Chapter 65
Chapter 65
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 65
Chapter Title: Side Story: The Prank-loving Saintess
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Around the time when the contradictory situation of a world both cold and warm was unfolding.
An immense fervor was sweeping through the Papal Court as well.
BAM!!
"Is that even remotely reasonable?!"
"P-Please calm down."
"No, I understand wanting to save the Saint, but this...!"
"Cardinal Alte, aren't you overreacting a bit?"
"I agree. This is an elixir—one with side effects, no less. But if the price for the Saint awakening again is merely a 'gender change,' then I believe we must use it."
"Merely? Did you just say 'merely'?"
"I concur with Cardinal Alte. This is an insult to the Saint!"
Thus, the cardinals from every region had gathered, engaging in a fierce debate over whether to administer the Gender Swap Potion brought by the bunny gongdus to the slumbering Saint.
Most of the cardinals were elderly gentlemen with deeply conservative mindsets, so their shock at the sight of the TS Potion was, in a way, only natural.
To think they would change the gender of the great Saint they had revered... with their own hands!
As a result, the Papal Court divided into the faction insisting "We must turn the Saint into a Saintess" and the opposition crying "Do not defile the Saint," arguing fiercely for over a week.
The debate hall soon descended into near-mutual cursing.
But at last, the Pope, having organized his thoughts, quietly rose from his seat.
"I have heard all of you well."
"Your Holiness Sigmund...?"
"The Saint sacrificed everything for the world at a very young age. As a result, he became a body that cannot even die, unable to return to the Celestial God's embrace."
Pope Sigmund closed his eyes, steadied his breath, and continued in a calm voice.
"Yet now, in our hands, we hold a heaven-sent blessing: the elixir. A miraculous substance that restores life and revives the soul."
"Your Holiness, surely you don't mean..."
"Indeed. I believe we must use that miracle for the Saint."
At that moment, murmurs arose among the opposition cardinals.
Some were shocked, some hesitated, and others whispered that it was blasphemy.
But the Pope lifted his head without wavering under any gaze.
"Among the Celestial God's teachings is the verse 'Return what you have received.' Had the Saint not sacrificed himself, none of us here—not I, not you—would exist, nor would the countless lives in this world breathing upon the foundation of that sacrifice."
"""......"""
"Thus, our path is clear. We must grant the Saint a second life. And even if that life is imperfect, we shall support and guide him together."
With the Pope's heartfelt persuasion, the cardinals' hearts began to sway little by little.
Hoping this mysterious potion would fulfill its role, the Pope and cardinals set foot toward the deepest chamber of the Papal Court, where the Saint lay slumbering.
There, the Saint—cursed by some alien entity—lay upon a bed.
Due to the curse, his body and the soul bound to it were disintegrating, but the Celestial God was holding it at bay, leaving him in a state akin to an otherworldly undead.
In the world he had protected at the cost of his life, even death was now denied to him.
Thus, the one who had been closest to the gods had become the farthest from them, and the Pope prayed to the Celestial God.
"Mother of radiant light who illuminates all, please bestow your blessing upon the most pitiable one."
Soon, the liquid from the vial entered the undead's mouth, and his body began to shine brilliantly.
It was as if stars were being born in the darkness.
"Saint, your life is not yet over. No—truly, it begins now."
Pope Sigmund could only hope the Saint would live a happy life.
***************
The morning after administering the potion to the Saint.
The being, now fully restored to human form, had been placed in one of the Papal Court's rooms.
Just as the nuns were about to attend to him without disturbing his rest—
Twitch.
""...?""
The being's finger moved.
Even after forty long years of slumber, his face twitched as if he were awakening!
"C-Could it be, the Saint?!"
"Quickly, fetch His Holiness the Pope—"
The nuns facing this situation made a huge fuss, shouting loudly.
And in proportion to their clamor, the being's consciousness surged upward.
What's more!
"Ugh... so noisy..."
"""Gasp?!"""
A cute, adorable girl's petulant voice filled the room.
As the nuns slowly turned their heads toward the bed where the being lay—
Crumple...
With the sound of the sheets wrinkling, a girl slowly raised her upper body.
Still half-asleep, she rubbed her eyes faintly; her appearance was delicate and transparent, like finely crafted glass.
The dimly lit room, bereft of almost all light, was suddenly bathed in a soft glow with her movement.
Soon, soft platinum hair cascaded down, wrapping her shoulders like silver threads mimicking morning sunlight.
Between those strands gleamed eyes as clear and blue as a lake.
When those eyes met the nuns', a chill seemed to spread through the room.
Yet amid that impossibly sacred aura, the girl's expression melted into softness in an instant, her small mouth opening to let out a drowsy whine.
"Ugh... hungry..."
At once, as if time had frozen, the nuns in the room stiffened.
Seeing this, the girl blankly looked around, tilting her head, then glanced at her own hand—and at her soft chest.
"Eh?"
With a cute exclamation, her eyes widened like saucers as she wobbled in confusion.
Only then did one of the nuns cry out.
"Th-The... Saintess!"
"You're calling me a Saintess...?"
"Please forgive our offense!!"
"What... h-how did this happen? I was definitely..."
And so, the Saint—returned from the curse... no, now the Saintess—faced her new life.
***************
Excluding the fact that the slumbering Saint in the Papal Court had become a woman, the announcement that he had awakened—and was fully cured—rocked the world.
"To think an elixir capable of curing all ailments truly existed..."
"It's a miracle from the gods!"
Amid the uproar among humans and other races alike, one being was hit the hardest.
The hero who had partied with the Saint—now Saintess—during the Great War... the Empire's Gokseo, Beren!!
"M-My god!!! That guy's alive?!"
Beren, who had been captured by the Empire's Empress, shook off the pursuing Imperial Guard while heading to Laiter in hiding.
But unable to contain his joy at his comrade's return, he unleashed overwhelming magic regardless of exposure and raced to the Papal Court.
BOOM!!!
"Wh-What is that?! That explosion?"
"There's a person in the sky?!"
"My lord!! We've spotted Gokseo Beren!!!"
"Move, move!!"
His position exposed, but unconcerned, Beren caused a massive commotion upon arriving near the Papal Court and hurried inside.
Yet upon arrival, the Papal Court was in far greater chaos than expected.
Clerics were rushing everywhere—what on earth was happening?
Had he caused it by infiltrating?
No, he was concealed by magic; only cardinal-level could detect him.
Or an attack?
No, it was too quiet around, and the Imperial Guard wouldn't arrive in time.
Cautiously surveying the interior, Beren felt a gaze from somewhere.
Slowly turning toward it, he saw a small girl in black nun's robes peeking from behind a pillar at the end of the corridor—platinum hair swaying, large blue eyes, face like she hadn't fully woken up.
She, too, was hidden by some power like Beren's, and upon eye contact, froze in surprise and bewilderment.
But as if struck by a fun idea, she beckoned him over with a smirk.
Of course, Beren ignored the girl and tried to proceed.
"If you don't come here, I'll scream that there's an intruder in the Papal Court."
"Damn... whatever you are, you can see me, huh."
"Eh...? Doesn't Lord Beren recognize me?"
"Huh? Do you... know me?"
The conversation veered oddly off-track, leaving the girl stunned for a moment, but she soon realized.
Not only had her gender change not been announced,
But the Beren before her—the dullest of her party members, oblivious even to fervent courtship—was clueless!
Encountering her oblivious old comrade, the girl deemed the situation even more amusing and led Beren to a secret hideout she had once prepared in the Papal Court.
Nostalgia overwhelming him, Beren showed a wistful expression.
"This place..."
"Does Lord Beren know it?"
"Yeah, my childhood friend once invited me here. That guy, a cleric, yet such a drinker..."
"Ah, did you drink here with him too, Lord Beren?"
"Hahaha, all memories now, memories. Keep it secret, though."
"I wouldn't want to lose this hard-found hideout either, so no worries. But how old are those memories?"
"Why do you ask?"
"It was a total mess when I first came here."
"No surprise... It's been over forty years since that guy fell asleep."
"F-Forty years?!"
Having escaped after asking around to no avail, the girl finally got the info she wanted!
Her comrade, unaged after forty years, fascinated her too.
"How did you not age a bit in all that time?"
"W-Well, it's complicated, but thanks to my wife."
"Your wife?!"
"Why so surprised? If you know my name, you know I'm the Empire's Gokseo."
No way this dense idiot succeeded in marriage?!
And as Gokseo now, he must've ended up with that imperial princess swordswoman from the party.
But why was this childhood friend, who should be in the palace, here?
—As she pondered, the girl kept dropping hints about herself.
"By any chance, did Lord Beren come here for the recently awakened Saint?"
"Yeah, the owner of this place."
"Ha ha ha. So I found the hidden spot."
"Exactly. If Papal Court life gets too stuffy, come relax here. What's your name, anyway?"
"I'm Lumien!"
"Oh, pretty name."
"That's all?"
"Hm...? Is there more?"
Afterward, she gave "Lumien" as a slight tweak on her real name "Lumian."
Even when blatantly obvious, his ironclad denial made her stare at her cancer-inducing childhood friend, marveling—not marveling—at his unchanged denseness after forty years.
His obliging nature in answering everything was intact too.
Having gotten all desired info, the girl pondered how to reveal herself for maximum fun—when
BOOM!!!
The hideout entrance exploded, dust billowing.
"Haa... Hearing from the palace that Beren might come here, I doubted, but here you are."
"Th-The Pope?!"
"Could you come out of that storeroom first? Lord Hero."
"Just me?"
"Yes?"
Sensing something off, Beren stepped forward protectively, the girl trailing behind.
Soon, before the storeroom stood Pope Sigmund, the Imperial Guard, and Holy Knights arrayed in force. Beren sighed deeply.
"I didn't expect even you, Your Holiness, to come capture me."
"Hohoho, actually, I just made a little deal with Her Majesty the Empress."
"A deal?"
"If I cooperated in capturing Hero Beren here, she'd provide major funding for Papal Court orphanages and schools, plus aid for extreme poverty relief."
"Th-That can't be!"
Facing the Pope kneeling to the Empress's devilish deal, Beren despaired.
But with one goal, he pressed on.
"Then, Your Holiness, at least let me see Lumian."
"Th-That..."
"I came here for Lumian in the first place. Please."
The Pope panicked at Beren's plea.
No, their choice had revived his comrade at the cost of gender—meeting immediately was awkward!
As Pope Sigmund dithered with guilt, Imperial Guard Captain Noir stepped forward with a magic device, got permissions from the Pope, and activated it.
It was a communication video magic tool, and soon—
[ You thereeeee!!! ]
His furious runaway-wife wife howled at him from the device.
"Eh, Eileen?!"
[ You! Return to the palace at once! ]
Facing his enraged wife, Beren floundered.
The girl Lumien watching from behind noted her childhood friend's marriage seemed tough.
Memories of the swordswoman Eileen—her old party mate's antics—flooded back.
'Lumian, how do I date Beren?'
'Lumian, what's Beren's type?'
'Lumian, help me out a sec?'
'Lu...'
'Lu...'
Ah, yes!
She'd suffered endlessly from that Empress's romance schemes!
Now, the perfect way to mess with both the Empress and her cancer-friend dawned on Lumien, who released her divine concealment.
"Eh, wha—?! Th-Saint—"
[ That girl who appeared out of nowhere— ]
As Pope and Empress panicked, Lumien yanked Beren's left arm and clung, yelling loudly.
"Eeeek! That 'auntie' is so scary! Big bro Beren!!!"
Big bro~~~
Big bro~
Bi...
...
"""............"""
A silence fit for the cold winter dragged on.
Soon, Pope Sigmund—who knew Lumien's true nature well—clutched his neck.
The Empress's face blanked, the Imperial Guard turned to stone.
Finally, beside sweat-drenched hero Beren, Lumien spoke.
"Hey~ Long time no see, Beren. You gotta pay for not recognizing me despite all the hints, right?"
"That tone... n-no way!?"
"Hehe. Yep, it's me, Lumian—or Lumien now? Anyway, let's play like old times, friend."
Beren blanked momentarily at his friend becoming a cute girl but snapped to with a forehead slap upon understanding.
Thus, the hero and Saintess fled, dodging the tearful attacks of the Imperial Guard under the rampaging Empress's orders.
The Saintess, dopamine surging from the sheer fun.
The prank-loving Lumien.