Chapter 32
Chapter 32
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 32
Chapter Title: Why Did I Do That
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Why did I do that?
The puppy was cute. I thought we could be friends.
Well, I killed it with my own hands.
I don't know what that means.
Why would I kill a puppy?
It was a bit big for a puppy.
But it trusted me and followed me.
There's blood splattered on my hand.
The body is disappearing as if evaporating.
Did I kill it?
I don't know why I had to do that.
It's a magical beast, but it was nice and didn't even attack.
What if it had been a person leaning on my lap, not a magical beast?
Would I have stabbed them to death just the same?
If someone tells you to kill, don't you have to do it?
But I didn't want to kill it.
Then it's troublesome to have anyone, friend or foe, in front of me.
This isn't good.
"...Ugh..."
On top of that, it reminds me of when I was stabbed.
Still, it's bearable.
I felt a surge of emotion for a moment, but I held it back.
For me, this much,
"Ugh."
Something like this won't cause any problems.
Do you think I can't even handle this?
Killing one animal is nothing.
[13 hours 45 minutes]
There's still a lot of the drug's effect left.
It's not even that unpleasant.
Though, that part is also a problem, in a way.
"You just killed a magical beast. You did well."
Lee Yoo-ram says.
It seems the puppy looked a bit fierce to her.
"Did you notice anything?"
"Notice anything?"
"Like leveling up. Usually, you get stronger when you kill magical beasts. Though many kids need to meet specific conditions to grow stronger."
Level up.
I see. So I get stronger if I go around killing everything.
I don't know if Han Si-hoo killed that many magical beasts.
The protagonist was strong even before entering the academy.
That's probably why he's the protagonist.
I think he leveled up, too.
How did he do it again?
"Still, I've been a teacher for a while, so I have a general feel for it. What makes a kid grow."
"Is that so?"
Growth.
A nice word to hear.
"You must have something too. Even if your ability is boosted by drugs."
Then I just have to use a lot of drugs.
Just as Lee Yoo-ram herself said.
That's how it is.
"Next up, three of them."
"Three?"
"This is how the academy's first practical training usually goes. After you take down ten wolves, next is a bear-type magical beast, depending on your ability... Anyway. Begin."
With a snap of her fingers, three wolves are summoned.
They're bigger than the one I killed before.
I should probably face them properly.
Yes, face them properly.
Like, try to fight well.
Wouldn't a protagonist fight like that?
I don't think I can.
They don't even bark. They just look like gentle dogs.
They're not even approaching me.
Even the most depraved person wouldn't attack creatures like these.
But if she tells me to, I'll have to do it.
It hurts my heart, but it can't be helped.
Still, should I try to resist?
I want to see if I can withstand the command.
"Now, attack those three."
There's no need to attack right away.
She didn't say *when* to attack.
Stab.
Crunch.
Did about three seconds pass?
I killed them brutally.
This is a power I can't control.
Come to think of it, there's nothing in my life I can control.
If I wanted control, I shouldn't have taken the drug.
[9 hours 58 minutes]
Taking the drug wasn't really my choice, either.
It's right to take medicine when you're in pain.
"Five of them."
This time, I'll try to stop.
Lee Yoo-ram isn't very interested in what I do.
Because she knows I'll attack anyway.
The wolves still don't try to attack me.
"More? Isn't this enough?"
"Sorry, but I have to submit the measurement data. Attack."
Stab, stab.
Crack.
An elongated blade pierces through the wolves.
It seems I've definitely gotten stronger.
Certainly stronger than when I fought Han Si-hoo.
"Next, ten."
This isn't good.
I feel sick.
[5 hours 56 minutes]
"Wait, stop."
This isn't about feeling sorry for the wolves.
Fighting like this is too inefficient.
Just creating and extending the weapon eats up a huge amount of the drug's effect.
"They're just magical beasts. If you really want to become an academy student, you'd better endure it."
Endure?
What?
The time disappearing?
"No, not that. The drug..."
"Now, attack."
"I'm saying..."
Craaack.
A giant sword that pierces all ten wolves.
Seven of them, to be precise.
I couldn't kill the rest because the sword disappeared.
[0]
"...It hurts."
***
She couldn't kill all ten wolves.
That can't be. She'd crushed each one so excessively.
There's no way she couldn't handle them just because there were ten.
Only then does Lee Yoo-ram check on Yoo Seo-ah.
More importantly, did she just say it hurts?
This was the same Yoo Seo-ah who had stabbed her own hand and said it didn't hurt.
Something seems wrong.
Her knees buckle, and she collapses to the floor.
She needs the drug.
The wolves charge.
"Damn."
With the drug's effect gone, her affinity has vanished too.
Still, Lee Yoo-ram can handle magical beasts of this level on her own.
Besides, this is a training ground.
A snap of her fingers is all it takes to send the magical beasts back to where they came from.
"The drug wears off faster than I thought. She won't be able to fight for long like this."
She takes a drug from her bag.
And injects it.
There's no need to undo the bandages.
The needle is designed to pierce right through thin clothing.
Stab.
After a short wait, Yoo Seo-ah comes to her senses.
"Are you okay? Sorry, I should have administered the drug on time."
Her eyes are unfocused.
Her body is trembling.
"Ah."
She opened her mouth.
"Doctor."
"Seo-ah?"
Lee Yoo-ram is flustered.
She doesn't seem to be in her right mind.
She's looking for a doctor, but she doesn't recognize that Lee Yoo-ram is that doctor.
"Bugs instead of joints."
It seems she's hallucinating.
It's just a temporary phenomenon.
All I have to do is watch without panicking.
She helped Yoo Seo-ah up and sat her on a chair.
"My muscles are melting."
She mutters to herself.
A sedative won't work in this state.
I just need to inject another drug.
She probably won't live long anyway.
She seems like a truly sick kid.
She *is* a sick kid.
The guilt she had been suppressing tries to rear its head.
"I told you to run, damn it."
She muttered, but it didn't seem like Yoo Seo-ah heard her.
She seems to be hallucinating.
Stab.
Two shots of sedative.
This much should calm anything down.
Yoo Seo-ah is clearly calming down.
The hallucinations seem to have stopped, too.
"...It hurts."
It's like looking at a sulking child.
Traces of tears and drool remain.
She looks exhausted.
In fact, this state is closer to normal.
More so than smiling while on the drug.
"I... don't want to use the drug anymore."
But there's no way she can stop.
She's saying this because the drug's addictive properties have weakened.
"It's just temporary. Rest for a bit."
I don't even know how many drugs I've used on her just this morning.
Thinking back, it was too much.
Her seemingly fine appearance and goofy smile.
I used too much of the drug.
No, she was holding up well enough.
My miscalculation of the drug's duration was the mistake.
In the end, I come to the conclusion that I just need to use more drugs.
That is, if I see her as a combatant, not a patient.
"Combat training is on hold. There seem to be a lot of problems."
Discovering the existence of her affinity is a sufficient result.
Combat is just a secondary issue.
"I want to go home."
Yoo Seo-ah looks down at the floor.
Home.
It's clear she wants to go back to the past.
"I'm sorry."
An apology finally slips out.
"But... I have my own circumstances. It's not like I enjoy doing this."
She had been soothing herself with pathetic excuses.
That Yoo Seo-ah chose this path herself, that it's good for both of them, that it's good for Han Si-hoo, and so on.
They're just excuses.
But there is a reason.
A reason to do something like this.
Fulfilling my role as an academy teacher.
Why must I do that?
"I have a family too... Right, I'm sorry. Just like you have Si-hoo. Just as he worries about you, I also..."
The answer becomes clear when you know why the academy entrusts Lee Yoo-ram with this work.
It's because they're confident they can completely control her.
To make someone do unpleasant work, it's easier if you hold a weakness over them.
"I lost my family to monsters too. What good is being a doctor and a healing-type Awakener if I couldn't save my own family?"
The source of her hatred for magical beasts.
Vengeance.
That's why she thought Yoo Seo-ah would understand.
This affinity was truly unexpected.
Wondering if she sympathized with the monsters, she had forced her to attack.
That was definitely a mistake.
"Family. Still, one of them is still alive."
She has a younger sister.
A younger sister who is still alive.
A child who cannot be saved without the academy's support.
She's tied to the academy because of it, but it doesn't matter.
As long as she can save her sister.
"Yeah. I have a surviving younger sister. My only family."
They overlap a little.
Yoo Seo-ah and Lee Yoo-ram's own younger sister.
Still, if she had to give one up, it would obviously be Yoo Seo-ah.
"That's a relief."
Yoo Seo-ah answers with a bright smile.
She hadn't meant to talk about this.
She just wanted to let out a bit of the story pent up inside her.
Taking advantage of the moment while Seo-ah was under the drug's influence.
If you smile like that, what does that make me?
Lee Yoo-ram stares blankly at Yoo Seo-ah.
"It's good to have a family, after all."
That's right.
Anyone would feel more at ease with someone to rely on.
Even if it seems less like relying on them and more like they're someone to protect.
Having family is reassuring.
Who is Yoo Seo-ah's family?
It must be Han Si-hoo.
And if one were to look for Han Si-hoo's family, it would be Yoo Seo-ah.
Lee Yoo-ram herself didn't want to destroy someone else's family.
Right, that's why she gave her a chance.
To run away.
Because she would do her best to help.
"I may not have a family, but I do have... a friend. Though I'm always the one receiving..."
Yoo Seo-ah continues.
"Because someday, I'll be able to help him..."
She believes she can help him at least once.
If she becomes strong enough.
Family is precious.
To everyone.