36. One Day Suddenly My Childhood Friend Started Looking Like a Man
36. One Day Suddenly My Childhood Friend Started Looking Like a Man
In the beginning.
When Han Si-jun said he had "something to tell me."
My heart was completely calm.
It had been a long time since he'd come to me saying he had something to talk about.
And this time, Han Si-jun said it was something important.
"What could it be? Something important."
At first, I didn't get it. But the moment we were face-to-face, I knew.
Something was going to happen today.
A premonition.
The sense that our relationship as childhood friends was about to change.
I could feel it radiating off Han Si-jun, wound tight with nerves.
His whole demeanor was exactly like a man hesitating before a confession.
That was more than enough to make me get the wrong idea.
Careful not to break the delicate mood, we walked toward a quiet park.
That moment.
"Yu Ha-yeon."
He suddenly took my hand and spoke with utter sincerity.
"I-is he really going to confess...?"
For real?
Han Si-jun, who had never once thought of me as a woman...?
After Han Si-jun was kidnapped.
I realized the feelings I held for him weren't the kind you have for family.
Han Si-jun as a man, not a family member.
I hated the thought of him going somewhere far away. I hated the thought of him going to another woman even more.
If I ever became someone's lover, it would be Han Si-jun.
If I ever got married, it would be to Han Si-jun.
Those were the thoughts about my relationship with him that filled the entire week he was gone.
"Could it be... today is the day we finally break out of that relationship...!?"
Of course.
It didn't take long for me to realize I'd jumped to conclusions, but in that moment, my heart had slammed the accelerator to the floor.
And that damned Han Si-jun, who got my poor heart racing over nothing, spat out words he never should have said.
"Introduce me to a girl."
"...What?"
Wasn't this the part where he confessed?
Worse, he was telling me to introduce him to a girl?
First came surprise.
Then shock.
Then anger.
After running through that entire emotional sequence, my feelings and thoughts arrived at a single conclusion.
"This guy seriously doesn't see me as a real woman."
Middle school.
Han Si-jun, who'd spent all of elementary school in the hospital, had a decent start to his first real school life.
His natural looks and presence.
But a slightly off personality.
Even so, female students who didn't know their place were drawn to him.
They only approached him for his face, of course, so I quietly took care of them.
No matter what, I'm not handing my childhood friend over to just anyone.
Even with all his flaws, I knew him better than anyone—as his childhood friend, I knew Han Si-jun was a good kid.
Because of that, Han Si-jun had never once been in a relationship under my watch. He probably didn't even know how to interact with a woman who wasn't me.
"After I got kidnapped, I realized... dying without ever being in a relationship is way too unfair. I want to at least try it once."
That Han Si-jun.
Was declaring he was going to date.
Something even I hadn't done.
With another woman.
"So this is what I trained for...?"
I pushed myself through all that training to gain the strength to protect him for life.
And now he says he wants to date another woman.
Asks me to set him up.
"When I'm the one who raised you... you really think I'd send you off to some other woman...?"
I will never let that happen.
Han Si-jun didn't see me as a woman. To him, I was family.
But I wasn't enough of a doormat to just hand him over to someone else.
"Right. This must have been my fate all along."
A destiny where I have to make Han Si-jun see me as a woman, not family.
Because if I don't, he will never look at me that way.
So I decided to turn the situation to my advantage.
"Be clear with me. Do you want me to set you up so you can date someone? Or is there a specific girl around me you're after?"
"...I just want to try dating."
Han Si-jun's goal was simply to date.
Since he already lived with me, his standards had been raised. An ordinary woman wouldn't satisfy him.
And as for me,
I had absolutely no intention of letting Han Si-jun go to another woman.
"If you want to date, I'll date you instead. How about that?"
To my offer, Han Si-jun answered, "We're family."
Family.
Family.
That damned family.
Han Si-jun refuses to see me as a woman.
In that case, I have no choice but to make him see me.
"Th-then... we can do it as practice...! Practice...! You've never dated, and I've never dated...! Let's practice...!! It'll be useful when we actually date someone later...!"
I threw away every shred of pride I had.
I didn't like how this was basically confessing to Han Si-jun.
But if I didn't make a move, Han Si-jun would see me as family for the rest of his life.
And he would leave me for another woman.
Fake lovers.
Dating practice.
With that, I'd put a leash on Han Si-jun, who looked ready to slip away.
Running on those thoughts, I made my suggestion.
And Han Si-jun gave it serious thought.
"I absolutely cannot stand the sight of you dating another woman."
You have to stay by my side. Always.
We're childhood friends, after all.
If Han Si-jun ever dated someone who wasn't me.
I can't even predict what I'd do after that.
***
"...Alright. Dating practice. Not bad."
No matter how I looked at it, practicing dating with Yu Ha-yeon had only upsides.
I'd learn more about women, and figure out what kind of things women liked.
"The only thing I know is that women like empathy, so this is a good start."
Yu Ha-yeon, not as family but as a woman.
The lessons I'd learn from her would be knowledge I could take to the grave.
Dating Yu Ha-yeon didn't exactly thrill me, since we were family, but...
If the label "practice" was attached, it wouldn't feel that strange.
"Since it's just practice, things won't get awkward after we break up, either."
Yu Ha-yeon and I were basically stuck with each other for life.
Awkwardness was bad for both of us, so as long as we could shake off any lingering feelings after, it'd be fine.
I turned to Yu Ha-yeon, who was staring at me blankly.
"So, how exactly do we do dating practice?"
"W-well... what do we do...?"
"...?"
"Wh-what are you looking at...! I've never dated anyone either, you know...!?"
Come to think of it.
Yu Ha-yeon was a lifelong single, just like me.
"Is this really going to count as practice...?"
I leveled a skeptical look at Yu Ha-yeon. She bristled instantly.
"J-just wait! I'm thinking..."
Yu Ha-yeon started muttering to herself. "H-how... how do you even date...?"
Her brain clearly had the right concept, but the execution was lacking.
The idea of dating practice was solid, but Yu Ha-yeon had zero clue how to implement it.
"Should we just drop it?"
"Sh-shut up! A contract once made is eternal...!"
Yu Ha-yeon declared there were no take-backs.
I had a feeling this was a mistake.
Yu Ha-yeon mulled it over for a moment.
Then her cat-like eyes flashed wide, and she stepped closer.
"G-give me your hand."
"...?"
Without a second thought, I offered her my hand.
She took it and moved beside me.
"So this is, what, couple hand-holding? Something like that?"
"..."
Nod.
Yu Ha-yeon nodded, held my hand, and sneaked a glance at me.
Silent pressure to give her a review.
Left with no choice, I decided to tell Yu Ha-yeon the truth.
"How is this any different from what we always do...?"
"Ah."
Yu Ha-yeon smacked her own forehead as if a light bulb had gone off.
Great grades, but she had a scatterbrained streak.
Amid all this, a question about Fenrir popped into my head.
"Hey, mutt. Does fake dating count as being lovers?"
—Fake. Lovers. But. Hearts. Like. Lovers. Kiss. Kiss. Do it. Human.
"I said stop begging. Dog."
Fenrir said that even if it was fake, as long as the hearts were real, a kiss was all it took to make it count.
So family and lovers really did have similar hearts, huh?
Even Fenrir acknowledged the heart of a childhood friend.
—Female. Pitiful. Male. Dating. Has. No. Damn. Clue.
"Pitiful? Why?"
—Nothing. Stupid. Male.
The hell.
Why was he suddenly insulting me?
Fenrir's words were beyond my comprehension.
For the time being, I decided to let go of her hand.
"Ah...!"
"This is just what we always do. Let's do something more like real lovers."
"...What do lovers do?"
Hmm...
Something lovers do...
"A back hug?"
"...You do that to me all the time, too."
"Then, carrying you like a princess?"
"Can you even lift me?"
"Might be a little rough, but I can manage it."
"..."
I racked my brain for lover-like actions, but nothing came to mind.
Yet Yu Ha-yeon's cat-like eyes were blazing as she stared at me, as if there was no getting off this train once it had left the station.
Then,
a good idea hit me—one that could fill the quota.
"How about a kiss? That's something we've never done, right?"
"K-kiss...!? Isn't that too fast...?"
Yu Ha-yeon and I had technically pecked once because of an accident when we were kids.
Back when I was lying in a hospital bed.
I was asleep, woke from a nightmare—
And Yu Ha-yeon, who was on top of me—crash!
—and her lips hit my cheek. So that was the lead-in to me suggesting a kiss, something we hadn't actually done.
A reasonable enough suggestion.
But contrary to my expectations, Yu Ha-yeon's reaction was less than stellar.
She turned her back to me and started muttering curses under her breath.
"A k-kiss...? Are you insane... pervert... scumbag... drop dead..."
"'Drop dead'? That's a little harsh."
At that, Yu Ha-yeon spun around and shot me a glare.
"Do I look like that kind of easy woman to you...? The kind who gives up her lips the very day you become a couple...?"
"No. That's not what I meant..."
"A kiss is off-limits. You perverted bastard. Trying to push your luck from day one...! My body is the only thing you're after, isn't it...!?"
Yu Ha-yeon was spiraling into a bizarre delusion all on her own.
And the delusion kept adding flesh to its bones.
"Asking me to set you up was just so you could fool around casually, wasn't it...? Lewd. No, Han Si-jun. You are not allowed to have a girlfriend without my permission. Understood...!?"
"Why should I? No."
"You don't have a choice. You're weaker than me, so I'll protect you. From villains, from women. From anyone."
Yu Ha-yeon, unaware of my contract with Fenrir, was basically telling me to drop dead once my lifespan ran out.
No, see, the whole point is I need to get a girlfriend so my lifespan increases?
But if I said that to Yu Ha-yeon, she'd only make an even bigger scene.
Given her usual extreme obsession with my health, she would not welcome the news that I didn't have much time left.
And she'd probably dismiss any solution involving women outright.
"No. There's no way your lifespan increases by kissing a woman. Si-jun is clearly losing his mind because his time is near. Let's look for a new treatment together."
I could see that future perfectly clearly without even having to go there.
After spending so many years together, Yu Ha-yeon's behavior was as plain as water to me.
As I sank into that thought,
Yu Ha-yeon suddenly placed a finger on my lips and whispered softly.
"My lips are more expensive than anything. Got it? They aren't something you hand out to just anyone, or give away cheaply."
So.
"B-but... if it's you... and you earn it... I m-might let you...? Y-you know... just... figure it out..."
Averting her eyes, Yu Ha-yeon's voice grew quieter and quieter, but I could still make out every word.
She always fumbled the finish.
I whispered toward Yu Ha-yeon's back as she practically fled.
"I'll do my best."
"Put in a lot of effort. My first kiss is very expensive...!"
Yu Ha-yeon seemed to be in a much better mood than before.
It looked like the kind of joy that surfaced when things went exactly the way she'd planned.
"...Did I just get played?"
For a moment, I felt like Yu Ha-yeon had pulled one over on me.
But if it was Yu Ha-yeon, I could let myself get played like this.
Because she was family, a childhood friend.
Because fate just worked out that way.