The Head-Splitting Hours of Planetary Governance (2)
***
Unlike me, whose head practically split open at the sight of all this and who came sprinting over in a full-blown panic, Ilena listened to my breathless report, gave a single casual shrug as if there wasn't the slightest problem, and proceeded with a perfectly composed briefing.
"It's a simple matter. As things stand, our Milano System simply cannot afford to maintain four Battleship-class vessels."
"Wha—huh?"
"So while the Doctor was happily indulging her hobby of biological experimentation, President Heisenberg and I entered negotiations with the Earth Alliance, ACIC, and the Babel Cult, and agreed to sell off the battleship Pride of Lombardia, four Pegasus-class Cruisers, and thirty Cassiopeia-class Destroyers to other buyers."
"Ehhh..."
"For reference, nearly all of the proceeds from those sales went toward suppressing the coup and managing the subsequent chaos, so there isn't a great deal left over."
Ah, what a tragically sad tale.
At the same time, though, I finally understood, in perfect clarity, why Ilena and Heisenberg had looked so damnably busy all this while.
Half hoping I was wrong, I posted the situation to the gallery for cross-verification, and the results came in.
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"I see."
The resident lumps of rotten petroleum that had long since congealed in my gallery were declaring, of course, that this was a perfectly sound course of action.
Beyond that, they credited Ilena and Heisenberg's quick disposal of the fleet with keeping pointless upkeep costs from draining away.
And, as a bonus, that in a normal world the ensuing chaos would have spawned every species of rebel faction inside the system, forcing us to run around crushing them one by one like a game of whack-a-mole.
There were even mentions of planetary governments that would smell blood and demand independence, leaving us to choose between sweet-talking them into settling down or, alternatively, "beating the hell out of them."
And on top of everything else, the veterans warned that if we mishandled things, the Babel Cult — currently our ally — along with the Earth Alliance and ACIC, might well spy an opening and start playing games to seize internal control.
So in the end I realized that thanks to our two shining workhorses, my head had been spared from splitting after all — and I wept tears of gratitude.
And then, as a final garnish, came the word of "Invincible," who at some point had apparently come to be counted among the gallery's resident "fleet combat experts."
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"Oof."
Granted, at one point some newbie's nonsense provoked him so badly that he fired off an absurdly long wall of a comment.
But the gist of it was clear: unless we developed ourselves considerably further where we stood, or else expanded by bringing "other star systems" under our banner, pushing past three Battleship-class hulls would screw us over royally.
Realizing that the current state of affairs was, quite literally, optimized for exactly where we were right now, I allowed myself a quiet, modest sense of satisfaction.
***
And so, with my doubts about the fleet resolved, I leaned in to try my hand at what was supposedly the main content — the so-called "Star System Tycoon" — and then...
That very instant.
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Consolidation of the Internal Opposition Factions of Milano!
Thanks to the swift responses of Elena Vermut and Lime Pedro Heisenberg, the Milano System had been stabilizing at a remarkable pace.
However, while social, economic, and military stability continued to climb, political stability remained, without exaggeration, a raging storm.
Led by Councilman Luigi Don Giacomo Forni, formerly of the old Milano Central Government, a sweeping consolidation has been launched with the aim of reducing the stake held by the Demonia Milano Branch — the power behind the current Milano government!
* A new faction, the Milano People's Party, is added to the Milano System power structure.
* If the Milano People's Party's system-wide approval exceeds 50%, the governing regime of the system will be forcibly converted from the current Heisenberg Regime to the Forni Regime!
* Upon regime conversion, your dominion over the Milano System will be lost.
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"Oh come on, why is this game inventing yet another absurd piece of nonsense!"
Is the universe determined never to grant me a peaceful round of Star System Tycoon?
Along with a notification that yet another bizarre, incomprehensible event had begun, I got to watch the exact scenario that veteran players had been asking "wait, why hasn't THIS happened to you yet?" finally unfold before my eyes.
Why, I wailed, does something like this have to rear its head right when everything seemed to be wrapping up nicely? Tears blurred my vision.
But my agonized howling didn't last long.
Shortly after taking stock of the situation and putting the question to Ilena and Heisenberg, I learned that this problem, too, would pose no particular threat to us as things stood...