I'm Not Talking to Him
"Eek?!"
As I let out a startled gasp, Seo Harin tilted her head and looked at me.
"Is something the matter?"
"Ah, no, it's nothing."
It was a scream I had let slip without thinking.
As I hurriedly tried to brush it off, my mind became an even bigger tangled mess.
I suddenly felt a lump in my throat.
Wait, the birthplace of Axion was Hunter Middle School?
It made sense, but it was something I hadn't known at all.
After all, the timeline I was familiar with was the Academy City era, when everyone was already in high school.
I had no way of knowing what had transpired before that point.
"What a name for a circle. Do they not feel even a shred of embarrassment?"
"It's just kids playing pretend," Yeonhwa chimed in.
Meanwhile, Seo Harin and Yeonhwa continued their scathing critique.
Girls, what are you even saying?
That is the very group you two will join in the future.
How are you going to face your future selves if they hear you now?
It's treated like a joke right now. How on earth does it grow into such a massive villain organization?
As I pondered, my gaze drifted over to Chaerin.
Ah.
I realized it instantly.
It starts after Chaerin joins.
Knowing Chaerin's personality, she had likely joined Axion on a whim, probably in a fit of anger.
She still hadn't said a single word about what had happened to her over the past few months.
Though Chaerin had always been rough around the edges, she had recently become far more sensitive and twisted.
Something had definitely happened to her.
And that 'something' was likely still ongoing.
I was waiting for her to open up to me, but I couldn't help but worry in the meantime.
Right now, I'm at least by her side to look after her.
But in the original timeline, she would have been completely alone, making it all the easier for her to fall into that crowd.
The real problem was that Chaerin's influence was far greater than that of the other kids.
There would inevitably be kids who joined Axion just to get close to her.
Harin probably joined on a mission to keep an eye on Chaerin.
And Yeonhwa's joining was likely a rebellious outburst against the Hwaseong Group.
As a result, the worst villain organization in history was born.
Wait, then what about Namgung Yuon?
Namgung Yuon, the guy who had out of nowhere declared his desire to become a girl.
Why did a guy like him, who would eventually be dubbed 'Sloth', join Axion in the first place?
Maybe...
...he's already planning to join Axion in this timeline too.
If someone as powerful as Namgung Yuon joined, Axion's influence would skyrocket.
And if that happened, it might draw the attention of Chaerin, Yeonhwa, and Seo Harin all over again.
That was the one thing I had to prevent at all costs.
The delinquent circle, Axion.
And the future Sloth, Namgung Yuon.
It's better to nip this in the bud.
I needed to handle him before things got out of hand.
Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.
"Namgung Yuon, Ha Yuna. You two will be partners for the Sudden Dimensional Break Response class."
I never imagined I would get the chance to talk to Namgung Yuon again so soon.
It was a completely unexpected pairing.
Still, a chance was a chance.
I could use this opportunity to talk to him, find out why he wanted to become a girl, and gauge whether he was at risk of joining Axion.
To do that, though...
I have to get close to him first.
Even though I had been hanging out exclusively with girls lately...
I was a guy in my past life!
Besides, up until just a few months ago, I was still hanging out with the boys.
Although I had been keeping my distance from boys ever since Han Seojun's surprise confession attack...
I still knew exactly how to get along with them.
First, I lightly raised my hand to my new partner.
"Ah, hey there."
"Yeah."
Namgung Yuon acknowledged my greeting with a thoroughly unenthusiastic nod.
His face looked even more lifeless than when I had first approached him.
It was as if he had completely lost all interest in me.
Is it because I told him I couldn't turn him into a girl?
Since I said no, he had cleanly given up. He was surprisingly decisive in his own way.
Still, a greeting was just the beginning.
The real work started now.
"Since we're partners today, let's do our best."
"Yeah."
"By the way, do you play any games?"
"I don't."
"Th-then, what's your favorite soccer team?"
"I don't watch soccer."
And just like that, I was completely tongue-tied.
Weren't games and soccer supposed to be the ultimate icebreakers for teenage boys?
My mind went completely blank.
With all my go-to conversation starters utterly shut down, I had no idea what to say next.
As the awkward silence stretched, our homeroom teacher, Park Seonggu, began explaining the lesson with great enthusiasm.
Namgung Yuon just stared blankly up at the sky.
He looked like someone who had absolutely zero interest in the world around him.
Did this guy really have nothing in life that excited him?
As I racked my brain for a few moments, a sudden realization hit me.
Wait, no. I'm approaching this all wrong.
I realized I had been looking at things from the wrong angle.
If Namgung Yuon wanted to become a girl, then maybe...
...maybe he likes the things that girls like?
If he was struggling with his gender identity, there was a very high chance of that being the case!
"...Um, so, what kind of skincare or makeup do you use?"
I looked at him with eyes full of anticipation, and Namgung Yuon glanced back at me.
"I don't use any."
Yeah, I'm not talking to this guy.
It was impossible to hold a conversation with him. My communication skills had officially reached their limit.
Whatever.
Getting close to him was a lost cause.
I might as well just cut straight to the chase.
"Then, can you tell me more about what you said last time? About wanting to become a girl?"
Ultimately, all my previous beating around the bush had been for this very question.
I didn't know his reasons, but his desire to become a girl might somehow tie into why he eventually joined Axion. I had to know.
When I asked him point-blank, Namgung Yuon tilted his head.
"Why do you want to know?"
"Uh, well... because I'm just curious?"
If he asked me why, that was really the only answer I could give.
"Just because."
There's no such thing as 'just because' in this world, you know.
"Life is easier if you're a girl."
My eyes narrowed at his response.
"...Is that it?"
"That's all."
What did he just say?
Life is easier if you're a girl?
As someone who had actually become a girl, I found that highly debatable.
Sure, I got doted on and treated as cute far more than when I was a guy.
And even if I acted a bit emotional, people were much more understanding and let it slide.
The societal expectations and responsibilities placed on me were definitely lighter than what was expected of men.
Plus, people rarely made me do heavy physical labor, which was admittedly nice...
...Wait.
Why is it that the more I think about it, the less I can argue?
...Isn't living as a guy actually incredibly exhausting?
Had it been so long since I lived as a man that I was forgetting?
Or had I just gotten way too used to life as a girl?
...No, wait. I need to be objective here.
My current appearance was objectively far above average.
I was doted on and called cute wherever I went.
Even I had to admit how good-looking I was.
The only reason I felt life as a girl was easy was largely due to the massive perks of my appearance.
If I hadn't lived as a man in my past life...
...I might have become completely conceited, scoffing at anyone who claimed life was hard.
In the worst-case scenario, I might have ended up just like Seo Harin.
The sudden mental image of myself standing naked under the moonlight, admiring my own body, made me dizzy with horror.
Aaaah! No! Anything but an exhibitionist!
Never.
I swore to myself that I would never, ever become a narcissist.
After making that solemn vow, I turned back to Namgung Yuon.
"...Is living as a guy really that hard?"
"It's more annoying than hard."
"Annoying how?"
"Just... things."
So he was even too lazy to explain. How fitting for the future Sloth.
Namgung Yuon let out a massive, jaw-cracking yawn.
Since I couldn't even come up with a solid counterargument for why he shouldn't want to be a girl, I couldn't really judge him.
It didn't seem like he would give me any deeper answers anyway, so I decided to steer the conversation in a different direction.
I needed to find out if he had any intention of joining Axion.
And if he did, why.
That was my main objective.
"So..."
"Ha Yuna."
I flinched as my name was suddenly called, snapping my head up.
Park Seonggu was standing there, staring right at me.
And it wasn't just him.
Because he had called my name out loud, every single kid in the class was now staring at me too.
"Repeat what I just explained."
Huh?
"Uh... um..."
As I sat there with my mouth hanging open, Park Seonggu narrowed his eyes.
"Save the chatting with your friend for later and pay attention."
"Y-Yes, sir."
I had just gotten scolded.
My ears burned bright red as I quickly hung my head, prompting a wave of quiet giggles from the rest of the class.
I felt like crying a little.
In the end, unable to ask any more questions, I had no choice but to shrink back into my seat and behave.
The rest of the class was fairly uneventful.
We were only first-years, after all.
Our average age was barely thirteen.
While the third-years were occasionally deployed to low-rank Dimensional Breaks under teacher supervision, that didn't apply to us.
Instead, our classes consisted almost entirely of safety protocols and basic training exercises.
Because of that, despite being partnered with Namgung Yuon, I didn't get another chance to talk to him.
During breaks, he did nothing but sleep with his head face-down on his desk.
Besides, given my current reputation as a school celebrity, I had to be careful.
It would be incredibly troublesome if I kept approaching him and sparked weird rumors.
Kids at this age loved to gossip the moment they saw a boy and a girl spending too much time together.
It was an age where interacting with the opposite sex was still awkward and embarrassing, and kids who couldn't do it themselves loved to make a big deal out of those who did.
I absolutely refuse to go through another situation like the one with Han Seojun.
I had almost had my phone number taken just the other day. Having to deal with that constantly was a major source of mental stress.
It had gotten to the point where I deliberately hid my gender or just claimed to be a guy when playing online games.
I miss the days when we were kids and could just play together without caring about gender.
It felt like a wall was slowly rising between the genders the older we got.
"You seem to be paying quite a lot of attention to Namgung Yuon lately, don't you?"
As I was agonizing over my next move, Seo Harin suddenly threw a question my way.
Yeonhwa and Chaerin had gone to the restroom together.
While girls had that distinct culture of always going to the restroom in a pack, Harin and I had stayed behind because we were holding ice creams.
She seemed to have seized the moment of their absence to ask.
"Ah, yeah... I just heard some weird things from him."
I couldn't exactly tell her that he wanted to become a girl, so I answered vaguely. Seo Harin tapped her chin thoughtfully.
"I shall warn you in advance, there is absolutely nothing to be gained by getting close to Namgung Yuon."
Seo Harin was a secretly deployed Special Administrator. Perhaps because of that, she seemed to know something about him.
"What do you mean there's nothing to be gained?"
"Because he belongs to Madam."
Madam.
Ah.
I remembered now.
The Chinese Triads, the Japanese Yakuza...
...and the Southeast Asian syndicates. The most dangerous female Hunter in South Korea, with her hands in all of them.
A powerful businesswoman who dominated high society and ran a prominent charitable foundation.
Madam.
Namgung Yuon was one of the children raised by her.