The Boy Who Stepped Into the Light
The room held a sense of isolation far more suffocating than I had imagined from the outside. Despite it being midday, the wooden shutters over the window were tightly sealed, blocking out any real light. The air was thick with the smell of stale dust and aged mold, and a chill—devoid of any human warmth—clung to my skin.
I crouched down and stared at the boy, who was huddled in the corner with his head buried. His small shoulders trembled, tucked between his knees. He looked like a young beast cornered in a dead end, fleeing from a massive predator.
Watching him, a sharp ache bloomed in the corner of my chest. I had once spent my own days staring at nothing but walls.
I remembered my past: hiding in a cramped, single-room apartment to escape the scars left by my parents, trembling in fear as if the entire world were out to attack me, relying solely on the glow of a monitor to hide from reality. The small, hunched back before me was a mirror of who I used to be.
“…Hello?”
“…….”
The silence was absolute. Outside the room, Eve and the old woman were likely waiting with bated breath, but inside, this place felt like an island severed from the rest of the world. I decided not to rush. I couldn't perfectly understand what he was feeling, but I had been there once. There was a time when being hurt by others and locking myself away to play games was my entire life.
“Your grandmother is very worried about you. I heard you were going through a hard time, so I asked if I could check on you. I’m not from this village—just a traveler passing through—but could you talk to me for a bit?”
I tried to keep my voice deep and gentle, doing my best not to sound threatening. The boy had likely spent his entire life hearing only the high-pitched voices of women. The sound of a strange man’s voice seemed to prick at his instinctive wariness, however slightly. He lifted his head, very slowly.
“…A man?”
The voice that slipped out was tiny, no louder than a mosquito’s hum. I didn't miss it.
“That’s right. A man, just like you.”
Only then did the boy lift his head completely. In the darkness, his eyes were like those of a frightened deer. Was he twelve or thirteen? He looked much smaller than I had expected. It was too dark to see clearly, but his skin was so pale it looked almost translucent—perhaps from poor nutrition, or perhaps from having gone without sunlight for too long. He stared blankly at my face, then his gaze traveled to my broad shoulders and thick neck before he parted his lips again.
“Are you… really a man? Mom said… that there were no men left.”
“There aren’t many, but it’s not like there are none at all. I’m here, and you’re here, aren’t you?”
The boy stared at me for a long time, as if my very existence were a marvel. Growing up under his mother’s extreme teachings—that ‘men are dangerous’ or ‘women are beasts’—the appearance of an adult male must have been both a shock and a source of curiosity. I sat down on the floor in a cross-legged position to match his eye level.
“What’s your name?”
“…E-Emil.”
“Emil? I’m Jaero.”
“…Jaero-hyung?”
“Yeah. Call me hyung.”
The word ‘hyung’ rolled awkwardly off Emil’s lips. It was a word he likely never had the chance to use in his life. Startled by the sound of it, Emil curled back into himself.
“Did… Grandma send you? To drag me outside?”
“No, she just asked me to have a chat with you. She said you don’t have to come out if you don’t want to; she just wants you to feel a little more at ease.”
Emil narrowed his eyes, as if he couldn't believe me.
“You’re lying. The women in this village are all the same. Every time they look at me… they have scary eyes. Like I’m a monster they want to devour. Mom told me. If I give my heart to women too easily, they’ll eat me up until nothing is left.”
Deep terror permeated Emil’s voice. He said he had lived in the city with his mother when he was younger. I didn't know why they had left, but it seemed he had been tormented by the women there.
In a world where men were in extreme short supply, it was obvious what the village women’s gazes toward a young boy would be like. To them, Emil was a precious child, but at the same time, he was a ‘valuable seed’ and an ‘object of desire.’ Whether he liked it or not, he had lived his life receiving the goodwill and malice of countless people all at once.
I didn't force a denial of Emil’s fear. Instead, I pulled an energy bar wrapped in silver foil from my pocket. I held it up carefully, as if handling a precious treasure.
“Emil, do you see this? This is a food that was legendary back in the days of civilization, called the ‘Essence of Nutrition.’”
Emil’s gaze locked onto the shimmering silver wrapper. Since it was made of a material similar to the mirror-like foil he’d seen at the Village Chief’s house, it was impossible for him not to be curious. I lowered my voice and began to spin a long, elaborate tale.
“Do you know how incredible this food is? People used to line up endlessly just to get a taste of it. The world’s greatest chefs gathered to make it, and no matter how many people they hired to produce it, there were always more who wanted it—it was always in short supply. It’s sweet, savory, and they say the moment you put it in your mouth, you can see heaven.”
I peeled the wrapper off the energy bar very, very slowly in front of Emil’s face. I swallowed hard, staring at the exposed bar.
“Ah, just looking at it makes me want to eat it so badly. I’ve only had it once, but I still can’t forget the taste and the aroma.”
I toyed with the energy bar, acting as if I were reluctant to part with it. Emil swallowed his saliva, his eyes fixed on my fingertips. To Emil, who had lived in darkness without a single ray of light, the ‘taste of heaven’ I described was an irresistible temptation.
“…Hyung, is it really that delicious?”
“Need you ask? I’ve been saving this, too. But to celebrate meeting you, I’ll give you a special bite.”
The brown, solid bar was revealed as I peeled back half the silver foil. I brought the energy bar to Emil’s lips. Emil was tense, his mouth opening as if making the decision of a lifetime—and just as he was about to bite down!
Whoosh.
“Huh?”
I pulled the energy bar back, preventing Emil from tasting it.
“Ah, it’s such a waste…. What do I do?”
“Y-you’re mean.”
“It’s just one bite, so don’t eat too much, okay?”
“…Okay.”
Emil carefully opened his mouth again and took a bite of the energy bar.
Emil’s mouth moved as he chewed. I watched him with a face full of expectation. But not even three seconds later, Emil’s brow furrowed violently.
“Ugh…? Is this really the kind of taste people line up to eat?”
Emil swallowed the bar without even chewing it properly, his face twisted in disgust. He glared at me with eyes full of betrayal.
“Hyung… you liar! What is this? It tastes weird, it’s chalky, it smells…. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever tasted! You said I’d see heaven the moment I put it in my mouth? You tricked me, didn’t you?”
Emil seemed angry at having been deceived. I understood. I couldn't forget the terrible, earthy taste I’d felt when I first ate one, either. I only ate it because there was nothing else to survive on; otherwise, I never would have touched it again. I looked at Emil calmly, without panicking.
“Yeah, you’re right. Actually, it was all a lie.”
At my blunt admission, Emil opened his mouth as if he were speechless.
“This isn’t food from heaven, and it’s not a delicacy people lined up for. It’s just compressed rations that taste like dirt, something you force yourself to chew and swallow for survival. But Emil, you believed me just now, didn’t you? Because I explained it so elaborately, you believed it would be that way and put it in your mouth. But now that you’ve tried it yourself, how is it? What you heard and what you experienced yourself are completely different, aren’t they?”
Emil stared down at the piece of energy bar in my hand with a blank expression. I carefully placed my hand on his shoulder.
“The world is the same. The things your mother said to protect you probably aren’t all wrong. But that’s not the whole world. You judged the world to be ‘scary’ just by listening to your mother’s words, without ever going outside and having a proper conversation with the women there. Just like how you believed this energy bar was ‘heaven’ a moment ago.”
Emil’s pupils began to tremble. I put strength into my voice and continued.
“Not every woman is trying to hurt you. There might be people who want to make you their own or see you as an object of desire, but there are also people who genuinely worry about you and cherish you. The Village Chief who has looked after you, the villagers who worry about you…. Whether they are truly bad people or not is something you have to judge with your own eyes after meeting them yourself. Don’t lock yourself away in this narrow room just by listening to what others say.”
Emil was silent for a long time. It seemed as though the terrifying imagination his mother had planted in his head and the ‘truth of the dirt-taste’ he had just experienced were fighting a fierce battle in his mind. I hoped that my words—that most things are unknowable without direct experience—would open the bolt of the boy’s tightly closed heart, even if just a little.
“…You mean… I have to judge for myself?”
“That’s right. Even if it’s scary, you try going out slowly, little by little. You don’t have to change everything at once. If you need help, you can ask the Village Chief, or you can go out and run back home if you have to. The important thing is to just try going out first.”
It was the best persuasion I could offer. I wasn’t exactly a smooth talker capable of counseling anyone, so was it right for me to speak as if I knew it all?
But I wanted to help this boy if I could, as a way to repay the village’s hospitality. Watching the boy clutching his head in thought, I prayed desperately that my words had reached him.
“If I go out, what should I do? Even if I leave this room, I don’t really know how to do anything, and I’m weak….”
Had my words gotten through? I decided to push harder while I had the momentum.
“Once you go out, there will be something for you to do. I’ve seen how hard the villagers work.”
“R-really?”
“Of course! Or, if it’s too hard to talk to people and look them in the face right away, how about raising rabbits?”
“Yes? Rabbits?”
I thought of the rabbits in the shed. I figured that working with rabbits might involve less direct contact with other people.
“I don’t know much about rabbits.”
“Oh? You don’t know rabbits?”
“Well, to be precise, I’ve eaten rabbit meat, but I don’t know what a live rabbit is like. And I don’t know how to raise them.”
He hadn’t even seen the rabbits in the village—that was how little he’d left his room.
“Rabbits are very small and cute animals. You just need to feed them grass and vegetables, and the others will probably know better how to raise them.”
That was the extent of my explanation, since I’d never raised a rabbit myself. But had it piqued Emil’s curiosity? His face seemed much more relaxed than before.
“I’ll trust you, Hyung, and try going out.”
“You don’t have to push yourself too hard.”
“…It’s still a bit scary, but I’ll try.”
“Yeah! Let me know if you need help.”
“Actually, I felt stifled in this situation, too. But I was scared and couldn’t find the courage…. But I guess I have to go out now…. But I have one request.”
“What is it?”
“…When I walk around outside, could you come with me?”
“Sure, that’s not a hard thing to ask.”
“Th-thank you.”
At my answer, Emil nodded and stood up. His legs stumbled, perhaps because he hadn’t walked in a long time, and he couldn’t stand properly at first. Still, the boy took a step toward the door, slowly, very slowly.
He took one step after another and grabbed the doorknob. He took a deep breath and pulled the door open, little by little. A single ray of light, slowly leaking in from outside the room, rode the crack in the door and illuminated the boy’s instep. Emil stared down at the light for a long time before throwing the door wide open.
“…I’ll go. I’ll see for myself… if what you said is true.”
Creak.
With an unpleasant friction sound, Emil’s heart, which had been tightly shut for months, swung wide open. Emil squinted and flinched at the dazzling sunlight pouring in, but he never stepped back.
Outside the door stood the old Village Chief, weeping, and Eve was looking at me with a warm gaze. Emil stared at the old woman’s wrinkled face for a long time before opening his mouth softly.
“Grandma….”
“…….”
The old woman said nothing, slowly pulling Emil into an embrace as she shed tears. Seeing that, I felt like I might shed a few tears myself.
“You’ve done it. As expected of you, Jaero-nim.”
Eve whispered into my ear.
“Yeah.”
Emil and the old woman hugged for a long time.