The Dryad's Branch and the Goblin Shaman's Skull
There were two problems. “I need a hundred-year-old dryad’s branch and a goblin shaman’s skull.”
One was that I couldn’t possibly win against monsters in a fight. “A hundred-year-old dryad? A goblin shaman? What are those?”
The other was that I had zero information about the monsters themselves. I’d never even heard of a dryad before. Goblins, sure, but a shaman variant was new to me.
“A dryad refers to a spirit that lives inside a tree. So rather than killing the spirit, what we actually need is a branch from a tree that’s housed one for over a century.”
“What do you even use the branch for?”
“A spirit is basically magi incarnate. Once it settles into a tree, that tree gradually becomes attuned to magi. Nothing makes a better medium for casting spells than wood that’s grown accustomed to magi.”
“How’d you figure that out?”
“Naturally, I formed a hypothesis and bought all sorts of materials to test it. That’s when I discovered how excellent a dryad’s branch could be.”
“Why specifically a hundred-year-old one?”
“I still don’t know how to process branches from dryads older than that. Anything younger won’t work as a medium at all.”
Makes sense. If her research was incomplete, that was entirely possible.
“Don’t you already have some made? No point making another one if you already know how.”
“Well… I talked a big game, but I can’t actually guarantee I’ll be able to finish this one.”
What was she saying now? She’d acted like she could make anything as long as I brought the materials.
“I was captured right before I could complete the wand-crafting apparatus. There were only two methods left to try, and when one failed, it destroyed all the materials I’d prepared.”
“So you’re saying that if I bring the materials this time, there’s a good chance you’ll finally finish the apparatus?”
“Exactly! If this fails too, my research goes back to square one. Honestly, I really hope it works.”
This was worrying. She called herself a magi researcher, but aside from graduating university young, she had zero accomplishments to her name. The only hope we had in this situation was this unreliable person. That was deeply concerning.
“Fine. I’m uneasy, but I’ll trust you for now. Anyway, what’s a goblin shaman? Why the hell do we need that creepy bastard’s skull?”
“Goblins are normally extremely low-intelligence. They’re idiots who just wander around in groups, acting on instinct.”
“I know that much. They’re basically like our big bro and the lady, right?”
“Wh-what?! Why is Eris a goblin? Eris doesn’t look like a goblin at all! Eris is so cute and lovable! Apologize to Eris right now, immediately!”
“Look at that. She thought I was insulting her appearance and started spouting nonsense.”
“Huh? You weren’t insulting her looks?”
“You were too busy stuffing your face with soup to hear anything but the word ‘goblin’?”
“By the way, why are you referring to yourself in the third person…?”
“Ah, there’s a reason for that.”
Only Siz and I knew the story of how Casey had turned into Eris. Yu Jin-ri didn’t, and unless Eris told her herself, we couldn’t explain it. Realizing what she’d just said, Eris’s face turned bright red.
“Uh, um, so I’m Eris, right? I was just calling myself by my own name? I said I was cute and lovable?”
“Yeah. Hyun-woo was pretty shocked. He had no idea his big bro lady was that stupid.”
“Ugh, at this rate, my dignity as the boss…”
There was never any dignity to begin with.
“This won’t do! From now on, Hyun-woo, you’re banned from teasing me!”
“That’s harsh. I only do it because I like you, big bro lady.”
“You like me? Th-then I guess it can’t be helped…”
Was she actually an idiot? Eris nodded seriously.
“You can keep teasing me! I’ll allow it!”
This was supposed to be a twenty-year-old guy? I didn’t want to believe it. I was at a loss for words at Eris’s intelligence, which never failed to shock me, when Siz tried to say something to me.
“Hyun-woo-nim.”
“Yeah?”
But after glancing at Yu Jin-ri, she shook her head.
“Never mind. There’s something I’d like to discuss with you alone later. Could you spare some time?”
What did she want to talk about? I didn’t know, but once I finished with Yu Jin-ri, I’d step out with Siz for a bit.
“Of course. We can talk after I’m done with Yu Jin-ri.”
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank me.”
If only everyone were as polite as Siz.
“Anyway, back to the conversation. So goblins are stupid. What about it?”
“Oh? That? Well, goblins are normally idiots, but goblin shamans are occasionally born as mutants with actual intelligence.”
“Just like Siz, who’s stuck between us.”
“Why is Siz the example? I’m the smart one here.”
“The fact that you don’t even realize why already proves you’re not that smart.”
“Hyun-woo, your personality is really something else.”
“Did you contribute anything to my personality? If not, keep explaining.”
“You’re the one who interrupted the explanation.”
Yu Jin-ri narrowed her eyes like she was sulking. Ah, I’d gotten so used to teasing Eris that I’d done it to her too. She wasn’t as simple as Eris, so this might be hard to fix.
“Ah, sorry. I just find bantering with you like this fun, so it slipped out.”
“H-huh…? Does that mean you find me fun?”
Huh? Why did she look pleased? I hadn’t meant it that way, but if she took it as a compliment, she could enjoy it all she wanted.
“You could say that.”
“O-oh… I’ve always been called a gloomy, unpleasant woman who’s no fun at all. This is kind of refreshing…”
What kind of life had she lived? It was almost pitiful.
“Great! If Hyun-woo finds bantering with me fun, then I’ll let you banter with me as much as you want!”
“The way you phrased that sounds kinda weird…”
In a different way from Eris, she was pitiful too. How neglected must she have been as a kid to get this excited over something so minor? Then again, it made sense. Kids usually liked playing without thinking, but Yu Jin-ri had probably spent her time researching and saying weird things. Still, she probably hadn’t blurted out sexual curiosity in front of other kids… or had she?
“Anyway! To continue the explanation, a goblin shaman’s skull contains a space that condenses magi. That’s why we need both the branch to channel magi and the skull to contain and concentrate it.”
“Do you know how to channel magi into a wand?”
“Theoretically, yes. Even though everything related to magic has disappeared, the basic theories of magi haven’t. The Heavenly Demon probably left them behind because knowing the theory alone wouldn’t let anyone actually use it.”
“Yu Jin-ri’s right.”
Eris nodded in agreement.
“Originally, the mages of Fantasia never used wands. They could cast magic without anything like that.”
“Exactly! So wands are just an auxiliary tool for practicing magi control. Since no one knows any concrete, practical methods for using magi anymore, practicing with a wand is the best option we have.”
“So no researcher has ever tried to create this auxiliary tool until now?”
“Right? When Fantasia was still powerful, they actively interfered whenever anyone tried. After it fell, no one cared enough to bother.”
Self-inflicted, in a way. Fantasia probably never expected to collapse so meaninglessly either.
“In conclusion, since the boss has magi poisoning, if we make a wand and she practices with it, she should be able to fight to some extent. Assuming my experiment succeeds, of course!”
“R-really?! Then I’ll be able to use magic like Mom and Dad?!”
“Ah, with the wand we’re making right now, the best you’ll manage is forming magi into spheres and shooting them.”
“I’ll be able to use stuff like Meteor too? Wow, amazing!”
“She’s not listening at all…”
Eris’s eyes were already sparkling with all sorts of wild fantasies. I couldn’t blame her. She must have always felt pathetic for not inheriting magic. How could she not be happy now that the moment to fulfill that long-held wish had arrived? It was probably on par with the moment I pulled out Choon-sik’s tongue.
“By the way, how much do a dryad’s branch and a goblin shaman’s skull cost?”
Fighting monsters for them seemed impossible, so buying them with money after beating up my debtors felt more realistic.
“Ah, well… those kinds of items usually go for whatever price the seller demands. Not many people are looking for them, and the sellers aren’t in any rush to sell.”
She wasn’t wrong. Those items didn’t spoil if left alone, and the three major syndicates could obtain them easily enough, so they had no reason to buy. At most, some weird collectors among regular people might pay a fortune for them. And since selling them wasn’t the sellers’ main business, they had no reason to let them go cheap either.
But that also meant there was room for negotiation. They didn’t need to sell, but they didn’t have a reason not to, either.
“Then I guess we should start by checking if anyone’s even selling them. After that, we’ll save up money and buy them. Fighting monsters is out of the question.”
“The real problem is the goblin shaman, not the dryad. Goblins born with intelligence are extremely rare specimens. There might not even be any on the market.”
“I already know how rare Siz is.”
“I also know how rare of a person I am.”
Now she was just shamelessly twisting things. Was this the rhetoric of a genius? My chest almost swelled with pride.
“Alright, now that we have some idea of what to do, let’s get started. Before that, I need to talk with Siz alone, so I’ll step out for a bit. Big bro lady, take your time eating. Yu Jin-ri, try to get closer to the big bro lady.”
“Mhm!”
“Of course. She’s both the boss I’ll be serving from now on and a patient I need to treat.”
There was plenty of time to talk with Siz. Eris had ordered three bowls, claiming she’d eat until she died, so it would take a while for her to finish. How was she even going to eat all that? The fact that it would all fit in that tiny body was just astonishing.
“Then let’s go, Hyun-woo-nim.”
Feeling a sense of mystery about Eris’s body, I stepped outside with Siz. After eating the soup, I felt like smoking, so I put one in my mouth.
“Does Siz smoke too?”
“I don’t. Please don’t mind me and smoke if you’d like.”
I lit the cigarette, took a drag, and asked,
“Are you ready to tell me what you wanted to say earlier?”
The smoke I exhaled filled the surroundings with a bitter scent. In her usual tired voice, Siz began to speak.
“It’s about why Lady Eris’s intelligence has declined so much.”
So there was a reason after all.
“Lady Eris was never that foolish or simple-minded before. For her age, she was incredibly thoughtful and careful with every action she took.”
And the story that followed was quite shocking.