Lilith Rosewood's Melancholy (3)
Edan had quietly worked out a way to lift Lilith's spirits — all inside his own head. And before putting his plan into motion, the very first thing he did was usher Isabel, who shared their room, out to the servants' quarters.
No matter that Isabel currently served as the exclusive maid to both him and Lilith, he had no desire to let her witness the two of them's nighttime business.
"Isabel."
"Yes, Young Master."
"I'll comfort Lilith myself, so why don't you turn in early tonight?"
"…Pardon?"
"…That is, I'd rather you not come out of the servants' quarters until late at night, if possible."
"Ah…."
Years of maid service had made her quick to read the room, and no one understood the relationship between Edan and Lilith better than she did. Having caught the faintest hint of what Edan meant, she simply bowed and withdrew.
"Very well, Young Master. From this moment until I rise tomorrow morning, I shall sleep soundly in my own room."
"…Right. Thank you, Isabel."
"Do enjoy your time with Lilith, Young Master."
-Click.
"……"
The vanilla-haired maid slipped quietly away to the servants' quarters with a goodnight bow. Edan flushed as though he'd been caught red-handed at whatever he was about to do — but at the same time, he felt no small gratitude for Isabel's sharp instincts. He crept carefully toward Lilith, who still sat on the edge of the bed, unable to shake off her gloom.
He couldn't be certain this method of consoling her would actually work. But at least the Lilith he'd seen in that one moment had worn an expression of happiness he'd rarely witnessed. If it could lift her mood, then playing the fool of the Blackwood family was a price he'd gladly pay, over and over.
…His only worry was whether this little stunt might earn him the same scornful assessment from Lilith as before. And so Edan began by seeking her permission in whatever way he could manage without inviting her contempt. If his actions — taken because he couldn't bear to see her sad face — instead earned her resentment, it wouldn't soothe her mood at all; it would only make everything worse.
"Lilith."
"…Ah, Young Master Edan. Were you not retiring for the night?"
"No. There's something I need to say to you first — something more important than sleep."
"Yes?"
As she tilted her head, clearly having no idea what he was about to say, Edan steeled his nerves. Then he lowered himself before Lilith, who sat perched on the bed, and pressed his forehead nearly to the floor.
"Y-Young Master Edan?!"
"Lilith, I'm begging you!"
"W-Wait just a moment, Young Master! If the son of House Blackwood grovels like this before his exclusive maid—"
"This is how I beg you, Lilith! Let me touch them for just one minute tonight!"
"Get up this inst— …I'm sorry, what?"
She had been trying to haul him upright when the request to touch her breasts stopped her mid-sentence. And it took her less than a few seconds for that reaction to curdle into contempt.
"Just one minute, I swear! Just this once tonight—"
"Are you in your right mind, Young Master Edan?"
"That is…."
"…I am truly disappointed. I told you quite clearly that you may touch my breasts only when you win a bout against Master Harold, did I not?"
"……"
"Two weeks at the academy and your self-control has already crumbled? I confess I never imagined you were a beast of such meager caliber, Young Master Edan."
What came back, sure enough, was Lilith's icy scorn. He had anticipated some of this before acting, but a word already spoken couldn't be taken back. So Edan launched into his own brand of persuasive logic, doing his best not to offend her while angling for a touch.
"I-I'll win two bouts!"
"…Pardon?"
"A-At my next sparring match with my father, I'll win two bouts in total!"
"…Two bouts?"
"Your condition for letting me touch your breasts is one win against my father each time, right? And once I've had the fundamentals of magic swordsmanship drilled into me, a chance to spar with Father is bound to come up — at least ten bouts' worth over a single semester, easily."
"…Go on. Do keep talking, I mean — do keep explaining, Young Master."
"I haven't managed a win yet since the opportunity hasn't arisen, but starting next week my scheduled sparring days with Father come around again. So over that stretch, I'll rack up two wins combined. Just let me touch you once right now, Lilith."
"……"
Having made his desperate plea, Edan bowed his head to the floor again and waited for her answer. He knew perfectly well, even by his own reckoning, how forced the demand was — but not offending Lilith while securing a touch was his goal. So with the heart of a condemned criminal, he kept his head lowered and waited, while Lilith, for her part, rested her chin on her hand atop the bed and ran her own calculations.
'He's asking to change it from one touch per win to one touch per two wins… so really, I don't stand to lose anything. And knowing Edan's skill, winning two bouts mid-semester is a given anyway….'
The moment she heard his proposal, she'd plunged straight into a mental cost-benefit analysis of granting versus refusing. Her earlier irritation at Edan for so rudely demanding to grope her had long since been shunted aside, replaced by the coolly calculating figure of an exclusive maid assessing her own advantage. She posed a single question to Edan, who was still prostrate on the floor, apparently debating whether to retract everything and claim he'd thought better of it.
"…Are you truly certain you can win two bouts against Master Harold?"
"Y-Yes…! Of course!"
"Then why, instead of winning a bout and then asking for my breasts, are you going so far as to sink yourself waist-deep in debt just to touch them right now?"
"Th-That's…."
He couldn't exactly say it was because her mood seemed so terribly gloomy today, and he wanted to touch her to cheer her up. Saying that would unquestionably earn her antipathy — she likely wouldn't have granted permission in the first place. If she did grant it on those grounds, it would amount to confessing that touching her breasts made him feel better, and Lilith, being a woman, would naturally bury such desires in secret. That she would despise him all the more for it went without saying.
To protect her honor and her pride, Edan chose a slightly different approach — one that made it look as though he was demanding it purely because he wanted to, regardless of her feelings.
"I-I really… I can't stand it anymore…."
"Pardon?"
"B-Back when we slept in separate rooms in the manor, it was one thing, but n-now you sleep in the same bed as me and wake up beside me every single day. And on top of that, you cling to my body in your sleep halfway through the night. Living like that day after day, I simply can't bear it anymore…."
"……"
"So I couldn't wait until the next bout I win…. That's why I'm begging you like this…."
A lie. Edan had manufactured his excuse through a lie — one laced with a sliver of truth. The words had spilled out the instant they formed in his head, and the moment they left his mouth, he regretted them. Spoken aloud, it sounded like nothing so much as a boy in his prime laying his desires bare without an ounce of restraint.
Edan had tried, in every other respect, to maintain the most gentlemanly demeanor possible in front of Lilith — but the act he'd just committed was, by his own assessment, thoroughly lewd. Only once his head had cooled did he finally grasp that something about what he'd just done was deeply wrong.
"S-So it's a no after all?! Th-Then can we just pretend this never happened…?"
His mind churned with tangled emotion, his longing not to be hated by Lilith swelling anew as he scrambled, too late, to salvage the ugly thing he'd said. But the words that came from Lilith — who understood the lust of a man in his early twenties in every sense — were not disillusionment, but something closer to acceptance.
"…Two bouts. You must win them, without fail."
"…U-Uh, yes?"
"Did you not just say it yourself? That you'll win two more bouts against Master Harold, and that's why you're asking to touch my breasts right now?"
"…Th-That's right. But if it upsets you, Lilith, you can refuse…."
"…Just this once."
"…Huh?"
Thrown by her permission in a situation he'd never anticipated, Edan blinked back at her with a momentarily foolish expression. Lilith simply repeated what she'd said.
"I said, just this once, Young Master Edan. If you fail to restrain yourself again and come asking to touch me, I will refuse you flatly."
"Then tonight…."
"Hearing you out, I do think there's genuine sense in what you said. You are, after all, a man in his prime, Young Master — I can hardly fail to understand that having me sleeping beside you every night might… stir you."
"……"
"So I shall grant you a reprieve — this once. I will indulge this one sudden request of yours. But from now on, you will learn, properly, to master yourself."
"Th-Thank you, Lilith."
Though they'd taken the long way around, each hiding their true feelings from the other, Lilith had in the end given him leave to touch her breasts. It was an abrupt outcome, but just like that, the two of them's nighttime business had begun — a relationship built on mutual concealment, each of them entirely mistaken about what the other truly wanted.