Life Advice (4)
The law of the jungle.
Noah had always believed those words were the one truth of the world that had never once changed since humanity first drew breath. The weak were culled. The strong took everything. There were no exceptions.
And yet Suzuki, who sat at the very apex of the food chain, was always the one getting eaten.
She still remembered the first time he came home from school with a scrap of paper taped to his back that read Idiot! The shock of it had bordered on horror. By Noah's understanding of the world, it made no sense at all.
Suzuki was a god of combat. His reflexes, strength, and agility were exceptional—if not quite on her level—and when it came to durability, he was in a class of his own.
His mindset was just as sharp. Marksmanship meant nothing if you couldn't pull the trigger on a living person. Cruelty was a talent every yakuza needed, and in that department Suzuki was a genius.
Genji himself had said the boy had the makings of the finest yakuza alive. That should have been the last word on the subject.
So why did he get kidnapped by someone offering him candy?
How did he become a bullying target a week into elementary school?
And how, somehow, was he still being bullied now that he was a senior in high school?
You wouldn't understand if you hadn't lived it.
The sheer frustration of watching a kid who could flatten grown adults come home from getting picked on by his own classmates and bawl his eyes out!
Noah used to pound her own chest in exasperation just looking at him. Maybe that was why it had never quite grown in.
"How long are you planning to live as a bottom-feeder, Coco?"
"Eh, eh..."
"Don't you even know how to get angry?"
They were on the road from the dessert shop toward the shopping streets. Noah asked the question out of nowhere, still working a piece of candy around her mouth.
Suzuki fidgeted, answering in a small voice.
"Then... people would hate me."
"I'm always angry. I've still got plenty of friends. It's fine to get mad once in a while."
Suzuki turned his head away and muttered,
"Even you don't have any friends, little oyabun..."
A vein popped on Noah's brow. She grabbed him by the nape and shook him.
"Eeeek! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Noah let out a long sigh.
This counseling session had started as a way to kill time, but she'd called Suzuki because, as a living lesson in what not to do, there was no one more qualified.
The truth was, the one she really wanted to turn into a social butterfly was Suzuki.
It wasn't as if Noah had never tried.
Once, she'd sat him down and drilled his speech and manners into him.
...With a certain amount of violence. It had been a necessary evil. At the rate he was going, she was going to die of an aneurysm.
It had worked, in a way. He stopped stuttering. He could meet people's eyes. He looked decent enough; she figured that would do it.
The problem was he only acted normal in front of her.
The second she was gone, he reverted to the same pathetic mess.
Worse, the "education" had the side effect of planting some very strange fetishes.
This one's a lost cause. He's graduating soon anyway.
Noah decided she'd just have to fix her client, Natsumi, instead.
The girl had been studying hard since earlier. The results looked promising.
"Coco. I have a favor to ask."
"A f-favor? From trash like me...?"
"It's something only trash like you can do. A normal person couldn't pull it off the way you can."
Suzuki stared at the floor with a gloomy expression and nodded.
"What... should I do...?"
"Try getting close to Natsumi. Today."
"Whaaat...?"
Impossible. Absolutely impossible.
Suzuki shook his head. This was a man who would bomb the Emperor without a second's hesitation if ordered. But this—this was too much.
Noah's expression turning ice-cold was the natural next step.
"You dare disobey my order?"
"B-but..."
"No more talking. Go."
Noah shoved Suzuki at Natsumi like she was throwing a Poké Ball.
Natsumi looked at Noah, baffled.
"If you can hold a conversation with Coco, school life's going to be a breeze."
Kind Noah added an explanation. Natsumi nodded, still looking dazed.
Only then did Chise notice the empty seat beside them and scramble to fill it. She asked,
"Noah, can I ask what you're planning?"
"No."
"Come on, don't be like that."
"...Chise. When you talk to Coco, what goes through your head?"
Chise gave an awkward smile.
"Well... I guess... you know."
Yuria was curious too. She hadn't spoken with Suzuki much. He was a club member, after all; knowing a little in advance would help her get along with him.
Chise scratched her cheek and said, gently,
"It feels... unpleasant, I suppose."
"Right?"
Keck!
Yuria glanced away, worried Suzuki might have overheard. Fortunately they were far enough that he probably hadn't.
This was gossip, no matter how you sliced it.
Honest Yuria narrowed her eyes and scolded Chise.
"Senpai. Even if he can't hear you, that's going too far."
"Ichinose. About Suzuki..."
Chise said with an embarrassed laugh,
"Sometimes he tries to peek at Noah's panties, or sneak off with the socks she's worn."
Noah corrected her, perfectly calm.
"Not sometimes. Often."
The testimony only got more vivid.
"There was a time he got caught secretly sniffing the clothes we'd sent out for laundry. After that we just started buying a new uniform every time instead of washing them."
Yuria's eyes grew colder by the second.
"Oh, and this happened too. When Noah first started middle school, he got caught planting a hidden camera in the bathroom and got beaten within an inch of his—"
Now Yuria could say it without a shred of hesitation.
"That's disgusting."
Noah nodded, looking at her.
"A perfectly natural reaction for a human being."
"He's a good person aside from all that, though. Um... Suzuki-san makes a really good cup of instant ramen."
"The minuses outweigh the pluses by a mile!"
Yuria was aghast.
"Chise."
"Hm?"
"Where are we even going?"
For the record, Noah was walking in front.
"We were following you, Noah...?"
"S-senpai. Don't tell me you've just been walking with no plan at all?"
Noah nodded.
Her only goal had been to get Suzuki and Natsumi talking. After that, she figured they'd figure something out on their own if they just did... whatever. There was no plan.
"Where do ordinary high school girls usually hang out?"
"Hmm. That's a tough one."
Yuria cleared her throat.
With all eyes on her, she put on a leisurely smile.
"You don't even know that? Senpai, you two have a surprisingly cute side."
"Itchi, you know?"
Look at her showing off.
"Of course I do. If you insist, I suppose I could tell you."
"Would you? Please."
Chise thought, smiling,
So that's why Ichinose isn't popular.
Yuria tossed her hair and declared, lofty as a queen,
"Karaoke. For a high school girl, it's a mandatory course—five times a week, no exceptions."
The truth was she'd never been even once. She just wanted to go with them.
The reaction was icier than expected, so she added, a little defensively,
"You're not going to say no, are you? If you've never even been to karaoke, you fail as a high school girl..."
"Karaoke's out."
"Whyyy!"
Yuria thrust both hands down and stuck out her lower lip.
"If a bomb went off in there, there'd be nowhere to run."
"Right?"
Chise nodded in sympathy.
"You can't hear anything. You can't smell anything. It's the worst."
Yuria puffed her cheeks out.
"If you just don't want to go, say so honestly."
A bomb? Was that even a real reason?
Yuria sulked.
Chise thought for a moment, then said,
"Hmm. How about shopping? I just moved, so I need a bunch of things anyway."
If they just needed somewhere to kill time, anywhere was fine. They'd reform themselves on their own. Noah didn't hesitate.
"Let's go to the department store."
"What's this all of a sudden? They're kicking everyone out?"
"I heard a VIP's coming."
"Does that make any sense? They're emptying a whole department store for one person?"
"I'm never shopping here again."
A tide of disgruntled customers poured out through the doors.
Yuria's mind left her body. Culture shock had taken it hostage.
She'd overheard Chise on the phone earlier saying, Please clear the floor so we can shop.
She had not, in her wildest dreams, imagined that "clear the floor" meant the people.
They stepped inside.
The elevator carried them to the eighth floor, where the staff were already waiting in two neat lines.
"It is an honor to welcome you to our Minato store. We shall devote ourselves entirely to your service for the remainder of the day."
The manager standing in the center bowed from the waist with exquisite courtesy.
Chise answered as if this were the most ordinary thing in the world.
"Thank you, as always, for the warm welcome."
Yuria stared at her as if she'd seen a ghost.
I-is this just what rich people do?
Of course, only a Fujiwara could get away with something this insane.
It was a precaution against the possibility of assassination.
Even Noah, who hated fuss more than anything, never bothered to stop it.
An assassin was never more dangerous in some deserted alley than in a crowd at its thickest.
"Chise, hurry up."
Noah said it without a shred of interest.
"Coming!"
Chise giggled and hooked her arm through Noah's. Yuria started to follow—and then Natsumi let out a piercing shriek.
"S-Suzuki-senpai? What are you doing?"
"Ah, I... I... th-that's... I've run into t-too many people, my nausea is... uuurgh...!"
Run.
Yuria swallowed hard and fled at a brisk walk. That spot was hell.
Noah and Chise had already wandered into a clothing boutique and were browsing. Yuria hovered beside Chise like a decorative figurine, not quite sure where to put herself.
Standing still felt painfully awkward, so she figured she might as well try something on, and picked up the first thing her hand found.
Wooow. It's gorgeous.
A white dress. She'd grabbed it at random, and it was still exactly to her taste.
And then—
She saw it.
The price hanging beside the name tag.
"?"
Every nerve ending in Yuria's body locked up.
The number soared so far past imagination that she felt genuinely nauseous. With trembling hands, she tried to hang it back up. And then—
"Ah, miss. I'll take that for you."
One attendant per guest!
Yuria had arrived with ultra-VIP Chise and Noah. Of course the store was giving her the same grade of service.
And VIPs, as a rule, bought whatever they touched.
The clerk asked, all kindness,
"Shall I have it wrapped?"
For a normal person, a single no would have ended it.
For Yuria, whose pride was the only thing keeping her upright, that was not an option.
"……."
She stared into the middle distance and thought,
If I pick up three more part-time jobs and put it on a ten-year installment plan, I could probably afford it, right?
If that was what it took to keep her dignity, it was a bargain......
"Ah, what a cute dress."
Chise, standing beside her, beamed and asked,
"Want to try it on?"
"B-but."
She was about to stammer that it was far too expensive when Chise stroked her hair and said,
"This is the kind of thing a senpai buys for you. You don't have to worry about it."
Yuria nearly cried.
She looked up at Chise with shining, grateful eyes.
Then a thin thread of reason crawled back into place.
It's too expensive to accept as a simple favor...
She knew perfectly well that an amount like this meant nothing to Chise.
To Yuria, it was a fortune. Her conscience would not allow it.
"I'm all right, Fujiwara-senpai. I wasn't planning to buy it."
"You should at least try it on..."
"Dresses aren't really my style, I'm afraid."
Yuria refused with a humble little smile.
"Quit being a pain in the ass and take it when it's offered."
Flick!
"Hyeek!"
Noah's forehead flick dropped her where she stood.
The force of it was enough to take the strength right out of her legs.
While Noah's group enjoyed a blissful shopping trip, Natsumi was being thoroughly tormented by Suzuki.
I want to go home.
He would suddenly throw up.
If a clerk so much as spoke to him, he would whimper and hide behind her.
If she let even a flicker of irritation show, he would liquefy on the spot and puddle on the floor.
At first she had been genuinely worried. Now she was just annoyed. She was timid herself, but Suzuki was on another level.
...Frankly, he looked like a full-blown mental case.
I can't believe people like this actually exist. Don't tell me... I don't come across like this to other people, do I?
The thought alone was horrifying.
I am never becoming that kind of person, Natsumi swore to herself.
"Um... u-umm..."
"Ah, yes."
"My stomach... my stomach hurts..."
Natsumi sighed right in his face.
"What is it this time?"
"I-it's just, we've walked so much..."
He said it staring at the floor, trembling all over, and something hot and unnameable twisted in her gut.
"...How much walking have we even done. We haven't set foot in a single store."
"I... I can't..."
Thump.
Suzuki crumpled into a corner.
"Haah, senpai."
The hot thing writhing in her stomach climbed higher. Natsumi dropped the shy smile she usually wore and looked down at him, her face gone flat.
"Please cut it out. Honestly, you're exhausting."
"……."
As if on cue, they ran into Noah's group, who had just finished shopping.
Chise blinked her huge eyes and covered her mouth.
"Oh my. Suzuki-san's turned into pudding."
"What's his problem this time."
"...Should we be calling an ambulance?"
Natsumi's face brightened. Was she finally getting out of this hell? Those three looked like saviors.
Noah planted herself in front of Suzuki.
"Snap out of it, Coco. Your master's here."
"Hueh...?"
Suzuki came to and looked up.
His face went scarlet.
He drooled, then wiped it away with a wet little slurp.
"O-oh, today's... white... isn't it... young lady..."
"……."
"……."
A solemn hush fell over the floor.
Natsumi looked at Suzuki with ice in her eyes.
"That's disgusting."
She bowed to Noah with a look of pure distaste.
"I'll be going. Thank you so much for today."
"Sure."
Noah waved her off without a fuss. Natsumi turned her back and vanished without a shred of lingering attachment. Whatever goodwill she'd had was thoroughly spent.
It felt like a storm had just rolled through.
Yuria wanted to offer Suzuki some comfort, but she couldn't quite bring herself to approach.
...He's going to try to peek at my panties too, isn't he.
That was when she met Suzuki's eyes—empty, as if the soul had fallen out of them.
Yuria slowly turned her head and looked away.
Suzuki drew a knife with trembling hands.
"I-I'll begin my seppuku now."
"Don't! I'm the one who's sorry!"