Extreme Teabagging

A thought began to bloom, soft and insistent, at the back of my mind: was that Melon bastard actually less of an idiot than I'd given him credit for?

Blaming the other guy for being broken when you lost because you suck… why is it always the exact same script?

From the glory days of games once crowned national pastimes in my previous life, all the way through the thirty years since — the whining of trolls and freeloaders had never once changed its pattern. Not a single upgrade. Not one new verse.

And I clearly wasn't the only one thinking it.

The reaction to the garbage he'd sprayed across the board was, on the whole, not great.

And once people actually read what he'd written and realized he was the same anonymous poster who'd stolen resource zones from a veteran just a few days ago — the temperature dropped from cold to absolute zero.

Public opinion, already bad, cratered into something truly pitiful in a matter of seconds. And given the gallery's system made deleting posts impossible, Melon had essentially taken a massive dump dead center on the board — then silently ran for the hills.

Of course, even that didn't last long. Barely an hour after his tactical retreat:

He'd clearly tried to write the most pathetic, heart-wrenching "reflection letter" he could manage. To my eyes, though, it just looked spectacularly unpleasant — so I opened the community for the first time in a while.

As a finishing touch, I decided to hit him with the most extreme teabagging I could muster.

Naturally, once word of my teabagging got around:

Melon went full mast with rage and started dumping every curse in his vocabulary across the gallery. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Needless to say, that kind of response was busy annihilating community goodwill in real time — but our Melon, eyes already rolled clean back into his skull, had turned the entire gallery into his personal diary and was venting every emotion he had.

And maybe that was exactly the problem.

Thanks to Melon's aggro, a truly tragic development was unfolding before my eyes: he had become the designated ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠target of every unhinged patient wandering the gallery.

Haha. What a dumpster fire.

And as time went on, his mania only got worse. I closed the community to actually get some work done, then checked back about an hour later.