When the Armbands Doubled
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It had become a place of lament for those pitiful thralls who had dreamed of freedom through desertion, only to be dragged right back in. Watching that little spectacle, I felt my head shake from side to side of its own accord.
But the one thing that truly made me feel sorrow in the middle of all this was something else entirely — the fact that the number of armbands had suddenly doubled.
[Various troll posts that appear and get deleted with every refresh.gif]
The armbands went up by 1.5x — more precisely, the user armbands excluding staff doubled — so now the people spamming shitposts by sheer volume are getting cleaned up twice as fast.
[Image of a toad screaming]
Fr tho
[Image of a toad with a flushed face]
Yeah, this is how it should be
This is what a gallery is, this is what armbands are for
Get to work, armbands
With the gallery's surveillance network more than twice as thick as before, any aggro who so much as showed a glimmer of intention was ruthlessly blocked and deleted on the spot. Of course, the only people who found that sad were the aggro merchants themselves.
Everyone else, as the gallery reactions made abundantly clear, was nothing but pure delight — yes, this is it! Watching the ultimate form of utilitarianism in action, where a minority was sacrificed so the majority could be happy, I nodded along and felt a deep sense of satisfaction.
The completion of a world where no one gets hurt.
Granted, that "no one" did not include the aggro merchants. But since aggro merchants could never become citizens of the gallery anyway, I was certain that at least most users would agree with me on this one.
It's not like "gore image eraser" is an event reward, you know?
The morning after I and the newly expanded roster of twenty armbands had enjoyed a thoroughly spirited and delightful troll massacre—
"Commander, did you sleep well?"
"Mm. Good morning to you too."
Maybe it was because the massacre had been so impeccably thorough. I had sunk into the deepest, most restful sleep imaginable, and when I woke I felt refreshed down to my bones.
[DETAILS]
A reward for the Commander who worked so hard throughout the event!
Commander Icarus has been confirmed as Individual Ranker 3rd Place, and the corresponding rewards will now be granted!
[RESULTS]
Dimensional Causality Anchor x50
Superhuman Rapid Enhancement Ticket x1
"Hmm."
"Oh my, they're handing them out faster than expected this time?"
"You're telling me."
Events that usually dragged their feet for a full week before coughing up rewards were, for some reason, delivering them this promptly. Jessica and I both found ourselves tilting our heads in mild confusion first thing in the morning…
Well, early is good for me.
Frankly, it wasn't as if this posed any real problem, so I decided to just accept it and claim the rewards with a light heart.
And as I did, Jessica twitched her rabbit ears and gave me a look of pure puzzlement.
"By the way, Commander — what exactly is that 'Rapid Enhancement Ticket'?"
"Ah, so you don't know."
Jessica's reaction, as always, generously filled my intellectual vanity. I nodded and explained cleanly.
"Nothing complicated. Use it on a newly acquired superhuman and it instantly raises them to level thirty."
"Ooooh… and something that amazing is just being handed out as a reward?!"
Except Jessica seemed to have misunderstood something in the middle of all this.
Is my ability to explain things that bad?
Feeling that minor worry surface, I decided to give her a proper follow-up answer.
"Of course, it only raises them to level thirty. Once you're past thirty, the thing becomes completely useless — that's the catch."
"Ah… so that's why the Commander's reaction was so much smoother and more laid-back than I expected."
"Mm, something like that."
Jessica was right. Any other user, the moment they received a reward like that, would have gone—
Ah! The admins want me to pull a superhuman and skip the tedious leveling at the same time! Why bother grinding at all!
—and accepted it with pure joy to spare. But—
"Honestly, for the sake of our mental health, we should just stop expecting anything good from gacha, don't you think?"
"That's true. Everyone knows the Commander's luck is terrible."
A truly painful truth. As Jessica said, folding one ear down, what meaning did this thing even have for someone like me?