Both, I Shall Have
The words were cut off with a single sharp command.
“It’s fine, Your Highness. I can manage on my own—”
“Be silent.”
My polite refusal was sliced away in an instant. Victoria stubbornly draped my arm over her shoulder and supported me as she led us out of the Banquet Hall. The empire’s own princess, bearing the full weight of a blood-soaked imperial guard on her slender frame.
…This is incredibly awkward.
“Your Highness. Truly, I can walk by myself—”
“Sir Rowenheim.”
“…Yes.”
“If you refuse once more, I will carry you on my back.”
“……”
…Understood. I’ll stay quiet.
I closed my mouth. The vice-commander of the imperial guard being piggybacked by the princess? That was… a bit much. Actually, a lot much.
And so we walked slowly down the dark corridor. One step at a time. Matching her pace, moving at a leisurely rhythm.
…But something felt wrong.
At first it was just a dull ache. After rolling around with a horde of monsters, that much was to be expected. Yet the farther we moved from the Banquet Hall, the heavier that ache grew. My legs began to buckle. My vision blurred and wavered. The wound in my side—the spot where the manticore’s venomous stinger had pierced me—throbbed violently, burning as if set on fire.
…Strange. When I finished the subjugation and rode back, it hadn’t been this bad.
It seemed that once the tension finally broke, everything I’d been holding back came rushing in at once.
‘…The poison must have spread deeper than I thought.’
Only then did a sense of real danger begin to creep over me. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to make a truly pathetic sight.
“Sir Rowenheim.”
At that moment, Victoria spoke in a low voice.
“Are you truly walking with a clear mind? You keep… leaning on me more and more.”
“…My apologies.”
I hurriedly tried to pull away. But in that instant my legs gave out completely, and I ended up leaning on her even more heavily.
“……”
“……”
…This is the worst.
The scent of roses flooded my nose. The warmth of her body, supporting me, seeped into my side.
…And yet.
Suddenly, one question flashed through my mind.
…Why is this woman going this far?
Think about it. This is the same woman who once tried to poison me. In the original story, she would soon offer me a bowl of poisoned food with that gentle smile of hers. Yet here she is, ignoring how heavily I’m weighing down her shoulder, personally supporting a wreck like me. Carefully matching every single step so I wouldn’t collapse.
‘…Is this another trap?’
A chill ran down my spine.
‘Lulling me into a false sense of security, then striking when my guard is down… No, wait. That doesn’t make sense. Why would she put in this much effort just to lower my defenses…?’
…My head wasn’t working properly. I tried to follow the thought, but my consciousness kept flickering. I didn’t even have the strength left to think deeply. Suspicion and vigilance were luxuries my crumbling body could no longer afford.
…All I could feel was the warmth of her shoulder beneath my arm.
Ever since I fell into this imperial palace, I had always been alone. Plotting my escape, watching every corner, trusting no one. I had endured it all while remaining constantly on edge.
But now… someone was bearing my weight for me. It felt… strangely nice to lean on her.
‘…What the hell am I thinking?’
I shook my head, trying to pull my fading mind back together. Get a grip, Kyle. That woman is going to kill you. Don’t fall for this warmth. Absolutely not—
“We’re almost there. Just a little farther.”
Her voice reached my ear. Strangely, it held none of her usual arrogance. Only gentleness and concern.
…Ah, I’m done for. This really is the limit.
The moment the door to my quarters opened and the bed came into view—
The last thread that had been holding me upright snapped with a quiet pop.
“Sir Rowenheim?! Kyle—!”
Her urgent voice grew distant. And I sank straight into darkness.
Kyle collapsed in her arms without warning.
Victoria hurriedly caught him, nearly embracing him, and laid him gently on the bed. Only then, beneath the lantern light, did she truly see the state of his body.
“……”
Her breath caught in her throat.
It was horrific. The body revealed between the torn armor had almost no unmarred skin left. A deep gash in his side still oozed dark red blood. Claw marks from beasts scored his shoulders and back in vivid lines. His ankle looked as if something had bitten a chunk of flesh away, and every wound that hadn’t yet healed was spreading with a murky, poisonous haze.
…So this was what he had called “safe.”
In the Banquet Hall, he had walked in on his own two feet. He had crushed Octavian beneath his heel and asked her, in an almost joking tone, if he was late. Because of that, Victoria had assumed his injuries were minor.
She had been wrong.
This man had walked the razor’s edge of death. With a body in this condition, he had never once screamed. He had swallowed all that terrible pain… and the first thing he had done was make sure she was unharmed.
“How… with a body like this…”
Victoria’s voice trembled faintly.
Why? Just why would he go this far?
Monsters on the border—if he had truly wanted to, he could have taken several days, subjugated them slowly, and returned without a single scratch. Yet this man had done no such thing. What had been so urgent that he had run himself ragged in a single day, not caring if his body shattered?
…As if he were someone desperately trying to protect something. Someone.
Thump.
A corner of her heart sank with a dull ache.
With trembling hands, Victoria examined his wounds. As a princess, she had never done anything like this herself. It had always been left to the servants. But right now, she didn’t want anyone else’s hands touching him.
She fetched clean water and tore cloth into bandages. She wiped away the crusted blood and carefully disinfected the open wounds. Her touch was clumsy. Her hands shook again and again, and every time he let out a groan, her heart plummeted.
…And all the while, memories from that day kept overlapping.
Before the regression. The night she had fed him poison with these very hands. The horrible night she had dissolved a single insidious drop into a warm bowl of food and put him to sleep without him suspecting a thing.
“I’m sorry.”
Victoria gazed down at his sleeping face and whispered softly.
“I’m sorry, Kyle… Both then, and now…”
Every time she wiped away the blood he had shed, every time she wrapped bandages around his wounds, something hot rose from deep within her chest until her eyes stung with unshed tears.
By the time she finally finished the emergency treatment, Kyle had fallen into a deep sleep. It was the kind of utterly still, death-like slumber that comes only after a desperate battle, when every last bit of tension is finally released. His peaceful expression was completely different from the fierce one he had worn in the Banquet Hall. He simply looked like an endlessly exhausted man.
Victoria sat beside his bed. She gently took the hand that had slipped out from beneath the blanket and held it between both of hers. The hand that had gripped a sword all its life. The warm hand that, just days ago, had clumsily deboned chicken for her.
…Kyle Rowenheim.
Suddenly, the name of his family came to mind. In the ancient tongue, House of the Lion—a martial house that had guarded the emperor’s side for generations. A family that had engraved a lion upon their crest and served as the imperial family’s unwavering shield for hundreds of years.
…And the last lion of that house was this very man. A man whose bloodline carried the destiny of protecting the imperial family. The stubborn lion who had rushed to save a single princess without hesitation, even if it meant breaking his own body.
“……”
Victoria remained lost in thought for a long time, still holding his hand.
…Isn’t it ironic?
The lion that had protected the imperial family for generations—she had cut him down with her own hands in her previous life. The empire’s most loyal shield had been broken first by none other than the princess herself.
…That was why she had decided. She would abandon the throne. Rather than covet that empty seat again, she would protect this man instead. She had believed that was the way to save him.
…But today, in that Banquet Hall, hadn’t she seen it clearly? What happened to the powerless in this palace. Sitting before an empty plate, becoming the laughingstock of everyone. Being pelted with food like an animal, forced to kneel and beg. That utter misery.
That was the fate of those who relinquished power.
Victoria realized it once more. This palace, this world of power, would never allow anyone to simply step back gracefully. The moment she abandoned the throne, she would become nothing more than a lowly-born princess. And then someone like Octavian would ascend. On that day… both she and this man would become thorns in the new emperor’s side and eventually be removed in silence. Just as she herself had done to him in her previous life.
When her thoughts reached that point, Victoria’s eyes grew coldly still.
…In the first place, who was the one who had pushed this man to the border? Who had sent the Emperor’s Sword alone into a deadly land crawling with manticores…? None other than Octavian. To keep Kyle far away so he could trample her in the meantime.
Victoria’s gaze fell on Kyle’s sleeping, scar-riddled body. Torn flesh. Darkly spreading poison. Blood-stained bandages.
…All of these horrific wounds were the result of her brother’s schemes.
It was truly strange. Even when she had been trampled in front of everyone in the Banquet Hall, she had clenched her teeth and endured. The empty plate, the shattered bowl, the mockery—she could bear it all.
But seeing this man’s wounds… her chest ached so badly she could hardly stand it. The humiliation she had suffered hurt less than a single drop of blood he had shed. How dare they. How dare they do this to her man…
“Octavian.”
Just speaking the name sent a chill of murderous intent leaking between her teeth.
…Yes. There was no longer any reason to hesitate.
Victoria gripped his sleeping hand even tighter, as if trying to pour all her warmth into him.
…In that moment, she sensed that a spark which had nearly died in her chest was once again catching flame. But it was not the same fire that had burned the entire world to ash in her previous life. It was not that cold flame that consumed everything it touched only to leave behind emptiness.
…It was hotter. Stronger. And kinder… the dying embers of someone who now had something to protect.
…Yes. She had finally made up her mind.
She would not give up the emperor’s throne. Nor would she give up him. The idea of abandoning the throne to protect him had been wrong. The past choice of abandoning him for the throne had also been wrong.
Both had been mistakes.
From now on, she would let go of neither.
“…Both. I shall have them both.”
The quiet words fell gently into the silent room.
The throne and you… I will seize them both with my own hands. I will rise to the very peak of this cruel world so that no one will ever be able to touch you again.
Even if that is the most arrogant greed in all the world.
Victoria gently stroked his injured cheek. The sleeping face stained with blood and dirt. Then she softly pressed her forehead to the back of his wounded hand. As if making a vow.
“Never again.”
In a voice more tender than ever before, and more terrifying than ever before, the woman who would one day shake the continent whispered while holding the sleeping hand of the man she loved.
“Never again will I allow you to suffer like this……”
──I swear it.