The Art of Misunderstanding
Five men and women, ranging from their twenties to their fifties, were gathered in a dimly lit room. A woman in her twenties stepped forward to speak.
"Lately, the Grand Duke seems to sleep at the Grand Ducal Department every single night. He has not headed to the Gold Area even once after dark."
She then calmly read from a memo she had brought with her.
"Mary's foxes are solely responsible for guarding the Empress and the Princess. Furthermore, the security surrounding the Gold Area is incredibly tight; neutralizing the guards and breaking in is practically impossible."
A woman in her forties pulled out a floor plan sketched on a sheet of white paper.
"There are five main rooms within the Gold Area. Here is the shared bedroom of the Empress and Deviang, here is the Empress Dowager's bedroom, and here is Princess Joy's room. The remaining rooms are for multi-purpose use."
When the man in his fifties nodded in satisfaction, the woman in her forties continued.
"While infiltrating the Gold Area is difficult, there are absolutely no soldiers stationed inside. It is highly probable that Mary's foxes are absent from the interior as well."
A man in his thirties took over the report.
"Infiltrating the Gold Area from the outside is a daunting task. Magic circles designed to block powerful offensive magic are deployed throughout the palace's interior and exterior. Additionally, with the external guards on patrol, a breach from the outside is highly unlikely."
The man in his fifties asked, "Even in the dead of night?"
The man in his thirties replied with a troubled expression, "The situation might differ slightly late at night, but entering the interior would inevitably generate a loud noise."
The man in his fifties fell into deep thought.
'Carrying out the mission in broad daylight by breaking through the heavy security is impossible. That means we must execute it inside the Gold Area...'
With their home country pressuring them to attempt the assassination quickly, the man in his fifties did not have many options.
A man in his twenties, who had been quiet in the corner, stepped forward.
"What if we tried this instead?"
He pulled out a small wooden box from his chest pocket.
"With this, we can slip into the Gold Area without making a single sound."
Everyone stared at him.
After hearing the explanation of the item, the man in his fifties nodded.
"Excellent. This is far better than I expected."
He felt glad that he had included this man—who specialized in making tools for poison and assassination—in the team.
"How about we do this? The Gold Area is located on the topmost floor..."
He began to explain his plan in detail.
Everyone fell into deep thought as they listened.
"No other viable method comes to mind. What does everyone think?"
At the older man's question, they all nodded in agreement.
"It is highly risky, but there seems to be no other way. Since this is an operation to assassinate the Empress of a nation, some level of danger is unavoidable."
Then, the woman in her forties spoke up.
"Since everyone will be staying up late tonight for the New Year's Eve celebrations, perhaps it would be best to execute the plan tomorrow?"
The man in his fifties nodded.
"Let it be so."
It was the evening of the day I had suffered that massive nosebleed.
Before we knew it, the year was coming to an end.
"Ugh... His Holiness's sermon is so boring!"
Today was December 31st. In just a few hours, it would be the New Year. Because of this, we were currently attending the New Year's Eve service at The Holy See.
Every year, the imperial family attended this service to pray for prosperity and fertility in the coming year.
"Shh... Silence."
At Joy's grumbling, my mother-in-law, the Empress Dowager, immediately scolded her.
"Therefore, to obtain the salvation of El, one must do their utmost in their assigned position."
'Is the Pope... saying this on purpose for my benefit?'
"What would happen if a farmer abandoned his work to do something else? El has bestowed a calling upon each individual, and if one fails to keep it, they will surely face a great calamity."
'Give me a break...'
Just as that thought crossed my mind, I locked eyes with the Pope.
His gaze was definitely fixed on me. I simply shrugged my shoulders in response.
"Now, let us pray."
At the Pope's words, a grand, solemn melody began to echo through the cathedral.
"O El, the radiant God of Light. As we welcome the New Year like this..."
After the service concluded, we gathered in the great cathedral hall.
"Fufu, Happy New Year."
"And a blessed New Year to you, Mother."
My mother-in-law, her hair elegantly swept up, offered her blessings to Theodora before turning her gaze to me.
"May the heavens grant you a blessed New Year as well."
"I wish you a Happy New Year as well, Mother."
"Happy New Year, Big Sis! Happy New Year, Brother-in-law!" Joy chimed in energetically.
After exchanging New Year's greetings and lightly conversing with the imperial senators, we boarded our carriage and headed back to the Imperial Palace.
"So... the year has finally come to an end."
"Indeed it has."
It had been an incredibly eventful year. From Valorang's rebellion to the civil war with the Anti-Emperor Faction, it felt as though we had spent the entire year running breathless.
"But how are you feeling?"
At Theodora's words, I replied with a gentle smile. "Do not worry. I feel perfectly fine."
Theodora frowned slightly, clearly unsatisfied with my answer.
"Then please, get some sleep. No matter how much it is for the sake of the Empire, do you have any idea how much it worries me to see you pushing yourself to such extremes?"
I offered her an embarrassed smile. "But the swifter I review and authorize these matters, the faster the Empire can progress, can it not?"
In truth, if a necessary approval was delayed, both the Empire and its citizens suffered. Of course, thoroughness was also essential. When drafting a bill or establishing a new system, one had to meticulously examine every potential side effect.
"Sigh. Even so... what are the Empire and I supposed to do if you work yourself to the bone and collapse?"
With a sorrowful expression, she gently caressed my cheek.
"Uh... well..."
Feeling flustered by her increasingly intimate touch, I pulled my body back slightly.
"Pfft... Are you actually blushing right now?"
Seeing Theodora flash a bright, amused smile, I cleared my throat to compose myself. "Ahem... What if someone outside sees us?"
Theodora looked at me as if I were being absurd.
"Wouldn't they simply think we are a devoted couple?"
Unwilling to fall into Theodora's insidious trap, I shook my head firmly.
"You are the Empress. While marital harmony is important, you must maintain your imperial dignity."
She looked utterly dumbfounded.
"When I was a child, I distinctly saw Mother and Father embracing and kissing in their carriage, you know?"
'Uh...'
If I said the wrong thing here, I would end up insulting the late Emperor and my mother-in-law—or worse, the entire imperial lineage. I racked my brain to escape this awkward situation.
Ah, right. There was that.
"Theodora, did you happen to look over the details of the investment fund I gave you recently?"
As I abruptly changed the subject, she let out a soft, exasperated sigh.
"Honestly... you are truly hopeless. Yes, I reviewed it. What of it?"
At her blunt tone, I asked, "Did you notice anything unusual about it?"
Theodora thought for a moment, then shook her head. "No? Nothing stood out to me."
"Then that is a relief."
Theodora's face contorted into an amused expression, and she burst into a hearty laugh, her shoulders shaking.
"Pfft! Were you actually trying to change the subject just now? That was incredibly clumsy!"
I had been caught red-handed. Theodora found my clumsy attempt to divert the conversation so hilarious that tears actually welled up in her eyes.
"Haha... Seriously, you are a certified genius when it comes to politics, yet you are an absolute novice in matters of the heart, aren't you?"
Sure, laugh all you want. Having lived as a solo-since-birth virgin in this life, it was only natural that I was clueless about romance.
"Oh my? Are you sulking now?"
After laughing for a long time, she wiped the moisture from the corners of her eyes and spoke with a mischievous face.
"There, there, don't be cross. My teasing went a bit too far, didn't it?"
I replied in a flat, spiritless voice to deny it.
'Yeah, I'm a solo-since-birth virgin. So what? Did you pay for my meals?'
Those words rose up to my throat, but knowing they were not things to say to an Empress or a woman, I held them back with an effort.
"No, I am not sulking."
I quickly turned my gaze to look out the window. I absolutely detested this kind of teasing. Combining both my past and present lives, Theodora was much younger than me. Counting my past life's age, I was in my fifties. I was not some peer a twenty-year-old girl should dare to tease.
As I brooded over this, something slender poked my cheek repeatedly.
"See? You are sulking."
"I told you, I am not."
Just then, a pair of slightly cool hands cupped my cheeks. Gently turning my head, she forced me to lock eyes with her.
"Fufu. Do you have any idea what your face looks like right now?"
I replied grumpily, "What does it look like?"
"Like a puppy sulking because its master refuses to give it a treat."
My face flushed hot at those words. 'This girl...?'
As Theodora patted my head, I snapped back sharply.
"It seems... you require a proper lesson."
Instead of being intimidated, her cheeks flushed a delicate pink, and her eyes curved into a lovely smile. "My, my. And what sort of punishment do you intend to inflict upon me?"
I pulled her hands away from my cheeks and spoke coldly.
"You had best prepare yourself to not sleep a single wink tonight."
Not expecting me to say such a thing, she gasped in surprise.
—Hiccup.
I grabbed her chin, staring into her eyes as she suddenly began to hiccup. "Tonight, I shall make sure you understand exactly who is in charge."
Lately, she had been getting more and more insolent, and I had been thinking that I needed to teach her a lesson at least once.
"S-so suddenly? I mean... it is not that I object, but..."
Her red eyes trembled wildly as she stammered. I told her firmly:
"Once we arrive at the palace, follow me to the Grand Ducal Department."
"Pardon?"
"It seems I have been so preoccupied with Joy's tutoring lately that I have neglected your own education. You are the Empress, yet you possess no deep understanding of anything outside of basic administration."
In fact, she had not even fully mastered administration yet. Well, given the sheer volume of the material, memorizing all of it would be impossible.
"Tonight, I shall personally instruct you on diplomacy and international affairs. Do not even think of sleeping."
Besides, since I had consumed the Unicorn's Horn today, I did not think I would be able to sleep anyway.
—Tremble, tremble...
Not expecting this turn of events, Theodora's shoulders shook as she slowly raised her hand. Our eyes met.
With a face flushed bright red, she screamed at the top of her lungs:
"You are seriously the most clueless man in the entire world! Just go die!"
—Slap!
Her delicate hand smacked my cheek with perfect precision.