Leave It to Us (3)

At Belial and Ignis's words, Griyanaar — who had been holding her silence after a single snort of laughter — was the first to raise her hand.

"Isn't it the Commander's capacity for acceptance that comes first? The way he'll put up with whatever I do?"

"His capacity for acceptance, you mean?"

"Yep!"

Griyanaar gave her soft, squishy pet tentacle a fond stroke as she spoke. Then she hoisted the tentacle up like a lightsaber, a mischievous smile playing across her face.

"Including little ones like this — the Commander almost never stops me from making whatever I want, does he?"

"…Ah."

"Compared to those uptight snobs from the Xenobia Empire, he's the absolute best."

"The Commander's tolerance really is something else. He even managed to win over the Pirate Empress herself, didn't he?"

That came from Pashtura, whose loyalty and affection for Commander Icarus had been thoroughly drilled into her through Marianne's "early education." Griyanaar nodded along, looking thoroughly satisfied.

Of course, none of them deliberately mentioned that the same process had left the Pirate Empress one step short of becoming Icarus's fanatical yandere.

"On the flip side, his luck is pretty terrible."

"That it is."

"Jessica mentioned it in passing last time — she said that compared to other commanders, his misfortune is on a truly serious level."

They casually evaluated Icarus's "luck," smoothly steering the conversation in a new direction.

"But if you really think about it, the Commander isn't actually unlucky at all, is he?"

"What are you talking about, Griyanaar?"

"Think about it. He took all those people in the cryo-pods, plus the countless causal distortions he managed to catch — and used all of that to bring us back together in this place."

"…"

"I'd say that puts him near the top, honestly. Some people don't even have a single SSS-grade."

"That's… true, hmm."

And just like that, she casually threw up a shield for Icarus's "luck" before sliding right into the next topic. Before they knew it, the girls were deep in a natural round of girl talk, thoroughly enjoying an unexpected little break.

Roughly an hour and a half after our superhumans had gone in, I was hammering the complete button on the quest resolution list with the help of Marianne's "automatic (not really) quest collection system" when—

"Commander, the conference room door is opening."

"Oh, looks like they're finally done."

The moment I heard that the tightly shut door was opening and my pretty superhumans — who'd been holed up inside — were about to show themselves, I figured that whatever plan they brought out, and however fast they brought it, I didn't particularly care. Still, given that these were characters whose intelligence was supposedly sky-high in the lore, the fact that they'd taken this long suggested the disagreements must have been pretty fierce.

Wearing a faintly amused expression, I waited in the command seat as Belial approached as their representative.

"Oh?"

"Commander, would you care to hear the plan we've drawn up?"

Naturally, the quest I'd received was of the "shut up and listen to whatever they bring you" variety. Figuring that even these deranged developers wouldn't force some completely insane, half-baked plan on me, I nodded at Belial's confident demeanor.

And then the content that spilled from Belial's mouth — namely, that we should just go ahead and tell the Space Kaiju exactly what the current situation was — made me think:

Ah. So this is the timing where I'm supposed to tell the Space Kaiju.

Having accepted the fact that three years of not playing the game and living in the real world had completely wiped the finer details from my memory, I—

I confirmed the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠quest completion window that had just popped up in front of my eyes, tapped it, and resolved then and there that going forward, I shouldn't trust my own memory on these kinds of microscopic, granular details — I should just ask the people around me.

And the next morning.

Strike while the iron is hot, as they say. The moment I woke up, I made a beeline for the biology lab, intending to meet with Oxianor.

"What on earth is the matter that has you raising such a ruckus this early in the morning, Commander Icarus?"

Of course, with the suspicion debuff stacked so heavily on me, Oxianor's first response was a vaguely grumbling one. But that only lasted a moment.

"I've come to place a restriction you cannot refuse, Oxianor."

"Hmm?"

I said it flatly and laid out our current situation without embellishment — namely, that the Pirate Empress Marianne was my subordinate, and that as a result, the entire Pirate Coalition was effectively under my command. Absolute truth, delivered straight.

"Have you, by any chance, developed some abnormality of the mind from resolving our side's commissions in bulk of late?"

"…"

"Though we are not particularly well-versed in the 'fatigue' of ordinary intelligent beings, your present appearance does not look well at all."

From our eye-gentleman Oxianor came genuine, heartfelt concern — along with a look that clearly said, Has this bastard gone mad from overwork?

Ah.

Faced with someone about to treat me like a child with mental issues, I urgently contacted Jessica, who was still loafing around somewhere on the base, and had her bring Marianne over so we could put on a performance of how close we were.

There was just one thing I hadn't accounted for…

"Hmph. So you're saying you dared to doubt the deep affection between me and Oppa?"

"The Pirate Empress?! How in the world are you inside our faction's commander's base?!"

"How insolent. If you're going to say something like that to my face, you should at least bring one of your precious 'Hyper-Evolved Forms' along—"

"Good heavens! I see it now! Icarus — you were invaded by the Pirate Empress and have come to urgently request reinforcements!!"

"What."

"You treacherous Pirate Empress! Even should you strike me down here and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠now, having attacked us preemptively… our Queen shall ensure you pay the price!"

"Heh. Heh."

Contrary to our expectation that bringing Marianne would solve everything, Oxianor took one look at her, freaked out, and concluded that we had been invaded by the Pirate Empress. Then she tried to call for reinforcements from the Space Kaiju main force.

Jessica and I had to scramble, insisting that no, that wasn't it at all, doing everything we could to stop Oxianor's misunderstanding from snowballing.

Of course, no matter how much eeeeeeffort we put in, our opponent was a Space Kaiju with over-technology in the field of bioengineering. She didn't need any separate device to request support the way a person would — she could just report straight to the Kaiju Queen through the neural network. All we could do was fretting and frantically try to talk her down.

The problem was that the debuffs currently stuck on me were having a devastating effect on my actual "credibility."

"Worry not, Icarus. I shall present a full account of this crisis to Her Majesty."

"Aaaagh, no!"

She wasn't even listening to me anymore. I was sinking into the agony of wondering how on earth I was supposed to handle this, when—

"…Stop making a useless racket, you eyeball monster."

"Pardon?"

"Even my patience for watching you deny the relationship between me and Oppa has its limits."

Marianne, who had been watching the situation unfold, looked up at Oxianor's eyeball — several times larger than herself — and said that. Then she pointed at me with a resolute air.

"Watch carefully. Just how deep and beautiful the bond between me and Oppa really is!"

"What ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠do you mean by…?"

And right after that utterly resolute declaration, Marianne walked over to me, wrapped one of my arms in her entire body, and began caressing me with fingers that — the product of all her hard work — were thin but covered in calluses, putting on a full display of coquetry. Then she looked up at me with sparkling eyes and boldly declared:

"Oppa, let's do that again today… *nuzzle*"