Let's Just Settle This With WWE, Shall We?
Obvious as it sounds, we'd recently received a massive wave of support from the Demonia homeworld, which meant our military power had shot up dramatically.
On top of that, we'd hired mercenary companies and private security firms by the boatload, the frontier cities of Milano-V already belonged to us, and the planetary capital was nearly under our control as well.
By the veterans' own assessment, it was enough to make them mutter, "This puts you in the top tier of players."
So no matter what those grizzled old-timers said, deep down I'd been thinking, Come on, at this level, if I just try really, reeeeeeally hard and leverage-grind my way up, surely I could rub shoulders with a planetary system government too, right?
Reality, however, disagreed — for reasons I still don't understand, I found myself face-to-face with a planetary system government fleet that had come to collect me as a criminal.
"This is why a person should live their life with manners — you never know when someone's going to come crack your skull open."
"With all due respect, Consul, no one in their right mind would expect a Demonia branch barely two months past its founding to prevail against a planetary system government."
"Uuuuuu......"
A colossal warship, officially "one kilometer" but in truth visibly longer, had taken position in front of Milano-V's orbital elevator with more than ten cruisers arrayed around it in a perfect ring. Then half of the dozens of destroyers it had brought along peeled off to escort the capital ships, while the other half, together with the small craft, descended into the planet's atmosphere — after beaming me a stern warning to appear and surrender myself voluntarily.
So there I was, wondering why on earth they had to pick the exact moment I was finally going to relax to come make a fuss, feeling my complaints spill out of my mouth like a burst dam, grumbling the whole way as I headed for the spaceport where they were waiting.
Naturally, Ilena came along too, and under the space law that exists quite matter-of-factly even in this mess of a universe, she promptly invoked human rights to exercise a veto — and while she was at it, demanded to know what the problem was when everything we'd done had been perfectly legal, working overtime as a one-woman defense attorney to slam the brakes on the system government on my behalf......
Yet for all of Ilena's heroics, the officials from the system fleet met us in the VIP lounge inside the spaceport, having gone out of their way to avoid contact with anyone else.
"At present, Branch Director Benya Tomiri stands charged with conspiracy to commit terrorism — namely, the deliberate dispersal of the Red Scourge across this Milano System with intent to lay waste to the entire planetary system."
"......Huh?"
"In addition, she faces a truly extensive docket: assorted counts of sedition, unauthorized biological experimentation, abduction, human trafficking, and the manufacture and distribution of controlled substances."
"Haah?"
"What the hell is that supposed to be?!"
"This is absurd. Produce your evidence this instant."
Having been fed one jaw-dropping accusation after another, all three of us — me, Ilena listening beside me, and even Chairman Heisenberg — found ourselves united in a harmonious chorus of what kind of bullshit is that?
But even as we reacted, when Ilena moved to block them, declaring that hauling someone away without evidence was illegal, the officials held the exact same poker faces they'd worn from the moment we'd met them......
"Under the Pan-Cosmic Bio-Weapon Anti-Terrorism Act, we are authorized to arrest the suspect by force without a separate warrant."
"I'm sorry, isn't that some ancient law that only applied back when the Demonia Empire was unifying the galaxy?"
"It remains a law on the books all the same."
"Should you refuse, we will subdue you by force and take you in. Please bear that in mind."
"Hmm."
They were being so relentlessly heavy-handed that they now actually moved to slap a pair of handcuffs onto the slender wrists of yours truly — a tiny, adorable, flat-chested maiden — and as I encountered something I'd never experienced once in either of my lives, a tidal wave of sheer bewilderment flooded my skull.
But that only lasted a moment. Watching them, I noticed that even in the middle of this high-handed procedure, the faces of the officials who'd come to collect me stayed locked in that same poker face, practically radiating the fact that they were following nothing but orders.
Beyond that, even their tone of voice carried an unmistakable undercurrent of please, we're begging you, just come along quietly......
And finally, the users of my gallery — which I'd left streaming on a live relay precisely so it could help resolve this whole situation — had this to say.
Since they were all tossing out these completely out-of-left-field takes and reacting as if none of this were a problem at all, I could only wonder what on earth it all meant, spewing ten thousand parts bewilderment into the gallery.
In response to my reaction, the veterans — veterans to their very rotten-oil core — had this to say.
"Hmm."
Surprisingly, how should I put this...
It was exactly the kind of deal where the higher-ups go, "Today, I shall be the one visiting prison — next time, you return the favor, oho ho ho."
Which meant that, in a way, I'd just been handed a license for purely legitimate work-shirking. I gave a solemn nod.
"Fine. Go ahead and arrest me."
"I beg your pardon?"
"W-wait just a moment, Consul Benya?!"
"Doctor, are you certain about this?!"
"Of course I am. I'll be back before you know it. Ilena, Heisenberg — take good care of everything while I'm gone~"
Having thus declared my intention to leave the aftermath in their hands, I strapped the comically oversized handcuffs onto both wrists and let myself be loaded up and carried off by the planetary system government's dignitaries.