Chapter 24: I really just wanted to shut my eyes and say okay.
Farewell... my lottery ticket... my fate...
Chapter 24: I really just wanted to shut my eyes and say okay. Even though I'd sorted out my thoughts beforehand, that resolve shook right down to the roots. Unlimited funding support, a personal greenhouse—what was this if not the dream and ultimate goal of a potato farmer like me?
Just... pretend I didn't see it?
The devil whispered in my ear.
This was something even Professor Iris would go, "Eh, this one's a bit much." Just do it.
Yeah, that's what I think too.
But then, that cotton-candy pink hair flashed through my mind. That harmless face munching on jerky on the bench.
...Goddamn it, for real.
I rubbed my dry face and carefully opened my mouth.
"By any chance, am I the only disciple you're considering?"
"No idea why you'd ask, but no, there isn't."
The Muller Viscountess shook her head firmly.
"Talents like you don't come around often. A noble who knows the smell of soil? You're like a unicorn."
As expected. Thanks to my meddling, Lily hadn't even caught Muller's eye.
I didn't remember every detail of the original story, but that much stuck out clearly in the fragments I recalled. In the original, Lily had caught Muller's attention right from the first class. The Viscountess recognized her talent and became her rock-solid supporter, backing her in every way.
But if I stole that spot?
Lily's second-chance life turns into a thorny path for sure.
She was already busy dodging the crown prince; if her one safe haven vanished, she'd have nowhere to go.
Agh, fuck, this feels so goddamn sticky.
Stealing the happiness she would've had if I hadn't shown up—this was a complicated mess. Sucking the honey while ruining someone else's life? I'd feel shitty forever. Choking on meals, nightmares in my sleep, sleep paralysis gripping me tight. And in that paralysis, someone whispering in my ear, "Give me back my supporter."
Worst case, like I thought earlier, this world wasn't an apocalypse, and straying from the original plot probably wouldn't fuck everything up completely.
But you never know.
In stories like this, twist the original with some karma bullshit, and suddenly shitty events explode out of nowhere. The ones who get dragged in slash through crises with aura or mana, hoarding their life coins. But me? Aside from my three-times-a-day Problem Solver skill, I've got jack shit. Fucked, right?
Damn it. Why am I worrying about someone else when it's my own fate on the line?
Maybe this line of thinking was just sour grapes to rationalize kicking away the honey pot. So I had to admit it.
Fuck, I've gotten too close to that pink-headed girl.
Even stray dogs grow on you if you feed 'em; how much more with a person? Especially one so cute it makes you want to pick her up. For real!! Agh!!!
Blood tears welled up, but I made my decision. This wasn't for Lily. It was purely selfish, just to shake off my own unease.
"...I'm sorry, but."
"Hm?"
"I don't think I can accept that offer."
The Muller Viscountess's eyebrow twitched.
"What's the reason? Not enough on the table?"
"No. The conditions are overflowing. More than I deserve."
I meant it. I'm not the type to suck toes for anyone.
"Hmmm..."
She noticed my hesitation, sank into thought for a moment, then piled on another bombshell offer.
"If you're worried about being alone, don't be. If there's a disciple you want to bring along, do it. Of course, there'll be vetting, but given you, I'll judge very positively."
Whoa. What a big-hearted lady. Going this far.
But to me, that was horrifying.
"Ah, no, absolutely not. That's not my intention."
Bring Lily and become disciples together? Seeing her face every day, plowing fields side by side, entangled in some same-school romance route? Hell no.
"Fine. Then spit it out. Whatever it is, I'll make it happen."
"...I'm really sorry, but becoming a disciple at all seems impossible."
"Why?"
"It's hard to explain. Please forgive me for not going into details."
At my firm stance, the Muller Viscountess narrowed her eyes. She stared straight into mine, then leaned back and chuckled.
"You've got some reason you can't say, right?"
"Yes. Exactly."
"For the record, it wasn't just that you gave a clear answer to my question last time that made me want you."
"...Pardon?"
What was this now?
"I watched you the whole first class—how you handled the soil, your expression."
She looked down at her own palm and continued.
"I realized your words didn't come from some book fantasy, but real experience. Someone who doesn't love the earth can't have eyes like that."
Whoa, fuck. Goosebumps. I thought this lady was just playing a concept, but she'd been observing every student's move.
Sorry for mistaking you for a salary Lupin.
"With smarts and practical skills like that, I really want to take you."
Me too. I really want to go, sis. So please stop tempting me. I'm seriously wavering here.
I bit my lip. Tasted blood. My honey jar, fuck.
At this point, I was Lily's supporter uncle, not the Viscountess.
"How about I recommend someone in exchange? Will you hear me out?"
"Hmmm?"
Her eyes sparkled with interest.
"Extending from that question about other disciples you had in mind, huh? Is this a favor ask?"
She didn't seem offended at all. If anything, she looked like she was enjoying the bold pitch.
Inside, I was roaring like a beast. A super-strong invisible dragon. Rooooar.
Fuck, favor or not, I wanna grab her pant leg, suck her toes, and beg her to take me right now.
"Not a favor. That wouldn't work on you anyway. Just... recommending a capable talent, that's all."
"Good. Tell me. Anyone you recommend must know the smell of soil at least."
True enough. That's why it's a recommendation, not a favor.
"In the herbalism class on a different day from the one I'm taking this semester."
Phew.
"There's a student named Lily."
"...Lily?"
The Muller Viscountess's eyebrow rose.
"Ah, you mean the saintess? Pink hair?"
"You know her."
That pink head was her trademark. Watching it flutter felt like cotton candy.
"Of course. She's been in the spotlight since before enrollment."
You know her, so why haven't you reached out yet? Well, probably 'cause I hogged all the aggro. Me plowing like a maniac among nobles in the first class must've locked her radar on me. Lily's twiggy little hands straining to try something? Like the difference between spicy aggro short-form vids and boring-ass documentaries.
Putting it like that, yeah, I definitely blocked Lily's path. My bad.
"Take a look at her. That's all I ask. She's..."
I chose my words carefully.
"Probably way better than me."
"Hmmm..."
The Viscountess grinned widely. Behind that smile, visions of my state-of-the-art greenhouse and unlimited card fluttered away. Goodbye... my research funds... my paradise...
"Alright."
She nodded coolly.
"I'll keep a special eye on that student. I'll trust your eye."
"Thank you."
"But on one condition."
She held up an index finger.
"If she's no good, you rethink my offer then. Deal?"
...Whoa. This lady's persistent—no, grateful. If Lily flops, I get another shot? Insurance included; she's an angel.
"Got it. Though that won't happen."
'Cause you're picking her, duh.
"Confident, huh. I like it."
The Muller Viscountess stood, grabbing her hat. I hurriedly added one thing.
"Ah, but one request."
"Always something. Out with it."
"Please, never! Absolutely never! Keep secret that I recommended her."
"Hm?"
She tilted her head curiously.
"Don't people usually want credit? Another reason you can't say?"
"No. This one I can."
I answered plainly, sincerely.
"I don't wanna get close to her."
"..."
She froze. Then, moments later.
"Ahahahaha!!"
Her booming laugh filled the parlor. She clutched her stomach, eyes tearing up.
"Man, you're hilarious. Hiding the recommendation 'cause you don't wanna get close."
"Dead serious. Getting tangled is exhausting."
"One thing's clear. You really wanna live quietly."
She wiped her tears, looking at me. Felt weird. Obvious stuff, but her piercing it felt like being stripped bare.
"Fine. But I can't promise for sure."
Why not?
"No reason. Call it the grumpiness of someone rejected after offering a blank check."
Damn. No comeback.
"...Understood."
"Professor Iris must be jealous. A disciple this loyal."
She offered a handshake. Unlike with Wilhelm earlier, I took it with genuine, heartfelt regret.
Rough, but warm hand. Smelled like money.
"Tha...nk you."
"Change your mind anytime. My door's always open."
She left coolly. Click. The door shut like a shutter on my life.
"Farewell... my lottery ticket... my fate..."
I slumped on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. Fuuuuuck. Shit.
Screeech, thud.
Stepping out of the parlor, the Muller Viscountess burst into the laughter she'd held back.
"Pfft."
The young butler guarding the door looked puzzled as he guided her to the office. She nodded lightly and followed him slowly down the hall.
Kasian's face lingered in her mind like an afterimage. That world-lost expression floating in the air.
What's with that transparency? Acting like he just missed a gold brick right in front of him.
Normally, rejecting an offer hurts pride. Kick away a blank check? The offerer could rightfully hold a grudge. Can't have what you want? Smash it—that's the merchant's creed.
Not that I'd do that, of course.
Sure, everyone knew trading wasn't her domain, but that was just the public mask. That's why the absurd offer earlier was possible.
Still, she felt refreshed. His face screamed he desperately wanted it, wanted it to madness. Who wouldn't say yes? Then that pathetic "sorry."
So obvious he hated saying it.
Never knew rejecting could feel this good.
No scratch to her pride.
Yeah, if he turns down my money and support that bad, he must have unavoidable circumstances.
Then, a sliver of doubt crossed her mind.
What if that was all an act too?