From Cradle to Retainer
“Jung-woo.”
“Yes?”
“I’m putting you in.”
I was in the middle of sweeping the floor when I heard that utterly ridiculous line. Where the hell had this bee even picked that up?
“Put what in where? Anyway, I have cleaning to do, so go to another room.”
I waved him off dismissively at the boy lounging in the rocking chair.
Given the gulf between our stations, it was an unthinkable rudeness—but I knew the lazy, benevolent nature of this particular god well enough that our relationship had settled into exactly this shape.
The boy’s name was Hypnos. Also called Somnus, he was the god of sleep, famous even in the Divine Realm as a bystander who never got involved.
“No. I’m really going to put you in.”
Hypnos widened his eyes at me, as if offended that I refused to believe him.
His default expression was usually half-lidded and vacant, so the fact that he was this animated meant something was genuinely going on. His voice had even gone a little higher.
So I stopped sweeping and asked,
“Put what in, exactly? Don’t tell me that’s your kink.”
“What? I’m a guy who loves sleeping so much I’m basically half-castrated. Don’t forget that.”
“Ah… right.”
Hearing him declare himself a eunuch so proudly was absurd, but the man never caused anyone trouble and was perfectly content to sunbathe quietly in his own domain. I could understand it. He was a god who spent twenty of every twenty-four hours asleep, after all.
“Anyway, you have to go in.”
“So this whole ‘shoving me in’ nonsense is—wait. Go in where?”
“Yeah. You know about Observing, right? You got picked.”
Observing. The act of gods forming groups to watch over a world.
It was one of the gods’ unique pastimes: quietly observing the humans who moved of their own free will inside a world, treating it like watching a drama or a movie. They found it entertaining.
They didn’t purely spectate, though. From time to time they could interfere indirectly—bestowing blessings on the humans of that world, for instance. But even that interference had strict limits.
1. Each god was limited in the number of blessings they could grant.
2. No god could intervene in the observed world beyond a set degree.
Those two rules formed the basic framework of Observing. Break them, and you were kicked out of the game and subjected to a group beatdown.
If a god kept meddling just because they disliked the way a world was going, the world would eventually collapse into a complete wreck. The gods who had experienced that beatdown left reviews saying it hurt like hell.
I only knew that from rumors; I’d never seen it myself. But the stories were real enough that the gods learned to stay within the lines while they enjoyed their Observing.
“And you’re saying I have to go into one of those Observed worlds?”
“Yep. I got bored and joined a dice game to pick the dispatcher, and I got stuck with it.”
Dispatcher.
It was the exception clause to the rule forbidding active interference: the gods watching a world would roll dice among themselves, and the winner earned the privilege of sending someone who suited their tastes.
A god who wanted chaos would order their agent to sow as much disorder as possible. A god who wanted peace would order them to preserve it. Depending on the gods’ inclinations, the flow of an entire world could change.
Of course, even after receiving orders and being dispatched, what the agent actually accomplished depended entirely on their own ability. Some people who were supposed to cause chaos just got arrested for petty theft. Others who were supposed to bring peace lived quiet lives as priests doing charity work and nothing more.
It was surprising that a god who did nothing but sleep had joined Observing at all… but his intentions couldn’t be bad.
“Seriously? You, the guy who only sleeps, suddenly jumping into Observing?”
“Nah. I was out for a walk and happened to glance at a world. That place was doomed to collapse even if you left it alone. Leaving it alone felt wrong, so I hopped into the dice roll.”
“And then you just happened to win?”
“That’s right. The timing lined up perfectly.”
His language was so cheap and slangy that my exasperation doubled.
“Anyway, so I decided to send you—my hands and feet.”
“I can refuse, right?”
“Uh…? Well… yeah, you can refuse. It’s not mandatory.”
Even if a god won the roll, their agent still had the right to refuse. That was also a firm rule.
I was about to exercise that right… until the pitying look he gave me made my resolve crumble.
I had no interest in the existence elevation that came with performing well as a dispatcher, but this god had acted out of pure goodwill. And I was a little weak to pure goodwill. On top of that, I owed him a great deal.
“Ahh… fine. I’ll go. Happy now?”
“Good. Smart choice. Then let’s go stick you in right away~.”
Stick me in, my ass.
Anyway, that was how I ended up throwing myself into the 24th world that Hypnos was Observing.
Waa. I’m baby Zion. Gimme milk.
“There, there. Our Zion, let’s have some milk.”
I was currently one year old, born into the Altram family of this world.
Calling them a “family” made them sound grander than they were—they didn’t wield national influence—but they were a house that had served the Krauser family, a storied and prestigious noble house of one of the kingdoms in World 24, for generations.
I latched onto the soft, generous breast of the household’s mistress, Rina Altram, and suckled nutrients to my heart’s content. I was a baby, so of course I had to nurse.
Come to think of it, she was offering me her breast even though I hadn’t cried or made a sound. She must have been quite perceptive.
“Mmph, mmph.”
“That’s it. Our Zion eats so well. You’ll grow up big and strong, won’t you? Hehehe.”
While I drank the faintly sweet milk, I organized my current situation.
The type of interference was reincarnation rather than possession. Starting as a baby made that obvious. There were cases of possession into infants, but reincarnation was the more reasonable assumption.
World composition… a common fantasy world with magic and other races. A typical type among the worlds watched through Observing.
The goal, according to Lord Hypnos’s wishes, was to prevent a sudden collapse. To that end I needed to make contact with the figure regarded as the primary cause.
Whenever a major turning point approached, the gods had arranged for a warning message to appear on the game board so they would know. Even if excessive interference was forbidden, they couldn’t just sit on their hands and watch the board shatter.
In other words, I already knew which person would wreck the world, and by what path.
Among them I had reincarnated into a status that made it easy to approach the highest-priority target: Helena Krauser, who would one day become the head of the Krauser family.
In short, the first order of business was to deal with Helena Krauser somehow.
“Buuurp!”
“Oh my? Even our Zion’s burps are adorable? Really, who did you take after to turn out this precious…….”
After I finished nursing and let out a small burp, Rina rubbed her face against my cheek and beamed. It was a bright smile that said she couldn’t possibly be happier.
“Honestly, my lady, you’re impossible.”
“Oh, dear.”
The man who had opened the door at some point shook his head with a helpless, wry smile. He had a slender yet solidly built frame—Chess Altram, master of Viscount Altram’s house.
“But how am I supposed to help it when our Zion is this cute? Look, these eyes and this color—he takes after you completely.”
Rina pouted cutely, as if everything were my fault. Even while complaining she showed no intention of peeling her cheek away from my face; she was clearly a woman who adored children to excess.
“Heh. Haven’t I heard that story any number of times? Still, I never tire of hearing it.”
“Right? He really is the child we raised with such care, isn’t he?”
“Mm. He is, he truly is. And these lips take after you so much…….”
Watching a man who looked so solemn go all soft and dopey was surprisingly unexpected.
“Oh, by the way—Lady Helena’s birthday is coming up soon, isn’t it? Is it all right for us to be lingering like this?”
“Of course. Preparations are proceeding smoothly. Don’t worry.”
Chess Altram thumped his chest with a solemn face, radiating confidence. Was it the pride of a man whose family had served the Krausers for generations, or simply confidence born of his own meticulous work?
I couldn’t tell, but nothing looked amiss, so it was probably fine.
“That’s a relief, but…….”
Even so, Rina trailed off with a shadowed expression. Helena, who would turn nine this year, had already shown glimmers of martial talent despite being a girl, and she was the one set to become the next family head. Worrying over preparations for her birthday celebration was only natural.
“Hmm. Seeing my lady look so troubled… I suppose I have no choice. I’ll go double-check everything, so don’t fret too much.”
“I’m sorry. I feel like I’m just pushing you…….”
“No need to apologize. Well, if you truly feel bad…….”
Chess cut himself off, glanced around quickly, then leaned in and whispered against Rina’s ear.
“Prepare something for tonight.”
“Oh my…!”
Nighttime preparations. At that blatant suggestion, Rina covered her lips with one hand, cheeks flushed. The way her eyes widened told me she was secretly looking forward to it.
Even if they thought I was just a clueless baby, making moves like this in broad daylight…!
What a healthy family. No wonder the breast milk tasted sweet.
“I’ll wear the one we bought before… and wait.”
“…Ahem! That sounds excellent.”
Yeah. Good for you.
I watched the man’s back as he left, laying on the PDA thick, then closed my eyes. I’d had my milk; it was time for a nap.
“Oh… our Zion looks sleepy. Shall we blow our nose and take a little nap?”
Rina must have read my intent from the change in expression; she carefully scooped me up and laid me gently in the crib. The plush cushion and clean blanket felt like high-quality goods.
“Ah… uuu…….”
The moderately warm sunlight and the soft texture of the blanket coaxed me toward sleep.
Thinking about what lay ahead, I might not be able to sleep this leisurely for long—but right now I was a baby.
A dispatcher received certain privileges from their god upon reincarnation, but in this state they were useless. Even the unshakable calm of Steel Mental and the Zombie Body that would keep me alive until I was painting walls with my own waste wouldn’t do me any good as an infant.
I had only closed my eyes at first, but as my consciousness steadily darkened I surrendered myself to the comfort, and before long I sank into complete sleep.