Chapter 72
Chapter 72
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 72
Chapter Title: The Warrior Meets the Doll
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Kairel, who had successfully escaped from the blue-haired slaughter doll, explained everything that had happened to Ballack and the others.
"So... you ran into that doll we met in the ruined mansion way back when?"
"Y-Yes, that's right."
"Hmm, dungeon bosses fighting each other? That's a first."
"Brother Ballack, to be fair, the youngest attacked Sofia and me the moment we met."
"That's a shameful past..."
That was because he'd gotten clocked from behind by the blue-haired doll back in the day, so he deserved some leniency.
But seriously, why was this doll so aggressive?
Could it be made as a combat weapon, like Anima?
"Skeleton Merchant, you've got expertise in puppetry. What do you make of it?"
"Honestly, without checking her internal data, even I can't say for sure. But..."
"There's something bothering you."
"Exactly. That blue-haired doll left her designated spot to chase after you, Kairel. That means she has an ego, just like Anima does now."
"She thinks and moves on her own... So she's a doll created with grand magic, like Anima?"
"Anima used grand magic to form a perfect ego in record time."
That's how Anima ended up with a flawless sense of self.
He added that with enough time and resources, you could craft a doll with an ego too.
"Anyway, since that doll's got an ego, she's barreling through the boss rush to get here."
"Spot on. And she saw you use the ring, Kairel, so she'll be here in no time flat."
"Oh ho, is that so?"
Dampir looked exasperated at my obvious intrigue.
"You're not worried about this doll coming here?"
"Oh dear. Kairel, you've seen Brother Ballack's power firsthand, and you're still fretting?"
"Total waste of worry, Dampir. All I can picture is her getting smashed to bits by big bro."
Dampir finally got it after hearing from his brothers. But something still bugged me.
"Why'd you lose to her, Dampir?"
"Brother, what do you mean?"
"You're the third boss from my position in the rush. How'd you lose to one ahead of you?"
Let me double-check the boss rush order!
Some unknown dungeon entrance → tons of bosses → Doll → Dampir → Orek → Ferguson → Me.
That's the sequence.
Now, think back to when I first met my two little brothers.
They were weak as hell then, but after training together, they're on a whole new level.
So if the rush order is by potential...
It takes forever to get from the first dungeon to here.
By the time individual powers fully develop, it's near-perfect level scaling.
But Dampir lost to that doll?
Hold up... could it be...?
"Dampir."
"Y-Yes?!"
"It's been a year since you got trapped in here. What've you been up to?"
"Uh..."
Dampir pondered, then averted his eyes.
Bingo!
"You've been slacking!"
"Ah, so Kairel slacked off the whole past year too?"
"No self-respecting adventurer skips training, Dampir."
"Th-That's─!"
Let's hypothesize that Dampir has slightly more potential and raw power than that doll.
But he wasted the last year goofing off?
Of course the power gap flipped.
Tsk tsk tsk...
No wonder the world-managing AIs have it rough.
They gotta account for every edge case, or their heads would explode.
That's probably why they made a straight shot to my dungeon—to bypass this crap.
Stuck here, you don't feel hunger, sleepiness, or bathroom urges, so time drags on forever.
Dampir doing nothing...
"Wait, no. Without those urges, maybe that's why he did zilch."
"Like Brother Ballack says, I kinda get where Kairel's coming from. No external stimuli, no needs at all—it just bred helplessness for me."
"Yeah, not everyone's a constant grinder."
People are all different, right?
Dampir's dungeon theme is a cave, too.
Stuck in that gloomy, dark hole? Perfect recipe for depression.
"So the last year of nothing? Not your fault, Dampir."
"Brother Ballack..."
As I cheered up the moping Dampir and brainstormed countermeasures for the doll...
Our own doll son stepped up, offering to talk her down.
"Son, you wanna try bonding over shared experiences?"
"No reason for Father or my uncles to fight her. If she won't listen and charges anyway, I'll end her myself."
"You're only two days old—don't push it. And we've got the Skeleton Merchant, puppetry expert!"
With all these capable folks in my dungeon, we'll sort it out!
They say speak of the tiger and it appears—turns out it's true.
A weird energy surged in the boss room.
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Sure enough, riding that energy came the blue-haired doll.
Piiiing!
Thud.
"Just like the youngest said—modeled after a human woman."
"Tell me about it, bro. But what's that weapon?"
"Ch-chainsaws?!"
Dual-wielding chainsaws, no less?!
Did her creator even know what romance is?!
But this wasn't the time for admiration.
I approached her first, nice and safe.
"Two flesh objects from prior detection located. Hidden portal hypothesis confirmed."
"Huh, the Skeleton Merchant was right—she really has an ego."
"Learning phase complete for this unit. Flesh objects fleeing now meaningless. Time to obediently cap... ture...?"
She froze.
Hm? The moment she looked at me, the doll halted.
And then—
Pop!
"Her right eye just exploded?!"
"Em-Mer-Gency! Combat power of lead target unreadable!! Bee-saaang!!"
No way—was her right eye a scouter from that famous old manga?
Anyway, the doll started creaking freakishly, assessing nonstop.
"Win probability in combat: zero. No exploitable weaknesses. Mana depletion irrelevant... Target classified as demon per archives. Racial weaknesses irrelevant... Ar- armor quality unassessable. Unknown artisan. Mana barrier shielding target confirmed. Breaching im... poss..."
"Brother Ballack, she seems insanely good at self-assessing."
"Yeah."
Self-awareness off the charts.
Dungeon boss material for sure?
Then a bizarre energy flowed from the doll.
"A magic artifact?"
"Looks like one to me."
"Skeleton Merchant, what function you reckon?"
"Judging by the mana pattern, she's reading this place's history."
"That's psychometry!"
"You could call it that. Fascinating, though. A top-tier magic artifact embedded in her..."
Our opinion of her skyrocketed.
Then, maybe done evaluating us, she snapped to attention.
Next, she slammed her head to the ground, legs shooting straight up?!
No way!
"This unit committed grave rudeness in speech and action. Thus, I prostrate before the noble lord of this dungeon in deepest apology."
"Oh ho, she knows grand prostration. Polite one, this doll."
"How'd she even learn that...?"
"Kairel, she read the history here. Probably saw you apologize to Orek back then."
Lightning-fast situational awareness. She's sharp.
But wrong target for apologies.
"I'll forgive you, but apologize properly to the youngest and Dampir—you attacked them before."
"Acknowledged. To the two of you: if you graciously forgive this unit's past rudeness and irreverence, it would be the greatest honor."
""Uh...""
She grand-prostrated to them just like to me.
They looked a bit dumbfounded, but a sincere apology probably left them awkward.
"Father, glad it worked out."
"Yeah, me too, son."
Dodged smashing a talented doll there.
But why's she staring at Anima?
Son locked eyes with her, curious too.
She jerked oddly, then yelled.
"Su-Super hottie!!"
""".........?"""
Total confusion.
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No way the reason she stared at my son was...
"Prime data. Warm yet fierce warrior's heart. Embedded magic artifacts. Incomprehensibly tough exoskeleton. Artistic form utterly unlike this unit. Anima-sama is, without doubt, an incredible hottie."
"So, doll—you see yourself as female?"
"Father, this world runs on political correctness. Gender identity is self-determined."
Damn, she psychometrized PC ideology already.
And calling me Father?
"You..."
"Yes, Father. Will you permit my courtship of Anima-sama?"
Everyone speechless as she straight-up confessed in front of us all.
Gotta answer, though.
"Love's not for parents to decide. Ask my son yourself."
"Already settled with Husband."
"Father, she has a tragic past."
"Wh-What?!"
"Ah, Brother Ballack. Looks like the dolls data-swapped. A split second for us was dozens of hours for them."
H-How far did they get that she's calling him husband?!
That explains why she's talking more human now than at first.
They're dating now? Great news—
"Anima's leaving tomorrow, though?"
"No issue, Father. We transcend flesh... er, organic intellects."
"Indeed, Father. As long as data links aren't severed, we're always connected. So, Uncle Skeleton—could you embed a recording magic artifact in my wife?"
"Already wife material?"
"Th-That's fast. Dual wide-range recorders mean constant chatting."
Kids these days move at warp speed.
No clue how long their "date" was.
No reason to block my kid's love.
Guess I got a daughter-in-law outta nowhere...
Eh, it'll work out!
Dungeon family's growing—big win!