The Doctor's Remedy
"Plague Doctor." "Nyanyanyang!" "Aaaagh!" "What the hell!"
What now? Beyond the black lenses, four ill-mannered adventurers soared upward after Sion, who had leaped to an absurd height. My rational mind couldn't begin to grasp what was happening.
"Crow!!! I cleared them all out, nyang!!!"
Our nekomimi rogue had successfully completed her mission. Excellent work, Operator. That left only one thing to do: pull the trigger and let the foolish beasts charging the hunter taste a ten-thousandfold concentrated sample of Plague Doctor-brand terror rounds.
The thought of the beasts collapsing in panic and fleeing with their tails between their legs made my mouth water. ...Gulp. Not figuratively—literally. Like clothes soaking in a drizzle, I had been conditioned by Bluetooth terror cuisine. Somewhere along the way, I had begun to crave fear itself.
Imagine giving zero-calorie cola to someone living a restrained life deep in the mountains. Of course they'd be startled, then immediately want another taste. I was no different. Decades had passed since this damned Plague Doctor mask had robbed me of the ability to taste food. I never showed it in front of Sion or my contractor, but honestly, I had wanted to try that cockroach roast too. I had wanted to chug honey mead. Lizard roast... well, even if I could eat it, I probably wouldn't. The conclusion was simple: I was still human at heart and wanted to enjoy ordinary gastronomic pleasures.
Even now I felt neither hunger nor appetite, yet I still longed for the joy of eating. But with this cursed mask fused to my skull, a normal meal remained forever out of reach—like grapes in a painting. The moment my body had melted away after activating the passive skill Unnameable Terror, only this damned head had remained floating. That proved it. Damn costume-lock system. Damn past self.
Suddenly I'm angry. If there had been no target for my frustration, I might have shed a single tear from sheer rage. I was an extremely delicate demon, after all.
"Haa."
I exhaled a weary sigh, shaking off the thoughts, and planted my feet shoulder-width apart. Like a dog that knew the bell meant food was coming. Suppressing the tremor in my fingertips, I slowly raised the revolver, quietly anticipating the sweet taste of terror the moment I pulled the trigger, and aimed at the monsters.
Should be fine to aim roughly, right? Since these weren't live rounds, there was no need for pinpoint accuracy. The black muzzle swung toward the center of the monsters' clustered formation.
—Click.
I tilted my head slightly, focusing on the front sight above the barrel. The blurred target beyond it settled into the middle of my vision.
"Huuu."
I steadied my breath, locked my arm and gaze in place, and—as always—thought the single word:
Fire.
I pulled the trigger.
Click.
—BANG!
A pleasant recoil traveled from the handgrip up through my wrist, arm, and shoulder. The moment the gunshot registered, the electronic headset built into the Plague Doctor mask cut the sound to protect my hearing.
Yet something felt off.
Why is it so quiet? This morning the headset's sound-dampening had failed so spectacularly the noise had been deafening. And had a live round even left the chamber?
Something's wrong.
A flurry of thoughts raced through my mind in that instant. Then—
Flash!
A blinding white light filled the black lenses.
"Oh."
The stream of negative thoughts cut off abruptly, replaced by a short gasp of awe.
A massive explosion of light erupted. A wave of flame spread outward from the impact point, reminiscent of a thermobaric detonation.
!!!
The beasts were swallowed by brilliant yellow fire. They never even had time to scream before they crumbled into black ash. The moment the red-and-black artificial mushroom cloud touched the dungeon ceiling, a visible shockwave burst from the center.
BOOOOOOM!!!
The thunderous roar tore through the electronic headset. A wave of heat and force slammed into me, shoving my body backward.
Whoa... Now that was a textbook explosion. Did pouring mana into the rounds turn terror bullets into missiles? I didn't know the principle, but I liked it. I was tempted to fire the remaining five rounds right away.
Crackle!
A thrill I had only ever felt in Terraforming raced through my entire body. Goosebumps rose. If my heart still beat, it would have been hammering at 1,100 BPM. This was incredible. Truly. Praying to the goddess had been worth it.
Pat, pat.
Silence returned. I brushed dust and charred moss from my trench coat. Then a question occurred to me.
Why don't I feel any fear? The bell had rung, so where was my reward? Had every single beast really died in one blast?
While I was pondering this, I sensed a presence behind me. The familiar taste of fear lingered on my tongue. As expected, only my contractor ever looked out for me.
"...Raven. What exactly did you just do?"
Savoring the fear that leaked from my contractor, I watched as she approached cautiously, Kkachi perched on her head, eyes wide like a primitive human seeing fire for the first time. Her legs seemed unsteady from the shock of the explosion.
I answered with the pride of a warrior returning victorious from the battlefield.
"I drove the monsters away."
Straight to the afterlife, that is. I hoped the monster friends waiting beyond the threshold weren't too resentful. After all, this swing-out revolver that fired thermobaric rounds instead of lead bullets had been given to me by the goddess. If they wanted to file a complaint, they could take it up with her.
"...."
My contractor fell silent, apparently at a loss for words. After a moment's thought, she spoke again, carefully.
"Raven."
"What is it?"
"...Sion and the others are all right, aren't they?"
"...."
Ah. I had been so caught up in the rare spectacle of a massive explosion that I had momentarily forgotten the other humans. I had seen Sion and her hangers-on take cover behind a large rock, but the blast had been enormous.
They should be fine.
Worry flooded in. The others could burn to death for all I cared, but the nekomimi rogue absolutely could not. She was the second person I had formed a bond with since arriving in this world. Besides, I still hadn't repaid her for the holy water made from Bastion rock salt that she had used on my contractor. I was the type who couldn't live while owing debts.
"...Contractor, I'll go on ahead."
I kicked off the ground and sprinted toward Sion, desperately hoping she was unharmed.
***
Fortunately, Sion was safe.
"Sion, I was so worried..."
"You were alive, rogue?"
"What is everyone saying, nyang! My ears, my ears! I can't hear anything, nyang!"
"I can't see anything in front of me..."
"My stomach... feels awful. Urp."
"Cough! Cough...! Hack!!! Kheeegh!!!"
"Aah... Why... am I still alive?"
The ill-mannered adventurers were alive as well. They were complaining of various discomforts, but considering they had been caught in the blast, they were strangely intact. They should have been charred inside and out or blown to pieces. Instead, they had only minor bleeding from eyes, nose, mouth, and ears, a few broken ribs, and some burns. Was I talented at mana control after all? Or were these humans simply that durable? Typical fantasy humans—life force so tenacious even cockroaches would be impressed.
"Haa... I really can't live with this crow. I was saving this for something important, nyang..."
Blood trickling from both ears, Sion sighed heavily and pulled a luxurious-looking red bottle from her leather pouch.
...Is that what I think it is?
"Wait."
I hurriedly stopped her as she tried to bite the cork stopper out with her teeth. Her slightly furrowed brow clearly said, What the hell is this guy doing?
"What, nyang. You want me to go deaf, crow, nyang?"
No. From what I could see, that was this world's equivalent of a recovery potion. I couldn't let her waste something so valuable. So—
"I'll heal you."
At last, the time had come for me, the elite healer, to step in. I would show them that a Plague Doctor was still a doctor.
"What are you staring at, nyang, crow? Are you talking to me right now, nyang?"
Oh, right. She said she couldn't hear.
***
Because everyone broke into a panic whenever I approached, I borrowed my contractor's help to gather the patients in one place.
"Good work, Contractor."
"Thank you for the praise. But... are you really going to treat them yourself, Raven?"
My contractor stared at me with the same suspicion one might give a gorilla applying for a urology residency. Soon, however, that cold gaze would fill with admiration and respect. I would make sure of it. Or rather, the magic the goddess had thrown my way would.
There were, however, two very minor problems.
"Magic is capable of accomplishing things beyond imagination, though it requires long and tedious incantations!"
"Recovery"
Restores the touched target.
⟨ Incantation ⟩
『Sanguinem umbrae vitae restituo animarum mortis gratia et tenebrae dolor sustinere sacramentum finis aeterna reparo arcanae blood exorcio darkumbra sanitas restituo.』
...The translation seemed incomplete. Or rather, it had been translated, but something about it felt off. And—
"It's damn long, too."