I Entered a Lewd Fantasy
“Mm… I’d rather not lose the title if I can help it. I’ve already wiped out every brother who might threaten the other holdings. In Cooking, you’ve got to go for a little incest, right? Perfect. I’ll get engaged to an aunt or an older sister, swallow their territory, then later acknowledge the kid as my bastard and fold the whole line under the family name…”
Cooking.
The god-tier otherworld strategy simulator.
Even vanilla it was already pure chaos, but I had custom-modded the hell out of it and plastered every adult and incest patch I could find on top.
That was how good it was. I’d been muttering to myself and playing for a solid month straight.
My last clear memory of the outside world was the start of vacation, and the time since had melted away like snow under spring sun.
“Haa…”
Click.
But even this binge had to end somewhere.
Just like a favorite food that suddenly turns your stomach, the moment finally came for me too.
“Yeah, well… I’ve enjoyed it enough.”
I had started as a dirt-poor noble house.
Parasitic diplomacy, endless breeding, Habsburg-style marriage loops—until I finally clawed my way to emperor.
Not only that: I had extracted the finest genes from every race in the world, claimed forty percent of the entire map, and through policy made the population explode in a golden age of pure fantasy.
I barely even fought wars.
And still the Heim family had already enjoyed five hundred years of peak prosperity.
It ended right here.
Like a human life, the proper way to finish was to bury it in memory.
Do you wish to force the suicide of the ‘Great Ruler’ Otto von Heim?
Yes / No
“Yes… Farewell, great Otto. Rest now.”
That was enough.
An emperor of peerless blood and peak genetics who had seduced every maiden on the continent.
A living disaster who kept every noble husband in the palace awake all night guarding his wife.
Even at the ripe age of one hundred twenty-seven he had still been grinding away on top of women’s lower halves.
I sent him off cleanly.
Zzzt… zzzzt-zzzt…
That was when it happened.
The moment I hit the suicide button, the letters on the screen twisted and warped.
I worried the monitor panel had finally died, but the noise soon resolved into clean new text.
Otto von Heim has died. All inheritance and player continuity now pass to the successor.
“…What?”
That was the message.
A perfectly ordinary in-game notice about inheritance transferring.
Something was about to begin.
Maybe a month of nonstop grinding in a filthy room, unwashed and unshaven, had finally reached the heavens.
Beginning a new journey now as Otto von Heim II.
White light erupted with the message.
A gentle warmth that almost felt like it was embracing my entire body.
…
…
…
…Hold on.
I really shouldn’t be entering a world this insane.
“…….”
I opened my eyes.
And I kept my mouth shut.
The reason I wasn’t speaking wasn’t because the language here was different.
Nor had I suddenly developed aphasia and forgotten how to make sound.
I was simply overwhelmed.
Bam— bam-bam-bam-bam-bam!
—Long live the great Otto von Heim II!
—Uoooooh! May the great Otto von Heim II reign forever!
—Oh my, oh my, look at that magnificent figure.
An imperial coronation.
Magical flower petals drifted endlessly from the sky, and the thunderous cheers showed no sign of stopping.
A massive carriage had entered the palace grounds, and twenty horses—symbolizing a proper adult age—held their necks high as they drew the throne on which I sat in elevated glory.
—Over here, young Emperor, just one glance this way!
—For the sake of fertility, wave your hand just once!
—Long live the young Emperor!
Every single cheer currently ringing out belonged to nobles alone.
This was inside the palace; commoners were not permitted entry.
I was overwhelmed.
It was exactly like a world from a game or a movie.
Clunk!
And the real event began the moment the horses halted before the colossal gates.
Thud! Thud! Thud!
Inside the gate.
Three sharp raps of a staff scraping the floor.
“Hear me! Who dares set foot in this place unbidden?!”
A solemn old man’s voice.
An elder demanding to know who was causing such a racket outside the gate.
A woman stepped forward in front of me.
Answering such a question myself would have been beneath the dignity of an emperor.
A young blonde woman whose very appearance radiated competence.
She adjusted her thin-rimmed glasses with elegant precision, then called out in a clear, ringing voice.
“Otto von Heim II! From this day forth the rightful master who ascends the imperial throne, and the sovereign whom we all must revere!”
“We still do not know who he is!”
“Then I shall tell you!
Otto von Heim II! Crown Prince of the Haral Empire, son of the great Otto von Heim! Crown Prince of Horrian, Bodalama, Slon, Harina, and Loren, Grand Duke of the Protectorate, Duke of Motama, Fatima, and Bando! Count of Tara, Niyu, Dragon Castle, Hormund, and the Curled Tail Tower, lifelong lord of Vint, and the sworn guardian who has vowed to protect the weak for all his days!”
“We still do not know who he is!”
“Then I shall tell you!
Otto von Heim II! The authority who alone may exercise unmatched rights within the Council of the Twelve of the World, the sole sun in the heavens who holds the right to meet the Saintess who governs the moon! Supreme commander of the Empire’s Valkyrie Iron Cavalry, and the diplomat who alone holds negotiation rights with the elves of the Sky World Tree! The iron mace that punishes the Demon Realm, and the sharpest spear aimed at the hearts of the demonkin!”
“We still do not fully understand. Have you omitted anything else?”
At last the blonde woman closed her eyes for a moment, then finished:
“And finally, he is the friend of the beastkin who so dearly love fox tails.”
“Then enter.”
Rrrrrumble…
With those words the gates opened.
After that grand performance, the interior beyond the gate was slowly revealed.
Holy… shit.
The phrase “jaw-dropping” existed for moments exactly like this.
A vast hall with chandeliers hanging like stars.
The space inside the gate was even larger.
A massive carriage drawn by twenty snorting horses entered, yet it felt like a miniature toy from a child’s playset by comparison.
A hall of breathtaking splendor.
An imperial audience chamber large enough to hold a thousand people with ease.
“Rise!”
The moment I stood from the throne atop the carriage, the woman in front of me called out crisply, and everyone immediately bowed at the waist.
I stepped down and walked the red carpet; the knights dropped to one knee, and a priest set the imperial crown upon my head.
Until I finally ascended the high dais where the enormous throne waited, not a single person dared look me in the eye.
Thud.
The tension only released once I sat upon the throne.
“The nineteenth Emperor of Haral has ascended!”
The declaration that I had become emperor.
Only then did the thunderous cheers, applause, and music explode all at once.
—Congratulations!
—Long live Otto von Heim II!
—Young Emperor! Long live, long live, long long live!
—Long live the Emperor!
A clean, commanding view from above.
A gaze that looked down so thoroughly that everyone else truly seemed insignificant.
I had never experienced this before.
Standing at a height I had never known in my life, one thought rose unbidden.
Power tastes pretty damn good, doesn’t it?
I was instantly intoxicated.
After personally forcing the previous emperor’s suicide, I dove straight into the life of Emperor II.
*
“Your Majesty, your advisor Gillin presents herself.”
The blonde introduced herself as Gillin.
True to her role as my direct advisor, she knelt and offered formal respects right in front of me, then climbed only a single step toward the throne.
“Outside, voices are already celebrating the birth of the new emperor. Would you care to go out together?”
“Ah, of course.”
An emperor needed fan service too.
Besides, I was curious just how much like insects the commoners would look from this castle.
With Gillin at my side I stepped out onto the window—more of a cozy balcony, really—and the sight was truly spectacular.
—H-He’s come out!
—Your Majesty! His Majesty has shown his face!
—Kyaaaaaaah! I-I think he looked at me!
—The great Otto von Heim II! May the Heim family endure forever!
They were packed solid.
Stepping out into that space, I finally understood what it meant for hundreds of thousands of people to gather in one place.
Haha, they really do look like worthless bugs. Feels amazing.
The height that pretended to face the citizens openly while making the hierarchy crystal clear.
A truly excellent device designed so that no one would dare overstep the station that matched their lot in life.
“What a fine picture.”
“Truly, congratulations, Your Majesty.”
“But my hand hurts. Do I have to keep waving?”
“It is only for show anyway—performative governance. You may stop whenever you wish.”
“Good. My hands are precious.”
“Ah! In fact, there is something far more effective and delightful than waving.”
“Hm?”
She smiled.
My personal advisor Gillin curved her lips into a perfectly clean arc and said,
“Since it is such a fine day, why not drop your trousers right now and publicly stroke yourself toward the commoners as a blessing?”
“………………Huh?”
My brain blue-screened for a second.
But Advisor Gillin was not joking.
She smiled sweetly again, as if she truly hoped I would, and pressed once more.
“It is a wonderful day, so please drop your trousers at once and give them one good, refreshing stroke, Your Majesty.”
She urged me.
My advisor stepped closer as if she might yank my pants down herself.
…Shit, that’s right.
I had forgotten for a moment.
Buried under the grandeur of the coronation, I had completely forgotten.
This was not a normal world.
This was the batshit insane world I myself had created.
+ + +
I did not stroke it to the end.
Even so, an emperor who finished his coronation and immediately dropped his pants to jerk off would have sent his authority crashing straight into the dirt.
Come to think of it, in this culture sex itself is considered a sacred act, right? Or was it a religion…?
Wait—does that mean every single event I stuck in for fun has been fully applied?
I kept walking while thinking that.
I told my advisor I felt unwell and would return to my chambers for a while.
I had intended to sort the situation out on that side, when—
Flinch!
A woman stood in front of the place I had been guided to.
Triangular ears.
Platinum blonde hair so fine that a single strand looked expensive enough to sell.
A height that easily exceeded 180 cm, yet somehow she still gave off a delicate impression.
Calling her merely “beautiful” would have been an insult.
“……You’ve come.”
The only proper description for a female of a fantasy world was that she was ridiculously fuckable.
The way her breasts swayed when she turned.
I had already guessed from her back view, but she was every bit the high-nosed beauty I expected.
Moreover, she reacted as if she already knew me.
“I truly… cannot live like this.”
“…Pardon?”
She started with honorifics, then dropped straight into casual speech.
I was still turning over who would dare address this emperor that way when she supplied the answer herself.
“To think you would finally bring such shame upon this mama.”
“………Mama?”
Mama… as in mother?
Lightning struck inside my skull.
In the previous playthrough there had been so many damn wives that I had momentarily forgotten.
But now I finally realized who this ridiculously fuckable beauty—this beauty—was.
My previous wife who had borne the finest crown prince.
The woman I had gone completely insane over and courted relentlessly even inside the game.
Valeria von Armin.
She now existed.
She stood before me, this beautiful, in the flesh.
Sss…
She even went so far as to languidly slip a shoulder strap down.
Then she turned her body toward my bedchamber and said,
“To think you are still in that state… I truly cannot live like this either… C-come inside quickly…♥”