Chapter 60
Translator: Vine
Chapter: 60
Chapter Title: Want Some Ramen?
"Let's go home. Together."
His hand touched mine, but nothing happened.
He's not a researcher.
I want to go home, too.
But I've been stripped of that right.
"Am I... allowed to go home?"
"Of course."
"But I don't even know where home is."
How am I supposed to find it?
"Let's go together."
How kind of him.
I smiled.
"Si-hoo will be disappointed."
"He won't be."
"I'm not a good person."
"It doesn't matter if you're not."
He's just saying what I want to hear.
Thank you.
"I tried to hide the drugs, but I was caught..."
"That—that wasn't your fault. It's okay."
This didn't happen because I wanted it to.
"Yeah, it has to be. Because it's not my fault."
No, I wanted it.
I couldn't have indulged in the drugs so much if I hadn't craved them.
Hundreds, thousands of them.
"It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not, it's not, it's not. It's not what I wanted."
Even if I hadn't been dragged to the lab, I would have crawled there on my own and begged for drugs.
Even if they granted my wish and set me free, the moment I needed the drugs, I'd be ready to live like vermin.
"I had to do it, there was no other way, that's why, it's not like I enjoyed it, I just had no choice, so don't blame me, it would have been worse otherwise, what I did was better, what's so wrong with enjoying it a little."
Still, you did it because you wanted to.
If you really hated it, you shouldn't have done it.
Those damn drugs.
"Ahahaha, you would've done the same thing in my situation. I was just trying to get treated because I was in pain."
But I was happy.
The more drugs I used, the more pleasure I felt, and it didn't even hurt that much.
So I did get something out of it.
It's a stretch to say I only lost, to call myself a victim.
After all, it felt good.
"That's what it was... but..."
It felt like drowning, but drowning in chocolate.
It was sweet, anyway.
And it tasted good.
"It's not your fault."
"......"
Even hearing that, deep down, I feel that's not true.
It is my fault.
It's just not *only* my fault.
So I just have to repay my debt.
Then I'll have paid for my sins.
"So let's go together. Home."
Who are you to say such things?
Finally, I look at him carefully.
"...Si-hoo?"
"Yeah. You recognize me?"
"Is it really you, Si-hoo?"
"It is."
My expression brightened a little.
It's Si-hoo.
Then what am I supposed to do?
I have to ask the most important question.
"Where's Seo-ah?"
"...What are you talking about?"
You were close, so you should know.
Come to think of it, it's strange.
When did they start living apart?
"What about Yoo Seo-ah? She must be at home. Maybe eating an apple. That sounds delicious."
She's not a combatant.
She has no reason to come out and fight.
She wasn't a character made for fighting in the first place.
"Seo-ah?"
Han Si-hoo looks bewildered.
I'm the one who should be dumbfounded.
Does he think I'm Yoo Seo-ah?
I'm sure I introduced myself.
"Seo-ah. Everything will be okay. We can treat this. So..."
"Seo-ah? I told you, I'm a can of drug-pickled tuna. The expiration date is..."
[10%]
"It's 10 percent spoiled. Ehehe. But 90 percent is still fresh. The drugs probably act as a preservative, right?"
My brain feels like it's melting.
Canned tuna.
I like it.
If I lift my clothes, the scars will still be there.
This one and many others.
There's a shopping list, too.
"I told you I don't like vegetables, so why do I keep running errands, I said I don't eat that stuff, so why do I have to buy it, why isn't there enough paper for the memo?"
Why?
I don't know why.
"...I'm sorry. That I... like this..."
What is he saying?
I can't understand him.
Speak up.
"It'll be okay. I'm sure we can go back to how things were."
How things were?
I don't want to go back to the lab.
I don't care if my sacrifice advances science or whatever, I'm not going.
"So let's go together."
I said I'm not going.
-Ah, the results of this experiment... we don't really need to record them. We're just doing this to see how long she lasts.
-She still has some will left, even in this state.
I refuse.
-It's not will, just a reflex.
-She must feel good, though. Drenched in drugs.
I feel pleasure where I shouldn't.
Feeling good doesn't make the fear go away.
-Double the previous dosage.
And then I remember nothing.
The memories that pop up sporadically are all strange.
I'm too scared to trace my memories back.
But they surge back on their own.
A little further into the past.
-For a monster, she looks very human.
-This thing?
-Although, judging by its actions, it's definitely a monster.
"Step back, Han Si-hoo. It's a magical beast."
My flashback ended.
I see a girl with blue hair.
An icy chill reaches out toward me.
"It only resembles your friend. Don't be fooled by its appearance."
"Cheon Yu-hwa, I thought I told you not to come. I said I'd handle it."
Cheon Yu-hwa.
So that's Cheon Yu-hwa.
I've seen her at the Academy.
At the entrance ceremony, maybe.
"This thing is more dangerous than the magical beast that attacked our car."
She says, pointing at me.
There seems to be a misunderstanding.
I'm not a dangerous person.
"You can see it too. With this level of mana... it'll be designated a target for subjugation. It'll be hard to kill for anyone less skilled than you or me."
Kill?
Who?
Why?
For fun?
I understand.
That's plausible.
But I won't die.
"I won't kill her. Seo-ah, it's going to be okay—"
Because a can of tuna is an inanimate object.
It just contains something that was once alive.
"Han Si-hoo. I never knew you were so weak. Faced with the fact that it's a magical beast... just look at its eyes. That's not a person."
"Yep, I'm a can of tuna!"
Can a can become a person?
"...Huh?"
Cheon Yu-hwa tilts her head slightly.
"This isn't your place to interfere. Back off. I'm done asking nicely."
Han Si-hoo warns her.
"You've lost your mind. That thing is your friend?"
"Yes."
"I don't know your circumstances. But without a proper explanation, I can't just let it live. If we fail to exterminate a magical beast and the damage spreads—"
"It's not a magical beast in the first place, so it's fine. Seo-ah is human. None of this is her fault."
The argument continues.
"It has the dark mana you'd only see in a deep-level dungeon monster, and you claim it's human? ...Even if it was once human, it's impossible to change this much. I'm sorry if I'm being insensitive, but this is the truth."
"So, what, you're going to attack her?"
"If you can't convince me, that might be the only option left. To me, it just looks like you're holding up a monster and insisting it's a person."
"You shouldn't always believe what you see."
The atmosphere grows tense.
Are they going to fight?
Normally, I'd just assume Han Si-hoo would win.
But Han Si-hoo is covered in blood for some reason, and he looks exhausted.
"If I'm not mistaken, you were just in a fight. With this thing, no less. It's strange that your attitude changed so suddenly. I suspect you're being mentally controlled."
This thing and Han Si-hoo fought?
When?
This thing only attacked the researcher.
But when did Si-hoo get here?
I don't know.
No, it's time I knew.
So let's think carefully.
There was definitely a researcher in front of me.
A researcher, right where Si-hoo is standing.
-I suspect you're being mentally controlled.
Mental control.
Manipulated thoughts.
Hallucinations and phantom sounds.
I close my eyes.
And when I open them, the hallucination will surely be gone.
I open my eyes.
I see the strange, blue-green light of an operating room.
"Ah, uh..."
This can't be happening.
This is bad, this is bad, this is bad.
I close my eyes and open them again.
Still a white room.
An operating room.
"Ah...?"
This is a joke.
I was with Si-hoo just a moment ago.
I was outside just a moment ago.
Please.
I close my eyes.
And open them again.
Is this a hospital?
No, it's not, it's not.
I've never been to a hospital.
Because I'm not sick.
"Seo-ah?"
Someone grabs my arm.
What are they doing?
What do you think you're doing?
Damn it, damn it, damn it.
It's a dream. It has to be a dream. Tell me it's a dream.
This isn't real.
Si-hoo will wake me up.
It's morning.
The sunlight will stream in.
I close my eyes and open them again.
I'm back on the street.
My head is dizzy, but I can clearly see the glint of metal.
"P-put the knife away."
Is that a real knife?
No, it's a toy. Yes, a toy.
Plastic. It's plastic.
The one Si-hoo and Seo-ah used to play with.
No way, is it touching my stomach?
It doesn't hurt. It can't hurt.
Because this is a dream. Right? Because it's a dream.
"Hey, you took the drugs, so it won't hurt..."
I said it can't hurt.
Don't use things like knives.
You're trying to kill me.
I'm not a magical beast.
I'm not.
"No-huh-heh-heh, huh..."
I said it hundreds of times, but no one listened.
"I'm... not... a magical... beast..."
Even when I say it, no one believes me.
Because there's no one who will take my side anyway.
They're mostly hostile, neutral at best.
"Agh..."
I'm a loner, you see.
Trash and an idiot.
How pitiful.
"......"
And actually, I am a magical beast.
If everyone else sees a monster, then it's a monster.
And I see myself as a monster, too.
I think it's about time I admitted it.
I saw it in a novel once, a dragon appeared as a mid-boss.
After Han Si-hoo defeated it, his level went up a lot.
It dropped a good item, too.
"I am..."
Who am I?
Logically, I can't be a can of tuna.
A can of tuna can't move.
"A magical beast..."
That's not so bad.
Since I'm already ruined, let's just die and become experience points.
Will a good item drop if I die?
"Is that so..."
If I'm going to be one, I want to be something cool.
A dragon would be nice.
Right?
"I see."
Then let's fight!
We're fighting.
Oh, drugs, please make me a sword.
I'm taking up a weapon.
Because I'm a sophisticated magical beast.
Preparing to attack.
Ready.
Ready...
I raise the sword and glare at my opponent.
Who is my opponent?
My vision is blurry.
But actually, I don't want to fight.
I want to go home.
Home.
There's no comfortable bed, but I'd be happy just to lie on the floor.
Let's eat something delicious.
There's no TV, but I can read books.
Will you cook something delicious for me?
No, I'll do it.
Delicious food... the only things I know how to make are fried eggs and ramen, but I'll make it for you.
I want to eat together at home.
With a friend.
A friend.
I'm not a magical beast after all.
I have a friend.
I have a friend.
I'm still definitely human.
A magical beast doesn't have a home, but a tuna has a can.
Am I a can of tuna?
Anyway, I have a home.
I hate vegetables.
But I like ramen with vegetables in it.
I'll be the one cooking.
You've never seen a magical beast cook before, have you?
"Hey..."
Clatter.
I dropped the sword to the ground.
I don't need a weapon.
"Want some ramen? At home."
My vision is blurry, but I know who's in front of me.
Han Si-hoo.
I barely managed to remember.
My memories are a mess, but I still believe he's my friend.
"I'll cook for you..."
After a moment of hesitation, I opened my arms.
As if to offer a hug.
Or maybe asking for one.
Or perhaps just a gesture of welcome.
Let's make up.