A Midnight Secret Outing (2)
"Where did you go?"
"……!"
Ethan's voice, right beside my right ear.
The moment that vivid, cold voice whispered against the edge of my ear, my exhausted mind snapped wide awake.
Wasn't I asleep, though?
No wonder my sleep-talking had seemed a little off tonight.
Ethan's voice, thick with emotion, scrambled my brain so badly that for a moment I couldn't form a single coherent thought, and while I was still racking my mind for what on earth I should say, his voice tickled my ear once more.
"Lilith. I asked where you went."
"...I'm sorry, Master Ethan."
"You should be. Your personal maid went out in the middle of the night without her master's permission."
"……"
Even with ten mouths, I had nothing to say. What I'd done to Ethan today was, unambiguously, a betrayal of my duties as his personal maid.
I had my reasons — I didn't want to burden him with needless worry, and I didn't want to wake Ethan up in the middle of the night and drag him all the way to the Dark Forest with me.
...But either way, the fact remained that I had overstepped as his personal maid.
"So."
"……"
"You're not going to tell me where you went?"
-Thump.
The pressure of Ethan's voice closing in around me sent my heart suddenly racing.
Was it guilt over the wrong I'd done him? Remorse for shirking my duties as his personal maid?
Or maybe it was simply fear of the situation itself — of Ethan suspecting me. I honestly couldn't tell.
"I... went to the Dark Forest. And came back."
"...The Dark Forest?"
"Yes, Master Ethan."
"Training at this hour?"
"...No, it wasn't for training."
"Then what?"
"...There was someone I'd promised to meet. So I went out to... see... them."
-SQUEEZE.
"A-agh...!"
The moment he heard I'd gone out to meet a person rather than train, his grip tightened sharply.
The pressure and sense of danger traveling through my wrist made the words tumble out of my mouth with a tremor.
"...Who was it."
"...Pardon?"
"Who was it that called you out at this hour of the night?"
"N-no one called me, exactly. It was more of an... an appointment..."
"An appointment? Was it Princess Seraphin? Or one of those girls from House Auguste?"
"No... it wasn't either of them..."
"...Don't tell me it was that damned hero boy — what's-his-name — with the gee-whatever name?"
-SQUEEZE!
"N-no... Master E- Ethan..."
The pressure on my wrist grew even stronger. Now it bordered on actual pain.
The instant the intuition struck me that if I didn't explain myself properly, things were about to take a very ugly turn, I had no choice but to hurry and tell Ethan who I'd met and why I'd been forced to slip out in the dead of night.
The Spirit Communication lecture I attended as a Department of Magic elective, my relationship with Agnes whom I'd met there, and even the once-in-a-century planetary alignment and her spirit contract.
"...And so, I just finished attaching a low-grade fire spirit to Miss Blaze and came back, Master Ethan. Furthermore, at no point did I stray onto another path or leave my post, not even once."
"...Really?"
"...If you can't believe me, you're welcome to hear it from Miss Blaze directly. If necessary, I can even introduce you myself."
"……"
Apparently my answer wasn't entirely unsatisfactory, because the force of his grip loosened somewhat.
The heavy pressure that had been bearing down on me eased a little, and Ethan asked another question, as if double-checking my answer.
"I see... So either way, you didn't meet the Princess or Lady Auguste."
"...That's correct, Master Ethan."
"And it wasn't that flighty hero boy who trails after every woman he sees..."
"I swear on the Goddess — I did not go out to meet anyone other than Miss Blaze. As for anyone else I ran into, the only one would have been the dormitory hall supervisor."
"Haah..."
-Sliiide.
Only after I'd explained myself over and over did Ethan finally seem relieved enough to release my wrist.
I couldn't quite grasp the difference between my meeting Seraphin or Lizzy versus my meeting Agnes, but either way, after that answer his murderous aura settled back down to some degree.
Though he was still pinning me down beneath his body, making absolutely sure I couldn't squirm away or escape.
"So, Lilith."
"Yes, Master Ethan."
"Setting aside who you met — why didn't you tell me you were sneaking out of the dormitory in the middle of the night?"
"You might find this answer a little strange, but..."
"...Tell me. I'll hear you out first, then judge."
"I judged that telling you would either inconvenience you, or cause you worry."
"……"
The moment I finished that first sentence, Ethan's face hardened all over again.
It was dark, but the change in his expression was unmistakable all the same.
And of course, even as I registered that expression, I had no choice but to keep relaying my own reasoning to him.
"I thought that if I brought it up for no reason, you might object on the grounds that going out alone at night is dangerous, or else you'd insist on trudging along with me and be inconvenienced for it. So I decided it was better not to say anything."
"...And knowing that."
"...Master Ethan?"
"Knowing all that, you still crawled out of the dormitory alone without saying a single word, Lilith?"
"……"
Ethan shoved his face right up to mine, his voice clearly steeped in fury.
He'd come close enough that I could make out his expression even in the faint darkness.
It was the moment I fully realized that going on an unauthorized outing without telling him — all for his sake — had been a mistake.
"Lilith."
-Thump.
"...Y-yes, Master Ethan."
"Are you, by any chance... testing me?"
-Thump, thump.
"T-testing you? I would never dream of doing anything like that to you..."
"Then why do you keep provoking me like this? Always acting in secret, always throwing yourself into who-knows-how-dangerous situations."
"...It was merely a nighttime outing, Master Ethan. As you're well aware, with my skills I could easily subdue two or three thugs, at the very least—"
"That's not what I'm talking about, Lilith."
-Thump, thump, thump.
"I-I'm sorry..."
Tonight of all nights, he looked genuinely angry — browbeating me with an expression of utmost seriousness.
And for some reason, his overbearing attitude made my heart begin to pound like mad.
It's true that I was in the wrong, after all...
My goal had never been anything more than sparing Ethan unnecessary worry.
Besides, if I'd brought it up and he ended up banning nighttime outings altogether, I wouldn't be able to keep my promise to Agnes either.
So I'd decided to handle things as smoothly as possible, sneaking out to finish the errand during the hours when Ethan was asleep.
If I'd known it would snowball into this, it really would have been better to tell him in advance.
Just apologizing isn't going to smooth this over, though...
As I mulled over how on earth I could calm Ethan down, an old piece of community folklore — once famously passed around — drifted naturally into my head.
Desperate to salvage his mood no matter what, I cautiously made my proposal while meeting his eyes.
"'I could subdue two or three thugs' is a ridiculous excuse. What if more than that came at you? And this is the Academy — there are obviously countless people here stronger than you, Lilith."
"……"
"Did you already forget you nearly died in that incident at the lake? I still can't sleep sometimes just thinking about how close I came to losing you that day—"
"...M-Master Ethan."
"I'm not finished talking, Lilith."
"...W-would you... like to touch my breasts...?"
"Your..."
Just as he seemed to be pouring out endless scolding over my unauthorized midnight outing, my sudden 'do you want to touch my breasts' made him stop mid-sentence and stare at me.
...Could it actually work?
"...Lilith, you're joking, even in a situation like—"
"N-no, I'm not. This isn't me asking you to forgive me in exchange for touching my breasts, or anything like that, I promise."
"...Then what is it?"
"I-I once heard that... when men touch a woman's breasts, the brain releases hormones that promote psychological c-calm..."
"...Hormones?"
"A-anyway! Rather than talking while this worked up, perhaps you'd like to touch my breasts and discuss this a little more calmly... T-that is the spirit in which I offer it, Master Ethan."
"……"
"O-of course, this is an offer I would never extend to anyone but you, Master Ethan."
Will it work?
I hoped against hope that this would be enough to let me slip past the whole mess.
It had been a proposal I'd made by swallowing down my own shame. Asking a man, of my own accord, if he wanted to touch my breasts was mortifying beyond words in the first place.
But this time the fault was clearly mine, and Ethan's anger toward me was, in its own way, entirely justified.
If one grope of my breasts could resolve it, that was the better bargain.
...Though if it didn't resolve it, I figured I might be in a spot of trouble.
"……"
"……"
For all his anger, Ethan was, in the end, a boy in the full flush of his prime.
And there he was, hesitating — because the girl he loved was offering, first, to let him touch her breasts, and he couldn't quite bring himself to refuse.
Deciding that if we were doing this, we should do it properly, I took Ethan's hand and lifted it up onto my chest.
And from the expression on Ethan's face — his left hand landing, half in a daze, upon my right breast — I could read his desire, plain as day.
-Squish.
"...L-Lilith."
"H-have you calmed down a little, Master Ethan?"
"……"
He'd gone blank for a moment at my flustered proposal, and when he came back to himself, there he was with one hand resting on my breast.
In the darkness, his eyes — the only things gleaming — met mine quietly.
And after a brief silence, Ethan's face drew steadily closer to my gaze.
In the pale darkness, Ethan's lips and mine softly came together.