16. The Worst Crisis
16. The Worst Crisis
We're screwed. I thought it through carefully, and the conclusion is: we're completely, utterly screwed.
I'd just finished grilling the Chairwoman about the financial audit.
──The First Prince's proposal came wrapped in an atmosphere of generous consideration. Everyone whispered about how thoughtful the royal family was being... and pushing back against that by invoking the academy's autonomy would have gone against the current. We could have sparked unnecessary friction with the royal house.
Traditionally, it's not unusual for the royal family to demand a financial audit as a condition for providing subsidies. There's nothing inherently wrong with it.
I had suspected they might have seized on some clue about the academy's finances as a pretext to conduct the audit, but...
'According to the Margrave, the royal family is currently trying to get into the Chairwoman's good graces. Trying to leash her in this climate? That would be a dangerously stupid move.'
At worst, they could dispatch an auditor later, after the Delphia Kingdom affair was fully settled. Sending one right now wasn't an attempt to keep the Chairwoman and the academy in check.
Even if the First Prince's considerate act was just a performance, there's no way an 8th Rank being like the Chairwoman wouldn't see through it. The Chairwoman's financial sense is catastrophically bad, yes, but she's by no means stupid.
Which meant the royal family was being genuinely considerate.
'But how is sending a financial audit a gesture of consideration?'
The answer was obvious. No matter how much we call them "donations for post-terrorist reconstruction," let's be honest—no one knows how those funds will actually be used. The nobles and trading companies providing the donations will use that as an excuse to demand an accounting of where the money went.
That's where external interference in the academy begins. But what if, before any of that, the royal family itself steps in and completes a financial audit?
Who would dare object once the royal house has vouched for it? The move was actually meant to preempt any attempt by nobles or trading companies to exert influence over the academy. So yes, it was a gesture of consideration for the Chairwoman. It was.
The problem was that the audit itself was a critical hit.
'I could just about lose my mind and hurl myself off a cliff.'
It was like a cow stumbling backward and accidentally crushing a rat. From the royal family's perspective, they were being thoughtful, but they'd stepped right on the academy's most sensitive nerve.
We could refuse the audit if we wanted to. Given how eager the royal family was to please the Chairwoman, we probably could.
But doing so would open the door for other nobles and trading companies to meddle, and more importantly, it would raise a suspicious question: if it's just a simple financial audit, why refuse it?
The best move here was to accept the audit as if it were nothing. And that was the problem, goddammit—it was impossible.
So, after deep deliberation, the conclusion I reached was to find a client.
"So, you're saying... a financial audit is coming?"
"Yes, that's correct."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because our bribery arrangement could be exposed, couldn't it?"
"Ah...!!"
Meaning, I went straight to Risha.
Rus? Chloe? Beatrice? None of them could help. Even the Chairwoman, my usual deus ex machina, was powerless in this situation.
What I needed now was someone with significant influence in the 'Kingdom,' and simultaneously someone entangled with me through mutual interest who would be compelled to help.
The young lady of the great noble house of Count Claudia.
I was in a rush, but I luckily managed to bypass that protagonist bastard, Chloe, and Beatrice and meet Risha right away. She was flustered at first, but soon grasped the gravity of the situation, her face turning serious.
"If our bribery arrangement is exposed..."
"I'll be losing my head, to begin with, but the Chairwoman's fury will go beyond you, Lady Risha, and reach House Claudia as well."
"B-But it's just a financial audit, isn't it? More than anything, from the mood around the royal family, it seems like they'll just give the ledgers and financial statements a cursory look and call it a day."
"Isn't there always a 'what if'? Can you afford to brush this off thinking it'll probably be fine?"
"...No, I can't."
People who do dirty work always think about the worst of the worst cases, paranoid about getting caught. Risha's face went pale, likely imagining the Chairwoman's fist—the one that had carved a massive basin outside the academy—turned against her if the bribery came to light.
The real problem was the academy's near-bankrupt financial state, but the bribery angle alone was enough to get Risha moving.
With a grave expression, Risha met my eyes.
"You came to me, which means you have something specific in mind, right?"
"With House Claudia's power, couldn't you find out in advance who's being sent for this financial audit? You must have considerable eyes and ears embedded in the capital."
"Please wait a moment."
She didn't deny it. The House of Count Claudia might be a Margrave family, but beyond that, they're great nobles with an 8th Rank at their head. It was only natural they'd wield significant influence in the central government.
Enough influence to learn the identity of a financial officer dispatched by the royal family's order.
I felt I could glimpse why the royal family was so wary of the Chairwoman. If she ever seriously decided to exert her influence, she would be far more threatening than even House Claudia.
Risha spoke briefly with her attendants and returned in less than ten minutes.
"Marcus Lutel. He currently serves as a finance officer in the royal court. Given that he isn't a particularly high-ranking official, it seems the royal family isn't sending their heavy hitters."
"Thank you. Do you have any other information?"
"He's known for working so quietly that there are no special remarks. Perhaps just that his character is upstanding and principled? The fact that it was this easy to find out suggests the royal family isn't trying to hide it."
"...Thank you. I will call on your strength again if the worst should come to pass."
"I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that. Please, I'm begging you."
My meeting with Risha didn't last twenty minutes, but it was immensely productive. I left immediately after receiving her fervent, repeated pleas that if the worst happened, I should at least keep House Claudia's name out of it when facing the Chairwoman.
I rushed back to the Chairwoman's office without a moment's rest to find her already waiting for me, her face pale.
"F-Finance Director..."
"Chairwoman."
"What do we do? No, forget that. We don't have time. Did you find out anything?"
"The person coming for the financial audit is a finance officer named Marcus Lutel. They say his rank isn't very high."
"I also heard when the audit will take place while speaking with the First Prince."
"When is it?!"
"Three days from now."
Three days. An unbelievably tight deadline no matter what we attempted. Besides, shouldn't it take several days just to travel here from the capital? Had they planned the entire financial audit before even arriving at the academy?
I was cursing the royal family's damnably quick processing speed, a testament to how badly they wanted to impress the Chairwoman, when she took a deep breath, her teary expression hardening into a resolute gaze.
"...Let's do the accounting fraud."
"Do you know what that entails?"
"I read some finance-related books in my own way. They weren't much help, but that term—I remembered that."
Accounting fraud. Simply put, it's ledger manipulation.
It's a common technique used by organizations like our academy that can't afford to have their true financial state discovered, and a typical method for passing audits like this.
"It won't work."
"What? Why not?"
"Time aside, the volume of documents is insurmountable."
Accounting fraud isn't easy. You have to cross-verify financial statements, ledgers, and more, adjusting every single figure, and then revise all the related budget execution records, fixed costs, and expenditures.
Moreover, the academy's financial ruin didn't start just a year or two ago—it's been going on for well over a decade.
Revising all those documents is nearly impossible, and it becomes even more impossible when you consider the three-day time limit and the fact that only the Chairwoman and I are available.
If I brought Milia in, she'd immediately grasp the academy's true financial situation.
'Even if I roped in that protagonist bastard, it'd be the same.'
Borrow money to temporarily fill the gaps? That's impossible too. You'd have to forge records detailing how the funds were acquired, how much, and the nature of the transaction, all under a crushing time constraint. And there's nowhere to borrow from in the first place.
The protagonist seemed to have quite a bit of money, but even if I borrowed from him, the situation would be the same. The academy's financial indicators must appear flawless. If we go from a prolonged state of ruin to a sudden budget surplus, the financial health metrics will still point directly to collapse.
In short, whether it's accounting fraud or anything else, we were thoroughly, completely fucked.
The Chairwoman's face was painted with despair.
"Th-Then... should we refuse the audit, even now? If only to buy some time..."
"If we do that, the royal family will immediately smell a rat. Not only is it questionable how much time we'd actually buy, but an auditor who's caught a whiff of something will come back in earnest."
"So there's no way out...?"
It was checkmate. There was no way out.
Refusing the audit gave us a clear justification, but even if we refused, a bigger problem would simply follow.
And yet, accepting the audit was impossible—we couldn't get through it cleanly, accounting fraud or not. The Chairwoman handling this crisis alone was out of the question.
But.
If there truly were no options, I wouldn't have bothered visiting Risha in the first place.
"There is... a solution."
"R-Really?! I knew I could trust you, Finance Director!!"
"However, it's not a conventional method. Still, it's better than refusing the audit."
"What in the world is it?"
"Ultimately, the problem is the audit coming here, isn't it?"
"W-Well, yes? But you said we can't refuse it just a moment ago..."
"Correct. We can't refuse. So we simply prevent it from arriving."
"...What?"
"Physically."
The Chairwoman, who hadn't understood my words for a moment, soon wore an expression of shock. It was only natural, given it was an insane idea.
In the end, a financial audit is just a person coming here. The problem only arises if that person arrives and sees the academy's ledgers.
So.
"We just have to 'physically' prevent them from reaching the academy."
"Wh-What do you mean...?"
"The royal family may have the audit in mind, but for now, they want to let this pass smoothly. They have to tread carefully around you, Chairwoman, because of the Delphia Kingdom matter. If a truly 'unavoidable reason' arises, they will cancel the audit, or at the very least, they'll simply announce that the audit was completed without issue."
This wasn't blind optimism. It was a point Risha had specifically added.
The fact that the royal family was sending a middling finance officer for an audit of Grandis Academy—of all places—spoke volumes about their intentions. For the royal family, a real audit would be nice, but not doing one was also acceptable. They might even call off future audits to avoid provoking the Chairwoman too much.
So it was possible. No, it had to be possible.
This was the academy's only path to survive the worst of all crises.
"But how? Are you suggesting we assassinate the finance officer...?"
"What are you saying?"
"S-Sorry. This is the only way my mind seems to work..."
"Assassination carries too high a risk of exposure; it's not a suitable method. If the finance officer died, it would also put the royal family in an awkward position. We need another way."
So, here's what we'll do.
"We'll use a method that's already been proven."
"A proven method?"
Now then.
Hai Kirke?
*
"Finance Officer Marcus, preparations are complete."
"Mm."
At the words of the knight assigned to his escort, Marcus Lutel, who had been working on documents until the very last moment, rose from his seat.
Normally, finance officers dispatched for audit duties are given a day off beforehand so they can rest up, but Marcus had even given that up, immersing himself in work right up until his departure.
A rigid and upright finance officer.
That very character had earned him the enmity of many, causing him to be repeatedly passed over in promotion reviews, but Marcus paid it no mind. He simply devoted himself to his work.
Many were drawn to that integrity, and the escort knight accompanying him on this trip was one such person.
"Thank you. The journey to Grandis Academy is long; you've got quite the task ahead guarding me."
"It's nothing compared to your dedication, Finance Officer Marcus. You're the only official who works right up until departure."
"I am merely doing my duty. Alright, climb on up—you mount your horse as well."
"Yes, sir!"
Finance Officer Marcus climbed onto the horse prepared by the escort knight, checked his luggage one last time, and set out from the capital. Following him was only the single knight tasked with his protection.
Typically, a financial audit team would include assisting clerks or accounting staff...
Considering this was an audit of a giant like Grandis Academy, the party was pitifully small.
"...Finance Officer Marcus, did you receive any prior instructions?"
"What sort of prior instructions?"
"Are we not heading to Grandis Academy, of all places? The kingdom's greatest prestige! It's practically the size of a small city, and yet you are to handle its financial audit alone..."
"I simply follow the orders given by my superiors."
"Truth be told, I asked because I was tipped off. They said if anything comes up along the way, we're free to just turn back."
"That is... Wait. Who is that?"
"Huh?"
Without using teleport magic, the journey to Grandis Academy is a long one spanning several days. Marcus and the escort knight were chatting idly when someone came running toward them at a frantic pace.
The escort knight eyed the figure with suspicion and drew his sword, but as the person approached, the colors of his attire became visible.
It was the most common type of messenger found in the kingdom.
"A messenger? We are in the presence of Finance Officer Marcus. What is your business?"
"Hail! I am Cratel, messenger assigned to Grandis Academy!"
"The messenger assigned to Grandis Academy? What brings you here?"
"I was in the middle of searching for Finance Officer Marcus to deliver urgent news! Finance Officer Marcus! A disaster has occurred!"
"What kind of disaster?"
The messenger's serious expression drew looks of confusion from both the escort knight and Marcus.
The messenger, having closed the distance quickly with the aid of teleportation magic, shouted his news.
"A large quantity of hair-loss inducer has leaked near the academy! The cause was a failed experiment by a magic department professor! As a result, trading companies and visitors heading to the academy are turning back! I thought you should be informed, Finance Officer Marcus...!!"
"W-What? No, does that make any sense?"
"Well... I know this because I'm assigned to Grandis Academy, but explosions and collapses happen several times a day there. This is an entirely plausible accident."
"Huh, Finance Officer Marcus? What should we do?"
Though he was asking, the knight's eyes were full of reluctance. If it were anything else, maybe, but a hair-loss inducer? As a knight with a bright future, he had no desire to go bald at his age.
More importantly, he'd been told they could just turn back if anything happened. Given the atmosphere, Finance Officer Marcus had likely received similar instructions.
The reason was solid, and they hadn't traveled far, so turning back would cause no problems.
Yet Finance Officer Marcus's eyes were fixed resolutely ahead.
"We continue on."
"But sir!"
"It is a royal command. A hair-loss inducer is no reason to turn back."
As he spoke these words, Finance Officer Marcus's head was already completely bald.
He merely concealed it with a hat and wig normally; his body was already immune to things like hair-loss inducers.
Finance Officer Marcus continued toward the academy.
...He didn't forget to purchase a purification scroll for his escort knight along the way.
*
Bam!
"To think the damn finance officer would be bald...!!"
"What do we do now? Use Professor Kirke again?"
"No. Now that it's come to this."
"Now that it's come to this...?"
"This time, it's the Chairwoman's turn."
Alright, then. Let's see who comes out on top!