Improving Your Constitution Is Supposed to Hurt
Improving Your Constitution Is Supposed to Hurt
"Wait. So what you're saying is......"
Pressing my temples, I let out a deep sigh.
Right now, placed in front of my eyes is a leather bag crammed haphazardly with bundles of parchment.
I was prepared to make allowances for this being the Middle Ages, but isn't this going too far?
"Are you telling me these scraps of paper in this leather bag, reeking of musty mutton...... are this year's estate tax settlement report?"
"......That is correct, Archon-jeonha."
The administrator, pale and trembling uncontrollably.
I picked up a sheet of parchment with my fingertips.
The ink was smudged, the numbers were arbitrary, and more than half of the contents were filled with bullshit about the great empire or whatever.
"My point is, is this really supposed to be a settlement report? It being dirty is one thing, but this is the first time in my life I've seen a document with more modifiers than actual numbers. Is this a tax settlement report, or a poetry collection to be submitted to the Imperial Ball?"
"Th-the former Archon-nim always received reports in this manner, so......"
"Is that so? Good thing I killed that guy. I had no intention of keeping him around anyway, but killing him was truly a great decision."
I threw the bundle of parchment along with the leather bag onto the floor. Ignoring the administrator who flinched violently, I held out a form I had prepared in advance.
"Get out right now and organize all the numbers according to the table shown here. On the horizontal axis, list the tax type, tax amount, and payment status. On the vertical axis, put the household number and name. Make it fit clean and tight."
"What...... is this? There is no precedent for such a method, so I do not know how to proceed......"
"Administrator."
Cutting him off cold, I popped a piece of chocolate that Alice had packed for me into my mouth.
The sweetness spreading across the tip of my tongue slightly eased my frayed nerves.
"I'm not asking you to fetch me 'Excel', am I? Just draw lines, align the numbers, and fill in only the details specified in the table. Is that so difficult?"
"N-no, sir! I will handle it immediately!"
The administrator frantically scooped up the bag from the floor and fled the office as if running for his life.
Leaning back deep into my chair, I let out a breath.
"How on earth did the administration even function with this kind of rule-of-thumb nonsense?"
There was no need to overthink the reason.
Because the sheer size of our Lugunica was so massive.
Even if a hole popped up somewhere, they could just cover it all up with the power of money.
A bad example of throwing money at problems until they go away. This is why competent people need to be in charge of these things, otherwise catastrophic messes like this happen.
"Uoooh!"
Before I could even finish sighing, my other ear picked up a noise.
It wasn't the office. Dirt dust, clanking metal, the stomping boots of hundreds of soldiers.
I shifted my vision.
"Halt. Everyone, freeze."
At my low voice, the hundreds of knights filling the training grounds stopped in their tracks all at once.
Stepping down from the dais, I approached a knight clad in quite flashy armor, panting heavily.
I tapped the large, sharp pauldrons on his shoulders with my finger.
"Vice Commander. What are all these flashy tin cans? Don't tell me you intend to go onto the battlefield wearing something like this?"
"That is correct! This is precisely the honorable appearance of a knight symbolizing the Imperial Knights!"
The Vice Commander puffed out his chest with pride.
Does this guy think I asked him this so I could compliment him?
"Within the bounds of my common sense, marching onto a battlefield wearing shit like this isn't a tactic. It's a suicide squad advertising, 'We're stupid, so please find us first.'"
"Yes, sir! ......Pardon me?"
"Take off that rhinoceros head on your shoulder first. A single pauldron must weigh four or five kilograms, which only drains stamina without offering any practicality."
"B-but Commander-nim, changing the design of the armor will affect our intimidation and dignity......"
"Intimidation and dignity can be sufficiently demonstrated through numbers alone. Starting today, dying stupidly in my army is illegal, so you better explain this to me instead."
Thrusting forward the budget proposal I had been reading until moments ago, I furrowed my brow.
"Forty percent of the military budget is allocated for banquet dress uniforms and the costs of awarding medals to show off at social gatherings. Are you kidding me?"
"W-with all due respect, Commander-nim. Knights are strictly nobles as well. To maintain dignity......"
"Does that grand dignity of yours block incoming blades on the battlefield? Reclaim 80% of that budget and redirect it to expanding rear supply lines and knight support funds. Even in high society, having all four limbs intact will sell far better than a medal."
Even giving them a hundred concessions and letting medals slide, I couldn't understand why the state should sponsor their formal dress uniforms.
Next, the moment I grabbed a sword to inspect the condition of the weapons, the verdict crumpled in my hand.
......I thought practicing two or three times would be enough, but I just can't get used to this.
Smoothing out the crumpled paper, I stuffed a handful of chocolates into my mouth.
"Hey, aide. About this document you brought me."
"Y-yes! Your Excellency the Chief Justice. Is there a problem......"
I tapped a passage in the document in front of the stiffly tense aide.
"'Moved by the young lady's tearful plea and noble character, the sentence is reduced.' Explain this."
"Th-that is because the young lady's marriage to the Marquis family has already been decided......"
"Is a woman engaged to be married some kind of sacred sanctuary? I don't recall allowing such a law."
"......No, sir."
"Then why is the grounds for the ruling based on that immature young lady's emotional state instead of the defendant's crime?"
She's a bitch who fooled around with a knight out of her own free will. But not only did she poison him to keep him quiet, she's requesting release on bail?
Do these bastards view the law as toilet paper?
"Rewrite it and bring it back. I'll give you one hour."
"However, Your Majesty! Ah, no, Your Excellency the Chief Justice! The backlash from both families could be severe."
"Setting aside the Count's family, the Marquis's family will probably thank me. I saved them from taking a woman like this as the mistress of their house."
Riiiiip— I tore up the verdict and the petition.
"Whether they are Counts or Swans, if they raise a complaint, tell them to educate their child properly. Or tell them to come see me. I'll wipe them all out on charges of contempt of court."
"Hiek!? Y-yes, sir! Understood!"
The aide retreated in a panic.
Slam! As the door closed, the room fell dead silent.
Only now did I have enough room to breathe to stretch, so after doing just that, I resumed my work.
Scratch, scratch—the sound of pens moving echoed side by side in triplicate in my ears.
Whether it's the Ministry of Justice, the Military, or the Executive Branch.
Structural reform is naturally something that accompanies pain.
Since I was the initiator, I had expected that I would be the busiest.
'This much is nothing.'
The decisive difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful one lies in whether they initiate things and handle them, or don't even try.
Naturally, I am the former.
It's busier than I thought, but it's not like I have to live like this forever.
So this much is—
Trickle—
"Huh?"
Just then, something lukewarm trickled down from my nose.
Wiping it with the back of my hand, red smeared across it.
......A nosebleed?
Simultaneously, the same phenomenon occurred at the nose of the Archon resting in the lounge, and at the nose of the Commander inspecting defense positions atop the ramparts.
"Ha! So physical fatigue isn't shared across bodies, but mental fatigue is?"
Because the Four Gods Shadow multiplies the body, not the brain.
I think it's not bad.
It's already been a month since I started living like this. And after a whole month, the only symptom to manifest is a mere nosebleed.
If I spend just one more month like this, I can officially start searching for a new face to take my place.
Steel originally gets harder the more it is hammered. Correcting my slightly reeling vision, I resumed my battle against the mountain of accumulated paperwork.
The fortunate thing, at least, is that there are no organizations raising a rebellion or refusing to follow orders.
After all, I am the person called the 'Blood Emperor' who swallowed up political power through purges.
No matter how much of a mashup between the Middle Ages and the Victorian era this romance fantasy world is, people still know the value of their own lives.
If not, this would have dragged on for several more months......
Honestly, I don't even want to imagine it.
"Hyaa~...... I'm tired to death......"
Just then, female employees who finished working overtime walked out.
"Overtime yesterday, overtime today, scheduled for overtime tomorrow...... Ever since the new Archon-nim arrived, all we do is work overtime."
"Tell me about it~ If he's gonna work us like this, he should at least raise our salary. All my personal time is gone."
"St-still, don't you think the work itself has become much easier to understand? Because the standards are clear, getting scolded happens less, and it seems obvious what needs to be done......"
"Bullshit! If he was gonna reform things, he should've made it so we could understand it instantly with a one-line summary. What's up with that table anyway? There's way too much to fill out."
"......Does it even make sense to ask for work to be explained in a one-line summary?"
"I don't care! Lies! This isn't my fault, it's the fault of the new Archon-nim and the world! Just wait and see, if he ever shows up in front of me, I won't let him off easy!"
I happened to be resting in that very Archon-nim's garden—should I stand up for her?
Besides that, the female employees walked past the garden, giggling and asking what to eat for dinner tonight.
When it comes to whether the newly reformed system is liked or disliked, most fall under disliked.
As they go through the adaptation period, more people are gradually leaning toward liking it, but for now, most share that sentiment.
It doesn't really matter.
It's not like I'm doing this to get praised, and certainly not to get recognized.
My goal is only one: a peaceful Emperor's life where money and stability are guaranteed just by breathing.
I stand up from my seat and stretch.
"Well then, shall I clock out as well......"
It's been three days. The first time all my clones can clock out without anyone having to pull an all-nighter.
I completely relax my body.
One of the greatest advantages of the Four Gods Shadow is that a one-second clock-out is possible by dispelling the clones.
Should I call this a kind of isekai perk too?
As I slowly open my eyes again, my vision shifts and comes into focus.
My eyes met a pretty face that had approached right up to my nose.
......Huh?
"Alice?"
When I called her name, she blinked her eyes from point-blank range and greeted me.
"Welcome back, Master. You worked very hard today as well."
"......Not bad. Being able to view a piece of artwork directly as soon as I open my eyes."
"Did you like it? Then I shall greet you like this from now on."
"If you do that, it loses its rarity. Let's make it about once a week, and could you move out of the way? I can't get up."
Why were you doing this in the first place?
As if she was about to kiss me. Her long hair and breath touched me, making it feel a little ticklish.
"......Could you not lie down for a little longer? Preferably with your eyes closed as well."
"Why?"
"I have only managed to do it six times so far."
......Do what?
"Please do not ask. I, too, am a woman. There are moments that are difficult to endure."
"Okay. Generously, I'll allow that. But this isn't the first time, is it?"
"Must you really get up?"
"Are you planning to make me say the same thing three times?"
"......My apologies."
She slowly sat up.
Feeling a sense of regret once her warmth receded made me feel pathetic about myself.
......But what's this scent from earlier?
A sweet smell hovers at the tip of my nose.
My body relaxed comfortably, so much so that if worse came to worst, falling asleep like this felt possible.
Right after, her voice came from a slightly further position.
"I have moved out of the way."
Reflected before my eyes was an orange ceiling cast in candlelight. And two massive mounds covering half of that ceiling......
I almost burst out loud.
'Woah, breasts.'
And wrapped in a very, very thin fabric called a negligee, no less.