A Deal with an Upperclassman

A wave of sheer dread washed over the group.

Even ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠compared to the insufferable sophomores—whose life experiences must have twisted them so thoroughly—this was on an entirely different level. Confronting the third-year senior standing before them stirred an instinctual terror, the kind one might feel when cornered by an urban serial killer or a butcher lurking in the woods.

"First-years."

The senior spoke in a dry, raspy voice.

"Upper Class."

Just as Giselle had deduced the senior's year from the crest on his lapel, the third-year had discerned Isabelle and Giselle's standing from the pins on their collars.

"Three corpses."

His gaze swept over the three Red Teeth Mushrooms slung across the shoulders of Isabelle, Giselle, and Son Ocheon. At his words, everyone except Orknodi froze in paralyzing tension.

"If they've decreased... you must replenish them."

Vivid, gruesome scenarios flashed through their heads: foolish first-years trespassing into a third-year's clandestine breeding facility, ultimately locked away inside the empty cages as replacements.

Isabelle reflexively reached to draw her dagger, but Orknodi caught her hand in a firm grip.

"Can they be on the smaller side?"

"I'll overlook that much."

"Orknodi! What on earth are you saying?!"

Isabelle's heart plummeted, more horrified by Orknodi's negotiation than the senior's ominous aura.

"Why would you climb in there?!"

"Huh?? Why would I climb into that pen?"

"Weren't you offering to take someone's ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠place in the cage?!"

The third-year senior gave her a thoroughly baffled look.

"What kind of third-rate necromancer do you take me for?"

"Wait... you weren't telling us to go inside...?"

"The Red Teeth Mushrooms."

"Ah..."

He meant replenish what we took.

The senior gave a slow nod, and a collective sigh of relief swept through the room. They had genuinely believed they were about to be abducted, imprisoned, and harvested for parts.

"By when do you need them?"

"Until the final day my patience permits."

Giselle managed an awkward, relieved chuckle.

"What a magnanimous upperclassman you are. Thank you for your generosity. I offer my sincerest apologies for trespassing into your facility and attempting to take your mushrooms without permission."

"Gwahaha! Senior, don't you think you walk around looking a bit too terrifying? I thought you were some cultist offering human sacrifices!" Son Ocheon boomed, backing Giselle up with a hearty laugh.

However, one should always listen to the very end of a sentence.

"If you pass the deadline... you will go inside."

"Haha. My, what a chilling sense of humor."

The senior responded in a voice void of the slightest levity.

"I have never once told a joke in my life."

"......"

In the frigid, suffocating silence that followed, we quietly filed up the stone stairs.

"Orknodiii! I told you so! Why did you drag us to such a dreadful place in the first place?!"

"Owwwww! My cheeks huuuurt!"

"I'm pulling them so they hurt! Do you know how scared I was?! My heart is still pounding out of my chest!"

To be fair, I had been startled too. Getting caught red-handed of all things!

It was a rather grim development for a sudden event. Then again, the art gallery wasn't a place first-years frequented in the first place, so triggering a high-difficulty event was only natural. Under normal circumstances, students wouldn't set foot in this wing until their sophomore year unless they had enrolled in a related lecture.

"Thank you, Orknodi. Whatever the circumstances, it is thanks to you that we escaped that breeding room with our lives intact."

"Hehe. You're making me blush with all that praise."

"It irritates me slightly that you look so pleased, but my gratitude is genuine nonetheless. Still, you handled the negotiation quite skillfully earlier. Are you accustomed to such bargaining?"

"I wouldn't call it accustomed, it's just standard industry protocol. If you don't get caught, you take the loot cleanly; if you do get caught, unless you're prepared to throw hands, you repay whatever property damage you caused."

Now that I thought about it, a question crossed my mind.

"Wait, did you want to fight him?"

"Of course not. Unlike our little lady, we don't possess such an iron nerve."

"Hmph. What are you talking about? Treating me like some kind of weirdo. I was terrified back there too, you know!"

Giselle flinched.

A flicker of guilt surfaced in his squinting eyes.

"My apologies. I spoke too thoughtlessly to our little lady."

"Good, as long as you realize it. I was tense because some people demand double compensation, so finding out he only charges face value was a huge relief. If he demanded points for the vinyl wrap too, I really would've gotten chills."

"...I revoke my previous apology. It seems being thoughtless is ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠entirely appropriate on occasion."

"Uncle Giselle, you meanie!"

I looked toward Son Ocheon and Isabelle hoping for support, but their judgment-laden stares—screaming 'you're the one who's too much!'—genuinely wounded my feelings.

"So that happened. Don't you think he went too far?"

"Totally. People nowadays have zero assassin sensitivity."

I wasn't entirely sure how close Zhuang and I really were, so I had whined a bit tentatively, but her quick willingness to play along put me in high spirits.

What had we done together so far? We attended Adventurer's Night Actions every Monday and Wednesday during fifth period, snuck into the Room of Double-Sided Paper Strips at dawn, ran into each other at the Secret Training Ground...

Yeah, that's more than enough bonding time!

Even Sing, the Eastern Swordsman reputed to be the single hardest NPC to befriend, would probably see his affection meter skyrocket after spending that much time with Zhuang.

"So, how are you planning to practice, Zhuang?"

"I teamed up with Irene."

"Northern Grand Duchess Irene?!"

"I did a group project with her and Lady Arcadia before. Her ability is very practical."

Indeed, party play wasn't something that only happened when the protagonist grabbed an NPC and declared, 'You, become my comrade!' These NPCs were living people; if a task felt overwhelming alone, naturally they banded together.

"I pin the mushroom down with an adhesive spell, Irene freezes it, and I butcher it in the meantime. As long as you steer clear of the spore sacs, securing the culinary cuts is easy."

"Ooh. That's a solid combo!"

"What about you? What are you going to do about the Red Teeth Mushrooms you promised to deliver to the senior?"

"I'm going to take care of that right now. Wanna come watch?"

"Really?"

Zhuang offered a meaningful smirk behind her fox mask.

"Any other class might be one thing, but we share the assassin class. Watching you up close means I might read your techniques. Are you sure you want to show me?"

"Doesn't matter to me!"

It wasn't some grand coordinated combo like the one she had with Irene anyway.

"Step one: search for other warehouses likely to stash Red Teeth Mushrooms!"

Zhuang didn't seem surprised by hunting for storage caches; she and Irene must have gone through a similar scouting phase.

"Oh, a contraband stash."

"A potion depot? Blegh, ptui! That's not a potion, it's moonshine in a potion bottle."

"Sniff, sniff. Lots of bedding laid out and a weird smell, but no mushrooms!"

Following quietly behind, Zhuang found it increasingly amusing.

"What do you keep digging up all this junk for?"

"The spells and hiding spots sophomores use are all pretty much the same!"

"Unbelievable, really. So when are you ever going to find a Red Teeth Mushroom at this rate?"

"Huh? I've basically found them already."

"What?"

Arms loaded with contraband and moonshine retrieved from the hidden depots, I called out to a passing second-year student.

"Senior!"

"Hm? That voice... Ugh. Orknodi."

It was Bigstone—the most gullible and easily pushed around of the senior trio consisting of Bigstone, Lizna, and Moss, whom I saw every day in Developing an Eye.

"It's useless asking for past exam papers. If I sell exam sheets for Developing an Eye to someone smart like you, I'll get crushed on the grade curve, so I'm absolutely not selling."

"I don't care about past exams. I want to know about the warehouse where Red Teeth Mushrooms are hoarded. How about an information trade?"

"Ha. Such an impudent brat. Eyeing mana farming already? If the Student Council catches you, they'll bomb you with penalty points and drag you off to compulsory Student Council requests."

Zhuang looked curious about the compulsory requests, but since I already knew everything about them, I had zero interest in paying information fees to hear it again, so I showed no reaction.

"Look here. I even brought trade goods!"

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"This is... a 2,000ml beaker, a 1,000ml distillation flask, and a filter stolen from the Let's Learn Alchemy lecture. And that stuff inside the beaker is moonshine?!"

"Yup!"

"Orknodi. Tell me honestly."

Senior Bigstone glanced warily around the corridor, leaned in close, and whispered in a hushed, cautious voice.

"Did you work as a bandit out in the underworld before enrolling here, just like Professor Bronze?"

"I did not!"

Who was he calling a common thief?!

"If you don't want to buy, just say so."

"Hey, who said I didn't? I'm saying thank you. Honestly, there's one cultivation farm run by some bastards that really pissed me off, but I held back from snitching to the Student Council because I didn't want my own neck on the line. Want to trade for that location?"

"...Orknodi. If you get caught again there, are you going to run around making deals all over again? Just ask him to fetch three Red Teeth Mushrooms for you."

Last time we got caught because we moved as a clumsy mob; if I were alone, I was confident I could pull off a flawless crime using Hide.

"That's what she says."

Still, if my friend was worried, I couldn't push my luck too hard!

"Fine, fine. I can get you three easily enough."

"In exchange, I'm only telling you the location of either the contraband cache or the moonshine stash."

"The moonshine, obviously."

"Senior Bigstone, didn't you suffer a side effect from inhaling potion steam during alchemy class that makes you unable to lie? Wouldn't the professor be thrilled if you returned the stolen lab equipment?"

"I'm terrified of speaking to the alchemy professor and getting dragged into his research lab! The third-years work without sleep, guzzling mental stimulant potions—making eye contact with them is downright horrifying!"

"Could happen, I suppose!"

"You don't get it. They turn into complete wrecks, eyes glittering weirdly, glowing fluorescent green even in pitch-black rooms!"

"Oh! I'm planning to buy that glowing eye upgrade later."

Bigstone was struck completely speechless.

Seizing the opening, Zhuang chimed in with a sharp remark.

"You're quite fainthearted, Senior. People like us can operate just fine on one hour of sleep a day."

"And what kind of people are 'people like you'...?"

Zhuang casually slipped a dagger from her wide sleeve, spun it deftly across her knuckles, and flicked her wrist.

Thwack!

A moth fluttering past was pinned cleanly to the wall, dead. Senior Bigstone's complexion drained of all color.

"People like this."

Bigstone fell instantly silent.

His eyes silently cursed me, wondering where on earth I had dug up another psycho just like myself.

"What's wrong with Zhuang?!"

Sure, she was an assassin, excelled at wetwork, and had a nasty habit of materializing soundlessly behind people, but she was a kind-hearted, cute friend who was terrified of ghosts and the undead.

Why did he have to look at her like that?