The Rules of Washing
"Aaaaargh! Let go! Let me go!"
Seyeon’s scream tore through the air, nearly drowned out by the deafening roar of the washing machine.
Washing Machine No. 4’s greedily gaping maw.
A cluster of pale, powerful hands had clamped onto Seyeon’s long hair, violently dragging her upper body into the pitch-black depths of the drum.
Her shoulders had already been sucked inside the machine.
"Seyeon! Hang on!"
I squeezed my eyes shut, poured every ounce of my strength into my arms, and tightly locked them around Seyeon’s waist.
Splat.
The crimson water pooling on the floor splashed up around us.
"Deokhu! Minhae! Grab her legs! Pull!"
The two of them snapped out of their daze and lunged forward.
Deokhu grabbed Seyeon’s left leg, while Minhae seized her right.
"Aaaaargh! I won't let them take her! No way in hell!"
"Yaaaah!"
Deokhu screamed, throwing his entire body weight backward. Minhae also grit her teeth, anchoring herself to the floor.
Screeeeeech!
Humans versus machine. No, the living versus the dead in a desperate tug-of-war.
They're too strong...!
Their strength was beyond imagination. The dozens of pale arms reaching out from the washing machine began to drag Seyeon’s body inside, inch by inch, like a swarm of ants hauling their prey.
"It hurts... I feel like my waist is going to snap...!"
Seyeon’s agonizing groans pierced my ears.
We can't keep this up.
We were at an absolute disadvantage in a pure contest of strength. Those things didn't get tired.
Think, Kim Minjun. Think!
Clinging to Seyeon’s belt like it was a lifeline, I desperately racked my brain.
Cutting the power had failed.
Why?
Because this machine wasn't running on electricity.
It was a monster powered by a supernatural engine called 'grudges.'
If so, how do you stop it?
Just then, the voice of Professor Park, whom I had met earlier today, flashed through my mind.
"Think of the machine's purpose... break it with logic..."
Purpose.
What was the purpose of this godforsaken washing machine?
Murder? No, that was just the result.
Its procedural purpose was washing.
To swallow dirty things, wash them, rinse them, spin them, dry them, and erase all traces of them. That was the absolute rule and the sole reason for its existence programmed into its being.
Rules... Yes, the rules of washing!
A washing machine is a machine designed to wash clothes.
Then, under what circumstances does a washing machine stop operating, or abandon its task and spit out its contents?
When the power goes out? No, we already tried that and failed.
Then...?
When washing is impossible!
Right now, that monster perceived Seyeon as laundry. A filthy, heavily soiled piece of laundry that absolutely had to be processed.
If so, what we needed to do was make the machine realize that Seyeon was not laundry—or that this was a situation where washing must not proceed.
Once my thoughts reached that point, it clicked.
Damn it... That's right. I had to violate the rules of washing! I shouldn't have tried to physically cut the power or smash it... I knew this, yet I still made a mistake.
The answer had been right under my nose. I had overcomplicated things.
The solution to every problem is always simple, rooted in the mundane details of everyday life.
Tightening my grip, I turned my head to look at Minhae.
She was groaning, straining with all her might as she held onto Seyeon’s leg. Scattered nearby were the bag of coarse salt and the bottle of bleach we had bought at the supermarket earlier.
Yes. That's it.
My mind made up, I yelled out.
"Minhae!"
"Yes, yes?! What is it!"
Minhae replied, her face crumpled in tears.
"I'm casting you in a role right now."
"What? In this situation?! Are you out of your mind?!"
"Don't argue, just listen! You have to do this. Right now!"
I didn't have a free hand to pull out my smartphone. But the skill could be activated through my voice and will alone.
I stared straight into Minhae's eyes and shouted.
"Yoo Minhae! From this moment on... you are a clumsy, novice housewife!"
"...What?!"
Minhae’s face contorted in sheer disbelief.
"Are you freaking kidding me... A housewife? Seriously? Senior, have you lost your mind?!"
"Ah, seriously! Don't talk back, just do it! Seyeon dies if you don't!"
My desperate shout shut Minhae up. Though her expression still screamed that this was utterly absurd and unfair, she wiped the bewilderment from her face, unable to ignore the dead-seriousness in my eyes.
"Ugh, whatever! Fine! I'll do it! I'll do it!"
Minhae screamed.
In that instant,
The light in Minhae’s eyes shifted.
What I wanted wasn't the usual tough, easygoing college student Yoo Minhae. I needed a novice housewife who had never done laundry in her life, who found the washing machine unfamiliar and intimidating, but was bursting with misplaced enthusiasm.
"Oh dear, oh dear... What should I do..."
Even the tone of her voice had completely changed.
Perfect. Casting complete!
Now the stage was set.
What was left? Creating the rule that would decide this situation.
Holding Seyeon tightly with one hand, I forced my other hand into my pocket to drag out my smartphone. My knuckles felt like they were about to snap under the strain, but I grit my teeth and endured.
Using only my thumb, I operated the screen.
Setting Addition.
I wouldn't mess up this time. I wasn't trying to turn off the machine's power; I had to interfere with its algorithm.
I typed rapidly.
[Rule: However, if a 'non-washable item (living organism)' is detected within the laundry, the machine immediately switches to 'Emergency Drain' and door opening mode.]
This was a standard safety feature built into modern smart washing machines.
A safety mechanism designed to prevent children or pets from getting trapped inside.
Of course, this ancient, cursed Washing Machine No. 4 wouldn't have such a feature.
Which was why I was forcibly implanting it right now.
Bring it on!
[Input Complete]
[Confirm]
Immediately,
The setting has been successfully added.
The causality of the scenario is being readjusted.
It worked!
Now, even this brainless, murderous piece of machinery had safety regulations to follow.
But just because the rule existed didn't mean the machine would stop on its own. It still perceived Seyeon as 'laundry.'
What we had to do now was force the machine to recognize the error.
"Now, Minhae!"
I roared at her.
"The laundry is ruined! The colors are bleeding! Scream it out!"
My shout was her cue.
Fully possessed by her role as the [Clumsy Novice Housewife], Minhae’s eyes snapped wide. She glared at the crimson liquid swirling around Seyeon.
Then, with wildly exaggerated gestures, she began to shriek.
"Oh my goodness! Heavens to betsy!"
"What is this?! The colored clothes got mixed in! The dye is bleeding everywhere!"
Her high-pitched voice rang out.
It was incredibly theatrical.
Yet, the panic in her voice felt completely genuine.
"This is going to ruin the baby's clothes! Oh dear, what do I do, what do I do?!"
Minhae frantically fumbled around before her eyes locked onto our supplies.
Her hands snatched up the bag of coarse salt and the bottle of highly concentrated bleach.
"For stains... for stains, you use bleach! And they said salt is great for stopping colors from bleeding!"
Without a moment's hesitation, Minhae tore the bleach cap off with her teeth.
Then, she poured it directly into the gaping maw of Washing Machine No. 4, right over the hands binding Seyeon.
"Oh, I don't care anymore! Just turn white!"
Splaaaaash!
The pungent, suffocating stench of chlorine filled the air.
The clear bleach poured over the crimson water.
Immediately after, she ripped open the bag of salt and dumped the entire contents inside.
"And some salt for good measure! Get salted and get out, you nasty stain!"
Shhhhhhh!
Rumble!
A waterfall of salt pelted the entity's face.
Right then,
The crimson liquid and water touched by the bleach began to bubble and boil violently.
*Did it work?*
Bleach.
The ultimate symbol of purification and sterilization.
Salt.
The ultimate symbol of warding off evil and cleansing impurities.
Under the rules of washing I had established, these two substances acted as the ultimate stain removers, striking directly at the entity's core essence.
"Kieeeeeeeek!"
A piercing, metallic shriek erupted from deep within the washing machine.
We did it!
The pale hands gripping Seyeon began to spasm violently, dissolving into nothingness.
The boiling crimson water frothed into white foam and rapidly oxidized.
And then.
Beep. Beep-beep. Bee-bee-beep. Beep.
A frantic alarm began to blare from the control panel of Washing Machine No. 4.
[ 404 ]
[ EMERGENCY STOP ]
[ SWITCHING TO EMERGENCY DRAIN MODE ]
Whirrrr. Thud.
The violently spinning drum ground to a sudden, screeching halt.
The sheer momentum made the entire washing machine shudder violently.
"Huh? It stopped! It stopped!"
Deokhu yelled.
But,
Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle!
It wasn't over yet.
A massive rushing sound echoed from the bottom of the machine.
Emergency drain.
The crimson water filling the drum was being forcibly sucked down into the drainage pipe.
At the same time,
"Kiaaaaak!"
"Screeeeeech! Noooooo!"
The agonized wails of the spirits echoed from inside the machine. The writhing white hands desperately clawed at the walls of the drum, trying to resist being dragged down into the drain.
Whoosh! Splash!
In an instant, the water level plummeted. The grip on Seyeon completely loosened.
"Now! Pull!"
I roared, throwing all my strength into pulling Seyeon backward.
Pop!
Like a champagne cork flying out of a bottle, Seyeon’s body was yanked free from the washing machine's opening.
"Kyaaa!"
We tumbled backward, collapsing onto the floor in a tangled heap.
Through the open door, the last remaining droplets of dark red water vanished down the drain with a final gurgle.
"Screw off, you filthy washing machine,"
I muttered, lying flat on my back and panting heavily.
"Washing is over."
The mechanical hum died down.
The heat, the stench, the terror.
Everything was sucked down into the sewer and vanished.
All that remained were the scattered grains of salt on the floor, the sharp scent of bleach, and the four of us, soaked to the bone and clutching one another.
"Ugh... huff... waaaah..."
Seyeon burst into sorrowful tears in my arms. The terror of having stood at death's door was finally catching up to her.
"It's okay, Seyeon. It's okay. We made it."
Minhae wrapped her arms around Seyeon, gently patting her back. Minhae’s own eyes were red. The bold, theatrical 'novice housewife' from moments ago was gone, replaced by the gentle, caring friend she truly was.
Deokhu took off his glasses, wiping them as he sniffled.
"Seriously... Hyung. This time... I was really, really terrified."
"Me too."
I admitted honestly.
"Me too. Honestly, I thought I was going to piss myself this time."
I stared up at the ceiling.
The fluorescent lights poured down, bright and blinding.
Just then, my phone vibrated.
The ninth task has been completed.
Reward: The Writer's Authority has been enhanced.
The Clear Reward is descending.
Beyond the glass windows of the laundromat, the pale blue light of dawn was beginning to seep in.
I could feel the 'invisible wall' blocking the entrance dissolve into nothing.
We had survived once again.
In a hell created by my own clumsy, discarded screenplay, we had pulled through with our absurd but desperate wits.
I hauled my damp body off the floor, a thought crossing my mind.
Next time... please let it be something normal.
But I knew the truth.
As the star rating of my scenarios rose, the ghost stories would only become more elaborate, more vicious.
But it didn't matter.
We now had the experience to weaponize everyday items like salt and bleach at a moment's notice.
And above all, we had each other.
"Let's go. Let's go home and do some actual laundry."
At my words, everyone let out a chuckle.
The sound of our laughter filled the silence of Washing Machine No. 4, welcoming the break of dawn.