The First Staff's Ruthless Inspection
The reason for the life of a living staff was unknown, but from time immemorial, there had been a perception that the empire's mages were noble beings.
When he first appeared in the territory, everyone was stunned.
"M-Mage, sir...!"
They dropped flat to the ground the moment they saw someone who obviously screamed "mage."
But.
"I'm not a mage. There are very few mages in the empire. Everyone, raise your heads."
The man who introduced himself as not a mage had a terribly complicated expression as he helped the people to their feet.
"...From now on, starting with farm work, whenever there's something difficult, I'll always help you all. Feel free to ask."
After spouting this incomprehensible nonsense, he dragged his heavy-looking feet toward the lord's manor where the territory lord resided.
At first, the people couldn't understand a word the mage was saying. Starting with farm work and providing conveniences? A mage? Mages, fewer in number even than knights, doing menial chores? It was utterly beyond common sense.
So in the early days, they couldn't even imagine asking the mage for help.
About a week into this situation.
"Is this Baralrum Territory?"
"Y-Yes? Uh, yes... it is."
A boy wearing an armband suddenly appeared in the territory.
He seemed to drop out of the sky, looking every bit the noble and acting like one. There was a certain elegance about him that set him apart from commoners.
Even though his armband with the number 1 embroidered in gold thread was spotless of dust.
"It must be a dusty day or something. Ahem."
He brushed it off anyway.
"I've received a report that Living Staff Number 782 has a usage rate of a whopping 0% over the past week. Surely, a staff was delivered here a week ago?"
"E-Eh?"
He spouted cryptic words. Number 782 staff? Usage rate? Delivery? No one could make sense of the string of unfamiliar terms, and they just tilted their heads.
"This is the problem. If you're a staff, you should actively fulfill your duties as one—promote yourself and all that. You can't just sit idle because no one comes to you. The neighboring territory's staff is already flying around the skies, watering crops... With work attitudes like this being compared, how embarrassing would it be for me, Number 1 Staff, when I face His Highness the Crown Prince? Think about it..."
The boy muttered to himself softly, then looked at the people gathered around him.
"Ah, I see what the problem is. Could someone tell me where the manor where the territory lord resides is?"
He asked with a bright smile.
"O-Over there."
The territory folk, flustered by how things seemed to proceed on their own, pointed toward the manor.
"Living in the best place while doing absolutely nothing for a week, usage rate 0%—this hurts the rest of us who lead by example every day except weekends. How can you not realize that!"
Whoosh.
The moment the location was pinpointed, the boy vanished in an instant.
A phenomenon that could only be explained as magic.
Some territory folk, who knew nothing of magic, were so shocked they collapsed to the ground.
"G-Grandpa was right—mages really do exist."
Mages were so rare in the empire that one wondered if they'd ever see one before dying.
Who knew they'd get a chance like this?
"Lately, our luck's been incredible."
"Yeah. Taxes suddenly dropped way down, and thanks to that... we don't have to make the kids work the fields anymore. They can learn to read and write."
"Yeah, I'm learning to read and write these days too. Gotta master the basics... It's a great saying."
The territory folk were extremely positive about the recent changes in the empire. Taxes had plummeted, giving them breathing room, and education was being actively supported.
They themselves might be too late, but their children could live different lives—that hope sustained them.
And amid that hope.
Boom!
A massive explosion erupted from the lord's manor.
"Living Staff Number 782! Proclaim your true duty from the village center!"
"Th-Theo... why are you doing this? Can't we just... go back to how it was? Quiet research like before? H-How am I supposed to use magic to water crops...? D-Do you think that makes any sense?"
When they came to their senses, the mage who had arrived a month ago and the boy who had just come were conversing in the village center.
"Theo is not here. Before you stands His Highness the Crown Prince's Number 1 Staff."
"...Do you think this makes sense?! Throwing away everything we've lived for until now! Everything... just to make fire when told, shoot water when told... live like that?!"
The boy's posture was incredibly overbearing.
In contrast, the mage from a month ago kept shrinking.
"You've accumulated two warnings in this conversation. One more, and regardless of reason, the restraint activates and your head explodes. If you don't like it, just die. There are plenty of other staffs besides you."
At the boy's final words.
"...Baralrum Territory folk! I am not a mage! I exist for your convenience! From now on, for any hardship! I will solve everything with my magic! My magic is free! Except weekends, which depend on the situation...!"
The flattened mage sprang up and began pouring out words.
Or tried to.
"No, wait."
"Uh, huh?"
"Usage rate 0% for a week—weekend guarantees don't apply. That's a benefit only for diligent staffs."
"Th-Then when do I get my weekends...?"
"You need five honest stars in the staff satisfaction magic check."
"Isn't that every six months?"
"Living Staff Number 782, as I said, if you don't want to, just die. Is it hard? Want me to trigger the restraint?"
"...."
If the boy with the serious face beside him hadn't spoken.
Number 782's expression rapidly drained of life.
Then, upon receiving a document from the boy, he read it aloud for all the territory folk to hear.
"I, Living Staff Number 782! For Baralrum Territory's endless convenience and the Bellos Empire's infinite glory! Pledge my utmost devotion and obedience!!!"
"Louder! Is that all the voice you've got? The neighboring territory's Number 264 read a document personally drafted and copied by His Highness the Crown Prince and even shed tears! With loyalty like this, do you think you'll last?!"
"...Hic... Sniff...!"
Number 782 cried too.
Was the meaning in his tears fear of death, lament for his life?
A life turned upside down.
Yet days worth living all the same.
Feeling that complex mix of emotions, Number 782 declared to the territory folk that he was not a mage, but a staff.
"Haha, another staff perfectly mentally armed."
The boy, proudly watching it all, brushed his armband again.
"No more nonsense. This is your final warning."
He said to Number 782 with utmost seriousness.
"You'll really die. I've already killed a lot. About 50?"
With those chilling words tossed out casually, he vanished from the spot.
In the place the boy left.
"Anyone need magic...?"
To survive, Number 782 began peddling his magic.
Mages are spreading positive influence across the empire at an astonishing speed!
The empire's magic level is skyrocketing.
The probability of children blessed by mana being born in the empire has greatly increased.
"Theo's working incredibly hard."
"This one has never seen such an enthusiastic mage."
Theo, who had dubbed himself Number 1 Staff, was conducting 21st-century on-site A/S visits.
Honestly, when he first said he'd do it, she wondered if it was necessary.
But seeing the results, the efficiency was insane.
For one, being able to teleport across the entire empire alone was tremendous.
This had even surprised Arbeda, who said his mana core was ridiculously vast.
"In terms of sheer mana capacity, it may rival a Dragon Heart."
"Ha, yeah... male protagonist perks."
A human with magic talent rivaling a dragon.
This was the level expected of a genius mage male lead.
Anyway, as the empire's magic level surged, pleasant messages arrived.
The empire is growing healthier.
Tremendous achievement!
Granted 2 Convenient Empire Status Window points!
'Oh.'
'Time to lay railroads across the empire.'
He recalled that tech tree path.
One for railroads, the other for the academy.
In the current situation, it would prepare for both present and future.
"Your Highness the Crown Prince, we have arrived."
"Good work."
At Arbeda's words that they'd reached their destination, he stroked her hair and slowly drew his sword.
The empire's north and east—one maintained the front lines, the other the coasts—so grand dukes had been appointed as external operators.
But the west and south had no such need, so no grand dukes existed.
That didn't mean no one stepped up to play boss.
Just because there are no tigers doesn't mean foxes vanish from the mountains.
There were always those who wanted to climb atop others' heads.
In that sense, the Imperial South.
Simply because it bordered the Romper Holy Kingdom.
"Why the hell are there holy kingdom symbols in the empire... and a golden statue, right in the south?"
It was blatantly mimicking the holy kingdom.
So the Imperial South was now.
"Infuriating."
The front yard of the Romper Holy Kingdom.
Thus.
Slash!
He lopped off the golden statue first.
Thud!
Religious vending in foreign lands ends now.