"I'm flipping over on my back and begging you to spare me" 052
"……."
"……."
I realized with a start. My manners weren't just lacking—they were nonexistent. Sure, I'm the guy who treats this world's noble etiquette like chewed-up trash, but trying to crab-walk away from the princess right in front of me with a half-assed bow? That was basically screaming "I hate you" with every fiber of my being.
I quickly straightened up and flashed the gentlest smile imaginable.
"Ah, my apologies. Please forgive my rudeness. Well then."
I lobbed out an obvious lie and tried to bolt.
But a chilling voice stabbed into my back from behind.
"Wait."
"……."
"My mind's too noisy, so I was thinking of taking a stroll. Would you care to escort me?"
No thanks. The words bubbled right up to the tip of my tongue, tickling.
But the other party was the princess. If I spat out something like "No thanks? I'm good?" here, tomorrow's morning paper might scream [Parne Family's Second Son Beheaded for Blasphemy Against the Imperial Family].
Swallowing bloody tears inside, I answered with utmost courtesy.
"……It would be an honor."
Step, step.
An awkward silence hung over the forest path. I trudged along blankly.
What can I say. That potion I'd chugged earlier had worked wonders, wiping out every bit of physical fatigue. Honestly, I didn't even need the rest.
But the problem was my mental state.
Isn't this girl going a bit too far?
I glanced sideways. Evelyn looked like she was carrying the weight of every depression in the world on her shoulders.
Normally, I'd pull some "Aigoo, my poor back" fake illness to bail, but her face was in such bad shape. It was plastered with "I'm depressed right now. Touch me and eternity will remember this day forever."
Her reputation around us, and even the original story that just popped into my head, painted her as someone who managed her image perfectly—like a lofty swan.
Which meant these "pathetically depressed princess moments" I kept witnessing were limited-edition skins only I could see.
Of course, I'd pass on owning such a limited edition. I'd post it for free on the cabbage market and even cover shipping to get rid of it.
What the hell did I do to make her face rot like that every time?
It was getting on my nerves. What if I actually stacked up real grudges with an imperial family member?
I had a rough idea of the reason anyway. It was that ridiculous magic I'd pulled off earlier, obviously.
She, the so-called genius, couldn't even imagine the method I'd used to solve the problem, so her pride must've taken a nasty scratch.
Fuck, I can't even tell her it wasn't my skill but my ability clicking away, so no need to feel inferior.
Damn it. Guess I had to play along?
In a class society like this, the default is for underlings to grovel and cater to their superiors' moods.
I swallowed a deep sigh and casually spoke to Evelyn walking beside me.
"That thing I did earlier."
"……."
"You were gonna ask how I did it, right?"
Evelyn's steps halted abruptly. She turned to me and snapped sharply.
"Why bring it up now?"
Her eyes were pure venom. Argh, screw it.
"Why? Ever since you saw it, Your Highness has 'troubled' written across your face in huge letters."
"Quite the blunt speaker, aren't you?"
Evelyn's eyebrow twitched. She clearly looked flustered by my unexpectedly direct words and actions. Most noble ladies were masters at beating around the bush, so a straight-ball pitcher like me must've been a first.
But I pressed on stubbornly. Even if it meant risking my neck, clearing the air now would make my future easier.
"If Your Highness looks that troubled, people around will read it. And they'll all assume."
"Assume what?"
"Ah, Her Highness must think very poorly of Kasian del Parne. That guy's done something to piss her off."
"……."
"So what happens to my reputation? Outcast from the imperial gaze. Public enemy number one. Something like that."
Evelyn let out an incredulous scoff.
"Are you saying I'm inciting people with personal feelings right now?"
"No. I'm saying Your Highness's position is so exalted that a single cough or glare can sway everyone."
"And?"
Evelyn crossed her arms and glared at me.
"So you're warning me? Manage your expressions properly?"
"No."
I answered instantly.
"I'm flipping over on my back and begging you to spare me."
"……Huh?"
Flustered confusion deepened on Evelyn's face. She eyed me like I was a talking monkey.
"……Do you have no basic pride as a noble? Flipping over on your back? Using such vulgar expressions……."
"Nope, none."
"……."
"Truth is, last time I acted like a total asshole in front of Your Highness, I regretted it right away in a fit of anger. Oh shit, I'm screwed. Couldn't sleep that night thinking about it."
"……So now you're being polite?"
……Beats me. Even I thought my current speech was miles from polite.
But whatever. That's what the thug dropout title's for. Looked like it'd get revoked soon anyway, so use it while I could.
"Anyway. If you keep getting pissed at a guy like me, my life gets way too exhausting. You're imperial royalty, after all."
"……."
"I'm not asking for anything grand. Just treat me like I'm invisible. Don't hate me, don't like me. See me as Roadside Pebble A and I'd be grateful."
Evelyn fell silent for a while. She stared at me with complicated eyes. Contempt, curiosity, bafflement, and who knows what else—all mixed in.
After a long silence, Evelyn spoke.
"If I keep giving you side-eye…… it sounds like you'd leave the capital?"
Oh. As expected of a genius. She nailed it even through my garbled mess.
I widened my eyes in admiration.
"How'd you know?"
"……."
The princess looked utterly stunned. Guess she hadn't expected me to confirm it.
I drove the nail in with utmost seriousness.
"I'd quit everything and head home to live quietly."
"……Pardon?"
"I came to the capital against my will anyway, and I've been hanging on without an excuse to leave. Your Highness hating me? Perfect excuse right there."
I chattered excitedly. Just imagining it made me happy.
"I'd go to Father and say, 'Your Highness hates even my breathing. For the family's sake, I'll retire to the countryside.' Even he'd have to say, 'Can't be helped.'"
"……."
"Then I'd live like a dead man—quietly breathing, farming, and dying of old age. That's my dream."
Evelyn's red eyes shook like there was an earthquake. It must've been beyond her common sense.
"……You're serious?"
"Of course."
Please just let me go for real.
Ah. If my conscience were a bit more rotten, I'd have built this up on purpose to force Father's hand into letting me retire.
No matter how I thought about it, I was too conscientious and good a son.
Evelyn glanced sideways at the man walking beside her without breaking stride.
Was he serious? He sure looked it. His eyes held not a speck of longing for the capital's glittering lights or the honors the imperial family might bestow. Just a primal yearning to go home, burning fiercely.
But his words still had holes. So Evelyn poked at them.
"Then why not demand to retire back when you were infamous as Parne's barbarian?"
"……."
"Or even now, appeal this situation to the Palace Count. You could retire anytime. 'Father, I've done such great service—grant me one wish.'"
It was spot on. Which made it feel strangely off.
Why?
Evelyn quickly realized the source of her discomfort.
His words have gaps, but they don't feel like lies.
Usually, it was the opposite. Capital nobles spouted perfectly logical words laced with black lies inside. She and her brother had been drilled most rigorously in piercing, crushing, and dismantling those deceptions.
For some reason, this man said things that didn't add up, yet they rang true. The polar opposite of noble rhetoric.
Thinking back, the reason he'd always flustered her was probably because she couldn't leverage her usual communication superiority.
From their first meeting to this moment. He'd just been honest.
Kasian smirked at Evelyn's question and replied.
"No way I could."
"Why not?"
"Because I respect and love my father."
"……I'd like a more detailed explanation."
Kasian scratched the back of his head and continued flatly.
"Nah, he called me because he wanted to. Whether it was because he hated seeing me rot in the countryside or he wanted to mold me into something useful for a task."
"……."
"How could I whine to a father like that about wanting to go home for selfish reasons? That'd be unfilial."
Evelyn's eyes trembled faintly. She'd seen countless people proclaim their filial piety before. Most were calculated acts for family glory or succession schemes.
But this man was different. That stubbornness to forsake his own comfort rather than defy his father's will.
I thought he was a barbarian…… but he's a man with faith deeper than knighthood.
But questions remained.
"You say if situations like today repeat, you'll go home? Isn't that contradictory?"
"I did my absolute best today."
Kasian cut in sharply. Not a hint of hesitation in his voice.
"Faced a scene I'd never seen before, and to not turn my back on those living in hellish conditions, I poured out every ounce of my ability. Until my body nearly shattered."
"……."
"If doing my honest best in that situation still gets me on Your Highness's bad side, that's unavoidable. My father wouldn't blame me for lack of skill."
Kasian shrugged.
"So he'd say, 'You're not cut out for the capital—go home, live quietly, and die.' Wink at expelling me and approving my retirement. In other words, it's not unfilial—it's just inevitable."
At some point, Evelyn stopped hearing anything. Words like ability verification or filial piety evaporated from her mind.
Only one hammered her eardrums.
"……Your body."
A rough phrase she'd never uttered, absent from any imperial vocabulary. So Evelyn hesitated unwittingly.
"……Is it bad?"
"Yep. Nearly shattered. You think I'd come out unscathed from that mess? Thought I was gonna die."
Thud.
Evelyn's heart plummeted to her feet. Shock.
She'd seen him casually rub his arm and look up at her after that insane magic, so she'd assumed he was fine. But even a shred of common sense debunked that.
The magic Kasian del Parne unleashed was potent enough that even grand archmages would've suffered massive backlash.
He'd clearly burned his own body as fuel for the miracle.
"Right now…… then in that condition……."
Blinded by envy and spite, she'd only seen what she wanted—his suffering—and ignored the rest.
Evelyn's gaze swept over Kasian. He looked fine on the outside, but inside must be a wreck. Mana reflux, muscle tears, maybe even organ damage.
And he'd dragged that body along, following her escort request without complaint? Just to avoid upsetting the princess?
"Like I said earlier. Flipping over and begging you to look favorably."
This foolish man……!
Realizing how cruel she'd been, her face burned unbearably. The depression and self-loathing that had consumed her all day vanished in an instant.
All that mattered was this man on the verge of collapse before her.
Evelyn urgently grabbed Kasian's arm.
"Hurry to my carriage."