I Robbed the Auction House!
The inside of the auction house was the epitome of extravagance. ‘Is this the imperial palace or an auction house?’ It looked like they had poured money into the interior—there were statues spouting fountains and artworks that screamed expensive even at a glance, all laid out over a deep red carpet. Truly, it reeked of people who had handled quite a bit of cash.
While I was looking around the auction house, the first one I had ever visited in either of my lives, I realized something I had completely overlooked.
“Liana, what are we supposed to do about our seats…?”
Whether you go to the movies, a concert hall, or a concert, every seat is sold. And what proves you own that seat is, of course, a ticket. The fact that we had no tickets meant there had never been any seats for us to begin with.
Liana let out a small hum as she thought. She was clearly searching for a good solution. Before long, I heard her answer.
“It’s simple. We just sit anywhere we want!”
A very Liana-like idea. I clicked my tongue. Still, no better plan came to mind, and I had zero intention of trying to get tickets anyway.
“It feels wrong, but I suppose we have no choice this time…”
If we were going to sit, we might as well take the best spots. We claimed the center seats in the very front row.
I was bouncing my feet on the plush chair when Liana spoke up.
“Your Highness, it looks like there’s food over there. Should I go buy us some?”
Liana was drooling while staring at the menu of various snacks. We had not come here to eat. Our true purpose was to raid the auction house. We couldn’t let that goal get derailed.
When I gave her a look that said she was being pathetic, Liana’s face turned redder than a ripe tomato.
-Gurgle
Liana’s stomach clock rang out loud enough to pierce through the noisy auction house. Her tomato-red face grew even more flushed. She looked ready to dive straight into a mouse hole if one appeared.
If her stomach growled during the auction, it would cause a huge scene, so I decided to play along with her rhythm.
“…You must be hungry. Go buy something for me and something for yourself.”
I handed her a few coins from my pocket. Liana sprinted toward the concession stand at a truly astonishing speed.
‘If you’re hungry, just say you’re hungry.’
I wasn’t the kind of person who would let my own kids go without food, after all.
I was staring blankly at the stage when two people wearing black masks suddenly stood in front of me.
“Excuse me… these are our seats?”
They brazenly claimed the spots were theirs and glared at me. Their eyes clearly said, Move if you know what’s good for you.
But what? If they were so upset, they should have come earlier.
I stared at the two young men with wide, murderous eyes. That, of course, meant I had activated Absolute Obedience.
If I could have seen myself in a mirror right now, even I might have felt my legs go weak. Even though I couldn’t see my own face, I instinctively knew it must have looked absolutely terrifying.
“Hand over your tickets to me. Then leave the auction house and confess everything to the guards.”
“…Yes.”
The nameless young men obediently placed two tickets in my hand. No matter how many times I used it, I was still impressed every single time.
Whoa… isn’t Absolute Obedience basically a cheat skill?!
I even handed the two young men over to the guards waiting outside. Without a doubt, the MVP of today’s auction house raid operation was me, Iris Varshain.
Not long after the generous young men left, Liana came bounding back with an armful of food and a huge, happy smile on her face.
“…Liana, don’t you think you bought too much?”
Liana set the food down on the floor one by one, then lightly patted her belly with both hands.
“Don’t worry! I can eat it all!”
She had confidence with zero basis. Well… I had no intention of scolding her. I was always grateful to her. She fulfilled her duties as my vassal perfectly, and she was incredibly strong. There was no way I could criticize someone as dutiful as Liana.
It was as if a hungry ghost had possessed her stomach—Liana devoured the food at an incredible pace.
“Whoa…”
“Hey… is that even a human amount of food?”
Liana was eating so much that people around us started paying attention.
About ten minutes after she had begun her feast, she finally finished.
“Pwah! That was delicious!”
She had eaten every last drop of broth. A perfect clean plate.
“Hey, hey! Is that even a girl?!”
“Dude, that’s rude to a lovely young lady!”
The people who had watched Liana’s complete consumption began clapping one by one, showering her with praise.
The stronger the praise became, the more embarrassed Liana grew. In the end—
“I’m so embarrassed, everyone please stop…”
Liana buried her face in her chair. The moment her shame hit maximum and she stood up to flee the auction house, every light in the venue suddenly went dark at once.
-Click
All the spotlights in the auction house focused on a single place—the stage.
“Everyone! Thank you for waiting so long!”
A man dressed like a magician suddenly appeared on stage. I had no idea where he had come from while we were watching.
“The 38th auction will now begin! Here is today’s first item to kick things off!”
When the magician snapped his fingers, an object wrapped in luxurious red cloth appeared. With a smile, he yanked the cloth away.
“This is the crown of the neighboring Aindel Kingdom! It’s not a fake~ It’s the real thing! We’ll start the bidding at a modest ten million!”
“…Hah.”
A dry laugh escaped me. Why on earth was a crown that symbolized kingship of an entire nation appearing here?
The moment the host finished speaking, voices from the participants rang out.
“Fifteen million.”
“Twenty million!”
“Fifty million!”
The price for the Aindel Kingdom’s crown kept climbing. At least until one participant made an absurd bid.
“One billion.”
At the words “one billion,” everyone showed their respect. One billion. The value of imperial currency was at least several times higher than that of South Korea. In other words, one billion in the empire was not the same as one billion won.
“There we have it! One billion! Any more bids?! If not, I’ll count to three and conclude the first auction!”
Three seconds later, the host struck his gavel three times.
“Sold for one billion! The owner of the Aindel Crown is bidder number 130! We will now proceed to the next item!”
The same pattern repeated over and over. Snap to create the item, remove the cloth, start the bidding. As the auction progressed, increasingly ridiculous items appeared—so ridiculous that the first item looked tame by comparison.
A dragon egg, the remains of the Holy Empire’s saint, forbidden magic tomes, and more. Every single one sold for an astronomical price.
The fact that such things were being circulated within the empire was dangerous. The moment another country learned of this auction house’s existence, conflict with other nations and the disruption of imperial order would be inevitable.
While I watched the auction with interest, it had already reached its final stages.
“We’ve already arrived at the final auction of the day! As it is the last one, we have prepared the most splendid item yet!”
For once, the host didn’t snap his fingers. Instead, he made a gesture. The item that followed his hand was none other than a person.
“A most precious elf! The grand finale to today’s auction! Bidding will start at one hundred million!”
Yellow hair, purple eyes, and elf ears.
“…Diana?”
It was unmistakably Diana. Wait, hadn’t I freed her last time? Why was she here again?
Before I could even think, the bids for Diana shot up like crazy.
“One hundred fifty million!”
“Three hundred million!”
“Five hundred million!”
These lunatics. Did they have money to burn? Buying and selling people like it was nothing. Nausea rose in my throat.
I quietly gave Liana a command.
“Liana, show them what happens when they cross us.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
Liana shot up from her seat. Holding the black sword I had given her as a gift, she immediately tore off her purple carnival mask and threw it aside.
“Everyone, stop. This is a royal command.”
Everyone in the auction house turned to look at Liana.
“Hey, hey! What the hell is that crazy bitch doing?!”
“A sword! She’s got a sword!”
Participants and the host alike were all trying to flee the auction house when—
“Everyone, stop right there!”
I used Absolute Obedience. It was as if time itself had frozen; everyone went completely rigid. Of course, Liana was no exception.
“Y-Your Highness, my body won’t move…”
“…Liana, arrest every single one of them without exception.”
It seemed that when Absolute Obedience was used on a large group, it affected everyone present without exception. I left the arrests to Liana and leisurely walked up onto the stage where Diana stood.
Looking at the host, I said,
“Release her immediately.”
“Y-Yes!”
The host hastily pulled out a key and freed Diana right away.
“Your Highness…”
Diana called out to me with desperate longing. I let out a sigh as I looked at her. After all, I had saved her once, yet here she was, kidnapped again and about to be sold off! What would have happened if I hadn’t come here?
“Diana… why are you here?”
Diana scratched the back of her head with an awkward smile.
“Ahaha… well, I got caught by some people on my way home. Ouch!”
To give her a small punishment for grinning like that, I flicked her forehead with a sharp thump.
“Don’t you know a woman should always be careful? Never mind. Let’s get out of here already.”