Side Story: Nightmare, Reality
The doctor in front of me mentioned a disease I'd never heard of before: CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome). In Korean, it's called complex regional pain syndrome. It's a rare, intractable illness that typically arises inexplicably after trauma, with no perfect cure available yet. My little sister had contracted this disease. The wound on her thigh had apparently been there for a while—it wasn't in the early stages anymore; it had progressed further. The symptoms included intermittent burning pain like being slashed with a knife or cleaved by an axe, or the sensation of being electrocuted. The agony could thicken the skin, coarsen the bones, or cause swelling. No one knew how the pain started or how to make it stop, leaving sufferers to endure unbearable torment without reason, often leading to depression.
Ye-rim, somewhat calmed now, began to weep as she gazed at Ye-won, who had finally drifted into a peaceful sleep, free of the screams from moments ago. She didn't make a sound. It was obvious how devastating it would be if her barely sleeping sister woke up because of her and felt that pain again.
"Hic... sniff..."
Ye-rim wept silently beside Ye-won for a long while, tears streaming down her face. She gently clasped Ye-won's paper-thin hand, sobbing and sobbing again.
Ye-rim lived on without her usual vibrant energy for some time. But she knew showing this side of herself would only worry those around her, so in front of others, she put on the relaxed, lively facade she always had. Whenever she chatted with friends, went out for fun, or studied, thoughts of Ye-won flooded her mind.
'Is college life manageable?'
While she was living this ordinary college life, her sister lay helpless in the hospital, drowning in sorrow. After that, Ye-rim took a leave of absence and dove into studying medicine—something she'd never touched before. She was attending one of Seoul's top universities; maybe, just maybe, if she learned enough, she could one day save her sister. The girl clung to that vague hope.
Microbiology, pathology, physiology, biochemistry, pharmacology, preventive medicine, anatomy. Internal medicine, surgery. Medicine was far more complex and profound than the girl had imagined. She realized that no matter how much she studied, she couldn't help treat the intractable rare disease that even the doctors at the hospital, who were fighting to save her sister, couldn't cure.
The girl despaired. She waited.
"Hwaaaaaah!!!"
Every time her little sister's screams echoed, it felt like knives stabbing Ye-rim's own heart. All she could do was pray. Even plugging her ears to block out the cries didn't work—the sound slipped through effortlessly, tormenting her even more.
"P-Please... make it... stop... please..."
The times when her sister could stay conscious without pain were rare even within a single day. Ye-rim hurried to her side after days without hearing her voice. Entering the room, she was horrified to see Ye-won's left thigh swollen red and puffy.
"Ye... Ye-won-ah..."
"Sis...ter...?"
Ye-won's eyes were slightly glazed from the narcotic painkillers. She turned her head toward Ye-rim and managed a faint smile.
"Sis...ter..."
Ye-rim sat on the chair to her right, eyes brimming with tears. She reached to overlay her hand on her sister's but hesitated.
"...C-Can I hold your hand...?"
Ye-won shook her head weakly, forcing another smile.
"They said... no stimulating the skin... Even if it was just avoiding the injured area before... but mine's past the early stage..."
Hearing her sister's hoarse voice, raw from screaming, Ye-rim quietly shed tears.
"...Does it... hic... hurt a lot...?"
Ye-won beamed broadly and replied.
"...No. It doesn't hurt."
Ye-rim's sister, Ye-won, was stronger than she could have imagined. Even with CRPS—said to be the most painful disease in the world—she shook her head and comforted Ye-rim instead. Ye-rim was endlessly grateful for Ye-won's endurance, yet she hated herself for being able to do nothing.
"...They caught the guy who hit you. I heard he got ten years in prison."
Korea's hit-and-run arrest rate was high, so the culprit was nabbed soon after the accident. The sentence: a 50 million won fine and ten years imprisonment. Ye-rim knew it was a heavy punishment, but it still felt too light.
"I'll keep praying that one day you'll get up and we can live together again."
"...Yeah. I'll... try my best to hold on."
With time up, Ye-rim left the room. Alone now, Ye-won sobbed quietly to herself.
"...Hic... Sorry, sis... It hurts so much..."
"I didn't want to worry you if I said it... sob... It really hurts so bad..."
"Sometimes I think... maybe if they just amputate the leg, the pain would end..."
"...But then... there'd be so many things I couldn't do..."
Ye-won sniffled on, murmuring unheard words.
"...Sometimes I wanted to die. It hurts that much... I just wanted to end it."
"...But if I die, you'd be sad, sis..."
"I... won't give up. I'll hold on as best I can."
After that, Ye-rim lost her will to live. She dragged through each day just to see her sister even slightly better. Amid that bleak existence, she came across an ad for a game.
Ye-rim started playing Lost World after that. She felt like if she didn't do something, she'd die alongside Ye-won. She searched for a reason to live. Though she usually favored mages, this time she chose the healer bard, thinking of Ye-won, and met many people. Among them was Noel, around the same age as her sister, who reminded her of Ye-won and kept partying with her. One became two, then four, then eight—a full party. When they took down the legion commander first, healing wounded and fallen comrades along the way, she thought of Ye-won, still bedridden.
'If only I had this power in reality, I could heal Ye-won too.'
For the next five years, Ye-rim visited Ye-won sporadically, checking on her. Her condition had improved somewhat—the pain episodes were less frequent, she could communicate lucidly more often, and there were no signs of worsening. The intensity still felt like repeated stabbings and axe blows, though. Playing Lost World, meeting good people, and seeing Ye-won get better restored some of Ye-rim's spark. Of course, even while gaming, she never skipped her daily hospital visits.
"Sis... you look better lately than before."
"Yeah. You're improving bit by bit, and I've met some great people."
"Heh... that's good."
They shared everyday chatter, passing the time like that.
"Oh, hi. I'm Noel."
Learning Noel was a girl came as a huge shock. When Noel's stream cut out from exhaustion amid the noise, Ye-rim anxiously called repeatedly without thinking. At the offline meetup, finally seeing Noel in person—that feeling defied words. Chatting one-on-one with Noel, they grew closer.
"I dropped the formal speech with Juwon, but Juwon won't with me?"
"I... don't know what to call you..."
"Come on~ Just call me sis. Ye-rim sis."
Before she knew it. Gradually. Ye-rim was starting to overlay Ye-won and Juwon in her mind.
"Ahaha... I'll get used to it slowly, sis..."
After seeing Ye-won insist she was fine despite her obvious pain, Ye-rim was plagued by nightmares without fail, night after night.
"Hwaaaaaah!!!"
In the dream, she could only watch, tears streaming, powerless as always.
"Please... I just... want it to stop, sis..."
"Don't hurt..."
"I can't take it anymore... okay...?"
"Don't hurt..."
The dreaming Ye-rim couldn't even hold her sister's tiny hand, just weeping and repeating the same words.
"I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!"
"Hah... haa... it hurts... haa..."
Ye-rim bolted awake, gasping roughly. It was the same dream every night, yet she never realized it within the dream. Maybe because it felt like it could happen anytime.
On the day of the meetup, the dream Ye-rim had was different. It started the same, but gradually shifted. Her sister's symptoms improved steadily, and after five years of waiting, she was discharged, returning to normal life. Ye-rim finally shared a bed with her sister again. Ye-won stroked her hair and whispered.
"It's okay... everything will be okay..."
Ye-rim hugged her sister tight and fell asleep.
That sleep was the happiest of Ye-rim's life.