The Longing to Depart
Life at the cabin went on. Ten days passed, and the next day, Count Roxen did not arrive. The day after that was no different. During that time, we fully adapted to our new surroundings. Spending my first night here had felt much like my first day at the military training center back in my previous life—that overwhelming sense of disbelief, wondering how this could possibly be my reality. I had been filled with dread and anxiety then, but now, waking up to the sight of the wooden ceiling brought no particular thoughts to mind.
A routine of sorts had established itself in our daily lives. Hena and I were always the first to start the day. As soon as I woke up, I would run through the snow-covered fields to build up my stamina, while Hena prepared the meals and water for washing. Once I had worked up a good sweat, I chopped firewood. Splitting logs was a far more demanding workout than it looked. Swinging the axe with all my might always left me with a sense of accomplishment—and I particularly enjoyed feeling my muscles grow. Since Sirien was highly sensitive to the cold, we went through firewood quickly. No matter how much we stockpiled, the pile dwindled in the blink of an eye, so it was always best to keep a generous supply on hand.
"Are you awake?"
"Mmm..."
By the time I returned to the cabin, the siblings would be starting their morning. Sirien was washing her face with Hena's help, while Therion carved a mark into a corner of the wooden wall with his dagger. It was his way of keeping track of the days we had spent here.
"Is today the seventeenth day?"
"Yeah. Let's eat and then spar."
"Sure."
Though we had never spoken of it, an unwritten rule had formed between us: no one talked about wanting to go back soon. Because it was what we all desperately desired, it was a topic best left untouched. Clinging to such a hope would only breed misery. And so, we deliberately avoided the subject.
Therion and I sparred every single day. There wasn't much else to pass the time, and besides, a sword would rust if left neglected for even a few days. But rust didn't just form on blades. It formed on people, too. Without constant effort, one could never maintain a trained body and sharp techniques.
Our training sessions usually lasted anywhere from one to two hours. Out of a healthy fear of Hena, we refrained from any ground grappling and focused strictly on swordsmanship. Once we finished sparring, we would head down to the washing area to rinse off our sweat. Naturally, it was just the two of us during these moments, and today, Therion wore an uncharacteristically serious expression.
"Rajen. I've been thinking."
"You were thinking?"
"Hey!"
Well, even you have to admit it's a miracle.
"I'm not a complete idiot, you know. I might not be as smart as you or Sirien, but I still have thoughts of my own."
"Alright, alright. So, what were you thinking about?"
"The war with the Demon King... it's not going well, is it? Probably even worse than we can imagine. So, I started thinking about the worst-case scenario."
"I thought we agreed not to dwell on bad thoughts."
"I couldn't help it. Just listen, okay? I actually put some serious thought into this."
Therion gulped down some water. Having worked up a heavy sweat, he was parched. He spoke as if it were nothing of consequence.
"You know, when it comes down to it, I think Sirien is far more important than I am."
"Because she's your sister?"
"Of course that's part of it, but... I just keep thinking that she's better than me."
His tone was remarkably calm. It was the matter-of-fact voice of someone stating that two follows one—a simple, undeniable truth. I could tell he had already made up his mind.
"Well, that's hardly news."
"Do you have any idea how obnoxious you can be sometimes?"
"I do."
"Even that response is obnoxious."
Therion let out a soft chuckle. As he washed away the dirt, I noticed quite a few minor cuts on his body. No matter how careful we tried to be, clashing blades inevitably left behind small injuries. Yet, for all his whining about other things, Therion never once complained about the wounds he received during our spars. When it was time to be serious, he was more dedicated than anyone.
I didn't dislike that side of him. That was why I could tolerate his childish tantrums when he failed to act like the eldest sibling, and why I never held a grudge against him.
"About the other day... the day my uncle didn't show up. I was in the wrong. I'm really sorry, again."
"I already accepted your apology."
"I didn't apologize to you properly back then. What I did was cowardly. I shouldn't have treated you like that, and I shouldn't have shown that side of myself to Sirien or Hena either."
He offered his apology with quiet sincerity. Deciding it would be easier on both of us to simply accept it without any unnecessary remarks, I nodded. Therion's expression softened instantly.
"At some point, it hit me. Even if we leave this place, we might not actually be safe. The fact that they haven't come to fetch us yet must mean the world outside is incredibly dangerous."
"That's a possibility."
"Which is why we need to prepare for the worst. For instance... if Sirien and I are in mortal danger, and only one of us can survive, who should it be?"
"I'm a little hurt. I picked up the sword precisely to prevent something like that from happening. Do you really have that little faith in me?"
"I'm telling you this because I trust you."
Being trusted always had a way of stirring one's heart. I didn't want to show how much his words pleased me, though. Feeling too embarrassed to admit it, I pretended to be indifferent. I noticed a tiny, barely perceptible spot on my blade that hadn't been sharpened properly. I could have left it alone, but for some reason, I felt compelled to grind it down right then and there.
"Even you can't overcome every single crisis, Rajen. But I believe you can definitely save at least one of us."
"Mmm."
"If it comes to that, Sirien always comes first. Promise me."
"...Are you really okay with that?"
"I have to be. I am an Ilencia too. A noble must be able to make hard decisions in critical moments, and bear the responsibility that comes with them. That is what I was taught."
Screeech. Screeech. The whetstone and the blade cried out as they ground against each other.
"Sirien is much wiser than I am. It hurts my pride a bit as her older brother, but she's far more mature. She sees the bigger picture."
"Well, everyone except you already knew that."
"Are you going to keep doing this?"
"Haha, sorry."
I laughed awkwardly, then met Therion's gaze. He was waiting for a proper, solemn promise. So, even if they were words I didn't want to utter, I had to say them.
"So, what exactly do you want me to do?"
"Promise me that no matter what happens, you will protect Sirien."
"Alright. I promise."
It was a promise that hardly needed to be made in the first place. Just as Hena was Therion's maid, I was Sirien's knight. The original plan was for me to follow the senior knights to the battlefield, gain some experience and merit, receive my formal knighthood, and then be officially appointed as Sirien's personal guardian. Sirien had mentioned that the Grand Duke of Ilencia had already promised this. The Knight Commander and my father were also aware of it, so it was practically set in stone.
Still, I didn't want to let the heavy atmosphere linger. I tacked on a few playful words.
"If I have to, I'll use you as bait, so don't go hating me for it. Even if you come back to haunt me as a ghost, I'm going to ignore you."
"You just have to say things like that, don't you?"
"Do you hate it?"
"No. Just make sure you keep your promise. And if you can... look after Hena too."
After my spar with Therion, we would idle away a bit of time until it was Hena's turn to prepare lunch. In her spare time, Sirien liked to read books from the old library. She had mentioned it was quite fun because there were several volumes that couldn't be found back in the Grand Duchy. Since this place was so ancient, some of those books were likely rare editions that were no longer in print.
Nothing out of the ordinary ever happened here. Occasionally, wild beasts would prowl nearby, but it seemed the claim that they couldn't cross the magic circle was entirely true. Once, a demonic beast far larger than myself had wandered close, but even that monster couldn't step foot onto the snowfield. Ultimately, to stave off the boredom, we spent our days playing word games or crafting crude toys. That was the entirety of our entertainment.
As the endless hours dragged on, we often found ourselves staring blankly out the window. The scenery here never changed, always presenting the exact same view. This meant that if anything new appeared, it would catch our attention immediately.
Today, it was Sirien who stood by the window. Only a few minutes prior, she had grumbled about her latest book choice being dreadfully boring before finally slamming it shut. Suddenly, she cried out at the top of her lungs.
"A carriage!"
It was the most cheerful her voice had sounded in days. Therion, who had been dozing off, bolted upright in an instant, while Hena, who was wiping down the table, stared over with wide eyes. Since I happened to be standing near Sirien, I was able to peer out the window as well.
It was true. Although it didn't bear the flag of the Ilencia Grand Duchy, a carriage I recognized from inside Leheim Castle was approaching.
"Let's go, quick!"
The excited siblings rushed down the cabin stairs. I lingered a moment longer, watching the carriage. To my eyes, it didn't look empty. In fact, it seemed to be heavily loaded with something.