Chapter 37
Chapter 37
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 37
Chapter Title: Side Effects
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That's not it.
-After the accident, the perpetrator claimed, 'I was drunk and out of my mind'...
It was like a news report I’d seen once.
Scum.
It's strange that drinking is considered a reason for a reduced sentence.
You should take responsibility for your actions.
Aren't drugs similar?
But I didn't take the drug of my own free will.
Sticking myself with every syringe I could find was my own doing, but I never would have done that in a clear state of mind like this.
I know.
I'm sure of it.
"Yeon-hwa, could you give us a moment? Just for a little while."
Han Si-hoo gives me a strange look.
That girl still seems wary of me.
"You said it was dangerous, didn't you? Something about seventeen hundred. Are you sure you're okay?"
Dangerous?
I don't know what she's talking about.
"I'm fine."
"...Be careful."
Yeon-hwa says before leaving the room.
What am I supposed to be careful about?
Now, it's just Si-hoo and me.
The atmosphere feels strange.
Anyway, I should say what I need to say.
"Um, Si-hoo. Thank you. I don't think I'll need the drug anymore. I'm all better."
[Paused]
Am I really all better?
'Paused' seems to imply it could resume later.
As long as I don't use the drug, it should be fine.
I have no intention of using it, so it's fine.
"I'm sorry for attacking you. I'm really sorry. It won't happen again. I'm sorry."
I know an apology like this isn't enough.
I'm sure there will be a way to repay him someday.
"I'm normal now. I won't drag you down anymore."
Han Si-hoo doesn't react much to my apology.
He just stares at me with a cold expression.
Is he that angry?
Well, I did try to kill him, so it's only natural.
It doesn't look like he's going to accept my apology easily.
"It's okay."
It feels different.
The atmosphere is different from usual.
Han Si-hoo reaches out his hand.
For some reason, his hand moves closer to my neck, then stops.
"...First, stay away from me. I'm not in my right mind."
"Huh?"
"It's a skill side effect. I might attack you right now. I'm sorry. Don't come any closer."
Han Si-hoo says with his eyes closed.
If he's saying this much, there must be something wrong.
"Okay. I'll, I'll come back later."
Of course, there must have been a price.
This world is particularly harsh when it comes to healing.
Physical injuries can be healed quickly, but that's about it.
If not treated promptly, even those become difficult to heal, and internal injuries or invisible illnesses are beyond the scope of what Awakeners can treat.
That's generally how it is.
Though I've heard that some exceptionally skilled healing-type Awakeners can ignore such limitations.
But Han Si-hoo isn't an Awakener who has shown any particular strength in healing.
He seems to have gone all-in on combat.
And yet, he made Yoo Seo-ah perfectly fine.
He said it was a skill side effect.
I think it's related to the Purification skill.
"Wait."
He says, covering his eyes with his arm.
It seems like he shouldn't look at me.
"Wait... where did you just come from?"
"I was in the medical office downstairs."
"Ah, I see. With who?"
"The doctor."
"...The Doctor?"
"Yeah, it's been a while since I saw him."
Now that I've said it, something feels strange.
Did Han Si-hoo hate the Doctor?
There must be some misunderstanding.
The Doctor is a good person, after all.
"Doctor Lee Yoo-ram?"
"Huh? No."
"Then who was it?"
"Someone you've seen before. When I first came to the academy... now that I think about it, I haven't seen him since."
Han Si-hoo lowers the arm that was covering his face.
"...Who did you say?"
"You know, the one who gave me the drug."
"The Doctor was with you?"
"Yeah. If you have some misunderstanding with the Doctor, maybe you should try to clear it up..."
A misunderstanding?
What am I talking about?
There was definitely a reason to be hostile.
Suddenly, I don't know why I'm being so positive about the Doctor myself.
I haven't even used the drug.
[Paused]
"...Ah. I see."
At some point, Han Si-hoo had opened his eyes.
He seems to check the needle marks on my arm, then lets out a sigh.
"Then it's just the same thing, no matter how many times you repeat it."
"Huh?"
"It's obvious, really. Thinking you can go back to how things were is just a delusion. Isn't it? Oh, shut up?"
It's scary.
Is he talking to himself?
This is the first time I've seen Han Si-hoo mutter like that.
"No matter how much I purify you, one use of the drug and you'll just go back to how you were."
"I don't need to use it anymore."
I have no intention of using the drug.
Even if the Doctor gives it to me.
"The Doctor has been the one giving me the drug until now, but I don't need to take it anymore. I'm not in pain, so I don't have to use it."
I'm rambling.
"Anyway, you can rest assured-"
Han Si-hoo doesn't answer.
He just comes closer and reaches out his hand.
A handshake?
"Gahk."
He grabbed my neck.
I can't pry his hand off.
Just as my mind starts to go blank, Han Si-hoo lets go.
He gives me a moment to catch my breath.
"Ah, haahk."
He seems furious.
Those are the eyes of someone who is truly disgusted.
I'm truly feeling just how terrifying it is to have Han Si-hoo as an enemy.
I never thought Si-hoo would get this angry.
Is it because of that skill side effect?
He did say he might attack me.
Or did I say something wrong?
Was it the talk about the Doctor?
[Paused]
"Wait."
He chokes me again.
With one hand.
I thought everything would go back to normal as long as Han Si-hoo was okay.
Such a convenient thing would never happen.
The price for restoring the completely broken Yoo Seo-ah.
Han Si-hoo just has to break in her place.
I remembered.
I remembered what kind of skill Purification was.
"Hahk, ha, haah."
Gasping for breath is making me dizzy.
My vision is starting to turn white.
"I should have done this sooner."
Han Si-hoo stares this way with a blank expression, as if feeling no emotion.
I'm paying for my sins.
The sin of living like trash, I guess.
"I'm, sorry."
Apologizing is the right thing to do.
Han Si-hoo doesn't answer.
I don't know if this is really Han Si-hoo.
He seems to be in a similar state to when I was on the drug.
So this is what he's been dealing with all this time.
It must have been hard for Han Si-hoo, too.
"If you had just taken the hint and disappeared, none of this would have happened."
Is that so?
I guess it is.
"Hey. Are you still scared of Han Si-hoo? Even while you're trying so hard to stick to him?"
I'm just starting to get scared now.
"And the Doctor is your close friend?"
Not a friend, maybe, but he's a good person.
Right?
"Didn't you say it hurts here?"
He pokes me in the stomach.
"Ugh?"
"Hey. What do you have to be doing to get a wound like that?"
A question Han Si-hoo would never ask.
An action he would never take.
"Did you sell your body or something? Even if not, it wouldn't be strange if something had been done to you."
For a moment, my mind went blank.
"N-no. That's not it. It's not."
It's the first time I've ever heard such a blunt question.
But I understand.
My environment, my situation—it's all a mess.
It wouldn't be strange for him to have secretly thought that.
"It's really not true."
I haven't fallen that far.
-Thwack.
"Keuk."
It hurts?
It hurts.
It hurts so much.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
I was kicked in the stomach.
When I open my eyes, I'm sprawled on the floor.
The drug.
If I had the drug, it would hurt less.
It's been a while since I've felt such intense pain, so I'm not used to it.
No, I don't need the drug anymore.
[Paused]
I only used it because I was running out of time.
There's no reason to use it now.
But it hurts.
I hate being in pain.
Why was I hit?
I don't understand.
"-Wh-what are you doing?"
That's not my voice.
Yeon-hwa, who had stepped out, has returned.
"Did you hit her?"
She looks confused.
Regardless, Han Si-hoo is only staring at me.
I have to explain first.
*Cough.*
I coughed repeatedly until I could speak.
This is a misunderstanding.
It really is.
If I had said something sooner, I could have explained it somehow.
Most of the wounds on my body are self-inflicted.
It wasn't a big deal.
More than that, it hurts.
I think something's broken.
I don't want to get hit again.
***
I can't understand the situation.
I don't know what's happening.
Weren't they friends?
Si-hoo hit her?
No, of course, she tried to kill him first.
It's understandable that he's angry.
I was angry enough to want to kill her myself.
But Si-hoo didn't seem angry at all.
I wondered if their friendship was just that special.
I thought they would sort out whatever was between them on their own.
"I-I really didn't."
Tears are welling up in Yoo Seo-ah's eyes.
Is it because of the pain, or the sadness?
I don't know what she's denying.
"I didn't sell my body."
What is she trying to explain?
"Nothing like that happened. Really. Never."
She says urgently.
From the slums.
For a girl who lived in a place like that, it wouldn't be strange if she had done some dirty things.
That's what I had thought.
But now, seeing Yoo Seo-ah before me, I feel like something is terribly wrong.
Words like that are coming from the mouth of a young girl our age?
Huh?
Does she really have to explain that she didn't sell her body?
What is this.
Is this hell?
A normal girl would never be in a situation like this.
When I only saw her smiling, she just seemed like a normal kid.
"I've really never done anything like that."
My disgust had been swelling up just from the fact that she tried to kill Si-hoo.
Now that my anger has subsided, I can see Yoo Seo-ah more clearly.
The scars visible beneath her sleeves, looking like she'd been hacked to pieces.
The countless marks from needle pricks.
I thought she brought it on herself.
Just looking at the state of her dorm room, with syringes scattered all over the place.
I just thought she was a filthy addict.
The kind of trash who would even try to kill her friend.
I thought she did it because she wanted to, so I just found it disgusting.
I see Yoo Seo-ah curled up on the floor in pain.
There's no way she wanted this.
"Stop..."
Si-hoo doesn't look normal either.
Si-hoo's eyes are trembling.
He stumbles back, as if this was an unintended result.
His expression is deeply troubled.
He tries to cover his eyes with his hand.
Si-hoo did seem a bit strange.
Saying strange numbers, rambling incoherently.
Still, when Yoo Seo-ah showed up, I left to give them space.
I let them talk to each other as they wished.
I have to end this situation somehow.
But I don't know how.
My mind seems to have frozen in this unexpected situation.
*Crunch.*
"Si-hoo?!"
Si-hoo grabbed the sword that was leaning against the bed.
It was already unsheathed.
He grabbed the blade, not the hilt.
Blood drips from his hand.
"Ah. That's a little better."
"Wh-what are you doing?"
Self-harm.
I can see the sharp metal digging into his palm.
"I'm sorry. Please take Seo-ah and leave."
He's still covering his eyes with his other hand.
"I'll try to get a grip on myself somehow."