Chapter 6
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 6
Chapter Title: Reality Feels More Lukewarm Than Expected
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I spilled out to Siwoo, one by one, these ridiculous worries I was dealing with.
The story of turning into a woman overnight, the thoughts that had raced through my mind afterward, the reason I hadn't gone to the hospital.
For quite a while, Siwoo listened silently to my rambling nonsense, arms crossed.
Gone was his usual playful vibe—he nodded occasionally, his face set in uncharacteristic seriousness as he paid close attention.
"Um...."
After listening quietly for a long stretch, Siwoo cautiously spoke up.
"...But then, wouldn't it be better to call your parents first instead of me?"
"Ugh."
It was spot on. Absolutely, undeniably correct.
"...."
I couldn't voice the reason.
Instead of replying, I just hung my head. I'd seen that question coming, but explaining these tangled-up feelings to Siwoo? No way.
No—this was an emotion that had to stay mine alone. Sharing it wouldn't make it feel any better.
"You know what they say: your real family is all you've got. Well, your situation's pretty unique, but still...."
Siwoo scratched the back of his head with an awkward grin, but when he noticed my darkening expression, he quickly added,
"Ah, not saying I'm not on your side or anything. Just my take."
"Ah, yeah. Right...."
An awkward silence settled over the room.
I was the one who broke it. Not on purpose.
Grrrooowl—
A loud rumble shattered the quiet, echoing through the room.
"E-Eat up. You first."
Siwoo cleared his throat and flipped open the lunchbox lid the rest of the way.
I snatched up my chopsticks and shoveled rice into my mouth like there was no tomorrow.
About halfway through, Siwoo—who'd been watching me in silence—finally spoke.
"But hey, it's only been a little over two weeks since your body changed, right? How'd your living expenses dry up so fast?"
"Eek......"
"You're not usually the type to blow through cash like that."
Siwoo tilted his head, puzzled. I froze mid-chew.
"Yeah.... Um...."
"Don't wanna talk about it? No biggie."
I slowly set down my chopsticks and bowed my head low.
"It's not that, exactly, but...."
"Then what?"
"St.... failure...."
"Huh? Say what?"
"I tried to become a Vtuber... and bombed...."
A voice like a mosquito's whine slipped past my tiny lips. I sneaked a sidelong glance at Siwoo's face.
His mouth hung wide open, frozen—then he clapped a hand over it as his shoulders started shaking.
"...."
"Pfft—hahaha!"
He finally lost it, bursting into full-on laughter.
"Ah, sorry! I'm really sorry—it's just hilarious! You... a Vtuber? I mean, your voice isn't half bad... heh!"
"......Don't laugh. I put real thought into it...."
Was it that funny? Self-loathing crashed over me.
"No, but come on... hahaha! Sorry, sorry."
He laughed for ages before finally staring straight at me.
"Okay, but why a Vtuber, of all things?"
"This body's got me so limited... it was all I could come up with...."
Saying it out loud only piled on more self-loathing.
Was Vtuber really my best shot?
"Y-You could've gotten paid under your real name. No need to show your face...."
"So that's why you went for Vtuber? How'd it go?"
"A total flop...."
Siwoo couldn't stop cracking up at my answer.
"Wanna hear my story?"
"What...."
"Truth is, I actually tried getting into virtual camgirl gigs back in the day."
I shot back with pure disgust at his casual bombshell.
"Ew—that's straight-up gross...."
A beat of silence. The goofy grin on Siwoo's face evaporated in an instant.
He leaned in slowly... real slowly, right into my space.
I could smell the cigarettes on his breath.
"...Dude. Say that again. Just once."
I stared him down without flinching, enunciating every word with heavy contempt.
"It's. Really. Gross."
"Ugh......"
Siwoo clutched his chest and staggered back, looking for all the world like he'd been gut-punched. Goosebumps prickled all over me.
"...You psycho."
Siwoo and I talked for a good while longer before he finally got up.
"You have to tell your parents. Sooner than later. Fix this before it spirals out of control."
Right before stepping out the front door, he turned back.
"Still, try not to stress too hard. If you need anything or things get rough, just say the word."
I nodded instead of answering.
I kept staring at the closed front door. Someday, I'd have to open it and step out.
But I wasn't ready.
If I could put it off, I'd drag it out to the absolute limit.
Yeah—at least until graduation.
That was the line I'd drawn for myself.
Graduation was a month away. An unavoidable event. Something I couldn't run from.
Disappearing entirely? That'd be way too cruel to the few people around me.
I didn't even have the guts to survive alone in this body.
I'd have to tell Mom somehow. That her son had turned into a daughter.
Someday, I might get back to normal....
The future suddenly felt hopelessly bleak.
I might be stuck like this forever.
My eyes landed on the half-eaten lunchbox—I'd been too full to finish.
"Ah. Leftovers...."
My still-unfamiliar voice echoed off the ceiling.
This voice, this body—they'd grow familiar with time.
Whether I wanted them to or not.
I shoved the leftovers into the fridge.
In the morning bathroom, my disheveled reflection stared back from the mirror.
The pajamas that used to be mine now hung awkwardly on me, like I'd borrowed someone else's.
So this is what I look like now....
A neckline so precarious it threatened to spill down to my chest, sleeves that dangled loosely when I raised my arms.
It was like I'd stolen my boyfriend's clothes—kind of pathetic-looking.
Guess I need new clothes.
But I had no money.
Lying on the bed, I grabbed my smartphone and fired off a text.
[Siwoo]
[What]
[Can you lend me some money?]
[Figured you'd ask since you're broke]
This was the first time in my life I'd ever asked anyone for cash. My ears burned with humiliation.
[No clothes to go out in, no food money either. I'll pay you back for sure. Promise.]
No reply from Siwoo.
"Ah....... Shouldn't have sent that...."
Then a notification popped up at the top of my screen.
[Cocoa Bank: Seong Siwoo has sent you 500,000 won.]
"Eh...?"
The amount was way more than I'd expected—my jaw dropped.
As soon as the transfer alert vanished, a text came in.
[This is my max. Pay me back later.]
[Thanks.]
I've got one hell of a friend.
I immediately flopped onto my stomach, opened a shopping app, and dove into the clothing section.
Men's stuff was pointless now, but my finger hovered anyway.
In the end, I tapped Women > Casual. Pastel tones and lace flooded the screen—I nearly choked.
Wearing stuff like this? No way....
My pride wouldn't let me yet.
I settled on picking unisex basics anyone could wear.
I stuck to designs like my old ones as much as possible.
Simple solids. Black, white combos.
Okay, gray was tolerable.
Before adding to cart, I paused at the size options.
S, M....
I'd always gone M—L if I wanted it loose.
Guessing wrong could mean clothes that didn't fit at all. Disaster.
Time to measure properly.
"Haa...."
Stripping down to measure brought a fresh wave of self-loathing.
Cold air brushed my skin. I looked down at my body.
Soft curves everywhere—a waist so narrow two of my palms stuck together might cover it.
Do all my organs even fit in there?
Trembling fingers wrapped the tape measure around my waist. The cold metal tip hit my skin, sending violent goosebumps everywhere.
Waist done—next, chest.
Top bust and underbust separately, right...? But do I even need to measure for this size?
I tossed the tape aside carelessly and cupped my chest with both hands.
A vivid sensation shot from my fingertips straight to my brain.
It would've been thrilling in other circumstances—but since it was my body, meh.
Hmm.... It's there, but....
Just a faint heartbeat pulsing through my palms, soft skin, and the firmness of bone beneath. That's it.
Put simply: flat.
"Umm...."
Misery and relief hit me at once. I felt pathetic for agonizing over bras just minutes ago.
Whatever—better this way.
If they'd been huge, I might've lost my mind entirely.
"Ah."
Why was I even thinking about bust size? I shook my head side to side to snap out of it.
I picked sizes for the clothes I'd eyed earlier and tossed them in the cart.
My finger hesitated faintly as I scrolled up and down the list.
Plain pajamas, plain solid hoodie, basic joggers, neutral socks, and panties.
"This'll do...."
I muttered softly to myself.
Designs like what I'd always worn—super basic and safe. Just smaller sizes.
Handpicked to cling to my last scraps of pride.
No frilly girl clothes for me. Ever.
"Umm...."
I rolled over once on the bed.
The ceiling spun, my vision shook—but my eyes stayed glued to the button at the bottom of the screen.
[Checkout]
Press—
The hesitation lasted forever... but my finger was light when it finally tapped.