A Wish (1)
What should I do? My brain had completely short-circuited. My broken train of thought screeched and ground its gears, spiraling out of control. A kiss. Me? With Sirien? I had to refuse. But was it really okay for me to reject her first in a place like this? No, I couldn't do that. It would undoubtedly hurt her. A thread of remaining sanity saved me from making the worst possible choice. Then, should I accept? Was that really okay? I was caught in a classic dilemma. Trapped between a rock and a hard place, my limbs felt completely frozen.
While I stood there paralyzed, Sirien moved first. The girl I had always known—no, the woman she had become—turned to face me directly. For a brief moment, it felt as though the entire world had ground to a halt. Even the wind seemed to hold its breath, waiting for her to speak. She tilted her head back, looking up at me. I could see a fierce resolve in her crimson eyes. Her cheeks, which always flushed red whenever she was embarrassed, were as rosy as ever. But something was different. Normally, Sirien would have averted her gaze, but right now, she was staring straight into my eyes.
"Si-Sirien?"
"Rajen. Do you... dislike it?"
"It's not that I dislike it. Absolutely not. It's just, what I mean is..."
"I see. Thank goodness."
As the sun dipped below the horizon, it cast a warm orange glow over Sirien's silver hair, and a tender, bittersweet smile graced her lovely face. Inhale. Exhale. I could clearly hear the sound of her deep, shaky breath. Even amidst the roaring noise of the festival, every single detail of Sirien was being permanently etched into my mind.
She was coming closer. Sirien took a step toward me. The meaning behind her movement was unmistakable. Her hand reached up to cup my neck, and my heart hammered frantically against my ribs. I couldn't muster an ounce of resistance against the gentle pull of her hand. A force so delicate it felt as if it might vanish like an illusion had become a shackle far more powerful than any magic.
I was probably wearing an incredibly foolish expression right now. Or maybe I looked completely stiff. I really didn't want a moment like this captured in a photograph. Sirien would tease me about it even ten years down the line. But one thing was certain: when Sirien leaned her head in, I didn't pull away. I accepted it.
"Mmph."
And then, our lips met. At first, there was only a sweet fragrance. Then, her feverish breath seeped into me, and her hands pressed firmly against my back as if she were craving more. Her small, soft, and moist lips eagerly explored mine. Sirien's hands tangled in my hair, pulling me closer. I wrapped my arms around her back, pulling her rich silver hair into my embrace. My lips brushed against her flawless, porcelain skin. Her faint, pleasant scent washed over me, just as it always did. I shouldn't... use my tongue, right? I couldn't bring myself to go that far yet. The guilt would be too much to bear.
"Haah, nnh..."
"Mmm..."
When our brief kiss ended and we pulled back slightly, Sirien's eyes felt strangely unfamiliar. It was as if a profound, aching sorrow was trapped inside those crimson glass beads. She looked so breathtakingly beautiful that I couldn't tear my eyes away. It felt as though our relationship had fundamentally shifted in the span of a single kiss. Sirien stared straight at me, her eyes trembling. Her expression hovered somewhere between crying and smiling.
"Rajen."
"Yeah?"
"I... can't hold back anymore."
Sirien lunged for my lips once again.
[Sirien Ilensia]
It was all according to my plan.
From standing on this stage with Rajen to our lips meeting, absolutely nothing had been left to chance. Even my stroll through the village yesterday to scout the layout beforehand had been solely for this very moment.
I had scouted out a spot where we could head toward the stage without looking too conspicuous. I had already memorized the perfect place to naturally watch the stage and dance together. In the sequence of events that led to me watching the performance with Rajen, coincidence played absolutely no part.
And so, I reaped the first fruits of my labor. Every time our lips intimately intertwined, an ecstatic shockwave surged through my veins. A tingling sensation spread to the very tips of my fingers and toes. I knew I would never, ever forget the sheer bliss of this moment.
I had said it once before, hadn't I? That I had ultimately claimed you as my knight. So, taking all of you for myself wouldn't be that difficult either. See? I've already claimed your lips like this. It won't be long before I completely conquer your heart as well.
"I... can't hold back anymore."
However, even I hadn't planned for this. Originally, I had only intended to stop at a light kiss. I knew that would be more than enough to make me happy, and I thought I would need more time to prepare myself mentally before taking it any further.
Yet, the moment I actually tasted Rajen's lips, my entire body flushed with heat. A searing sensation flared up deep within my chest, becoming almost unbearable. Mental preparation? In truth, I didn't need anything of the sort. After we parted, Rajen was looking at me—not as a friend, but as a woman. His expression showed that his heart was pounding so hard he could barely contain it, mirroring my own. Seeing him look at me like that, how could I possibly stay still? And so, I threw myself onto his lips once more.
"Mmph, ah... nnh."
More fiercely than before. Far more passionately. Without holding back my desires, I surrendered my body to the whims of my heart. The dam of patience I had painstakingly built over the years finally burst. Everything that had restrained me until now—my pride, my reason—crumbled into dust. A torrential flood of emotion drove my body of its own accord. I could no longer control myself.
I was the first to slip my tongue into his mouth. My tongue tangled deeply, sensually, with his, which had frozen in sheer surprise. It was intoxicatingly sweet. No dessert I had ever tasted in my life could even begin to compare to this sweetness. It was almost unfair. To think he had been hiding something so soft inside that rigid, solid body of his.
Our saliva mingled. In that sticky, sweet exchange, it became impossible to tell whose was whose. My chest swelled with a profound fullness, like parched earth finally receiving a long-awaited rain.
"Sirien... mmph, mgh."
"Just a little... just a little more."
This wasn't a short wait. I had waited for today for a span of time so vast Rajen couldn't even begin to fathom. When was the very first time I started waiting for you? Was it when I first realized my feelings in the Sanctuary of Hybras? No. Was it when I felt that possessive urge toward you in the cave? I don't think so either. It wasn't when we wandered that seemingly endless forest path, nor was it the day we were trapped in that dilapidated cabin.
I had been waiting for this day since long before any of those moments. It was likely from the very instant I first laid eyes on you. From the day the adults introduced you to me, saying we would be friends from then on.
My first friend. My first knight. And my first love.
You probably have no idea. Even back in the castle, my eyes were always on you. Whenever my tedious lessons ended, I would wait solely for your training to finish. When the waiting became too much to bear, my feet would move on their own. After all, those moments walking through the garden with you were my absolute happiest. And when I realized that you were looking back at me too, I felt like I could fly right up into the sky.
How could I not love you?
When, in the end, you are the only thing I truly possess. You were the beginning of all my experiences, and you threw away your life for me time and time again. I want to give you my everything in return. My life, my past, my future, my heart, and my body. So, this wasn't just a four-year wait. I have been waiting for over ten years. Perhaps, I have been waiting my entire life for this very moment.
I continued to press my lips against Rajen's for a long time, until the wild fluttering in my chest finally began to settle. As the kiss dragged on, it felt as though the surrounding crowd had held their collective breath, watching us in stunned silence. I didn't care. Only when my mind was completely saturated with satisfaction did I finally pull my lips away.
A thin, silver thread of saliva stretched between us before snapping and dripping onto the floor. As I wiped my lips with the back of my hand, a laugh bubbled up from within me.
"Ahaha, haha... Ahahaha!"
I actually did it. I really did it with so many people watching. I felt like I might die of embarrassment, yet I couldn't stop laughing.
"How was it? That was my first kiss."
"It was... obviously my first too. You know that."
"Yeah. That's why I'm so glad. I'm so happy."
Look forward to it, my love. This time, I'm only taking your lips, but the rest will follow soon. I've waited long enough.
"You know, Rajen. Don't make me wait any longer."
"..."
"Your wish. If you don't choose it carefully, I'll make sure you regret it for the rest of your life."
After all, I am soon to become the most expensive woman in the world. I've just handed you an incredibly easy opportunity to claim such a woman. My knight is clever, so I trust he understood my words perfectly.