What the Hell Is This Drug, Commander?! (1)
"C'mon, c'mon — ain't y'all just tryin' to slip that dense otaku Icarus a little something?"
"If you don't know, shut up, you damn Kanf."
Having slipped free of its living-mount state, the D-grade space Kanf currently grafted onto the chimera for physical enhancement declared:
"A farewell party's gotta be a full-on wine-and-flesh free-for-all, right? So just play it natural — go full playboy on him."
"…Huh?"
"You saw how that dense otaku reacted last time — to the Lapin mercenary captain, to Pashtura. That tells you everything you need to know."
"So what exactly are you proposing?"
"Show up as bunny girls carrying drinks — or better yet, reverse bunny girls — and scramble the Commander's eyes."
"Oh?"
"Throw off the corset, put on reverse bunny girl outfits, and commit fully to the most shamelessly feminine scheme imaginable. That is the key to victory."
"Ooooh."
"Of course, if he reacts the second he takes a sip, that'll look weird, won't it? So build in a little delay — perfect."
The accent was a bit strange, sure.
But boiled down, the plan was: dress as reverse bunny girls, get the Commander all dazed and loose, then casually hand him a pre-spiked drink like a bartender.
Why its intelligence had gone up despite only receiving a "physical enhancement" remained a mystery.
Still, a solid plan had emerged, so Griyanaar decided to put the "twenty-four-hour climax-torture etiquette lessons" aimed at the space Kanf on hold for the time being.
About three days later.
What I had intended as a modest little farewell gathering had, somehow, ballooned into something resembling a full-blown festival with every last member of the old base personnel in attendance — and I was feeling distinctly conflicted about it.
The guests of honor, of course, felt rather differently. Shaggy Admiral Liran and Marianne both looked thoroughly delighted.
"Damn it, Commander Icarus — I like you!"
"Mm."
"Whee-hahahahaha!"
"I never expected Oppa to go this far for us. Honestly, it's given me a real boost."
"Mmm."
Pirate Admiral "Shaggy Liran" is deeply grateful that you threw such a lively, lavish farewell party for his people.
Marianne, likewise, is thoroughly pleased by the "rewards" you have shown her subordinates.
• Trust with the Pirate Union faction +10
• Affinity with Shaggy Liran+10
• Future hiring cost for mercenary companies under this pirate admiral reduced by 5%(stackable)
The rewards were oddly sweet for something so ambiguous, and all I could do was nod.
Honestly, though, the scene unfolding before me was nothing I had ever imagined.
"Pour it out! Drink it down!"
"My, my — our pirate boys are really something tonight, aren't they?"
"Bwuhahahahaha!"
Hmm.
I had no idea who was responsible, but what should have been a simple eat-and-drink farewell party had…
Bunny girls.
And not just any bunny girls — reverse bunny girls, covering only the absolute essentials, had burst onto the scene, commandeered one of the fortress's massive grand halls, and turned the whole place into a wine-and-flesh free-for-all.
to Be Called a Farewell Party
The farewell party for the Pirate Union fleet has reached the absolute height of revelry.
Every delicacy imaginable fills the tables, while reverse bunny girls — covering only the barest essentials — circulate with drinks in hand.
The wounded receive free treatment in the base infirmary for everything from minor injuries to hair loss.
The pirates of this fleet are raising their voices in praise of the one who gifted them this dreamlike night.
In particular, some of the younger pirates — who had been viewing this as a chance not for the usual marine-style "brotherhood membrane-opening," but for actually losing their virginity — are shedding tears of gratitude from both ends, swearing to repay your kindness someday.
• Trust of all personnel under Shaggy Liran's fleet +10
• Trust of certain individuals +50
From the VIP lounge above, I looked down on the wine-and-flesh free-for-all — no, wait.
The juicy-and-flesh free-for-all about to unfold below, and turned to Jessica, who, despite her rabbit ears, was conspicuously not dressed as a bunny girl.
"Jessica. I doubt it, but… was this your idea?"
"Of course not. If it had been, I'd already be down there in a reverse bunny girl outfit with a tail plug attached."
With a what attached?
I flinched at that last bit, but Jessica denied it so casually while casually crossing every line of propriety that I found myself nodding along.
All that confirmed, though, was that Jessica hadn't orchestrated this. The fundamental question — so who the hell did? — still left me tilting my head.
Hoping to resolve that mystery, I put the question to her.
"Then whose idea was it?"
"Well… the people standing right behind you, Commander."
At Jessica's words, I slowly turned my head —
"Fufufufu~ So, Commander? Behold my perfect plan!"
"…"
"I did not endorse this, Commander."
"Mm."
— and found Griyanaar front and center in a reverse bunny girl outfit, hands planted on her hips in pure triumph, with Pashtura, Oxianor, and Smeragi arrayed behind her.
Each of them covering their essentials in a slightly different fashion, no less.
Not that the differences were dramatic. Pashtura and Griyanaar had simply stuck on heart-shaped pasties and called it a day.
Smeragi, true to form, had gone with pasties shaped like little cats.
And Oxianor…
"Is something the matter, Commander?"
"No. Nothing at all."
…was covering herself with tentacle strands from a "living formal suit" she'd modified into reverse-bunny form, which made her look like walking adult content.
A brief wave of confusion hit me, but I managed to grab hold of my sanity —
Mm. Perfect balance, perfectly preserved.
Busty and slender, a flawless two-to-two ratio. I found myself nodding inwardly at the composition.
The problem was that, being reverse bunny girls, all four of them were wearing rabbit-ear headbands and rabbit tails…
"Ufu~fu♡ How do we look, Commander? Our brand-new look♡"
"They said the Commander would like it, so I put it on, nya. Feels real weird 'cause it's so different from usual, though, nya."
"This is a new outfit I whipped up. Don't let the look fool you — it's tougher than most combat suits, and you can even operate in space in it!"
"…Mm."
The mad scientist's compulsive over-engineering of functionality was one thing.
But a moment ago, when Pashtura and Smeragi had spun around to show off, I'd noticed their rabbit "tails" sat just a little lower than any bunny girl outfit I knew.
Given the nature of reverse bunny gear, a deeply suspicious question about exactly how those were attached was now clawing at my mind.
Smeragi already had a separate tail — cat version — and Oxianor could simply grow a new one, so they were fine. But how Pashtura and Griyanaar had affixed those slightly-too-low "tails" remained a genuine mystery.
I stopped my thoughts right there, though.
Looking at this perfectly balanced bouncy reverse-bunny superhuman party — or more precisely, at Griyanaar's swaggering confidence — I finally understood how a simple farewell gathering had turned into a juicy-and-flesh free-for-all, and nodded.
"Excellent. A hundred points."
"Of course I deserve at least that much! Do you have any idea how hard it was to throw these together on short notice?!"
She usually caused nothing but disasters, and yet today she'd somehow delivered an actual benefit.
Ah. New skins are irresistible.
And maybe because I was smiling at the sight without quite realizing it —
"Um… could I get one of those too?"
"Hmm? Oh, of course you can. But there's one condition."
"What's that?"
"First we take your measurements… and then…"
—whisper whisper—