!"
"Here, let me show you how to wash. This is dish soap, and this is a scrubber...."
Yuzel was again stunned to the point of fainting by the magical-like phenomenon of grease washing off so easily.
'If the Imperial family finds out about this, they'll definitely demand it as tribute!'
***
While Piel took Yuzel away to teach her dishwashing,
a serious talk among the three women took place.
"You bitches. Why aren't you trying harder?"
The lowest ranked person, Luna's scolding.
But her title was the highest — a landless duke — and at 24 she was also the eldest.
"What the hell is the problem? Huh? Say something."
Hildea, like a mute who had eaten honey, could not open her mouth.
Rebecca sighed softly and spoke.
"Lately, I've been thinking that Piel might have no sexual desire. It's certainly not that he prefers men...."
"No sexual desire, huh."
Luna floated here and there, deep in thought, then clapped her hands as if struck by realization.
"I think I know what it is."
"What?"
"What is it, Luna?"
Luna wagged her finger and clicked her tongue.
"Colonel-nim is a handsome man from a wealthy family with a great physique. Naturally, he must be accustomed to receiving the love of all kinds of beautiful women since childhood, don't you think?"
"Indeed...."
"That makes sense."
"I saw this before in Count Anbelrum's territory. Count Elenoa was so terribly fond of Colonel-nim. Like a real mother, licking and biting, it was no joke."
Rebecca let out a light groan.
"The Commander-in-Chief said that Elenoa is such a beautiful woman with a great figure, so you could say his standards for women are extremely high...."
Luna giggled, still wagging her finger.
"Hildeng, you're the biggest problem."
"M-me? Why?"
"I know the heart of a supremely handsome man like Colonel-nim well. All knowledge exists in books, you know."
The two women had no idea that those books were medieval romance fantasies.
Nor did they know that Luna loved stories of tyrant male leads worn out by the court politics of wicked women....
"Think about it. Colonel-nim, who has grown accustomed to the contact of countless beauties since childhood, would have a threshold for sexual stimulation that is already sky-high."
Nod, nod. Nod, nod.
"He's also been disgustingly fed up with the secret infighting between women over him, so he wouldn't want the two of you to drift apart because of him either."
"That could certainly be true."
"Luna, don't interrupt, hurry up...."
"He must be tired to death of women who were gentle and giving, as if they'd hand over everything, only to turn into wicked women once they'd secured the bedroom.
Colonel-nim is already seeing the future. How the two of you will eventually change."
Hildea flared up.
"No matter what happens, I will not change!"
"...I won't change, either."
Luna clicked her tongue in pity.
"That's because you're still maidens trapped in the eggshell, so you're that confident. Colonel-nim must have been through it many times — a woman declaring, 'I will never change,' suddenly erupting in jealousy and turning into a wicked woman. Don't you think?"
"...."
"...."
Luna gave them a neat summary.
Because Piel had many beauties around him since childhood, like Elenoa, his threshold toward the opposite sex was extremely high.
He had long been tormented by women,
and he was thoroughly sick of watching a woman he thought was good collapse from jealousy and turn into a wicked woman. That was the analysis.
To the two women, it seemed a perfectly sound theoretical analysis.
"Tyrants aren't born on their own. Wicked women make tyrants. Got it? And also...."
Until Piel and Yuzel returned, Luna's theoretical romance lecture continued.
***
While doing the dishes, Yuzel abruptly asked me,
"Um, but Officer-nim, what exactly is your relationship with the three ladies?"
"Oh? You're curious?"
"If I know precisely what it is, I think I won't make mistakes as a handmaiden in the future...."
Now that I thought about it, she was right.
Since she had already sworn upon the Sword of Subordination, I decided to tell her without worry.
"Luna is like a little sister to me who needs a lot of attention. She's five years older than me, though."
I briefly pictured Rebecca.
"Rebecca-nim proposed to me right away when we first met. I still haven't given her an answer."
"Oh, why? Rebecca-nim is a beauty any man would fall in love with."
"I admit that too. Rebecca-nim's figure is very much my type."
Yuzel's eyes lit up with excitement.
As expected of an 18-year-old girl, you like this kind of story, huh?
"But I can't sleep with Rebecca-nim."
"Because of Hildea-nim, right?"
"Yes. Because marrying Hildea-nim is the most ideal scenario for me."
"...But Hildea-nim seems like she would accept Rebecca-nim as a second wife? To me, it looks like there's no problem at all."
"I think so too, but you never know which way a woman's heart will go. If, after Hildea-nim and I are bound together, she suddenly adamantly opposes Rebecca-nim, then the North will split apart."
"Ah... I'm convinced. Certainly, jealousy can turn a woman into a completely different person...."
Taking both women as wives was the ideal direction for peace in the North.
I couldn't touch Rebecca first. If I did, Hildea might fall into darkness.
But if I took Hildea and her mind suddenly changed, and she declared she couldn't accept Rebecca?
The North would split just the same.
And I might have to live the rest of my life shackled to a chest that might never grow beyond a B cup.
"And they say Sword Masters are fertile all year round."
"That's right! I've heard that too! If you even have intercourse once, pregnancy is absolute...!"
"Losing a Sword Master's combat power during wartime is too great a risk."
"...You have many reasons, Officer-nim."
Hildea was undeniably a lovely woman, a perfect beauty except for her small breasts.
But no one could guarantee where a Sword Master virgin who had tasted a man might run wild.
I am always afraid that Hildea might change for the worse.
"When the flirting phase ends and real dating begins, a woman changes. When dating ends and marriage begins, she changes again. And after giving birth, she changes yet again. The problem is, you never know how she'll change until it happens."
"Goodness... Officer-nim has indeed suffered a lot because of women."
"That's why I intend to enjoy this peace for as long as possible. While also waiting until the bond between the two of them becomes deeply and irreversibly matured."
Even in my previous life, I'd suffered greatly by letting my guard down at a woman's smiling face.
I have no intention of ever letting my guard down.
'I trust Hildea the General, but I can't trust the jealousy of Hildea the woman.'
***
Anvelrum, Ainshuvan Expeditionary Force barracks.
Dvill opened his eyes.
The knights were holding their breath, watching him.
Watching the aura blade that had bloomed brilliantly from his machete.
"Congratulations on your great achievement, Lord Deville...."
"Congratulations."
"Congratulations."
"Congratulations!"
Dvill smiled.
"All of this is thanks to the grace of the Marshall Kit."
Another Sword Master had been born.