21. Salt Is God and Invincible

Equipment No. 2 made a noisy fuss over the specialty-grade salt before finally leaving the office. She was obviously angling for a sample, but I ignored her completely.

Still, the moment I mentioned that faster artifact production would mean bigger bonuses, she practically bolted out the door brimming with motivation. At least she was honest about it. I liked that.

With No. 2 gone, the office settled back into its usual quiet. Equipment No. 1 had already vanished into the darkness to continue her hair-loss research, and Milia had gone downstairs to handle other tasks.

A sense of finality washed over me. My fieldwork was genuinely over.

'It took longer than I'd expected, but oh well.'

The backlog was just part of the daily grind, and thanks to Milia handling things capably, it wasn't even that large. Besides, whatever remained would sort itself out by the time I woke up.

What nagged at me more than the paperwork was something else entirely.

"Chairwoman. You're here?"

"...Yes."

"Why are you so embarrassed?"

"I mean... foolish as it sounds, at my age, it was my f-first kiss."

So she knew it was foolish.

Obviously, I kept that thought to myself.

"Do you have any idea how frigid the atmosphere in the carriage was after you teleported away? There was no need to show Student Rus and Student Chloe—"

"Wouldn't the rumors spread much faster that way?"

"That's true, but still."

"They were going to find out eventually, so I gave them a preview. Now those kids under fifty won't get any presumptuous ideas."

By that logic, I wasn't much older than Rus or Chloe myself.

I looked at the Chairwoman with that thought in mind, and whatever she read in my expression made her blush and turn her head away.

"Anyway, did anything happen at the academy? You vanished so abruptly."

"...The Head of Academic Affairs handled it. There wasn't any real commotion."

"As expected of the Head of Academic Affairs."

So reliable, that Chairwoman zealot!

She came from a high noble house, was supremely competent, had a sterling career, and radiated charisma.

A fleeting thought crossed my mind—wouldn't the academy have fared better with the Head of Academic Affairs as its Chairwoman?—but I felt like she'd prefer serving as someone's right hand rather than occupying the top seat.

"Come to think of it, how did you meet the Head of Academic Affairs?"

"Nothing special. Twenty or thirty years ago, I persuaded her to work at the academy right after she graduated."

"Ah, she was a Grandis Academy graduate?"

"Her family was putting immense pressure on her back then. I felt sorry for her, so I had a few sharp words with them, and the family head kept bowing his head over and over. I scouted her on the spot, and the rest is history."

...The Head of Academic Affairs's family was a high noble house. Maybe not on the level of Margrave Gregory's County of Claudia, but they would have wielded enormous influence.

Even a house like that had to bow the moment the Chairwoman said a single word. Well, when the physical annihilation of your entire family is on the table, you bow. You have to.

If the Head of Academic Affairs had been suffering under that pressure, she would naturally see the Chairwoman as her savior—the one who freed her from her family and secured her a position.

Hmm, so that was the history.

"She also covered for your absence this time. Giving the Academic Affairs ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Department some consideration in the upcoming budget would be a good move."

"What?"

"No matter how blindly loyal someone is to you, they still need the occasional carrot and compensation."

"Well, that's true, but what kind of consideration... Oh!"

The Chairwoman let out an exclamation, as if she had just remembered something she'd briefly forgotten.

Had it completely slipped her mind? To be fair, since she did practically nothing at those events, it was understandable.

'The academy's first semester is nearly over.'

The midterms, the festival, the final exams—all of them were behind us. All that remained was the long-awaited vacation every student at the academy was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠waiting for. There was still a bit of time left, but from the students' perspective, the semester was effectively done.

From the faculty's perspective, however, it was anything but. Vacation didn't mean the staff got to rest.

Especially for me, as the Finance Director, one major event was still looming.

"The second-semester budget planning meeting is coming up."

"During the first semester, I was stuck on that, um, deep-sea fishing boat and couldn't attend."

"This time, you will naturally attend. All you have to do is sit there looking solemn. It likely won't pass quietly, but I'll handle all of that, so don't worry."

"Are you saying the budget meeting will get noisy? Why?"

"Because of the equipment—no, the Professor Kirke incident. The entire magic faculty took a pay cut, remember?"

"Ah."

It had happened a while ago now, but thanks to Professor Kirke's solo(?) Confession of Entrenched Privilege Abuse, the magic department professors had been hit with a pay-cut bomb. That cut became a healthy injection into the academy's finances.

The pay cut itself was here to stay, with no room to revoke it now. But precisely because of that, the magic faculty would show up to the departmental budget meeting more desperate than ever.

Especially since this meeting was irregular.

"Still, we can use the terrorist attack as a pretext to cut the entire department's budget, so even if it gets noisy, it'll be fine."

"...The terrorist attack turned out to be surprisingly beneficial."

"I plan to milk it for all it's worth as justification going forward."

The academy had been bombed and was currently rebuilding. Anyone shouting for a bigger budget right after their own pay got cut? That would just make them look insane.

Of course, the professors wouldn't stay completely silent, given their research and livelihoods were at stake, but they wouldn't be able to raise their voices much either. Not with the Chairwoman—who had personally hunted down and killed the 7th Rank terrorist mastermind—sitting right in front of them.

In the first place, the regular departmental budget planning meeting was an annual event. This second-semester budget meeting was a special session called under the pretext of the attack. Otherwise, it wouldn't even be happening.

'And once the overall budget is lowered, it'll stay that way into next year.'

Using the reconstruction costs as justification, I'd slashed the overall budget by nearly forty percent. That meant the total pool of money the professors were fighting over had already shrunk, no matter how viciously they battled each other.

Moreover, reconstruction wouldn't finish in a mere half-year, so they'd probably have no grounds to complain if I kept the budget this lean well into next year.

Naturally, that missing forty percent would go straight into rebuilding the academy's finances.

The Chairwoman looked deeply ambivalent about the fact that the attack was actually saving the academy's coffers, but anyway.

"Shall we practice in advance, then?"

"Huh? Practice?"

"This will be our first official public appearance together. Shouldn't we coordinate how we'll act ahead of time?"

"First... th-th-that kind of thing, you mean."

I didn't mean our literal first public appearance. We'd already had the entrance ceremony. I was talking about our first official appearance since we'd agreed on this 'fake lovers' arrangement.

This was the setting where I'd need to discreetly advertise our romantic relationship through physical contact with the Chairwoman, in order to protect myself.

The second-semester budget meeting would be the perfect venue.

"Th-th-then."

"You're stuttering a lot."

"A k-kiss again...?!"

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh...? Was kissing a granny like me really so unappealing?"

"Stop with the bizarre persecution complex. We need ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to reveal things gradually. If we floor it right from the start, how will that look?"

I was prepared for the rumors to catch fire, but a kiss was going way too far. Maybe later, but since this was our first time showing ourselves, moderation was key.

...Perhaps I could only think like that because I wasn't serious about this relationship. After all, from the Chairwoman's perspective, even if it's fake, she was becoming lovers with the person she'd confessed to.

'Fine.'

A soft whisper of movement.

A sharp crack!

"F-Finance Director?!"

"Relax your strength. That genuinely hurts like hell."

"S-sorry..."

Did I just hear a bone fracturing? Was holding hands really that shocking?

The Chairwoman hastily infused me with ki to heal it, so it was fine. This was nothing compared to my first year as Finance Director, when her playful punch snapped my forearm.

Damn this 1st Rank body...

*

A low buzz of chatter filled the air.

"A familiar ceiling."

"Quit your shit and get ready. We can't miss this opportunity."

"How can every single representative show up looking exactly the same?"

"You're a chosen representative too. Grit your teeth and endure."

It was the weekend, and every professor at the academy had gathered in the main conference hall.

As always happened when over a hundred people assembled in one place, the hall was instantly packed with murmuring voices and idle chatter. The scene stirred a sense of déjà vu.

The same hall. Right before this semester began, before the entrance exams, we'd been here for the departmental budget planning meeting.

"Well, it's been half a year. Professor Ruster."

"Don't deliberately use the exact same words as last time. Professor Elpinbaiser."

"Both of you, please stop that idiotic bickering every time we meet."

"Professor Ariel, you're the youngest here. Could you drop the precocious act?"

"You all act like genuine children, so I have no choice."

Professor Ruster of the Magic Department, Professor Elpinbaiser of the Martial Arts Department, and Professor Ariel of the Administration Department.

Half a year ago, these three had played the role of fighting cocks in this very hall—shameless, loud-mouthed, and uniquely brazen talents (?) representing their respective departments.

But unlike Elpinbaiser or Ariel, who seemed relatively relaxed, the most desperate-looking one was Professor Ruster, whose leg hadn't stopped bouncing this whole time.

"Professor Ruster? Aren't you a bit too fidgety? You should take some supplements. Oh, that's right. You can't afford them, can you?"

"Ariel... Professor."

"Professor Ariel, that's a bit much. Weren't the magic professors always so refined? Surely they can survive on nothing but morning dew."

"...You've really made up your minds, haven't you."

A fifty-percent pay cut for ten years.

After Kirke's Confession of Entrenched Privilege Abuse, the punishment handed down to the magic faculty had literally halved their livelihoods.

Those from noble backgrounds or already wealthy might manage, but for professors who had grown accustomed to Grandis Academy's nearly giveaway-level support, it was a devastating blow.

Professor Ruster was one of them. He was the classic magic professor—entrusted his living expenses to his salary, then poured every spare coin into his magic research.

The man had been forced to cut his beer consumption in half, a once-small joy. His eyes were bloodshot.

"Watch your mouth. Behind me stand all those professors living on ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠dew."

"Considering the entrenched privilege you've been gorging on all this time, I'd say we haven't reached a balance yet."

"Are you planning to lodge a protest with the Chairwoman? Please, be my guest. It'll be an excellent spectacle."

"You sons of..."

But as furious as Ruster was, the jealousy and hatred the Martial Arts and Administration departments held toward the magic faculty was equally immense.

At every single budget meeting, the Magic Department had taken nearly half the funds, enjoyed lavish perks and the highest status simply because they had the most members, and on top of that, benefited from that egregious welfare policy that let them claim personal ownership of their research results. It was an entrenched privilege.

Resentment over the unequal treatment had festered inevitably, and the Professor Kirke incident had detonated it all. Of course, not every professor in Martial Arts or Administration was openly sneering like Elpinbaiser or Ariel, but the underlying sentiment was real.

"So, where is our honorary Martial Arts professor?"

"She's also the honorary Administration professor. Professor Kirke—I don't see her?"

"...Professor Kirke is secluded in her lab, absorbed in research."

"You didn't bully her into hiding, did you?"

"I most certainly did not!"

"Don't shout. It makes you look weak."

In fact, Professor Kirke—essentially the root cause of this entire mess—had long since barricaded herself in her lab.

I'd heard she had a lengthy consultation with the Finance Director and the Chairwoman, but after the hair-loss medicine incident during the festival, she'd gone into complete seclusion. No one could even voice their complaints to her.

Kirke had already become a public enemy within the Magic Department, but that only applied when she was visible. After over a month, then two months of staying holed up in her lab without a single sighting, the whole "public enemy" thing had fizzled out.

There was a bizarre rumor going around that she was occasionally spotted sunbathing by sticking only her head out of the Finance Director's office window, but that couldn't possibly be true.

"This time... I fully intend to secure a larger budget than before. Prepare yourselves."

"The total budget shrank because of the terrorist attack. If you want to take more than the sixty percent you grabbed at the last meeting..."

"What, are you suggesting we give no budget at all to Martial Arts and Administration?"

"That wouldn't be a bad idea!"

A silent war of glares erupted between Ruster, Elpinbaiser, and Ariel. Even the professors in the back rows, who had been chattering noisily, fell silent and shot hostile looks at the other departments.

In the unprecedented aftermath of the academy's terrorist attack, a second budget planning meeting had been convened—one that normally would never have happened.

How much each department secured this time would determine the funding ratios for this year, and possibly even into the next. That was why none of the professors could afford to back down.

Amid that mounting tension.

"The Chairwoman is arriving. All rise."

"""All rise!"""

The Head of Academic Affairs entered first, her solemn voice issuing the command. Every professor rose from their seats in unison.

The doors to the main conference hall swung open.

"After you, Chairwoman."

"Yes... Finance Director."

".........?"

Unlike anything they had shown before, the Chairwoman and the Finance Director walked in together, their hands clasped affectionately.

Even the Head of Academic Affairs looked utterly flabbergasted, as if this was the last thing she'd expected.

"The Chairwoman and the Finance Director...?"

"Their age gap is seven times over... Gahk!?"

"P-Professor, what's wrong with you all of a sudden? Wait, seven times? That'd be like me dating a single-digit brat— Hack!?"

A few professors abruptly collapsed for inexplicable reasons, but the sight of the Chairwoman and Finance Director together was so shocking that the minor incident caused no real commotion.

The Finance Director looked relatively composed. The Chairwoman's face was dyed a vivid crimson.

By outward appearance alone, the Chairwoman actually looked younger, but every professor here knew far too well what kind of person she was. That was the problem.

"Has the Chairwoman finally devoured the Finance Director?"

"Poor man. I respect the Chairwoman, but as a romantic partner, well..."

"If my great-grandmother were alive, that's about the age she'd be."

"I joined this academy thirty years ago... and she's seeing a man younger than that..."

"The Finance Director drew the short straw. Still, if it improves the Chairwoman's mood, isn't that a good thing?"

"What is he, a sacrificial offering? ...Actually, now that I think about it, you're right. Good grief."

A few professors, unable to contain their words any longer, voiced genuine pity, or turned their heads away as if they'd witnessed something unsightly, or openly sympathized with the Finance Director.

Even Ruster, Elpinbaiser, and Ariel—who had been fighting like mortal enemies—shook their heads in complete unity.

It was a stroke of fortune that the Chairwoman was so frantically focused on the hand she was holding with the Finance Director that she missed most of the comments. Only a few tactless souls who spoke too loudly or were unlucky enough to be overheard ended up fainting.

If she'd heard everything, the entire faculty would have been knocked unconscious, making the budget meeting itself impossible.

They had succeeded in displaying that their relationship was far from ordinary, exactly as the Chairwoman and Finance Director intended.

But something felt a little... off.