Motivation (2)
After finishing the grueling task of two thousand swings in place of an afternoon sparring session with his father, Ethan Richard Blackwood climbed the stairs to his private quarters on the fourth floor, clutching his aching, sore arms.
Having carried out the assignment his father had given him to properly master his own heart, he felt as though his mind had settled somewhat. Of course, that calm was only temporary — the moment evening came and he faced his exclusive maid again, it would all mean nothing — but for now, at least, he managed to bury his confusion beneath sheer exhaustion.
"……"
…Three days ago, when Lilith had told him to touch her chest — had it truly been only because she needed the position of exclusive maid?
Could it be that she had allowed it because, even a little, she too felt something romantic toward him?
Was that why she kept drawing closer, insisting on remaining his exclusive maid even after gaining the status of a noble lady?
If he hadn't stopped himself midway while touching her chest… what would have happened after that?
Perhaps that relationship might have gone beyond simply touching her chest…
'N-no… I don't want to build that kind of relationship with Lilith…'
Lately, whenever his brain got even a moment's rest, it seemed to drift back to the memory of that moment. He had to solve this problem as quickly as possible.
Now that others were beginning to notice something was off about him, if it ever came to light that the reason he'd become like this was his exclusive maid, Lilith…
His father might, for the sake of his education, separate Lilith from him — the thought had crossed his mind.
There was nothing stupider than letting thoughts of the person he liked drive him away from the person he liked most. To prevent that in advance, Ethan needed to erase the image of that day from his head somehow — but for a man in the full flush of youth, that was no easy process.
Would he manage to forget it tonight? Could he shake it off by tomorrow? With such thoughts filling his head, Ethan stepped into his room — and in the private sanctuary he'd entered seeking peace of mind, he had no choice but to feel his heart pound all over again.
"Have you finished your training, Young Master?"
"M-Maid?!"
The exclusive maid who had refused to leave his head all day, throwing it into chaos, was waiting for him in his room.
While he stood there unable to hide his fluster, Lilith simply continued speaking with a perfectly composed expression.
"I have something to tell you, Young Master. Might I have a moment of your time?"
"…Does it have to be right now?"
"I will simply say in advance that the sooner I tell you, the better."
"…All right, Maid. If that's the case, let's sit down and talk."
If it was something she'd deliberately waited for his return to say, then from a maid's position it had to be important. Ethan nodded at her question and took the seat across the table from her.
-Scriiiitch.
"……"
Sitting across the same table, Lilith's chest was all the more impossible not to notice. Why was it that a maid's uniform, of all outfits, was so uniquely designed to stimulate a man's eyes?
Even if he wanted to look away, he couldn't — that outfit kept pulling his gaze. So Ethan, feigning composure, turned his body slightly and rested one arm on the table.
Of course, Lilith — carrying memories of having been a man in her previous life — understood the meaning of that gaze and that feigned nonchalance perfectly.
"So… what is it you wanted to talk about, Maid?"
"About what happened between you and me three days ago."
"…D-didn't we settle the whole exclusive maid matter? It was decided that you'd stay my exclusive maid even at the academy, and that Isabel would come out as your assistant…?"
"This is not about that. It's about the fact that you touched my chest, Young Master."
"Khh—kff, kff…!"
Ethan had been planning to casually change the subject, pretending he'd forgotten, in case it was a trap — but instead, it was Lilith who brought up that day's events so boldly.
That shameless display was more than enough to fluster Ethan to the point that swallowing a few drops of saliva made an audible gulp.
"Th-that time, you told me to forget it, Maid…?"
"And yet you haven't forgotten at all, have you."
"…I'm sorry, Maid. It hasn't been easy…"
"It doesn't matter, Young Master. From now on, you needn't try to forget anymore."
"Huh…?"
"It was an unreasonable request on my part from the start. At the time, I had no choice but to ask you to forget it — but for a young man in his prime like you, Young Master, that moment must have been hard to forget."
At Lilith's half-resigned words, Ethan found himself at a loss for how to respond. Should he ask for one more chance, promising to try again? Or should he simply let it go, as she suggested, and try to forget?
While he hesitated, unable to answer her, Lilith pressed on with the proposal she had prepared in advance — and with every word she spoke, the young lord of House Blackwood sank deeper into confusion.
"Regardless of whether you've been trying to forget that day or not, if things continue as they are, you will most certainly find daily life unbearable. Am I wrong?"
"…No, I'm fine. I think I can manage if I just steel my heart."
"…Hmm, is that so?"
"Yes. So there's no need for you to worry, Maid."
"Understood. Then, since you've declared you have no need of my help, you may listen seriously to what I say next — or dismiss it as the nonsense of a mere maid. Whichever you prefer."
"Maid…?"
-Scriiiitch.
With the sound of a chair dragging across the floor, Lilith rose from her seat — and then walked boldly toward Ethan, who had deliberately turned his body away.
Leaning forward slightly, as if to emphasize the large, beautiful chest she possessed, she spoke.
"M-Maid…?!"
"This chest you've been so unable to forget — I will continue to let you touch it."
"Wh-what are you saying…! You need to treasure your own body a little more…"
"Of course, I'm not saying I'll let you touch it for no reason at all. I am no brothel harlot — why would I let my body be toyed with? So I will permit you to touch my chest only when you satisfy a certain condition, Ethan."
"A c-condition…?"
"…Seeing you take interest the moment I mention a condition — you really are a man, aren't you, Ethan."
"……!!"
Just as Lilith had said, Ethan had instinctively felt a flicker of interest in this 'condition' for touching her chest, and he felt considerable embarrassment at himself. But whether he wore a flustered expression or not, Lilith simply delivered her message as planned, perfectly composed.
"You spar with my master in swordsmanship every third and sixth day of the week, Ethan. Is that not so?"
"…Y-yes."
"Then, if you manage to land a valid strike on my master during one of those sparring sessions, I will permit you to lay your hands on my chest that very night."
"……!!!"
"…Not for long. Exactly one minute. And only for a single moment, before you sleep."
Thump. Thump. Thump.
At Lilith's seductive proposal, Ethan found himself unable to suppress the pounding of his own heart any longer. It was a difficult condition — and yet, strangely, it didn't seem entirely impossible. His chest began to burn with every emotion at once.
If Lilith had proposed that he defeat his father outright, he might simply have despaired. However much it was a mock duel with wooden swords, being told to defeat a Sword Master was tantamount to being told to become a Sword Master himself.
As things stood, that felt like a story from the impossibly distant future — it would have sounded like she was merely toying with him. But hearing that all he needed was a single valid strike… somehow, the condition began to feel remarkably realistic.
There was a strange glimmer of possibility — that landing just one blow might be within reach. Even though, in every sparring session so far, he had never once landed a proper strike on his father.
But even a Sword Master was, in the end, human. If he — his father's own blood — threw himself at it with everything he had, surely he could land his blade on the man's body just once…
"For someone who said he didn't need help, you're thinking rather seriously about it, Ethan."
"…N-no! I wasn't thinking seriously, I was just…!"
"There's no need to be embarrassed. I made the proposal precisely so that you would think it over seriously."
"……"
"Rather than forcing yourself to master your tangled heart and shake the memory off, wouldn't it be better to use that power as fuel for your growth, Young Master?"
Lilith was right. As he was now, he was so captivated by that shocking memory of touching her chest just once that he couldn't even function properly in daily life.
If he poured that focus directly into his swordsmanship, it would actually become excellent fuel for improvement.
…Even if it stemmed from the impure desire to touch his exclusive maid's chest.
'But…'
Something about it didn't sit right with him, if he accepted Lilith's proposal at face value. He couldn't fathom why — why she, who was nothing more than his exclusive maid, had set her condition on his swordsmanship improving.
And so Ethan had no choice but to carefully ask her the reason.
"Maid, there's something I'm curious about."
"What is it, Young Master?"
"Why does landing a valid strike on my father become the condition for you letting me touch your chest?"
"I'm… sorry?"
"Your role as my exclusive maid doesn't seem to include rewarding my swordsmanship with your chest. In the end, it's an act that gains you nothing."
"……"
"Is there… something that benefits you, if my skills improve?"
At Ethan's sharp question, arriving from an entirely unexpected direction, Lilith froze for a moment, unable to answer.
Watching his exclusive maid fail to respond immediately, the young lord of House Blackwood only grew more suspicious — and before Ethan could open his mouth to press the question again, Lilith Rosewood managed to scrape together a plausible answer to give him.
"Could it be that you…"
"…It is simply because I like strong people."
"…You like strong people?"
"I personally tend to feel more drawn to those who are stronger than others and show potential for growth, rather than those who are weak or passively protected by others. And the strongest person I have ever served would have to be my master, Lord Harold."
"…I see. I suppose so."
"That is why I thought that if the young master I serve could catch up, even slightly, to my master's strength, it would be acceptable for me to offer a little of myself as well."
"……"
"…Does that answer your question?"
"…Yes, for now."
It was an answer that, on the surface, sounded perfectly reasonable, so Ethan quietly nodded — while Lilith, clutching her own racing heart for an entirely different reason, carefully moved to take her leave.
"Then I will return to the next room so you may rest, Ethan."
"…All right, Maid. See you at dinner."
"Yes, Young Master."
-Click.
With an awkward smile, the maid closed the door and returned to her own room. Gazing at the spot where she had stood just moments before, Ethan sank into a different kind of tangled worry.
It was the moment he found himself seriously pondering the ideal type that Lilith — the very person he harbored feelings for — had just described.
"The Maid's type is… someone strong…"
That it had been nothing more than an excuse blurted out to dodge a sudden question — the innocent young lord of House Blackwood did not yet know.