Even in the Tiger's Den, Wits Prevail... Of All People
Of all the rotten luck. Of all the people in the world, why did it have to be her?
“Darling? What’s wrong? Your face has gone completely pale.”
…As if it had any reason not to. I had only stepped out to buy some groceries, nothing more. I’d wanted a brief escape from the stifling Imperial Palace, a chance to clear my head with a bit of market air. And yet, right in the middle of the bustling market, I had to run into this mad princess.
Victoria clung to my arm, beaming up at me with that bright, innocent smile. I screamed internally at the sight.
‘…How in the world did she find me here? Don’t tell me that crow actually—’
The suspicious crow circling overhead flashed through my mind. No, surely not… A mere bird couldn’t possibly… But that wasn’t the real problem right now. The real problem was the situation I was in: the infamous mad princess publicly calling me “darling” and hanging off my arm for everyone to see.
…A cold sweat trickled down my spine.
If I refused her? Out of the question. I knew all too well what those crimson eyes were threatening. One wrong move and I’d be in for another disaster. But being dragged along like this didn’t feel much better either. It was—
……Wait a moment. I steadied myself.
…Right. There was an old saying: even if you’re dragged into a tiger’s den, you’ll survive if you keep your wits about you. Panicking would only make me easy prey. In times like this, the best defense was a bold offense. Don’t lose your nerve, Kyle Lowenheim. You’ve dealt with far worse customers in your past life. Drunken troublemakers, people who nitpicked perfectly good food, even those who grabbed you by the collar demanding refunds. You smiled through all of it in that hellish dining hall, didn’t you? Surely you can handle one mad princess.
“…Ah, darling.”
Steeling my resolve, I took Victoria’s hand in mine instead.
“…!”
Her eyes widened in shock. The man she usually toyed with had suddenly turned the tables on her. She looked genuinely flustered.
“I’m sorry you had to come looking for me. I got distracted by some fine cuts of meat… Haha.”
I flashed her a smooth, easygoing smile, then turned to the nearby merchants with the air of a doting husband.
“My wife is still quite shy, you see. I hope you’ll all be understanding.”
The merchants burst into hearty laughter.
“Oh my, the groom dotes on his bride something fierce!”
“They make a lovely pair, they do!”
Amid those warm, approving gazes…
“Th-that’s…”
This time, it was Victoria whose ears flushed bright red, completely at a loss.
…Oh-ho. I cheered inwardly. So she was the one who always got the upper hand—until now. The moment I pushed back, she was the one thrown off balance. I should have done this from the start. Since things had come to this, I might as well go all the way.
“Come, darling. Since we’re already out, let’s shop together. I’ll show you my skills properly tonight.”
“…Y-your skills?”
“That’s right. Tonight’s dinner will be Boeuf Bourguignon.”
“…Boe-what?”
Victoria blinked at the unfamiliar name. Of course she would—it didn’t exist in this world. It was a dish from my past life… from Earth.
“It’s a dish where you slowly braise beef in red wine for a long time. It may look rustic, but one bite and that deep, rich flavor will leave you utterly captivated.”
As I explained, I felt my own heart begin to race with excitement.
…Come to think of it, how long had it been since I’d properly held a knife? This was a rare chance to show off my skills after all that stifling palace life.
“Right, then. Let’s head to the butcher first.”
Before I knew it, I was striding toward the meat stall, all thoughts of escape forgotten.
“Good meat is half the battle in cooking. You want a cut that’s neither too fatty nor too lean, with just the right amount of sinew. That way the flavor really comes through after a long simmer.”
“……”
“The vegetables need to be fresh too. Onions, carrots, and… ah, those mushrooms look excellent. But above all, the wine is crucial…”
Chattering away excitedly as I picked out ingredients, I suddenly realized how quiet it was beside me.
“…Darling?”
I turned my head to find Victoria staring up at me with a dazed expression. Her crimson eyes, usually filled with mischief or arrogance, now held something else entirely—something unreadable and quietly stirring.
…What was that look?
“…What’s wrong? Do I have something on my face?”
“…Ah, no.”
“…No?”
I raised an eyebrow deliberately, then spoke even more affectionately, loud enough for everyone nearby to hear.
“Heh, darling. What do you mean by ‘no’? People will think we’re a cold couple if you keep that up.”
“…!”
Victoria’s face turned crimson in an instant. That was the trick she always used on me—calling me “darling” to fluster me. Now it was my turn to return the favor.
“Well? Say it again… darling.”
“Th-that’s… I…”
“Come now, a new bride shouldn’t be so shy.”
Victoria bit her lip in frustration, clearly torn, before finally managing in a voice barely louder than a whisper.
“N-no, I’m not. Darling…”
She had actually said it.
“Pfft.”
I barely swallowed the laugh that threatened to escape.
…Well, well. Look at that. The princess who loved to tease me was now the one squirming. It felt like years of pent-up frustration had finally been released.
‘See? How does it feel to be on the receiving end?’
I smiled inwardly in triumph. For once, it felt like I’d won a round against this mad princess.
And so, side by side with the very person I should have been fleeing, I wandered the market alleys looking every bit the picture of a blissfully happy newlywed couple—completely unaware of just how precarious that harmony truly was.
= = = = =
…I lost.
Victoria stared at Kyle, who was cheerfully selecting ingredients beside her, her mind reeling in shock. What in the world had just happened?
She had been the one to start this “darling” game, intending to toy with him. Yet somehow, the tables had turned, and now she was the one being forced to say it—her ears burning as she whispered “N-no, I’m not, darling” in that tiny voice.
This body… the great Victoria von Roseria… had been toyed with by a mere man like some lovesick maiden.
‘…What an utter humiliation…’
Her fists trembled. Before her regression, this body had stood above the entire continent. Hadn’t emperors knelt before the Crimson-Eyed Empress? And yet here she was, crumbling helplessly at the playful words of a single man.
‘…This won’t do. I can’t let it end like this.’
Victoria clenched her teeth with grim determination. She would repay this defeat without fail. She would make that smug face turn just as red as hers had.
‘…Very well. Just you wait.’
She decided to launch an immediate counterattack. This was the perfect moment—his attention was completely absorbed by choosing mushrooms.
She would gather every ounce of her charm and deliver a single, devastating blow he wouldn’t be able to resist.
“…D-darling.”
Victoria squeezed his arm gently, her voice as seductive as she could make it.
“S-so… tonight, just the two of us, intimately… um…”
But then—
“Hm? What is it, darling?”
Kyle turned his head without a care. The moment their faces drew close and their eyes met—
‘…!!’
Victoria’s mind went completely blank.
No. She had been the one about to attack. So why was her heart suddenly pounding like mad? The seductive lines she had prepared, the devastating blow she had planned—everything evaporated the instant she met those gentle eyes.
“…I-it’s… tonight is… um… uh…”
…Oh no. What was this body even saying? Where had all that determination to tease him gone? All that came out of her mouth were incoherent mumbles. Her cheeks burned as if they might burst, and her heart threatened to leap out of her chest.
“…Darling? Are you feeling unwell? Your face is quite red.”
The moment Kyle reached out, looking concerned, to touch her forehead—
“…!!”
Victoria flinched and took a step back.
“D-don’t touch me! …I mean, please don’t!”
“…?”
“…Hmph!”
Victoria whipped her head away, her face scarlet. She couldn’t bear to look at him any longer. One more glance and her heart really might explode.
‘…You… you scoundrel…’
Victoria ground her teeth inwardly.
…Kyle Lowenheim. Why was it that in both this life and the last, he toyed with a woman’s heart so effortlessly? Making this body’s chest flutter like this, only to act as if he had no idea—casually fiddling with mushrooms with that innocent expression.
‘Truly… what a terrible man…’
She was furious, embarrassed, and yet… strangely, she couldn’t bring herself to hate him. Far from it—the sight of his calm profile only made her heart ache with affection.
‘…No. Get ahold of yourself, Victoria.’
Victoria shook her head vigorously. Today had been a complete and utter defeat. There was no denying it. But next time… next time, she would make that smooth-talking man squirm helplessly in the palm of her hand.
‘Without fail… next time…’
Even as she made that vow, Victoria found herself unable to leave his side. Instead, she quietly placed her hand back on his arm.
…Well, revenge was revenge… but for now, she just wanted to enjoy this sweet “newlywed game” a little longer.
“…Darling? Why did you suddenly go quiet again?”
Kyle tilted his head, puzzled.
“…You were jumping around just a moment ago. Are you feeling unwell?”
“…Hmph.”
Victoria shot him a sharp, haughty glare.
“It’s nothing. I was merely momentarily stunned by your sheer density.”
“…Huh? Density? What do you—”
“Enough. Just lead the way already.”
And so, today’s match ended in a flawless victory for no one but Victoria von Roseria’s complete and total defeat.
Of course, Kyle Lowenheim himself remained blissfully unaware that he had won anything at all.