Chapter 005 This Romance Fantasy World
This insane school—does it really give professors the power to expel students? Chapter 005. This romance fantasy world. The ecosystem is thoroughly broken. They must've swapped historical accuracy for visuals. Or maybe the animals here are all jacked and need protein supplements?
The squirrels are chomping with puffed cheeks, the rabbits twitching their ears impatiently. A fantasy combo like no other.
"Agh, fine. Eat it all, go ahead and eat."
I let out a deep sigh of resignation. I pulled out the packet of bird jerky I'd tucked away to save for later. The moment the wrapper crinkled open, their eyes lit up like lasers.
"What am I, some forest princess feeding the wildlife? Am I Cinderella?"
...Or maybe Snow White? Same difference, right?
I tore the jerky into bits and scattered it on the ground. Crunch crunch. They devoured it like it was gourmet. I made it myself, so the taste was guaranteed, but I never expected rabbit chewing ASMR.
"Eat slowly, you'll choke. Find your own water."
I squatted down, watching them munch while muttering to myself.
"Should've packed extra. This was my lunch."
That's when I felt a presence behind me. Not an animal—a human one.
"...Um."
A familiar voice. The pink-haired girl from earlier.
I paused mid-toss and slowly turned. Lily was peeking out from behind a tree. She clutched the jerky packet I'd given her earlier—half gone now—with a weird expression. Like she'd spotted some exotic creature... or found a kindred spirit. Not me. The critters.
"By any chance..."
She opened her mouth cautiously.
"Do you... have more of that jerky?"
...People really are something else.
*
Munch munch. Salty crunch. Eating ASMR echoed through the quiet garden. It was the saintess plopped next to me, plus one rabbit and one squirrel, demolishing my jerky.
I leaned back against the bench, staring blankly at the bizarre scene.
...Is this for real?
If my memory of the setting was right, the pink-haired girl beside me was a regressor maxed out on male phobia and human distrust. In her past life, burned by Crown Prince Louis de Leopold and poisoned tea from the villainess—she should tremble and flee from any man.
Yet here she was, glued to my side after I straight-up called her a barbarian on first sight, chowing down on mystery dried meat. And enthusiastically at that?
Is she pre-regression, first timeline? Hasn't been broken yet?
No way. Yesterday at the banquet, that desperate flatfish dodge from Louis de Leopold's gaze was pure max-level survival regressor.
Look at her now. Mouth working nonstop on jerky, but those pastel light-green eyes darted around ceaselessly, scanning for threats.
So why'd she come back to me if she's this jittery?
Survival instinct lost to hunger? Her profile screamed saintess, but her vibe was starving wild animal.
Watching her cheeks bulge as she chewed sparked a weird urge. She was so damn cute I wanted to catch her and keep her as a pet.
Not in a criminal way, obviously. Just release her in the hills behind our territory to munch acorns—a wholesome animal lover's impulse.
"Tasty?"
"...! Y-Yes, nom, chew."
Lily jolted at my question and nodded frantically.
"You could wipe the crumbs off your mouth first before answering."
"Ah."
Her face turned beet red. Aw. Lost for words. Not my problem, though.
I stood up.
"You look uncomfortable. Wanna keep hanging here?"
"Huh? Oh... It's just empty here, perfect spot to hide..."
Lily clutched the jerky tightly as she answered.
I clicked my tongue inwardly. Pfft, perfect spot my ass. With you here, Hell's Gate opens soon.
Where there's a protagonist, drama never stops. Crown Prince or villainess would crash this peace soon enough.
I needed to bail before that.
"Alright, take care. I'm out."
As I stepped away, Lily flinched and half-stood, fumbling for my sleeve before freezing mid-air.
"Y-You're... leaving?"
"Yeah. Seen what I came for."
"If you go like this... it'll look like I chased you off... Sorry..."
Her shoulders slumped. Classic Lily guilt-trip mode activated. Pink locks drooped like a rain-soaked puppy's ears.
Any normal knight with a sense of honor would've knelt. 'No, Saintess! How dare I! I'll stay by your side!'
But not me. I was an extra wannabe who wanted zero entanglement with this protagonist.
"Doesn't matter. Pretend I got kicked out—chill."
"Oh..."
Then the squirrel and rabbit stared right at me. All three sets of eyes boring in—sudden urge to pocket her like a Pokémon surged again. So damn cute. No wonder she bewitched the Crown Prince.
These squirrel and bunny brats, though. Stuffed themselves and still eyeing more?
I pulled out another jerky pack from my pocket. Thud.
"Huh?"
It landed heavy on Lily's lap.
"The rest is a bribe. Eat solo or share—your call. No complaints later. Later."
Lily stared blankly at the jerky on her lap. Fair reaction. A woman obsessed over by the Crown Prince. A saintess. Everyone groveled, sucking up.
A guy giving free food, asking nothing, and dipping? First time this life.
Not that she'd go all, 'You're the first man to treat me this kindly! I'm intrigued!'—old-school romance cheese.
...She might, actually.
This world was trash. Plot logic? Dog food.
So, safety measure time. I paused, glancing back.
"Oh, and."
"Y-Yes?"
"This is just random food tossed your way—no meaning, not a gift or anything? Don't misunderstand I like you or whatever. Got it?"
Her eyes widened at my firm tone.
"...I-I didn't think that."
"Good. Keep the promise."
Only then did I relax and walk off. Perfect. Crushed any misunderstanding sparks. Saintess Lily would remember me as a axe-wielding barbarian soldier now. Good enough.
Thud thud. As I walked away, a faint mutter from Lily mixed with the wind.
"...Jerk..."
Mumbled, barely audible—but definitely cursing. I'd take it as praise. Made her comfy.
* * *
The tiered lecture hall air hung heavy. Specifically, the stares aimed at me.
Back door creaks open—contempt and snickers pour in.
"Look, the starving second son."
"Check the outfit. Total barbarian."
"Ugh, same class? Lowers the vibe."
Loud enough on purpose, or my ears broken? Brutally blatant.
But I noise-canceled their crap internally. Gets easier with practice.
Bark all you want; I'm napping.
I'd already claimed prime nap spot: professor-blind, easy escape, dappled shade. Flopped down, forehead to desk.
Cold wood hit skin—
BEEEEEP—!!!!
"Gah!"
Ear-shredding screech. ZZZAP! Electricity zapped my forehead from the desk.
"Ow, fuck! What the hell?!"
I leaped like a shocked frog. Ice cold! What million-volt bullshit?! Heart nearly punched out!
Hair standing on end from static, I bet. Glanced around—students smirking, like they knew.
"Pfft, he fell for it."
"Hasn't heard?"
"Can't read?"
These bastards knew and didn't warn? Where's the class spirit?
"Maybe doesn't know the prof's measures. Someone tell him."
Oh, right—I'm the outcast.
Then—BAM! Front door slams open. Chill air rushes in. Snickers cut dead.
Click clack, click clack. Sharp heels echo.
The woman ascending the podium wore a black suit like for an award show. Jet-black hair in a messy bun, blood-red eyes flashing. Eyes behind sharp silver glasses fiercer than a beast's.
She smacked the lectern like a baton.
"First day, before class even starts, we have a brave soul trying to sleep?"
Calm voice laced with thorns that stung.
Her gaze lasered me.
"Didn't I announce sleep-prevention magic on my classroom desks?"
Ah. Her. The research nut, genius prof the explainers mentioned. Skipped entrance ceremony for lab. World doesn't have two profs that young.
Wait, why's she here? I didn't sign up for her class!
"Pleased to meet you all. Due to the previous prof's circumstances, I'll be taking over Introduction to Magical Engineering."
Fuck. Drop needed. Shit—no cancellations here.
...Screwed. That woman's no ordinary psycho.
Beyond Speedwagon's intel. Who rigs desks with shock mats?!
I clutched my ringing head, standing awkwardly. She adjusted her glasses, nodding at me.
"Name?"
"...Kasian."
"Kasian."
She flipped the roster, rolling my name like tasting it. Not casual. Mad scientist eyeing a specimen.
"Kasian del Parne. Correct?"
"...How'd you know?"
My infamy here too?
"No duplicates here."
Right. Dumbass me.
Her lip curled slyly.
"And the first student to face-plant on a desk five minutes before my class."
"...Sorry. Any leniency? First day?"
No shot. Her face screamed stonewall.
"Leniency? First day?"
She scoffed.
"This is the Academy, Mr. Parne. Sleep at home. Or drop out and nap forever."
Harsh much, prof? Dropout's my dream—why's it piss me off from you?
"And that hair."
She pointed with her baton.
"Static lion-mane. Impressive. Passion for class manifesting in follicles?"
Fuck. Not imagination. Laughter erupted.
"Pfft."
"Heh heh."
Then—
"Enjoying my student discipline that much?"
Frost gaze swept the room.
"Gloating at punishment? That's disqualification as my student."
Laughter died instantly. As expected. Arrogant type, strict on everyone. Won't tolerate dozing in her class. Or sneers at her teaching.
But desks with juice? Overkill.
"Kasian?"
"Yes."
What now? Humiliated enough.
She turned to the board without a word, scribbling. Tap! Tok tok! Tap!
Gibberish. "I'm a magic formula" vibes.
She set down the chalk.
"Solve it."
Me? Thought only to myself. Her face wasn't joking.
"Solve, and I'll overlook your rudeness. But."
But what? Cut me from class? Fine by me—wanna drop.
"Fail, and expulsion. My authority."
...Expulsion? From school?
This mad school gives professors student-cutting power?
This half-assed world for real.