Chapter 4
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 4
Chapter Title: Schrödinger's Cat
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The balance in my bank account was dwindling at an alarmingly fast rate.
I couldn't even step outside. I'd blown through every last penny I'd set aside for clothes.
Every time the number on the screen ticked down, it felt like my lifeline was burning away bit by bit.
The five-digit figure flashed into four digits in an instant. Then four became three before I knew it—no, it was creeping steadily toward zero.
I truly had no clue what to do anymore.
Before becoming this body, I'd at least pretended to be a functioning member of society, poking around job prep sites for even a minute a day.
But now? Nothing. All effort felt utterly pointless.
In this body, I couldn't do a damn thing.
"Haa... ha..."
My stamina and intelligence both seemed to have shrunk to less than half of what they used to be.
My stomach capacity halving wasn't half bad in a situation like this.
'What the hell was I thinking, pulling something like this?'
If I'd been just a bit more level-headed before jumping into this mess—if I'd thought it through a little longer—things might have turned out differently.
The money I'd stupidly blown on that Vtuber debut, the shame from that idiotic voice I'd used on stream... they were gnawing away at me.
I felt like such a fool, drowning in belated regret.
Like a black mark from my school days, it poked and prodded at my mind. The difference? This one was vividly fresh.
But what was truly breaking my spirit was the isolation.
The terror that I'd been erased from the world, that this cramped studio apartment was the only space left where I could exist.
I knew this life couldn't last forever. Hell, it might end soon.
Once the food I'd stocked up on—the human chow to fill my belly—ran out, that was it.
Yet there I sat, glued to the computer out of sheer inertia, scrolling communities and chuckling at internet streams.
Escapism from reality.
In the dark room, staring into the monitor's lone glow, forgetting the real world.
It didn't matter who I'd been before or what I was now.
Inside the monitor, I didn't have to think about any of that.
But there was something disrupting my escape.
Grrroooowl—
A twisting pain in my gut doubled me over. My index finger trembled as it scrolled the mouse.
The food I'd bought was down to scraps.
'What if I just starve to death like this?'
A horrific thought suddenly flooded my mind.
A few days from now, the stench wafting to the neighbors.
Someone knocking repeatedly, getting suspicious at no answer, calling it in.
When the cops force the door open, the first thing they'd see is the corpse of some nameless woman.
No ID would turn up, no matter how hard they looked.
How would society spin this?
Some male college kid kidnapped a woman, hid her corpse in his apartment, then vanished?
Who'd ever guess a guy turned into a girl and starved from social isolation?
Catastrophic. Utterly catastrophic.
What if Mom— who'd trusted and lived for me her whole life—heard about it?
Grieving the loss of her son wouldn't be enough. She'd spend her remaining days in hell, branded by others as the parent who raised a depraved criminal.
'I can't let that happen...'
I stopped scrolling the mouse.
'Maybe I should reach out...'
Mom's face seemed to flicker in the monitor's reflection.
After divorcing Dad, she'd devoted herself entirely to her kids.
My older brother and me, the youngest.
She'd harbored some resentment toward my brother for not helping much, so she'd poured everything into supporting me without stint.
Despite the lack of support, my brother had become a proper success, running a business overseas.
Watching him, I'd felt both admiration and a gnawing inferiority complex.
Up until now, I'd never once disappointed Mom.
No typical teenage rebellion, no screw-ups like everyone else.
Well, I'd tried my damnedest not to.
I'd lived desperately on the path she wanted—quietly, dutifully—staying on track to be a son she could brag about like my brother.
That sense of responsibility had sometimes felt suffocating, but I'd believed it was a weight I could bear gladly for her happiness.
Yet reaching out to her now, in this state? I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I flat-out lacked the courage to press the keys.
'At least... not until I've prepared myself to stand on my own in this body.'
A sharp ache stabbed at my chest.
There was no one else I could confide in about this mess.
As I closed my phone and set it on the desk, a familiar alert chimed, and a small window popped up in the bottom left of the monitor.
Ah, there was one person, maybe.
Profile pic of some Japanese mobile game character.
Seong Si-woo. My one and only college classmate.
Actually, more than that—we went through elementary, middle, high school, and even college together. A true bro.
Probably the person who knows me best in this world, family aside.
Minus his love for subculture stuff, he had specs that made me wonder why he even hung out with me.
Looks, height, the works.
I had no idea if it was childhood loyalty or what, but I was grateful he still put up with me.
Trembling fingers hovered over the keyboard. The typing sounded louder than usual.
I had no idea how to reply. I typed "Woke up a girl" and deleted it over and over.
Then another message popped up.
Girlfriend? If I looked in the mirror right now, a girl was standing in for my body.
I stared blankly at the screen, biting my lip.
Should I tell Si-woo the truth? Would he even believe me?
Yeah, he was the only one I could tell anyway.
I swallowed dryly. My shrunken fingers trembled faintly over the keys.
No reply for a long while. The "typing..." indicator flickered on and off in the chat window.
This was a request I'd never make under normal circumstances.
I treated my apartment like a sanctuary—no inviting people over first—and I sure as hell wasn't the type to ask anyone to buy me stuff.
The tension eased, and my eyes stung. Still, a tiny smile tugged at my lips.
Seong Si-woo was coming. And he'd see me, turned into a girl.
Knowing someone was actually on their way made me feel like my feet were on fire.
How should I greet him?
Play it cool with a grin and "I'm a girl now!"?
Or set a serious mood and say "I've... become a girl..."?
'Wait, would Si-woo even recognize me as me? If he just goes by what he sees...'
A new wave of anxiety spread through my chest.
'He won't try anything with my body, right?'
What if his gaze filled with desire when he looked at me?
Chills ran down my spine at the thought that solving one problem might create a bigger one.
'He's not that kind of guy...'
If he realized it was me, he'd probably just tease the hell out of me instead.
If my judgment of people wasn't off, that's exactly Si-woo's style.
This time, my flipped-over phone buzzed.
"Hoo..."
No time left to worry. My anxieties bloomed and faded in rapid succession.
Nervous. Hopeful. Scared. Please believe me.
"Hngh... hic..."
That damn girly whimper threatened to burst out again, but I bit my lip hard to stifle it.
'Why do the tears keep welling up like this?'
I was too cowardly to greet him like I'd imagined.
As the moment loomed, I flopped onto the bed and yanked the blanket over my head.
Then I texted Si-woo.
'I'm always like this.'
I fidgeted anxiously, and before I knew it, time had passed—the sound of the door lock beeping came from outside.
My heart felt like it would explode. I clutched my chest tight.
The gentle curve under my palm cruelly reminded me I wasn't a guy anymore.
"Haa..."
The hot breath from my mouth swirled inside the blanket.
And finally, the front door swung open.