First Kiss
"Hic!"
She looked ready to burst into tears at any moment, then quickly wiped the moisture gathering at the corners of her eyes. "Hey, you."
She stomped toward me like she was about to hit me. "Gasp..!"
I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for the blow to my solar plexus. With how jealous my lady could be, seeing Chloe pressed so close while checking my body would look suspicious no matter the context. There was no way she wouldn't misunderstand—especially after we'd just come back from a fight! Couldn't she tell from the bloodied mess that was Laplace?
Still, this felt unfair...
"...?"
Instead of pain, a heavy warmth spread across my entire body. I cracked one eye open.
"..."
My lady's face was buried against my chest, her arms wrapped tightly around me.
..So she wasn't angry? Right, even a porcupine-turned-plague-doctor like her couldn't possibly misunderstand after seeing that scene.
'Still, I shouldn't let my guard down yet.'
What if she was planning to hug me just to slam me into the ground afterward?
While I watched her warily, her head began to shift. She seemed to be trying to look up but couldn't quite find the right moment. What was this—embarrassment?
'Guess she wasn't planning to grab and throw me after all...'
Feeling a little guilty, I gently patted the top of her head like one would a cat. Chloe, who had been nervously rolling her eyes around, finally spoke up.
"Um, Seb. Who's this woman? Do you know her?"
"Ah, she's the lady I mentioned before—Ow!"
At that moment, the arms around my waist tightened sharply. Chloe flinched as my lady shot her a vicious glare.
"What, my lady? Are you jealous?"
My teasing seemed to light a fuse. My lady yanked her hands away from my waist and pointed straight at Chloe.
"And who the hell is that big-chested woman? Why is she touching you all over?"
She marched right up to Chloe, each step radiating irritation, then jabbed a finger at her.
"Hey! I don't know what gutter you crawled out of, but does it feel good trying to steal someone else's butler with that fox-like scheme of yours?"
Chloe scratched her cheek, looking flustered. "I think there's been a misunderstanding. Seb and I aren't like that—"
My lady clicked her tongue and planted one hand on her hip.
"Bullshit. You're using a nickname I don't even use. Do you want to get stabbed and split in half?"
She growled and reached for the hilt of her sword. Wait, that was treason—the other person was the princess!
"Can you take responsibility for those words?"
Chloe's hand slipped into her pocket, fingers brushing her gun as the threat carried a hint of violence.
"It's obvious. You were trying to seduce him with those vulgar breasts of yours, weren't you? And now you're pretending to be all noble. Makes me want to shove pesticide down your throat."
That... that was way too harsh. How was I supposed to clean this up later...?
"You look like you're desperately trying to shove your filthy tongue down his throat. Know your place."
My lady's words had crossed into full-on 19+ territory. Before I could figure out how to intervene, Chloe let out a dry laugh.
"How vulgar. A woman with zero class claiming to be Seb's master? It's a waste for Seb to even risk his life for you."
This was bad. I couldn't afford to hesitate. If I didn't stop them now, there'd be no going back. I clamped a hand over my lady's mouth just as she opened it to retort.
"This is what my fa— Mmph!!"
She'd been about to say something dangerous. Good thing I stopped her in time—Chloe hadn't heard it. If she'd finished that sentence, we might've created Shakespeare's fifth tragedy.
"Mmph! Mmph mmph!"
She struggled in my arms, then went limp like a cat grabbed by the scruff once she realized she couldn't win with brute force. I let out a relieved sigh and bowed to Chloe.
"I'm truly sorry. I should have stopped her sooner... She was rude to you, Sister."
It was the first time I'd called her "Sister." Chloe's displeased expression softened slightly as she shook her head.
"It's not your fault. Your master is the one without any sense, Seb."
Hearing that, my lady raised her hand and extended her middle finger. Seriously, why was she like this?! I quickly grabbed her hand and forced it down, bowing repeatedly like a parent apologizing for their troublemaking child.
"Please calm down, my lady. Her Highness and I are not in the kind of relationship you're imagining. She's the imperial princess who's helping us find your cure..."
My lady had been gnawing at the hand covering her mouth, but she froze the moment she heard my words. Her face went pale as the gravity of her mistake sank in. Still, her lips kept moving—she clearly had more to say. When I cautiously removed my hand, she stammered with trembling lips.
"No, how do you even know someone like her? And why are you being so friendly?!"
Chloe answered in a cool voice, as if she'd already calmed down.
"Seb is the younger sibling of someone who did me a great favor. So the two of us are essentially sworn siblings."
My lady's body shook violently before she managed to squeeze out a single sentence.
"S-Still! It's not right to touch someone who's already taken all over like that...!"
Chloe glanced at me, silently asking if she could counterattack. When I gave a small nod, she responded with her usual elegant smile.
"Strictly speaking, you two aren't even dating, are you? That's what I heard."
Then, as if getting revenge, she strode forward and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"In that case, according to your logic, I could seduce Seb right now by pressing my chest against him and you'd have nothing to say, right?"
It was a flawless argument. My lady's eyes darted around before she protested weakly.
"B-But still! This guy's master is me... So of course I have the right to stop my servant from interacting with outsiders...!"
Chloe chuckled and pulled out her wallet, waving it.
"Then I suppose I'll just buy Seb."
"...Huh?"
Ignoring my lady's stunned gasp, Chloe added, "How much was the contract fee promised to Seb? I'll pay five times that amount."
Fundamentally, a master and butler were bound by contract. If someone offered more money, it was always possible to switch employers. The situation had reached this point, so I decided to join in on the teasing. I sidled closer to Chloe and winked.
"Hmm... I might seriously have to consider switching sides. Her Highness wouldn't hit me and would treat me gently, right?"
Chloe caught on immediately and ran her hand down my back.
"Goodness, she even hits you? Don't worry. I'll treat you delicately, like a lover."
My lady's face crumpled at those words.
"Hngh... Hic..."
..Wait, was she crying?
"Sebastian... I'm sorry... I'm sorry too, Your Highness... I won't act arrogant again, okay?"
Before we could stop her, she continued through her sobs.
"I'll make sure I never appear in front of Your Highness again... So please, just give Seb back..."
Why was she acting like this? Had puberty hit her late? As she wailed pitifully, Chloe waved her hands awkwardly.
"Uh, sorry. I didn't realize you two were that close. I have urgent business, so I'll take my leave now."
She was trying to slip away and leave me to deal with this? Coward.
"...Yes, that would be best. See you next time."
Since her absence would clearly be better for everyone, I nodded and bid her farewell while holding my still-crying lady. Chloe left in a hurry.
My lady had stopped crying at some point and now just clung to me, embarrassed. Honestly, I wanted to tease her, but I had no idea what would happen if I did. So I stayed quiet, occasionally patting her head and back.
"...Sebastian."
Her voice was drained of strength. Why was she like this, seriously? She was making me feel guilty for no reason.
"Do you think she's better than me too?"
How was I supposed to answer that? No matter what I said, it would be hell. While I hesitated, my lady spoke in a resigned tone.
"Of course you do... I have less money than the princess, smaller breasts, and I'm not even pretty..."
Had my lady finally gone insane? She was saying things that would get her stoned if she said them anywhere else!
"Why would you say that? You're the only child of Duke Floyd, and your breasts aren't exactly small either!"
..And that wasn't all.
"Besides, your face is more to my taste than hers."
She stopped sniffling and lifted her head, looking up at me with teary eyes.
"R... Really? I'm prettier than her...?"
"Of course. Obviously you're prettier."
It wasn't like I was comforting an elementary schooler. Still, seeing the corner of her mouth twitch upward at the compliment made me feel good.
"Ahem! Then, when you saw the princess's chest, you didn't feel anything at all?"
She'd been fixated on breasts for a while now. What was with her?
"Of course not. She's just a partner helping me. Besides, she's the imperial princess—someone like that is far too good for me. Having those kinds of thoughts would practically be treason."
"U-Um! Ahem!"
Unable to hide her smile any longer, she buried her face in my chest and grinned.
"So you're not leaving, right? You'll stay by my side forever?"
Even after all that, she still needed confirmation. I wanted to tease her more, but if I pushed any further she'd probably start crying again.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'll always belong to you, my lady."
And that, at least, I could say with confidence. No need to joke about it.
"W-Well! Then I guess it can't be helped! I'll have to keep you company!"
Said the person who'd been bawling her eyes out just moments ago. When I let out a small laugh, she covered my eyes, looking annoyed.
"Come to think of it, I promised to do something if you came back safely, didn't I?"
She whispered into my ear, careful yet seductive.
..That wasn't a joke? I'd thought she was just teasing me because of the mood.
"As a reward for choosing me... I'll do it properly. Just wait a little."
Wait, she was actually going to do it? For real? I wasn't mentally prepared yet.
While I was thinking that, I felt someone else's breath gradually brush against my lips.
'Uwaa...'
My face flushed like I was the one who'd become the lady, but the soft sensation I'd expected never came. Instead, I only felt her breath hovering hesitantly just above my lips.
'Is she hesitating now?'
Before long—
Chu!
A soft, plush sensation enveloped my entire mouth as my lady finally removed the hand covering my eyes and wrapped her arms around my waist, pressing herself into my embrace. As if refusing to allow even her breath that had been brushing against my lips, she kept her mouth firmly closed while still trying to fit as much of it against mine as possible. Whether she was encouraging herself or me, she stroked my back repeatedly, her body trembling slightly. Whenever our eyes met through half-lidded gazes, she gave me a small eye-smile. It was more stimulating than I'd expected, carrying a strange charm beyond just the sensuality of the kiss.
"Mmm..."
After what felt like only a few seconds—
"Hyaah!"
My lady jerked away like she'd just regained her senses, then touched her lips a few more times before shouting.
"Y-You crazy pervert!!"
After doing all that herself...