A Time of Planetary Governance That Cracks (Other People's) Heads (3)

The day after my meeting with Ungar Weik Silver (Shirogane Yuki), the Earth Alliance branch chief who sported the deeply cursed character concept of a pastel-tanned, frilly magical girl.

It had honestly been a pig stumbling backward into a truffle, which left my feelings about the whole thing somewhat complicated······.

Setting aside such trifles, though, the fact remained that either way, anyhow, we had managed to wipe out the entire leadership of the People's Party or whatever they were called in one clean stroke.

On top of that—normally in situations like this, an organization keeps backup personnel at its home base in case the leadership gets decapitated, so by all rights I should have been gearing up for another round of whack-a-mole. But apparently, the People's Party had a small problem: without the Earth Alliance's help, their downfall ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠was mathematically guaranteed, so there was no point in keeping reserves.

"Here it comes, nice and hot~"

"GUAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

We treated Giacomo and his cronies, sequestered in the underground dungeon, to the taste and aroma of a steaming bowl of hearty gukbap soup, all at once. As a bonus, they ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠got a full-body massage courtesy of Ggomuli's proudest feature, along with assorted other functions. After experiencing every exotic function under the sun, the results were that every last secret they'd been hiding came spilling out······.

"At this point, I would conclude that no personnel remain capable of inheriting the People's Party's leadership and continuing its activities."

"For real."

"After all, if even the Earth Alliance had abandoned them, there was never any hope to begin with."

The poor People's Party folks had no time to think about the future or anything as mundane as consequences. Their entire chain of command had literally charged headlong into the Earth Alliance branch office to prove their 'sincerity,' presumably to press the Underdogma buttons they'd been counting on.

The problem was that the Earth Alliance's branch chief happened to be a being sitting an aaaalll the way across the galaxy from anything resembling Underdogma.

Worse still, by the time those idiots came barreling in, she had already transformed from middle-aged man into magical girl—a being who had overcome her trauma and grown even stronger······.

Thus did the unfortunate Assemblyman Giacomo and friends end up as complete morons who had hurled themselves straight into the enemy's gaping maw.

In any case, since they hadn't been totally annihilated, a few of the holdouts back at headquarters seemed dead set on pivoting to armed struggle. There was even one incident where they infiltrated the basement of the central government building we were occupying and attempted a bombing.

But I had prepared for exactly such an occasion by installing a 'Mimic' trap system down there, built with Ilena's and everyone else's help. Beyond that, we'd thoroughly subjected the captured parties to 'mouth-fed gukbap,' 'full-body massage,' and various other torments to extract intel on the incoming infiltrators—information on their tastes, above all.

Then I'd mass-produced custom-built mimic traps calibrated precisely to those tastes, and······.

So, just using the 'Mimics'—the products of bio-experiments I'd made as a casual hobby, without giving them much thought. I'd lined them up with appearances color-coordinated to the infiltrators' tastes, and since every single one of them got conquered and hauled off to the cells before they even reached the government building.

Just as I was nodding along to Ilena's report and thinking, so is that everything done, then?—

"Oooh? Oooooh."

"Is something the matter, Doctor?"

"N-no. Nothing at all."

At the sight of concrete, unmistakable proof that the crisis was well and truly over, I let out a quiet sigh of relief on the inside.

And so, roughly in that fashion, I succeeded in resolving every last problem connected to the People's Party or whatever they were called. As a bonus, I granted Giacomo or whoever—the 'traitor' who'd tried to drag in outside powers and play at power politics—an eternity of Milano being one and indivisible.

At last the tiresome political affair had been wrapped up, more or less, through overwhelming physical force (?) and networking (not really), and I realized there were no pressing matters at hand.

Then it occurred to me to recall the faces of the various other branch chiefs I'd met so far, and I thought: if I post this to the gallery, it'll bait reactions like nobody's business.

So I immediately fired up the gallery and decided to expose the chest-swellingly magnificent lineup of the 'Milano Four Heavenly Kings' to my fellow users. Of course, I planned to mosaic out names and identifying details before posting—but actually doing it, well, how do I put this······.

"······Tsk, this really is like a cast lineup straight out of some lewd doujinshi."

Realizing it only after posting, but maybe because I'd thoughtlessly mosaicked their eyes, the already-villainous features of these individuals turned even more villainous, and on top of that, I myself ended up looking like some manner of sinister eldritch thing.

In short, I got re-enthroned as the gallery's reigning founder of new meme material. And apparently, doing it in that fashion had—entirely by accident—handed a spark of inspiration to the legions of consul shut-ins who happened to have nothing better ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to do and were loafing around······.

Before long, I watched a trend sweep across the entire gallery of everyone uploading 'mugshots' of themselves with nothing but their eyes black-lined.

And I couldn't help feeling, deep in my chest, that the currents of this world were truly beyond all comprehension.