40. Vicarious Satisfaction
40. Vicarious Satisfaction
40. Vicarious Satisfaction
What would it feel like if the person who raised you was the one who killed your parents?
'Probably enough to make you vomit.'
You'd deny yourself. The very fact that you grew up under those hands would be a disgrace.
No matter how much they raised you, the murder of your own parents could never be forgiven.
The sensation of your entire existence being rejected.
Ban Ha-na's mind couldn't endure it. That's probably why she went berserk.
I resolved to take what Shin Si-hwa had told me to the grave.
'If this reaches Ban Ha-na's ears...'
She'd walk the villain's path again, just like in V. AGE.
My guess was close to certainty. I had to keep this from Ban Ha-na at all costs.
Shin Si-hwa looked at me with a serious expression.
"I want that child to have nothing more to do with Black Dawn. That's just... that's just... absurd."
Maybe it was because she'd witnessed her own parents suffer from that incident at a young age.
Shin Si-hwa seemed unsettled deep down by Ban Ha-na's connection to Black Dawn.
The somber mood lingered.
Only the passage of time could lift it.
Once enough time had passed and we'd both collected our thoughts,
Shin Si-hwa let out a sigh that lightened the tension in her heart.
"Whew..."
"Feeling a little calmer?"
"Yes... I'm sorry you had to see me like this, Si-jun. You haven't even been back long, and I've already burdened you..."
"Ha ha..."
At her words of concern, I could only laugh.
Ban Ha-na's past was a fairly heavy burden, but my shoulders were already weighed down by Ban Ha-na herself clinging to me.
"I've got a bigger burden already, so it's fine..."
How to educate her.
That was the far heavier burden for me.
"Ah... yes... is that so...?"
Shin Si-hwa answered with an awkward smile.
Come to think of it.
How do I clear up the terminal illness misunderstanding?
Shin Si-hwa had compounded the misconception, now convinced that my contact with Black Dawn was to find treatment for my illness.
The place where Han Yu-wol and I met was the Back Alley, one of the forbidden zones.
Explaining that I ran into her there by chance while looking for medicine would bring way too much fallout down on my head.
'A... a student went to the B-Back Alley...? Han Si-jun. You're expelled. How disappointing.'
The Back Alley was one of South Korea's Three Great Forbidden Zones.
Far better to say I met Black Dawn to cure a terminal illness than to get caught having set foot in that place.
Sometimes a lie is the right answer.
'Guess I'll just be terminally ill.'
If I can't get a girl, that is terminal, isn't it?
I kept my mouth shut and decided to go along with Shin Si-hwa's misconception.
Shin Si-hwa, unaware of my thoughts, began asking about my health.
"So, Han Si-jun... have you found a treatment...?"
"It's not going well..."
"Ah..."
Shin Si-hwa let out a lament.
She seemed to have a big heart, empathizing with and embracing everyone's emotions.
She appeared to find my short remaining life pitiful and extended a helping hand.
"If there's... anything I can do to help, please don't hesitate to tell me! I'm your teacher, after all!"
"H... help...?"
Help?
In other words, wasn't she offering to kiss me?
Unfortunately, if the person you kiss has no romantic feelings for you,
you don't qualify, and it has no effect.
I spoke to Shin Si-hwa in a regretful tone.
"There's nothing you can really help with, Ms. Shin..."
"Has it deteriorated that badly...? So badly that my help is useless...?"
"No, that's not it..."
"A terminally ill boy... and a girl who doesn't know...! Childhood friends like that... ahh... it's too tragic..."
I'm not sure why, but once Shin Si-hwa's delusion switch flipped on,
she seemed blind to everything around her. She wasn't listening to a word I said.
She probably has a brain optimized for delusion.
The thought crossed my mind.
After some time, once Shin Si-hwa's fantasy had run its course,
her eyes sparkled as she made a suggestion.
"Si-jun. Would you consider getting an examination? One of my colleagues from the academy is an A-rank hero! She's a healer. You might be able to get some help!"
"I... I'm fine."
"Why? Why not? Don't you want to live a long life? Don't you want to see your childhood friend more?"
She rose from her chair and leaned her face toward me.
As far as I could tell, Shin Si-hwa was deeply invested in our childhood-friend relationship.
How to put it... it felt like she was watching a romance drama all by herself.
I guessed that from her third-party position, she pitied me as terminally ill while savoring the budding innocence between childhood friends.
She wouldn't be this interested otherwise.
"You're going to have a romance before you die, right...!? You're not going to date Ha-yeon? Childhood friends are obviously supposed to date...!!"
"M-Ms. Shin, calm down. Please calm down."
"To an unmarried teacher like me, student romances are the most entertaining topic!! Answer me, quickly! When are you two getting together!?"
This must be how a drama's lead actor feels when a random passerby bombards them with questions.
I was starting to understand why Shin Si-hwa, pushing thirty with perfectly decent looks, had never married.
"Is a childhood friend not good enough? Do you like Ha-na more!? Is Ha-yeon not to your liking!?"
Shin Si-hwa's questions stormed in.
She kept leaning closer and closer to me, to the point where I thought the desk might tip over.
At this rate, the desk would collapse before the interrogation ended.
I immediately tried to change the subject.
"Th-then... later. I'll get an examination later. If you could ask that healer for me, I'd appreciate it..."
"Yes, Si-jun! Get the examination and live longer. And don't go asking villains for treatments ever again. Understood? I know you're desperate, but they will never grant your request. They're bad people who feel ecstasy watching others die."
"Yes. Understood. I understand perfectly."
No more questions.
Shin Si-hwa's questions were like someone watching a drama and asking, 'Why is that character doing that?' — I couldn't answer her at all.
The counseling session ended there.
Shin Si-hwa must have sensed the mood winding down, because she said goodbye in a regretful tone.
"What a shame, Si-jun. If lunchtime were just a little longer, we could have had such a productive time..."
"Ha ha... indeed, Ms. Shin. Such a shame."
I forced out as much regret as I could with stiff delivery.
I rose from my seat, gave her a polite nod, and opened the door.
Creeeak.
Thud.
The dull sound of the door closing.
Whew, it was finally over.
The long yet short counseling session had ended.
Time to use my remaining time efficiently.
A familiar voice came from beside me.
"Han Si-jun."
"Na Yu-na...?"
What was she doing here?
Na Yu-na, the granddaughter of the NAVI Family.
As I stepped out of the room, she was there, greeting me for the first time in a while.
She addressed me in her usual stiff manner.
"Congratulations. You made it back alive."
"Of course I'm alive. Were you hoping I'd die?"
"No. It's not that... I just thought getting kidnapped by villains and dying might've been better."
Why the sudden curse?
I'd barely made it back alive from a villain's lair.
Telling a friend they'd be better off dead?
Just as I felt a slight sting,
Na Yu-na began to explain what she meant by that.
"Because of you, NAVI Enterprise's stock price fell. There was a flaw in the security system, and revenue dropped. You're in big trouble."
"How is that my fault? Blame Black Dawn."
"My family's company seems to disagree. They're taking it out on the wrong target. You'd better be careful."
So they couldn't touch Black Dawn, so they'd go after easy prey — me.
Her words were stiff, but Na Yu-na had clearly come to warn me out of concern.
After all, from her position, I was her first friend.
'I wonder how Ban Ha-na and Na Yu-na would get along.'
The thought crossed my mind. My guess was the combination would be disastrous.
One hundred percent logic versus one hundred percent zero logic.
Though, no matter how I thought about it, Na Yu-na seemed like she'd take the heavier damage.
"Anyway, you came to check on me, right? Thanks. It's good to see your face after so long."
"What are you talking about? Anyway, I'll block whatever I can on my end. We're friends. Take care."
Pale blonde hair.
Na Yu-na, her long hair tied back with a butterfly-shaped pin.
Whether from embarrassment or not, she turned around immediately and headed back the way she came.
'With Na Yu-na... better not to go there.'
I'd considered whether to kiss her, but there was too much to lose.
In V. AGE, when Na Yu-na's Affection Level exceeded 80 percent, a branching point triggered the Na Yu-na Route.
It was notorious for its content and boasted a fairly high difficulty.
'At this rate, I'd probably die faster than become her lover.'
Na Yu-na was destined to inherit the massive NAVI Group.
And the people in that company would sweep away anyone they saw as an obstacle to making her the perfect heir.
'For now, Na Yu-na stays on hold for the life-extension plan.'
The risk far outweighed the reward.
In my current state, the right move was to rescue Na Yu-na.
I had zero intention of advancing things romantically with her.
'Na Yu-na probably feels the same way.'
Inserting something like love into that robot-like emotional framework was nearly impossible.
Did Na Yu-na even know the word love in the first place?
That alone was questionable.
More importantly, NAVI has its eyes on me...
Getting marked by the NAVI Family was inevitable as the episodes progressed anyway.
It was only a matter of timing.
It wasn't that big of a problem for me.
I just had to keep walking forward along the set episodes.