Woohyo, I Picked Up the Red-Eyed Mad Dog!
“Irina, I still don’t understand this.”
After teaching Choon-sik the pleasures of her new female body and sending her on her way, Irina sat smoking a cigarette to settle her excitement. That was when Sebas spoke up.
“If you stepped in personally, you could obtain Woo Hyun-woo with ease. So why entrust the task to Choon-sik? You even ordered her not to lay a hand on him directly.”
Irina had certainly said she wanted Woo Hyun-woo. Yet she refused to act herself. She had even instructed Choon-sik to keep her hands off him and leave everything to the Money Monster. Who could possibly make sense of that?
“Oh my? Did I say that? That Choon-sik wasn’t to touch him directly?”
“You most certainly did. You kept sending Choon-sik away while imprinting the order like brainwashing.”
“Hmm… Why on earth did I do that?”
Irina scratched her head as if the memory had completely vanished, then took a long drag from her cigarette and laughed.
“Ah! No idea. But how about we try guessing from here on out?”
Cigarette smoke slipped from her lips. Like that smoke, Sebas felt the sudden urge to sigh. This was typical Irina. She would commit some act, forget all about it, and then begin theorizing her own motives.
“For starters, the human known as Irina Saikorman loves to enjoy herself, doesn’t she? Taking something by force isn’t entertaining. It’s far more amusing to corrupt the target bit by bit, ever so slowly.”
“That does sound exactly like you.”
“So perhaps telling Choon-sik not to touch him directly means I had some clever plan in mind. But I can’t recall what it was. Will I even be able to sleep like this?”
“You must rest properly. There is a limit to how well makeup can hide those dark circles.”
“Oh my, was I wearing makeup? I was under the impression I was a beautiful girl who needs none.”
“That was the previous body, not this one. I have served you since the last body, so I know very well.”
“Aha! I swap bodies so frequently that I lose track completely~”
Irina Saikorman. She had changed bodies so many times it was impossible to count. Her soul had worn thin until she lost her original essence. Only madness remained. Without an essence, the madness never faded. On the contrary, as fragments of various souls mixed together, the madness had only grown larger. The greed born from that madness sometimes made her foolish, yet at other times it rendered her meticulous and vicious.
“So? What were we talking about again?”
“Why you refuse to seize Woo Hyun-woo by force.”
“Ah! That. I just remembered something.”
“What is it?”
Carpe Diem is watching you from everywhere…
“I sent that message three times. The kind that leaves you uncertain the first time, gives you chills the second, and fills you with dread by the third. That much I remember. I was definitely planning to connect this message with Geumnara Saikorman to torment him!”
“It’s Geum Tae-yang. And his name is Geumnara.”
“Didn’t I say Geumnara Saiko?”
“You said Eun-nara Saikor…”
“Oh dear. It seems I’m not in my right mind right now? Or perhaps I never was?”
The times when Irina grew even more erratic than usual came after she experienced intense excitement and her brain became flooded with excess dopamine. In those moments she possessed no trace of cold reason. She would forget what era she existed in, what she had been doing, and sometimes even who she was. That was why Sebas the butler existed—to handle those times.
“Irina, it would be best if you slept soon.”
“Yes. I should sleep. But I loved Choon-sik so much that sleep won’t come.”
“Then I shall put you to sleep.”
Sebas pulled a syringe from his coat.
“Enjoy another reality as you slumber.”
“Wow! It’s the Red-Eyed Mad Dog!”
After filling our bellies with hearty soup, we arrived at Geumtaeyang Textiles. The reason was simple. Since it was a textile factory, I figured they might know a thing or two about clothes. We weren’t expecting them to manufacture anything themselves, but they might at least know a workshop that could design high-class outfits at a reasonable price. Eris was the boss in name, after all. Shouldn’t there be at least one outfit made specifically for her?
Yet for some strange reason, right at the entrance of Geumtaeyang Textiles, Eris picked up a rare Duel King card—the Red-Eyed Mad Dog.
◈ A legendary monster card said to possess infinite potential
◈ So rare that finding one abandoned is almost impossible
“Who the hell would throw away a Red-Eyed Mad Dog? This is an insanely rare card!”
It was honestly a little pathetic watching the boss of an organization get this excited over a single Duel King card, but… well, if Eris was happy, that was enough.
“In that spirit—hey, security guy? I’m here to see the president.”
The guard flinched the moment he saw me. Now that I thought about it, this guard’s combat power was 80. Not many ordinary people reached anywhere near that number. Even among the Banana Man’s crew, only that guy Mitsu had been close. It seemed Geum Tae-yang employed fairly strong civilians as guards. So it wasn’t just for show.
“Ah, yes. I’ll inform the president right—”
The guard flinched again, probably because the spot where I had hit him earlier was still throbbing. Before he could finish, the door flew open and Geum Tae-yang burst out.
“Aigoo! If it isn’t our President Woo! Welcome!”
You’re the president, so why are you calling me that? It was ridiculous, but since he greeted me so warmly I simply nodded.
“Well, I’m not the president, but yeah, I’m here.”
“Wait, that’s really Geum Tae-yang? The blonde tanned bastard?”
Yu Jin-ri stared in shock at his appearance.
“Yu Jin-ri, that sort of language is rude.”
“Why is it rude? I just called a blonde tanned bastard exactly what he is.”
Siz scolded her, but Yu Jin-ri stubbornly kept calling him a blonde tanned bastard. Honestly, she wasn’t wrong. Why shouldn’t we call Geum Tae-yang a blonde tanned bastard? It wasn’t like he was Hong Gil-dong who couldn’t call his own father “father.”
“Blonde tanned bastard? What does that mean?”
Our dear Geum Tae-yang asked with completely innocent eyes. Wait… was that tan even real? Or was his skin naturally that color?
“Never mind. More importantly, I need clothes for my Boss Lady. Know any workshops that can make them cheap with special service?”
“Boss Lady? You mean that young girl is Eris Selenor?”
Eris stood there beaming, clutching the Red-Eyed Mad Dog card. Geum Tae-yang took one look at her and burst out laughing.
“Aigoo! President Woo, your sense of humor is fantastic!”
What the hell is funny? Stop clutching your stomach, you crazy bastard.
“The Eris Selenor I know was a man whose entire being was ruled by swagger even without any real power. Quite the cool fellow. Definitely not the type to get excited over a child’s toy.”
“Yeah, so I’ve heard. I only know the stories, though.”
“No way… You’re not joking?”
Geum Tae-yang looked stunned. When I nodded, he shut his mouth and started glancing at me nervously. Why are you looking at me with those eyes?
“So you didn’t join the organization because you admired the cool Eris, but because you saw a girl like that… I will respect President Woo’s preferences.”
“Want to have a little chat with my fists?”
You’re turning me into a pervert here.
“This isn’t the time for jokes, so just tell me already. Unless you want to die.”
“No need to tell you anything. I can make the clothes myself.”
“You can?”
“Yes! Believe it or not, I’m a well-known designer in the fashion world.”
It really doesn’t suit you at all, you crazy bastard. Still, when someone offers to make the clothes personally, you can’t exactly call them crazy to their face. I had no choice but to accept politely.
“How could I refuse President Woo, whose heart is as vast as the sky? Now, Miss Selenor? Shall we go have some fun together?”
“Fun? Are we going to play Duel King?”
“Duel King is fun. I like it too.”
“Ohh! You’re a duelist despite how you look!”
“But I’ll show you something even more fun than Duel King. It’s a whole new world.”
“Something more fun than Duel King? No way, I don’t believe it!”
“Once you experience it, you’ll understand. You won’t be able to escape.”
“Fine! I’ll specially let myself be fooled this once and enjoy it!”
Why did the whole conversation sound so ominous? Was it because the guy looked exactly like a classic blonde tanned bastard?
“Hyun-woo… Is it really okay to send Eris off with him like that?”
“You were the one lecturing us about manners earlier. Why the sudden change?”
“Yu Jin-ri, after hearing that conversation, I’ve changed my mind. Perhaps you were right after all.”
“Hehe, you finally recognize my genius. Of course my words are always correct!”
“Stop bullshitting. Siz, you calm down too. Even if he looks like that, Geum Tae-yang is actually extremely diligent and—”
“Kyahaha! That tickles! What are you doing? Kyahaha♥”
“See? Eris is clearly in danger right now, isn’t she?”
“To enjoy the pleasure, one must first understand Miss Selenor’s body. Just wait a moment, okay?”
“H-he said he’s getting to know her body? Great discovery… As expected of Geum Tae-yang…”
“No, he’s literally just taking her measurements. It’s all out in the open, so why are you two acting like this?”
“That’s what you don’t understand! Great discovery, great discovery! With Geum Tae-yang, just taking measurements might be enough to send someone straight to Hong Kong on the express train!”
“Shut up with that nonsense. You’re making Siz anxious by saying crap like that.”
“If the genius Yu Jin-ri says so, then it must carry some weight…”
“Please believe me instead of believing the genius.”
While listening to Yu Jin-ri and Siz’s insane ramblings, Geum Tae-yang somehow finished the clothes at lightning speed and brought them over. As expected of this rootless world—the production speed was ridiculously fast.
“I made you an overcoat you can wear anytime. Since Miss Selenor seems to like capes, I made it extra long to give it that flowing cape-like feel.”
It was mostly black with red trim, an elegant coat. The length reached all the way to the legs, giving it a definite cape-like silhouette. It looked incredibly cool. Very boss-like.
“This is the fun I wanted to show Miss Selenor. What do you think?”
“Amazing! Amazing! I’m wearing a cape! I feel like a real boss now!”
“Boss Lady, you are the real boss.”
“Ah, that’s right! I am, aren’t I?”
Had I tormented her too much? Or was it the trauma from nearly committing suicide? Either way, Eris had even less awareness of her position as boss than when she had been a regular at the PC bang.
“Anyway! These clothes are incredible. They’re super cool!”
“When you’re that happy, you’re supposed to say ‘Woohyo lol I got the top-tier clothes in the district lol.’”
“What kind of speech is that? It’s so fun! Woohyo lol I learned the latest trending way of speaking lolol!”
That Geum Tae-yang bastard. He had been acting normal and then suddenly went crazy. What the hell was he teaching a kid? Just imagining Eris saying “woohyo” at every opportunity already made my head hurt. But he had made the clothes, and he really was a good guy, so I had no choice but to let it slide.
For now, I needed to head to the workshop and imbue the coat with phoenix feathers to grant it fire resistance.
“Thanks for the clothes. I’ll change that four-month installment plan to three months. Just pay a little extra for the next two.”
“R-really?! Sob sob, thank you, President Woo. Thank you. I will never forget this kindness for the rest of my life.”
Why was this considered kindness? Still, it wasn’t a bad thing to get close to a diligent and sincere boss. If Geum Tae-yang thought well of me, that was all that mattered.
After leaving Geumtaeyang Textiles and returning to the workshop, something unbelievable happened.
Eris danced around joyfully, waving the Red-Eyed Mad Dog card.
Why? Just why? Was it my imagination? Seeing the Red-Eyed Mad Dog sitting in the mailbox with no envelope whatsoever sent a chill down my spine. The distinct feeling that someone was watching me.
“Yu Jin-ri… Hurry up and make the staff and the clothes. I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.”