EP.18 Vorpal Rabbit -4
EP.18 Vorpal Rabbit -4
'I'm fucked, I'm fucked, I'm fucked, I'm fucked, I'm fucked, I'm fucked, I'm fucked...!'
The situation at hand permitted no other thought to enter my head.
While Alice was licking my shoes as an act of submission, the completely unexpected Miho had shown up.
If Miho had witnessed the sight of me getting my shoes licked by a woman she didn't know, what would happen next?
'...Oh, fuck!'
Only Dead Ends came to mind.
If I thought positively: death by snu-snu. If I thought negatively: dismemberment.
No matter what I imagined, it was all just death.
"Husband~?"
"M-Miho? What brings you here? Did I miss our agreed return time or something...?"
"No, I simply grew worried and came out early to pick up my husband."
"I-is that so?"
"Yes...!"
She was smiling, but Miho's expression didn't feel like a real smile.
Just looking at her turned my stomach over. My insides twisted themselves into knots, my breath grew thick and clogged, and a chill crawled across my whole body.
If I had one wish right now, it was that she'd please make it painless.
"Anyway, husband? What exactly are you doing here right now?"
"W-well, that is! How should I put it, this is all a misunderstanding...! Anyway, it's absolutely not what you're thinking!!"
"Husband."
"Y-yes!!"
I should've just said I was sorry and begged for forgiveness. Now I just looked like a guy trotting out a pathetic excuse.
Sure enough, Miho's expression grew increasingly frosty. It felt colder than ice itself.
"A misunderstanding, you say. Which misunderstanding might that be?"
"That is...!"
There was only one way out now. To ask Alice directly to clear up the misunderstanding, I looked down at my feet.
But... the rabbit who should have been there had already vanished without a trace a long time ago.
'Alice!!'
A scream erupted deep within my heart, brought on by the rabbit who had disappeared and fled at the most critical moment.
This whole situation only happened because of someone...!! If the person responsible runs away, what am I supposed to do?!
I was going crazy. I was truly about to lose it. Though it was a dark night, I could see the world being painted yellow with fear.
"Husband."
"Yeah..."
"Let's go back home."
"Y-yeah...?"
"Do you somehow have more business left out here?"
"N-no."
"Then let's go back for now. Tia's nodding off too."
"Okay... y-yeah."
Had she not seen?
The spot where Miho appeared was behind me. Meanwhile, Alice's position had been in front of my shoes. It was a spot where she would've been plenty hard to see.
Also, if Alice had used her ability and fled the very second she heard Miho's voice, the odds were high that Miho had never seen her.
The puzzle began to piece together, bit by bit, and peace crept back into my heart.
What a relief. The world was still overflowing with hope!
"Right. Husband?"
"Yeah?"
"About that rabbit bitch who was here a moment ago—I'll ask you for a thorough explanation once we get back home!"
"Ha, haha...!"
Miho's nine tails had been writhing in flawless unison.
That kind of tail movement was generally proof that she was extremely displeased.
And with that, a single, utterly undeniable future had been created for me.
Tonight, I would die.
***
After finishing the mission and returning home.
Right now, with Tia laid down fast asleep in bed, Miho and I sat facing each other across the dining table.
There was Miho, wearing a blood-chilling smile as she gazed at me, and there was my body, beginning to tremble of its own accord under her stare.
It felt as if this silent time would stretch on forever unless I spoke up first.
My body stung all over, as if I were sitting on a cushion of thorns. I couldn't raise my head.
Should I wring out my juices and beg for forgiveness? Or should I slam my head to the floor and apologize from the heart?
I didn't have a clue what to do. The fear made my head feel blank, like a sheet of drawing paper.
Whether it was fortunate or not, in this situation, Miho was the one to open her mouth first and shatter the silence.
"Husband."
"Yeah?"
"If it's awkward for you to talk about it, you don't have to say anything at all."
"Huh...?"
"Your body got dirty from the mission, so go wash up first."
"Y-you're not going to interrogate me?"
"At first I meant to, but that rabbit bitch wasn't being affectionate with you; she was simply licking your shoes. Burn the old ones and just wear new shoes starting tomorrow."
Miho's smile, which had felt colder than a sheet of ice, began to look like that of a merciful saint.
Proof that she would truly let me off. My rigid facial muscles slowly began to loosen.
"It's not like you got another Companion Animal. That's why I'm letting it slide."
"Ah...!"
At Miho's gesture, tapping the back of my right hand as she spoke, I found myself looking at my own hand.
The marks carved into the back of my hand hadn't been updated since Kor. There was still no particular change.
Had she even been observing the parts of my body that I myself had failed to notice...?
Miho's obsession with me was as relentless and skin-crawling as ever.
'Anyway, I'll just have to be satisfied with having miraculously survived this time.'
After unclenching my heart, which had been tense and utterly terrified, and taking a deep breath, I put on a smile for her as well.
Because if I kept wearing an anxious look, she might think I had something else to feel guilty about.
"Then I'll go wash up?"
"Yes~! Ah! And husband."
The second I turned my back to head for the shower, Miho's voice called out to me, making me stop and look back at her.
And there, the saint's smile was gone. All that remained was the grin of a lewd fox...
"Once you're done washing, please be in the bedroom♡"
"Agh...!"
The corners of my lips, which had been curving upward in relief, bent the other way as well.
Yeah, that was more like it.
It was a moment of realization, and of despondency, as I came to see that tonight really wouldn't pass peacefully after all.
***
After finishing my shower, I was in the bedroom, meekly waiting on standby.
Miho said she'd wash up too and told me to wait quietly, so I was waiting with great difficulty for the coming draining ceremony today.
Like a cow or a pig dragged to the slaughterhouse to wait.
'How late is she going to go until tonight, I wonder...'
Five or six in the morning? Or maybe a nonstop run until seven.
Worrying about it was pointless either way. Whatever the case, all I had to do was keep my wits together so I didn't die.
"Why so serious?"
"Huh? Alice?!"
The hoodie-clad woman was standing next to my bed as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
But this time, she hadn't covered her face. It was Alice, with her twitching rabbit ears, ruby-red eyes, and snow-white skin.
"H-how in the world are you here?!"
"I tailed you. Staying outside the fox's detection range."
"I see. No, before that—why did you run away on your own back there?"
"Because I don't like foxes. Biologically."
"...That's the reason?"
To a rabbit, an herbivore, a fox was a natural enemy.
It was a bit strange that she, a Divine Beast, would be scared of a fox.
But it seemed that upon realizing the fox at my house was also a Divine Beast like her, she'd grown averse.
And so, without a word, she'd fled.
'But, by that logic, Tia is a dragon, the apex predator—shouldn't she be afraid of her...? Or is it okay because Tia is young?'
I felt like I was starting to understand the world of Divine Beasts, but I still didn't really get it.
"So, what's your purpose for coming here, even tailing me?"
"We still haven't exchanged contact info. That's essential if I'm going to get the game you promised."
"Now that you mention it, we will need contact info to send you a reservation number or a product code or whatever."
I held out my hand to Alice, asking for her phone, and she promptly passed it over without me having to say a word.
From the phone case to the wallpaper, its customization practically screamed "no-life gamer."
Should I feel proud of the games industry for captivating even a Divine Beast, or was this Divine Beast just peculiar...?
"Anyway, how did you get a phone plan? You shouldn't have an identity, right?"
"I used what they call underworld channels."
"Those are a thing...?"
"Yes. It helps you live even without a legal identity. Though the fees are expensive..."
"So that's why you make money doing contract work."
"Yes. I need more money than others."
For transactions requiring an identity, you had to pay a considerable amount of money.
In other words, what an ordinary person could buy cheaply, Alice had to buy at two or three times the base price.
It felt unjust, but since she had no identity, she had no one to complain to about her hardship.
Yet despite all that, a rabbit living in the human world for the sake of games.
She had visited the club today, just like any other day, to earn money.
"Actually, you know what? I have one good idea."
"Good idea?"
"Yeah. I do earn a decent bit of money myself, but I'm not great at spending it. So, if you're okay with it, how about I become your exclusive employer?"
"Exclusive employer..."
Alice covered her mouth with her palm and fell deep in thought.
I couldn't quite say "become my Companion Animal," but I thought being an exclusive employer was a pretty good offer.
With that level of relationship, Miho would accept it too, and she'd also understand the shoe-licking from earlier.
In other words, it killed two birds with one stone: I'd gain Alice's cheat-like ability, and clear up Miho's misunderstanding at the same time.
So, for my part, I wanted to welcome Alice as an employee no matter what, but her deliberation was dragging on quite a while.
Probably, to persuade her completely, I needed to present her with an unconventional offer.
"It's a waste getting a huge cut taken out of your fees by middlemen, right? Anything you need, I'll buy it for you with no fees."
"Mmm..."
"What's more, I can preorder limited editions of new games for you anytime, like just now. There's a very competent person near me who handles that field. She helped with this preorder too."
"I'll be employed...! No, please, please hire me!!"
Alice immediately jumped on the offer even though I hadn't even told her the cost yet.
Yeah, that was the rabbit who couldn't help herself when it came to games.
As I thought, for her, games were a negotiation card with rock-solid effectiveness.
"Then I'll be in your care from now on. Alice!"
"Okay, Boss."
Boss... not a bad title.
The instant I thought that and was about to shake hands with Alice.
From outside the room, Miho's singing voice began to drift in.
"Off to the bedroom to receive his seed~♪ Off to the bed to receive his seed~♪ Fill my womb up full with it, yes I will~♡ La la la la la~!!"
What the hell kind of song was that?
No, actually, from the melody, I could tell what song it was.
But who goes and twists a nursery rhyme for little kids into something that obscene?!
"U-um, Alice! I'm sorry, but could you hide under the bed for a moment?"
"Huh...?"
"I'm really sorry!!"
Telling Miho that I'd hired the rabbit was fine, but the timing was terrible.
If Miho saw Alice in the bedroom where she'd ordered me to wait, it was obvious how she'd react.
'Dangerous, this is dangerous...!'
So, although it was a truly awful thing to do to a rabbit, I forced Alice's body under the bed and hid her.
The instant the rabbit disappeared under the bed, the bedroom door flew open with a bang.
"Husband~! You waited a long time, didn't you?"
"Y-you're here?"
Miho had walked in naked, with only a single towel wrapped around her.
Sadly, because of the fact that I'd barely managed to hide Alice, I was in no state to get excited even at the sight of her body.
"I'm sorry. I was late because I wanted to wash every nook and cranny for a nice, sticky night of lovemaking with my husband!"
"I-it's fine! That's totally understandable!"
"Ufufu...♡ Well then, shall we skip the foreplay and get right to it today?"
The towel slithered off Miho's body and fell away, revealing her nakedness.
But my heart was still pounding anxiously, wondering if the rabbit's presence had been found out.
I couldn't even focus on Miho's beautiful nude form.
Yet even so, Miho approached me at her own pace and pressed herself as close to my body as physically possible.
And as I thought her gentle, coquettish actions were about to let me finally focus on her—
Miho tossed an abrupt remark my way.
"Anyway, husband, you really are so mischievous! To even prepare a present for me!"
"Huh? W-what, all of a sudden, what present...?"
"What else would it be~?"
Miho lifted her hand high...
"Naturally, I'm talking about that rabbit bitch under the bed!"
...and then brought it down heavily, showing off the brute force needed to punch a giant hole straight through the bed.
'Ah... I am completely and utterly fucked.'