Oh dear. Being too popular must be tiring. (056)
"......Pardon?"
I couldn't believe my ears. A little sister? Why the hell was a little sister popping up out of nowhere?
"Wait, you have a little sister?"
"Yes. I do."
"Then why the fuck are you trying to set me up with your little sister?"
Madness flickered in Lucius's eyes. Then, with the most serious face imaginable, he launched into his grand pitch.
"Not because she's my sister or anything, but she's really pretty."
This guy's a total psycho. His own sister is pretty? What a fucking nutjob.
"You don't believe me."
"Nah, it's not that I don't believe you. I just hate that kind of phrasing on principle."
Honestly, if my sister or little bro ever got a crush or boyfriend, I'd wanna crack the guy's skull open and dissect his brain. Is this dude even human?
Lucius shook his head firmly.
"The reason I hold my little sister's looks in such high regard has nothing to do with some empty sibling bond bullshit."
"Then what?"
"She takes after me."
"......Huh?"
"We're identical twins."
This motherfucker is a straight-up narcissist. How overflowing with self-love do you have to be to call her pretty just because she looks like you?
As I gaped in shock, Lucius drove the nail in.
"You wouldn't go making promises you can't keep, right?"
"......"
"But if you really wanna, you could buy me one meal a day for a whole year. Even that wouldn't cover a tenth of what I lost today."
Ah, fuck. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
Meet his sister, or eat one meal a day with this psycho for a year straight.
The second option alone made my stomach twist just thinking about it. Hearing him tap that calculator every goddamn mealtime? I'd puke. Straight up.
"Oh, and for reference, my sister only shares my looks. She's a super boring, ordinary person."
"......Isn't that high praise?"
"Spot on. From my perspective, she's dull as dishwater, no fun at all, with values and ambitions that don't match her killer looks. But to some guy, she'd be the perfect 'proper lady'—that old-school ideal women are supposed to be. Dudes eat that shit up, right?"
True, I guess. But still.
Meet this lunatic's sister? Genes don't lie, man.
"Lemme think it over."
"Decide before Region Tour ends."
"Got it."
I turned away with a nauseated grimace. Lucius was already unfolding his notepad again, grinning like a Cheshire cat as he tallied up.
That little demon.
Splash, splash.
"Ughhh. Ah, this feels fucking amazing."
Soaking in the cold stream water brought out this rustic vibe automatically. After washing up, my whole body felt refreshed.
I wasn't the only one—the other guys looked just as relieved.
"Feels like I can live again."
"No stink anymore. Finally feel human."
I'd kill for a hot bath, but I wasn't greedy. Just scrubbing down in this clear stream was thanks enough.
I shook out my wet hair roughly and climbed onto the bank.
Then.
"Lord Kasian."
"Shit, you scared me!"
My heart nearly jumped out. Lucius popped out from god-knows-where. Where the hell did he come from? Ninja?
Was this leading to a ninja massacre ending or what?
"When'd you wash up?"
He definitely wasn't there when we all hit the water earlier.
Lucius was spotless, changed into fresh clothes, hair not even damp—fluffy as hell.
"Handled a lot of chemicals, so I used portable cleansing stuff separately."
"......Were they that dangerous?"
"Nah, but better safe than sorry."
......Better safe than sorry, so only you play it safe, asshole? What are we, lab rats?
I let out a disbelieving chuckle.
"You're showing your true colors all of a sudden."
"That's why you're talking casual to me now, right?"
Fuck. He was right. I'd slipped into banmal without thinking.
Shouldn't get too chummy with this guy. Felt like he was reeling me in.
As I flapped my mouth in panic, Lucius grinned.
"No take-backs. Speak freely."
"Can't we keep it formal? Just a bit?"
"You'll be paying off that meal debt, so we'll see each other plenty. Why bother with formalities? It's exhausting."
"......"
Couldn't argue with that. But it still felt slimy. Like a loan shark going, "Call me bro, punk."
"......Fine. Whatever."
"Smart choice."
Lucius nodded approvingly. I shook my head and trudged toward the tents.
That's when.
"Lord Kasian!"
A familiar pink head was trotting over from that direction.
"Ah, yeah."
Lily had washed up too—her hair was still damp and glossy. Normally, her dry, fluffy fur-like strands made her look like a total doggo, but today...
Hmm. Still total doggo vibes.
Like a pup drenched after a bath, pre-dry, all clumped up.
Lily's eyes sparkled as she asked,
"Eaten yet? Everyone's cooking over there!"
"Don't worry about me—take care of yourself first. You eaten?"
"Hehe. Was waiting for you to eat together."
Good girl. Such a loyal pupper.
"Alright, let's go."
Then Lucius slid right up beside us, bold as brass.
"Mind if I join?"
"......"
What the hell is this guy?
Ignoring my shit-eating-stare, Lucius flashed Lily the friendliest smile and bowed.
"Sorry for the late intro. Lucius from Alchemy."
"Ah, hi. Lily."
Neither using family names—such a weird culture. Lily's from a fallen house, fine, but Lucius? With all that cash splash, his family's loaded. Why no surname?
Lucius looked up and casually tossed out bait.
"Hit me up anytime for motion sickness pills. I make killer tonics and first-aid stuff."
"No thanks! Appreciate it, but can't impose."
Lily waved him off.
......Why did this feel awkwardly off?
Lucius feigned disappointment.
"Impose? You're the closest friend of someone I'm sponsoring."
"Sponsoring?"
Lily's eyes went wide.
"Yeah. To build a solid relationship, soon we'll—"
"Stop."
Smack. I clapped my hand over Lucius's mouth on reflex. Crude, but necessary. If he spat out "sister" or "setup," Lily's head would bloom with misunderstandings.
"Mmph? Mmmph?"
"Don't spread misunderstanding bait everywhere."
Lucius wriggled free and beamed.
"Got it."
Look at that eye-smile. Instinct screamed: This guy's a pro. Pressuring me to decide quick.
"Let's just eat."
I shoved Lucius's back and herded Lily along.
After dinner.
I stared speechless at the sight before me.
"......"
A massive olive-drab tent. The drab, bulky kind you'd see in the army.
"Ah, fuck."
The curse slipped out. Had to sleep in a 24-man tent. Fuck, I wanted to torch it.
I could already picture what awaited inside without peeking. Sweat stench, foot funk, snoring, teeth-grinding. Some idiots think torture means pulling nails, but they've never done group camping. That's the real hell.
I stood there dazed when the tent flap rustled and someone emerged.
"Oh? Lord Kasian!"
A guy from our group. Spotting me, he yelled inside.
"Yo! Kasian's here! Make room!"
Crash, bang!
"You made it!"
"Over here! Saved the prime spot inside!"
"Double mats on the floor—super cushy!"
The horde poured out, staring at me like gangsters welcoming the boss. Like those underling bros greeting the mob head—but their casual tones made it even weirder.
"......What're you doing?"
"Gotta treat a hero like a hero."
"We'll crash by the entrance. Can't let you catch the draft after all your hard work."
Why were their eyes all sparkly and shit? This was suffocating.
Meanwhile, Lucius clucked his tongue behind me.
"Oh dear. Being too popular must be tiring."
"......And you?"
"Got my own solo tent."
Lucius pointed to a cute, comfy one-person tent way off.
"Humidity control for alchemy gear, perfect soundproofing. Wanted to bunk with you guys, but Prof. Wilhelm okayed solo camping since I gotta pull an all-nighter on safety reports for those potions."
"......"
Should I kill him? Murderous rage bubbled up.
As I clenched my fist, Lucius smirked and whispered,
"Think positively about my offer earlier, and maybe I'll share the tent."
"Fuck off."
"Shame. Sweet dreams then. With the sweat smells."
Lucius waved cheekily and vanished into his luxury suite.
I sighed deeply and stepped toward the gates of hell, teeming with 24 dudes.
"Ha......"
This fucking sucked.
That night.
In Wilhelm's tent, where he was drafting the Region Tour report solo, a black-clad agent of indeterminate gender entered.
Wilhelm asked without looking up from his map.
"Investigation done?"
"Thought it'd go smooth with the princess's guards cooperating, but."
The agent's voice held subtle distress.
Wilhelm's brow twitched.
"But?"
"More magical beasts than expected, and they're unusually ferocious."
Ferocious beasts meant dense negative mana concentration hereabouts. The issue was the cause.
"Dungeon outbreak nearby?"
"Can't rule it out, but no traces yet."
"Mana detector?"
"Didn't anticipate needing high-end near the capital. Brought mid-grade."
The agent bowed.
"It confirms elevated mana across the forest, but no dungeon entrance."
Detectors for beasts and dungeons were pricey consumables. Grand Tour? Sure. But for routine Region Tour near the capital? Overkill on budget. Wilhelm didn't blame them.
The escorts alone were excessive for a local loop—and that was his push for a bolder itinerary.
"Hmm."
Wilhelm stroked his goatee.
Either a nasty high-tier dungeon invisible to mid-grade, or just a temporary mana spike.
Logically, the latter.
Capital area got full beast sweeps multiple times a year. Odds of a sudden high dungeon? Lower than lightning strike on a stroll.
Still, Wilhelm opted for caution. Student safety first.
"Cancel tomorrow's schedule. Camp here. Send urgent to capital for high-grade detector and extra investigators."
"Understood."