I Just Wanted to Be the Emperor's Incompetent Younger Sibling
I Just Wanted to Be the Emperor's Incompetent Younger Sibling
'The Emperor Only Listens to Me.'
It was probably something roughly like that title.
The grand Emperor obsessing over the grand female lead, blah blah blah. Then the two of them hit it off—you know, the usual common stuff.
And I was the very first reader of 'The Emperor Only Listens to Me', as well as a complete reader who stayed until the final chapter.
It's not like I particularly liked romance fantasy.
I just read it to the end because my noona wrote it.
Just to tease her.
"Squandering the national treasury just to buy the female lead's favor? He's an all-time idiot who went all-in on a toxic asset with a zero percent return rate, isn't he?"
"Fuck off. Stop picking fights with me."
"Even when demonic beasts invaded the border, seriously. Redirecting the knight order to be the female lead's escort? Is this guy an emperor or a spy for the enemy nation? Those guys definitely popped champagne that night."
"......I told you to stop."
"A verdict changes over a single tear from the female lead? Talk about cost-effectiveness. Even the Dark Ages were probably more systematic than this."
"Ah, I told you to stop!!!"
"Ah, 'I told you to thtop~'"
Fuck, I shouldn't have done that......
If I hadn't, I wouldn't have ended up in a bullshit world like this.
"How dare a mere viscount spout nonsense to me, a count! Are you not afraid of a duel!"
"Our Parnen Viscount Family does not overlook disrespect! If you desire, we shall spill as much blood as you wish!"
The yelling voices of the nobles screaming in the garden pierced through the window and hit my ears.
The viscount throws down a glove, the count accepts it, and the imperial guards who rushed in en masse subdue the commotion.
Looking down at the scene, I clicked my tongue.
"A duel commotion right in the imperial palace, of all places. What a joke of a country."
The great empire, Lugunica.
The entire continent watched its step around it, blessed with abundant underground resources, where even disaster-grade monsters were wiped out with a casual, "Oh, raw materials are here." It was the indisputable strongest nation.
If compared to Earth, it was like the United States possessing Middle Eastern oil reserves on top of everything else.
However, in reality, it was a clusterfuck of a country where the so-called noble gentlemen couldn't even maintain a shred of dignity.
After all, the stupid emperor fell for a count's daughter who ran a clothing business, spending all day, every day running around playing.
When the emperor's absence from the imperial palace was practically a passive trait, why would the subordinates bother keeping their dignity?
It has been two years since I arrived here, but it's still a scene I can't get used to.
"Is the fight over already?"
As it grew quiet outside, the woman in the room reacted.
"The knight order just came, subdued them, and wrapped it up. No matter how crazy they are, they won't actually draw their swords."
"What a pity. There's nothing more entertaining than watching a fight."
"Not really. Watching a maid lie on her master's sofa, eating baked potatoes while reading a romance novel, is far more entertaining."
"I am delighted to be eye candy for Master-nim."
As if she had heard good news, her hand slowly slid down.
"Shall I lift my skirt as well? I was wondering if what I wore today was to your taste."
"Don't lift it! Anyone can hear that was sarcasm telling you to do some work. Were you so dumb that you couldn't even distinguish that much?"
"I believed it to be extremely reasonable to take literally, though."
"From where and in what way?"
She stared into my eyes and poured out her words.
"Master-nim is a healthy adult male who turned 19 years old this year. And I, Alice Margatroid, your exclusive maid, am. For. Real. Freaking. Gorgeous. Wouldn't feeling lust be completely normal?"
Wow...... With her blinking expressionlessly, I can't tell whether she's being serious or just playing sly.
Platinum blonde hair that reflected light and sky-blue eyes.
Her skin went beyond fair to transparent, and her body was sensuous to the point it was hard to believe she hadn't held her coming-of-age ceremony yet.
It was only natural that countless nobles tried to snatch her away.
Still......
"Crunch!"
The sight of her carelessly brushing the potato crumbs that showered down onto the floor made her look like nothing more than a pretty girl cosplaying as a maid.
How on earth did she turn out like this?
At first, she was a girl glaring with fiery rage, determined to kill me.
After all, I was the trashy emperor's younger brother and an early-stage villain slated for an early exit.
To her, I was Dante De Lawrence, someone utterly disgusting.
The action I took immediately upon realizing my transmigration was simple and clear.
"Congratulations. The threat forcing you to become the maid of a hopeless second son—that's off the table. Bye-bye~"
"......!?"
To separate from Alice, who was destined to become the female lead's maid in the future.
Otherwise, I'd get stabbed to death by the reformed male lead, Cain De Lawrence.
Fortunately, it was before that bastard Dante had committed anything crazy, so I was able to neatly cut off the death flag.
There is no way I'll die in this parallel world.
"This novel is surprisingly entertaining. Ah, Master-nim? Could you pick up Volume 2 over there for me?"
But seriously, how did it end up like this?
Despite always introducing herself as a perfect maid fit for Dante-nim, she has no qualms about bossing that very Dante-nim around with errands.
I don't really mind, but it'd be troublesome if she acted like this in front of the female lead she's supposed to serve someday.
"Alice? I told you that you could make yourself comfortable around me, but don't you think you're being a little too comfortable?"
"Is that so? I believe I am handling my duties flawlessly as Dante-nim's perfect maid, though."
"I have to ask the exact same question twice in one day. From where and in what way?"
"There are three criteria for evaluating a maid. The first is housework. From cooking to cleaning, assistance, and paperwork, I pride myself on operating at a higher level than anyone else."
Well, I'll give her that much.
She's only like this right now; her cooking is delicious, her cleaning is top-notch, and she gets whatever I tell her to do done in a flash.
"The second is her role as a bodyguard. Even against the Commander of the Line Knights, who is currently the strongest in the Empire, I am confident I could win if I went all out."
This, too, I acknowledge.
It didn't sound cool coming from someone munching on a potato, but she was of the Sword Saint's bloodline after all.
"The third is how well she emulates a respectable master. Honestly, I believe I have followed in your footsteps quite a lot."
"Aha, gotcha."
Emulating me?
You're emulating me?
You're saying lying on the sofa reading novels until you pass out is because of me?
She blinks her eyes innocently.
"Was there something wrong with that?"
"It's completely wrong! Where on earth do you see me acting lazy like that for you to emulate? I exercise hard, read books, and live such a busy life."
"However, you do not involve yourself in state affairs at all, do you?"
"......"
"Devoting oneself to Lugunica. Even if you are the second son, as long as you carry the name of the imperial family, I believe you hold that responsibility."
I subtly avert my eyes.
"What power do I even have? I'm just looked down upon as an incompetent second son."
"That is an act, is it not? Furthermore, the moment you possess a unique magic ability, I consider you to be an extremely special person."
"......"
"Was it Four Gods Shadow? The unique magic belonging solely to Dante-nim that can split Master-nim into up to four copies."
To cut off the momentum, Ahem! I clear my throat.
However, Miss Dante-nim's Perfect Whatever completely ignored it.
"Master-nim is also aware that there are many problems in the current Lugunica. Even so, simply staying detached just because you do not wish to ascend the throne... I cannot help but think that is somewhat lazy."
Attacking me with facts when you're just a maid?
But it can't be helped.
Cain has already laid down pile after pile of shit, and if I become the emperor, I'll be the one who has to clean all of it up.
Not only that, but I'd also have to resolve every single turbulent event that will happen in this country from now on.
Why should I?
I was making good money before transmigrating into a trashy world like this, so why the hell should I have to do all that?
Fuck, am I right or am I right!?
"Ngh......"
But I have no way of explaining this to her.
Because if I say, "Actually, this is inside a novel and I'm a transmigrator~", she'll just think I'm crazy.
As I racked my brain trying to gloss it over with some plausible words—
"......Fufu."
Alice, who had been staring intently at my face, giggled softly in a teasing manner.
"Do you know? When Master-nim is flustered, you narrow your brow while staring intently at something."
"......Did I?"
"Yes. But...... I see. Seeing as I even know such things, claiming to be a perfect maid was indeed somewhat arrogant of me."
With her cheeks turning a lovely shade of red, she continued speaking with a hint of bashfulness in her voice.
"Because the emotions I harbour for Dante-nim are not 'mere' respect or loyalty."
"Ah? What is that supposed to—"
Baaaaam—
Right then, the sound of trumpets announcing the Emperor's return echoed.
Sighing with a heart full of annoyance, I got up from my seat.
"Are you going to greet His Majesty?"
"I have to. No matter how much he views me like a dog, living comfortably like this is all thanks to my hyung."
"I shall attend you."
Neatly straightening her attire, Alice stood tall with her back straight, slightly bowing her head in a solemn posture as she followed behind me.
Truly the epitome of a maid. So-called work mode.
Since she only acts relaxed in front of me, it makes it all the more awkward to scold her.
Wearing a bitter smile, I walked down the hallway.
"......Huh?"
It was a routine occurrence.
Cain returns, I go out to greet him, and send Cain off without much conversation.
There were minor differences, but the overall context was always like that.
Which meant that Cain's butler, Alfred, who was always calm, running over in a mad rush was an extremely rare event.
"Y-Young Master Dante!!"
"Yo, Alfred. Did your first love show up or something? An old fogey like you sure has plenty of energy."
"T-Terrible news...... A terrible event has occurred......!"
Alfred's voice was trembling.
A butler who hadn't lost his composure even once, even if war broke out.
With eyes bloodshot red, he didn't know what to do with himself.
"T-The Emperor has......"
"Cain? What about Cain? Did something happen?"
Sensing that it wasn't a situation to joke around, I asked quite seriously, and he delivered something unbelievable—
Informing me that something completely different from the original story had transpired.
"His Majesty the Emperor...... has passed away."
......Pardon?