A Familiar Sense of Dissonance
The morning after spending a night in the same bed as Ethan for the first time in a while, I made my way to class as usual.
"Haaah… yaaawn."
Perhaps because the fatigue of never quite sinking into deep sleep still lingered, a yawn slipped out of me unbidden—unlike my usual self—and Ethan, who had been quietly watching, turned a slightly worried gaze my way.
"Lilith, are you all right? You look more tired than usual today."
"…I'm quite all right, Young Master Ethan. My apologies."
"If you're worn out, why not rest one more day?"
"I appreciate the thought, but taking any more time off from the Academy could interfere with my studies. Besides, as your exclusive maid, I would be unable to properly attend to you, Young Master."
"…If Lilith says so, I won't press the matter."
And whose fault is it that I'm tired in the first place, exactly?
All last night, lying there acutely aware of Ethan sleeping in the bed right beside mine, sleep refused to come—even though the events of the past few days had left my body unquestionably exhausted. Before now, it hadn't mattered whether Ethan slept next to me or Isabel did; I'd drifted off without a second thought. But with the single new label of temporary lovers added to our relationship, one thought had tormented me until dawn: what if he pounced on me while I was asleep? After endless spiraling, I'd finally managed to fall asleep around three or four in the morning. An exclusive maid wakes at six, so two or three hours of sleep was never going to banish the fatigue entirely.
Dragging myself upright and crawling out of the room despite all that—that had been my morning.
"……"
"Lilith, is there something on my face?"
"No, not at all, Young Master."
"…Then why have you been staring at my face this whole time?"
"Is there some reason I mustn't look at you, Young Master Ethan?"
"……Huh?"
"Temporary though it may be, we are in a relationship now, aren't we, Young Master Ethan?"
"Ah—w-well, yes, we are…. Sorry, Lilith. That was a strange thing to ask."
If I suggested using separate beds now, or proposed installing a privacy curtain around mine, he would absolutely find it suspicious. He might even misread it as me being conscious of him and flash that same smug, self-satisfied expression he'd worn before.
Should've put up that dividing curtain back in the first semester, before we were lovers. I had a perfectly legitimate excuse then—securing my own private space.
I hadn't known sharing a bed like this would feel so awkward. Then again, until only days ago I'd never imagined I'd end up in something like a temporary relationship with Ethan, so it couldn't be helped.
"Don't doze off in morning classes, Lilith. I'll come by the Magic Department building at lunch, so wait for me."
"…Yes, understood."
My heart still insisted on mistaking what had happened on the lake for love, apparently, because it hadn't stopped pounding whenever I was in front of Ethan. After we parted at the crossroads, I walked toward the Magic Department building with a heart that had, at last, settled somewhat.
The bed problem… give it time, and I'll figure something out.
True, the ambiguous status of temporary lovers now sat between Ethan and me, but his behavior hadn't changed noticeably from before. We still ate lunch together as always, spent the remaining time strolling the campus and chatting, and after our last class ended, we met up again to return to the life of young master and exclusive maid.
Just as I'd feared, though—none of it happened. No sudden overeager attempts to close the distance, no startling, out-of-nowhere physical contact.
…And here I'd braced myself to tolerate at least some boldness from him, lover or not.
But his years as my master had vastly outnumbered anything resembling an equal relationship, so it was only natural. If you'd never once thought of someone as a lover and were suddenly expected to act like one overnight, I'd be the one flustered too, not Ethan. Besides, judging from everything I'd observed of this world's Ethan, he was a lifelong bachelor with zero romantic experience—it stood to reason he wouldn't know how to handle a woman.
Clop, clop, clop…
"Ah, Lilith. Over this way."
"…Yes, Young Master Ethan."
…And yet he meticulously observes every proper lover's courtesy like this. It's oddly frustrating.
The instant hoofbeats and carriage wheels sounded behind us, Ethan steered me toward the inner side of the road. I was grateful for the small consideration—and at the same time, somehow, it rubbed me the wrong way.
Do ordinary couples even bother with this sort of thing?
At this rate, we were no different from a butler escorting a noble lady. Our master-servant relationship had somehow inverted itself, and for reasons I couldn't quite name, it put me in a foul mood. Ethan was my master, and I was his exclusive maid, after all.
I suppose I'll have to take the lead here, then.
Out of loyalty to Ethan—if nothing else—I had no intention of slacking on this "temporary lover" post either. Granted, I'd never once dated in my past life either, but I'd spent over twenty years as a man. I knew perfectly well what kinds of gestures from a woman would please a guy my age.
…That said, coming on too strong on day one of the relationship would look a bit cheap. Better to start light.
—Tap.
"…L-Lilith?!"
"…Please don't make such a fuss over this much, Young Master Ethan. Isn't holding hands an utterly common thing between lovers?"
"Ah—uh, right. Sorry, Lilith. We're in a relationship now, yes, right."
Ethan raised his voice pointlessly, drawing nothing but stares from everyone around us. Thanks to that, my plan of casually slipping my hand into his from below was ruined—but letting go now, after all this, would wound my pride in its own strange way. So I deliberately gripped his hand a little tighter, making sure neither of us could pull away.
—Squeeze.
"……"
"……"
Whether it was the warmth of Ethan's hand seeping into mine, my face felt oddly flush—and from that point on, neither of us met the other's eyes even once as we ambled at a snail's pace toward the Student Council room.
"Welcome, Lord Ethan. And Miss Lilith."
"Good day, Princess Seraphin."
"It has been a while, Your Highness."
"I take it the weather outside is rather chilly? You're both red in the face."
"……"
"……"
After exchanging greetings with Seraphin—our first proper encounter with her in some time—Ethan and I stepped inside the Student Council room. The moment we entered, Luke, now completely settled into her role as an exclusive maid, handed each of us a cup of chamomile tea.
"It is a tea that warms the body, sir and madam."
"…Thank you."
"…Thank you very much."
…If I get any warmer in my current state, I'm going to overheat instead.
But I couldn't bring myself to refuse Luke's kindness, so I quietly accepted the herbal tea she offered. The moment I took a sip, a pleasant warmth spread through the depths of my body.
"You arrived early again today, just as you did yesterday, Princess Seraphin."
"I only just arrived myself, Lord Ethan. I happened to be sitting down to my work when the two of you came in."
"Am I to begin handling clerical duties as of today, Your Highness?"
"Yes, Miss Lilith. Come to think of it, we never had a proper chance to exchange greetings last time, did we? Is your health holding up better now?"
"Yes. Thanks to your concern, I've recovered considerably."
"That credit belongs far more to Hero Gehmajoshigi-gwat and Miss Serista than to me."
Well, she's not wrong. If those two hadn't been there, I'd already be dead.
That said, when I heard the full story later, it turned out the two of them had made it to the lakeside so quickly because they'd been in the middle of speaking with Seraphin at the time—which meant they'd received the report of the Kraken's appearance almost immediately. So, however indirectly, Luke and Seraphin had both had a hand in saving my life.
"And have you been well these past days, Miss Luke?"
"Yes, Miss Lilith."
"…Is serving as Her Highness's exclusive maid to your liking? I can't help but worry that you're continuing the position out of obligation, because I turned down Her Highness's offer…"
"That is not why I serve as exclusive maid, Miss Lilith. There is no need for concern."
"…Is that so?"
Given the original story's plot, Luke working as an exclusive maid right now felt terribly out of place. The game had contained a few routes where her identity as a woman came to light, but a storyline where Luke devoted herself outright as Seraphin's personal maid was genuinely rare. So when the thought crossed my mind—did I go and tangle the threads of fate, forcing Luke into maid duties she never wanted?—her answer took me by surprise. She had, it seemed, come to genuinely love the work.
"At the evaluation match at the end of last term, I learned a great deal from my battle against you that day, Miss Lilith. Above all, it opened my eyes that someone of your caliber still chooses to protect her master from within the position of an exclusive maid."
"I'm sorry—what?"
"Not only her duty as a bodyguard, but responsibility for her master's every smallest detail, all upheld through holding fast to the position of exclusive maid. I had thought only of concealing my weakness—my womanhood. Thanks to you, Miss Lilith, my thinking has been corrected."
"……What?"
"Until that day, I was too foolish to grasp your intentions. But following your example, Miss Lilith, I have resolved to become a servant who can take responsibility for every aspect of Princess Seraphin, from within the seat of her exclusive maid. Thus, my current position is entirely my own choice."
"Ah—yes, yeees…. I see…"
"Though the moment to say it has long passed, I would offer my apology for that incident even now, Miss Lilith."
"Th-then I accept your apology. Thank you for being honest with me, Miss Luke."
"As ever, Miss Lilith, your heart is as generous as it is broad."
She seemed to be laboring under any number of firm misunderstandings on multiple fronts, but given the atmosphere, I let it slide with a vague smile.
…Well, if she's happy, who am I to add another coat of paint to it?