I Did It All By Myself
Just a little bit. I’ll just touch it a little bit and then stop.
That should help me fall asleep, too.
In truth, that was just an excuse.
If I didn't find some relief right now, I felt like I would go crazy from the frustration. My lower abdomen was throbbing with a dull, persistent ache.
'Why is this happening all of a sudden…?'
I climbed out of bed, turned the lights back on, and headed to the bathroom.
I turned on the faucet and washed my hands.
“…….”
The warm stream of water flowed between my fingers. I washed my hands thoroughly. More meticulously than usual.
In the mirror, I saw myself washing my hands with a blank expression.
I didn't look like a girl who was about to comfort herself.
I shook off the water, dried them with a towel, and returned to the bed.
The lights in the room were still on.
I lay down and stared at the ceiling.
…It’s just for the purpose of relief, because I have no choice.
It’s one of the basic human needs, so there’s nothing unnatural about it.
It’s not like I’m doing this because I want to. I’m just moving according to biological urges.
This is definitely a normal, healthy reaction.
It’s not a bad thing. I’m just touching my own body.
Nothing more, nothing less.
But since it was my first time touching myself for this purpose, I couldn't help but feel my heart racing.
'Do I need tissues…?'
Just in case, I prepared some tissues within arm's reach and grabbed my smartphone.
'Is there anything new…?'
I entered the site I always visited—the one where adult *doujinshi* were uploaded.
Lying on my side, I tapped the screen with my index finger.
It had been a while since I last checked, and there were all sorts of weird things uploaded. I wish they wouldn't post stuff like that.
'Nothing worth looking at in the new arrivals…'
I decided to just look at the ones I always watched.
I skillfully entered the search terms and went to the first page. I hadn't just looked this up once or twice, so there was no hesitation in my fingers.
Tap, tap.
I saw a scene on a specific page that piqued my curiosity.
I slipped my other hand, which had been idle, inside the top of my pajamas.
I immediately felt bare skin. It was only natural, since I didn't wear anything underneath when I was at home because it was uncomfortable.
Even if I bulged out a little, there was no one around to see.
Fumbling inside my clothes, I moved my hand to my chest.
It was small, but it filled my hand perfectly. Maybe it was just because my hands were small.
'It feels a little bigger than usual…'
And then I found that spot. I could feel a patch of skin that was more sensitive than the surrounding area.
I was curious about this. Whenever they touched this spot, they got excited immediately.
Of course, I knew there was some artistic exaggeration in manga, but still.
I poked it with my index finger. It tickled a little.
“…….”
It didn't feel all that good.
Poke, poke.
As expected, it just tickled.
Wondering if I was doing it wrong, I pinched it lightly with my thumb and index finger.
It was no different from pinching any other piece of skin.
I fiddled with it for a while, but there was no thrill.
If anything, I felt like a fool for having expected anything; it was completely uneventful.
The sensation was different from other skin, but it was a far cry from feeling "good."
'Well, men have them too, after all…'
If it felt good to do this, everyone in the world would be fiddling with them.
What kind of man would fiddle with this?
Ah, there was one character in a manga who did.
Or maybe it was because I was the one doing it to myself—is it different when someone else does it?
'Or was I being too gentle…?'
Thinking I might have been too light, I pinched it a bit harder.
“———!”
It just hurt like hell. How is this supposed to feel good?
I pulled my hand out from under my clothes.
The spot I had pinched was still stinging.
…I should have been a little gentler.
I kept searching, holding my smartphone with one hand.
I repeated the process of looking at covers, clicking on them, and going back.
When I actually tried to watch the ones I usually watched, they weren't fun, perhaps because I had seen them too many times.
Then, I accidentally found something decent and started reading it.
Tap, tap.
Every time I tapped the smartphone screen with one finger, the page turned.
In the manga, the main event had already begun.
I tilted my body to the side. I pulled a handful of the duvet and tucked it between my legs.
Tap, tap.
Unconsciously, I tensed my thighs and then relaxed them.
I turned my body to change my position for no reason, still keeping the duvet between my legs.
Again, without me realizing it, my legs tensed and relaxed.
'This is… actually pretty good…'
Every time the duvet brushed against my legs, my body felt a little warmer. My heart began to pound faster and faster.
The space between my legs grew slightly hot.
A sense of exhilaration, as if blood were rushing through my entire body, began to circulate within me.
I hadn't really done anything, yet one *doujinshi* was already over. I had to find a new one.
I went back to looking at covers, clicking in and out repeatedly.
I moved the duvet I had tucked between my legs aside. I lay back on my back and stared at the ceiling.
I held my smartphone up toward the ceiling as well.
And then, I naturally curled my hand to form a ring.
And then—
My hand, placed between my legs, was grasping at thin air.
Habits are such a scary thing. I had thought I was finally used to a woman's body.
I uncurled my hand and began to rub lightly, very lightly, over my clothes.
Even though there were two layers, the fabric was thin enough that it was plenty stimulating.
Should I call it ticklish? But it wasn't the kind of ticklishness that made me want to pull away—it was the kind that made me want more.
I didn't want to stop my hand.
I pressed firmly on the slightly protruding upper part with my finger.
My waist reacted on its own without me even knowing.
'…Was it always this sensitive?'
I changed the speed little by little. I rubbed slowly with just one index finger, then gradually increased the pace.
If I went too fast, my body reacted first. The muscles on the inside of my thighs tensed and relaxed without my permission.
Before long, the air I was exhaling through my nose seemed to have grown a bit hot.
I didn't have any peculiar habits of making noise with my mouth on purpose.
All I could hear in my ears was the sound of my own breathing through my nose.
I hadn't even found anything I liked yet.
I hadn't even started in earnest, but my arm was already going numb.
It still wasn't enough.
With one hand, I continued to browse the website while tucking the duvet between my legs again.
I squeezed my thighs harder than before. I wrung the duvet as if I were crossing my legs.
In that position, I was swaying my waist little by little.
If someone were looking down at me, I would look pathetic, but that wasn't important right now.
A little more, just a little more.
'It feels so good…'
Before I knew it, my panties had become damp. The stimulation had changed into something new.
'But it's still not enough…'
Lying down, I turned my head to look around the room. I saw a chair.
Gulp.
I climbed out of bed. I lowered the height of the chair as much as possible.
I rested my crotch on the armrest of the chair. I bent one knee and propped it up on the chair.
It's not like anyone is watching.
Swish, swish.
Using a different object instead of my hand was definitely more…
'It feels so good…'
It felt better than my hand. But my stamina couldn't keep up.
I was out of breath in no time. Maybe it was because I was excited.
Supporting my body with only one leg made my thigh muscles twitch uncontrollably.
I couldn't put any proper strength into my legs.
I returned to the bed and lay down again.
This time, I cleared away everything that was in the way and completely exposed my lower body.
As the air touched my damp, wet crotch directly, a shiver ran through my entire body.
I brought my hand between my legs.
This time, there was nothing blocking the way.
Directly on my bare skin.
The wet sensation touched the tips of my three fingers.
I pressed my index, middle, and ring fingers together and rubbed as if drawing a circle.
Without the fabric, it was much more stimulating.
Even without a hard object, the fingerprints on my fingers were plenty stimulating.
I changed the speed, sometimes pressing down, sometimes pulling away, brushing against it as if I were about to touch it but not quite.
Not with the tips of my fingers, but with the joints.
Not with the joints, but with the palm of my hand.
My waist twitched on its own.
Without realizing it, I tensed my toes, gripping the sheets tightly, then spreading them, relaxing, and gripping them again.
My breathing sounded louder in the room.
The sound of air passing in and out of my nose.
Haa. Haa.
It wasn't just the air I was exhaling; the air entering my lungs felt hot as the room heated up.
'Should I… try putting it in?'
My index finger was a bit scary, but maybe my pinky…
“———!!”
It hurt. Even though I thought I was wet enough, it hurt. This was not something meant to be put in.
I also hated the strange sensation of the entrance being slightly stretched open.
There were other reasons, but I stopped for now.
'I'll just rub it…'
I pressed my three fingers together again and rubbed carefully.
I could hear a squelching sound, louder than before, in my ears.
'Just a little more, if I do it just a little more…'
Instinctively, I knew.
Something was coming.
My fingers alone were slightly lacking.
Was there something a little firmer?
Right.
There was one.
I tilted my fingertips and used my fingernails slightly.
Tap.
“———!”
At that moment, my hand stopped.
It wasn't because I wanted to stop.
As if stretching, both legs stood straight, pointing downward. My feet stood on tiptoe, trembling in the air.
Air flowed into the space created by my arched back, and a cool sensation washed over my sweat-drenched spine.
“Haa….”
Breathing only through my nose was too much; I had to breathe through my mouth as well.
Before I could fully savor the lingering sensation.
My hand, which had been holding the smartphone, lost its strength, and I dropped it onto my face.
“Ouch…!”
Fortunately, I dodged it quickly, so it didn't hit me square on.
I picked up the fallen smartphone.
The screen had gone black, perhaps because it turned off when I dropped it.
And in that pitch-black screen, my face was reflected.
Even though no one was watching, I tried to hide my expression.
“……….”
Had I really enjoyed it that much?
I turned on the smartphone screen. The page I had been looking at earlier was still there.
A highlight scene, painstakingly put together by joining two pages.
'……Just now, me…. No, that can't be.'
A question popped into my head, but I decided not to think about it.
It was true that a woman's body didn't have a "post-nut clarity" phase.
I lay sprawled out, staring blankly at the ceiling, feeling the lingering sensation. My body felt languid.
After staring blankly for a long time, I realized that my lower body was quite cold.
Looking at the floor, I saw the clothes and underwear I had mindlessly stripped off lying in a heap.
I had definitely only pulled my panties down to my calves, so when did I take them off completely?
I looked down at the bed and saw that it was a disaster.
The duvet was already soaked through, to the point where I couldn't even lie down and sleep.
'I should drink more water usually…'
I really wonder who said women don't have a post-nut clarity phase.
Looking at this, there's no way it wouldn't come.
I had to take another shower in the middle of the night, and I had to take out a new duvet.
I didn't have any spares, so I had to take out a summer blanket.
As I cooled down from how hot my body had been earlier, I felt a bit chilly.
Anyway, why couldn't I control myself like that all of a sudden?
Thinking about that made my lower abdomen ache slightly.